[nabs-l] Grabbing etc.

[Patrick Molloy]

I find it quite ironic that, in trying to help us, sighted people
often cause more of a problem with regard to street crossing. Again,
they really do mean well, but their method of help still leaves a lot
to be desired (if desired at all.)
Patrick

On 11/8/11, Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com> wrote:
> OMG don't get me started about people trying to talk to me while I am
> crossing the street or waiting to do so. I didn't get good training or
> practice with street crossing until just a few years ago, so I find
> crossing big streets or unfamiliar intersections takes a lot of focus
> and concentration. I will usually say "I need you to be quiet so I can
> hear traffic" if people try to converse and this also works fairly
> well.
> Best,
> Arielle
>
> On 11/8/11, Patrick Molloy <ptrck.molloy at gmail.com> wrote:
>> Vejas,
>> It sounds like you did all the right things. If you told this guy you
>> were good and he still kept trying to help you and you told him again,
>> there's nothing wrong with that. While I haven't had the exact same
>> problem that you had, I can't tell you the number of times that people
>> come up to me on the street corner and try to help me cross. More
>> often than not, the person talks just as the cars I'm listening for
>> pull out, so by trying to help, they're actually being more of a
>> hinderance. I always try and remain positive and upbeat with these
>> people though and I calmly and politely explain that, no thanks, I
>> don't need their help. I find this works better than getting mad about
>> it. Most people mean well and want to do the right thing, but they
>> just have the wrong way of going about it. If we, that is to say the
>> blind community, can keep our cool when these people come up in our
>> daily lives, we'll wind up helping both us and them. Us in that the
>> next blind person one of these sighted people meets, they will know
>> what to do or not do and not do any of the things that we've been
>> talking about in this thread. And them in that we will be able to
>> educate people and make them more understanding. This in turn comes
>> back to my previous statement about remaining positive. Because blind
>> people are a minority, sighted people don't encounter too many of us.
>> If we always get mad right away, we'll wind up alienating more people
>> than we make friends with. Case and point: Once a guy came up to me
>> while I was learning my college's campus and asked if I needed help
>> getting to a particular place. I told him no, we got to talking, and
>> now we're really good friends. Hence, the importance of being
>> positive. Well, that was a lot more than I originally intended to
>> write, but that's my opinion.
>> Patrick
>>
>> On 11/8/11, vejas <brlsurfer at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> So I guess we don't need to be nice about grabbing? I'm a
>>> freshman in high school, and one time a senior started grabbing
>>> my elbow.  I told him politely that I could do it myself, but he
>>> didn't listen, so finally I said he could "go to class now." My
>>> aide thought I was being rude, but I felt as if I was adovacting
>>> for myself.  What are your thoughts on this?
>>> Vejas
>>>
>>>
>>>  ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: Bridgit Pollpeter <bpollpeter at hotmail.com
>>> To: Student Division <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>> Date sent: Tue, 8 Nov 2011 20:08:43 -0600
>>> Subject: [nabs-l] Grabbing etc.
>>>
>>>
>>> Arielle,
>>>
>>> Don't feel bad about losing your calm with people who grab you
>>> especially those who silently grab.  Any other situation, this
>>> would be called harassment, but because we are blind, it suddenly
>>> turns into charity.  I'll hit strangers who grab me.  I don't
>>> know what their intentions are, and it's just a gut reaction.  I
>>> don't purposely go around seeking people to beat up on, but if a
>>> complete stranger grabs me, my natural instinct is to protect
>>> myself.  Physical contact is one thing I don't think we need be
>>> diplomatic and patient with.  No one has the right to touch us
>>> even if out of kindness.  Does not common sense dictate that if
>>> I'm out on my own I'm probably okay and don't require assistance?
>>> Grabbing, or touching in any way, is crossing a line, and we
>>> shouldn't feel bad about reacting.  As I said, especially for
>>> women, in any other context, grabbing a person would constitute
>>> to harassment.
>>>
>>> Sincerely,
>>> Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
>>> bpollpeter at hotmail.com
>>>
>>> LiveWellNebraska.com
>>>
>>>
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>>
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