[nabs-l] Grabbing etc.

Fri Nov 11 00:09:36 UTC 2011

Arielle,
That would be a problem. I'd say the same thing, telling them I am fine and 
need to hear traffic to make a safe crossing.

But, I'll admit, I cannot always figure out the traffic cycle/pattern. Yes I 
know when there's a surge of parallel traffic. But its not always clear; for 
one thing, there may be insufficient traffic. For another, there may be so 
many turning cars that its not clear which street is going.
So, I might actually get help if they want to help, but I'll go sighted 
guide then.

But if we're walking up to a street and intend to cross independently, isn't 
it something how sighted people get interested in us. I mean, how do they 
think we got to the street in the first place?

I think its just that in urban areas there are many pedestrians and they 
don't know how we cross streets; so many want to help.

Ashley
-----Original Message----- 
From: Arielle Silverman
Sent: Tuesday, November 08, 2011 10:51 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Grabbing etc.

OMG don't get me started about people trying to talk to me while I am
crossing the street or waiting to do so. I didn't get good training or
practice with street crossing until just a few years ago, so I find
crossing big streets or unfamiliar intersections takes a lot of focus
and concentration. I will usually say "I need you to be quiet so I can
hear traffic" if people try to converse and this also works fairly
well.
Best,
Arielle

On 11/8/11, Patrick Molloy <ptrck.molloy at gmail.com> wrote:
> Vejas,
> It sounds like you did all the right things. If you told this guy you
> were good and he still kept trying to help you and you told him again,
> there's nothing wrong with that. While I haven't had the exact same
> problem that you had, I can't tell you the number of times that people
> come up to me on the street corner and try to help me cross. More
> often than not, the person talks just as the cars I'm listening for
> pull out, so by trying to help, they're actually being more of a
> hinderance. I always try and remain positive and upbeat with these
> people though and I calmly and politely explain that, no thanks, I
> don't need their help. I find this works better than getting mad about
> it. Most people mean well and want to do the right thing, but they
> just have the wrong way of going about it. If we, that is to say the
> blind community, can keep our cool when these people come up in our
> daily lives, we'll wind up helping both us and them. Us in that the
> next blind person one of these sighted people meets, they will know
> what to do or not do and not do any of the things that we've been
> talking about in this thread. And them in that we will be able to
> educate people and make them more understanding. This in turn comes
> back to my previous statement about remaining positive. Because blind
> people are a minority, sighted people don't encounter too many of us.
> If we always get mad right away, we'll wind up alienating more people
> than we make friends with. Case and point: Once a guy came up to me
> while I was learning my college's campus and asked if I needed help
> getting to a particular place. I told him no, we got to talking, and
> now we're really good friends. Hence, the importance of being
> positive. Well, that was a lot more than I originally intended to
> write, but that's my opinion.
> Patrick
>
> On 11/8/11, vejas <brlsurfer at gmail.com> wrote:
>> So I guess we don't need to be nice about grabbing? I'm a
>> freshman in high school, and one time a senior started grabbing
>> my elbow.  I told him politely that I could do it myself, but he
>> didn't listen, so finally I said he could "go to class now." My
>> aide thought I was being rude, but I felt as if I was adovacting
>> for myself.  What are your thoughts on this?
>> Vejas
>>
>>
>>  ----- Original Message -----
>> From: Bridgit Pollpeter <bpollpeter at hotmail.com
>> To: Student Division <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>> Date sent: Tue, 8 Nov 2011 20:08:43 -0600
>> Subject: [nabs-l] Grabbing etc.
>>
>>
>> Arielle,
>>
>> Don't feel bad about losing your calm with people who grab you
>> especially those who silently grab.  Any other situation, this
>> would be called harassment, but because we are blind, it suddenly
>> turns into charity.  I'll hit strangers who grab me.  I don't
>> know what their intentions are, and it's just a gut reaction.  I
>> don't purposely go around seeking people to beat up on, but if a
>> complete stranger grabs me, my natural instinct is to protect
>> myself.  Physical contact is one thing I don't think we need be
>> diplomatic and patient with.  No one has the right to touch us
>> even if out of kindness.  Does not common sense dictate that if
>> I'm out on my own I'm probably okay and don't require assistance?
>> Grabbing, or touching in any way, is crossing a line, and we
>> shouldn't feel bad about reacting.  As I said, especially for
>> women, in any other context, grabbing a person would constitute
>> to harassment.
>>
>> Sincerely,
>> Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
>> bpollpeter at hotmail.com
>>
>> LiveWellNebraska.com
>>
>>
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>
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