[nabs-l] Independence and judgment

Mon Nov 14 22:32:38 UTC 2011

Bridget,

Very very good post. I do find it amazing that people within our
organization judge. I am too a person who is not only blind, but I am also
hearing impaired, and have balance issues. Before I was married to my
current husband, I was at a national convention, I was lost, stopped someone
for directions. This was Dallas. And yes they were blind too. But because I
could not find my way, I was judged. I didn't ask for them to guide me, I
wasn't asking for them to lead me by my hand. Just give me some general
directions. When I explained I needed the elevator, not the stairs, again
more judgment. I avoid stairs like the plague, not because I am blind, but
because I could potentially fall down them. The judgment in our own
organization is harsher than in the normal sighted society. Because I am not
a super blindie, and I have to do things the way I do them, I get shamed
from NFB members. Our organization is not one that just has blind people in
it, we are now an organization with lots of people with additional
disabilities. But NO ONE is willing to recognize this, be sensitive to it,
and accept those people too. 

Just two cents!
Marsha  

-----Original Message-----
From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
Of Bridgit Pollpeter
Sent: Friday, November 11, 2011 3:57 PM
To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Subject: [nabs-l] Independence and judgment

Jedi,

Since you started... This segways nicely into a discussion I've long
wanted to open up.

First, everyone, blind, sighted, everyone, needs to recognize that
people need help sometimes. There's nothing wrong with asking for help,
but we also have to understand that blindness doesn't mean we need more
help than anyone else. I've always been very independent, and when I
lost my sight, it really irritated me that so many people thought I
required so much help. When I was diagnosed with tachycardia and severe
low blood pressure, it was difficult that there were times I literally
couldn't do much physically. I've always been very active, and before my
medications were regulated, I had a lot of difficulty just walking
because I felt so weak. Requiring assistance to move around had nothing
to do with my blindness, but I needed assistance because of my health. I
still have episodes where I feel weak enough to the point where I may
need an arm to lean on, but personally, I don't take sighted guide
because of my blindness. And on a side note, when I do need such
assistance, I don't care if the person is sighted or blind, as long as I
have the support necessary is all I care about. I guess I shouldn't so
much refer to it as sighted guide but simply a guide or support. Seeing
as I'm predominantly with my hubby, and he is blind, he is usually the
one who helps me out during these episodes, which goes to show I can't
call it sighted guide. Smile.

Now, I agree with you to an extent because I see so many blind people
complain about society and how we're not treated as equals or like we
can be independent. All this is said while I observe said people taking
sighted assistance more than is necessary. I try to not judge people I
don't know because I have no clue what a persons life is like. Such as
myself, who when having my weak blood pressure episodes could be judged
as a blind person always taking assistance, but if you knew me, you'd
know that my reasoning for a guide of any kind is because of health
related concerns. But I know plenty of people who have no reason to use
sighted assistance for every little thing. It's tough to argue our
independence and capabilities when we rarely choose to truly be
independent.

It makes my life difficult when I have to deal with people who have
encountered blind people who not only constantly ask for sighted help,
but expect it. It's really annoying to have to explain and demand
independence from people who are only responding based on past
experience with other blind people. As I keep saying, we can teach
sighted people to treat us as equals and accept our abilities, but if
blind people don't believe this, it negates the work done with our
sighted peers. There was a security guard on my campus who every
freaking time she saw me, she asked if I needed help, and in the
beginning would do the arm grab. I found out that another blind student
on campus frequently requested sighted guides to get from class to
class, which ended up being the job designated to the security office. I
discovered who said person was, and I knew them quite well, and they had
no true reason requesting sighted guide as they could have learned to
get around campus on their own, but they summarily refused to even
consider the idea. Eventually the security guard realized I didn't
require this kind of help and they just greeted me like they did anyone
else when running into me, but based on prior experience, it was assumed
I needed similar help. This is just as much a blind persons fault as it
is a sighted persons.

Trust me, it can be scary doing things independently for anyone, but
when we choose to overcome fears and anxieties, we grow familiar with
negotiating situations on our own. Eventually we become accustomed to
navigating the world nonvisually, and people, not everyone, but many,
observe our independence and will recognize we don't require help all
the time.

