[nabs-l] Grabbing Etc.

Wed Nov 16 01:57:31 UTC 2011

Hi Arielle,

I completely agree! If I ask someone to go sighted guide or they 
offer and I accept (which doesn't happen often,) and they grab my 
arm, I
take my arm out of their hand by just bringing it around, then 
find their arm and get in the correct position.  I then explain 
to them that how I'm holding them now is the correct sighted 
guide and ask them to let me take their arm next time.  Of 
course, there are some people who just won't hear the correction 
and continue to do it! That's the most annoying thing ever, in my 
opinion! My 7th grade English teacher was one of those, and she 
even did the silent grab one time.  I finally set up a meeting 
with her, my TVI and I to discuss this and the other ways in 
which she was helping me WAY too much.  Then she finally changed 
it.  She sometimes reverted back to the old (as I call it) 
backwards sighted guide, but it was easy for me to correct this.  
I know! I hate the silent grab!

Chris

"The real problem of blindness is not the loss of eyesight.  The 
real problem is the misunderstanding and lack of education that 
exists.  If a blind person has the proper training and 
opportunity, blindness can be reduced to a mere physical 
nuisance."
-- Kenneth Jernigan (President, National Federation of the Blind, 
1968-1986

P.S.  The I C.A.N.  Foundation helps blind and visually impaired 
youth in Maryland say "I can," by empowering them through 
providing assistive technology and scholarships to camps and 
conventions which help them be equal with their sighted peers.  
For more information about the Foundation and to support our 
work, visit us online at www.icanfoundation.info!

Sent from my BrailleNote Apex

 ----- Original Message -----
From: Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com
To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Mon, 7 Nov 2011 21:43:44 -0700
Subject: [nabs-l] Grabbing Etc.

Hi all,
I don't know if any of you can relate to this, but for me, being
grabbed or pulled by the arm or back is more than just a dignity
issue; it's a safety issue as well.  I have always had poor 
balance,
and when someone is putting pressure on one side of my body, or
propelling me from behind, I feel unsafe and unbalanced.  If I 
were to
bump into an obstacle or trip while being pulled this way, I feel 
I
would have a much harder time regaining my balance.  For some 
reason,
many sighted people think leading me this way is helpful, but in 
fact
it's not only unnecessary, but makes safe and efficient travel 
more
challenging for me.  For example, I went on a white-water rafting 
trip
in high school and one of the river guides tried to pull me up 
into
the boat by my arm.  I felt unbalanced and asked him to let go of 
my
arm and let me get into the raft by myself.  The guide told me to 
stop
arguing with him and pulled me up into the boat.  As I was 
getting in,
my foot slipped and I wasn't able to stabilize myself because of 
the
one-sided pressure on my body.  I fell and bruised my leg, and 
was
incredibly annoyed that the guide didn't listen to me.  I also 
feel
very unsafe when people attempt to grab my left arm because I am 
a
left-handed cane user and my cane arc is impaired when they do 
this.
The absolute worst is when someone grabs me without any verbal
communication at all, such as a bus driver who grabbed me by both
shoulders without saying a word because he thought I was going to 
run
into a pole that my cane had just barely cleared.  Needless to 
say, the
silent grab scares me to death!
Because of these experiences, I have learned to dig my feet in 
and
will not follow someone who is grabbing or pulling me, especially 
if
they are holding on to my cane arm.  I will politely ask them to 
let
go, and most people are just shocked that I don't want them to do
that, especially if I have asked them for verbal directions.
Unfortunately, many people think the only way to "help" a blind 
person
is through this kind of physical maneuvering.  Sometimes if I ask
someone for information or directions, they will answer my 
question
and then say, "Do you want me to help you?" I guess implying they 
are
offering to physically lead me there.  I will of course tell them 
they
have already helped me a lot with the directions and that I 
really
appreciate their help and don't need any more.  If someone does 
the
silent grab, or if they refuse to let go after a polite request 
to do
so, then I will gently but firmly disengage my arm.  Fortunately 
this
has been very effective.  If time allows I will give a simple
explanation for not wanting to be grabbed, such as "Please don't 
grab
me-it makes me feel off-balance" or "Please don't grab me-it's 
easier
for me if you just walk beside me" etc.  I do think that most 
people
are just very ignorant and don't necessarily grab out of pity, 
but
because they believe that grabbing is the most effective way to
provide guidance to the blind.  I try to educate them and some
definitely do understand.  I do feel guilty about times when I 
have
snapped at people and not had the time to explain, such as when
crossing a street or getting on a bus.  But even though I feel 
bad, I
don't regret my action because to me, it's a matter of safety 
above
all else.  I've also found that in some circumstances it's 
actually
more efficient to do things independently than to be "helped".  
For
instance, I went to get a pedicure a few weeks ago and the 
pedicurist
insisted on putting my shoes and coat back on me after the 
pedicure
was over.  I tried to politely refuse, but she wouldn't hear it.  
Thing
is, for whatever reason she was very methodical in putting my 
shoes
on, and it took her about twice as long to do it as it would have 
if I
had done it myself.
Incidentally, I've never