However, to make snap judgments and generalizations does nothing to help
us either. I'd also like to point out to those who believe in the all or
nothing method of travel that years ago Dr. Jernigan addressed some
students as to why he chose to use sighted guide in certain situations.
His response can be found on the NFB website. While we should act as
independently as we can, there are times when we should feel no shame in
requesting assistance. It's about efficiency. This is why NFB presidents
use sighted guides during convention so they can efficiently navigate
from place to place especially among so many other people careening
about. It's not used all the time, or most of the time, but it's
available if needed.

That all being said, most of us can operate quite fine on our own. I
don't have the time to wait for a sighted person to help me get stuff
done, nor do I have a sighted person in my life who wants to be at my
beck and call. Independent travel is something that I expect in blind
people, and until we all understand this, we don't have much of a chance
to ever be viewed as equals in society.

Those who know me well, both sighted and blind, know I don't like having
to ask for help for any reason. Sometimes we have no choice in the
matter such as when a health issue is involved, but I don't appreciate
judgmental attitudes from the blind or sighted world, which by the way
is the same world.

I live with my blind husband, and we live on our own. We take the bus to
work, school, the market, doctor visits, etc., we go out to movies and
theatre and restaurants, and we don't have sighted people there to
assist whenever we feel the whim. And when out with sighted people, we
still do things for ourselves such as go to the bathroom, walk, order
food, whatever. I think the more we do things independently, the more we
show people how capable we are.

And when I said classmates let me lead the way in asking for help, I
simply meant that they stopped asking all the time if I needed help. If
I did, I'd ask, and they understood this. I presented myself with
confidence and did what was expected of other classmates. I didn't
expect, or ask for, special treatment unless necessary such as taking
exams accessibly. I negotiated campus with no help, and in fact, usually
knew my way around better than a lot of sighted classmates. Funny story,
while in conversation with fellow classmates, I made a comment about the
Weber Fine Arts building, to which one of my classmates responded by
saying, "I don't know what building that is," and to which I replied,
"It's the building you are sitting in currently." giggle. I figured
school out just like everyone else has too, and I didn't believe myself
less capable or less efficient than anyone else. To be treated as
equals, we have to act and think like we are equal.

We should be expected to do what anyone else is expected to do. I don't
really know why we think we are expected to go beyond those
expectations, within reason of course. I mean, should I start serving
myself at sit-down restaurants because technically a sighted person is
doing it for me. Should I walk everywhere in a city with more than one
million people, because a driver on a bus is sighted after all. I mean,
where is the line drawn for some of us? Apparently our independence is
compromised because we ask for help no matter the situation. We
certainly need to be aware of our independence and how we present
ourselves in public especially if we claim to want equality, but we also
have to live our lives and not to always be making points but for
ourselves. A part of being equals and accepted as such, is to understand
that we can, and will, ask for help at times and there's nothing wrong
with this. It can be a fine balance, but we can't live our life thinking
we can never, ever ask for help, sighted or otherwise, and if we take
help, we've compromised our independence and the independence of blind
people everywhere. I can't do a lot physically on the few occasions I
suffer a low blood pressure, so I may take an arm if available. Since
some may view this as equating to all blind people must need sighted
help, it would be better for me to suffer and struggle around due to
weakness and fatigue? It's ludacris. Or if we are in a situation where
sighted assistance may make for a smoother transaction, we should be
viewed as inefficient just as long as we're viewed as doing it alone?
What's the better image? I'm 30 and no longer have the F-ing time to
constantly have to prove a point, to sighted people or blind people
alike. Judging and assuming come in different forms, let's not forget
this.

Sincerely,
Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
Read my blog at:
http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/

"History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan

Message: 2
Date: Thu, 10 Nov 2011 14:44:05 -0500
From: Jedi <loneblindjedi at samobile.net>
To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Grabbing and streetcrossing help
Message-ID: b77ac139-7925-43a6-9b75-e6551c43e223 at samobile.net
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"; format="flowed"

Bridgit,

I'm with you entirely on the idea that a person, of any sort, walking 
alone should indicate that help is not needed. But I think those 
blindness attitudes tend to erode good sense. And I'm with you that our 
actions mean a lot; we can't claim that we want to be independent 
travelers and ask for a sighted guide everywhere we go. I'm sorry to 
say that this is one of the few situations in which we can't have our 
cake and eat it, too.

Respectfully,
Jedi

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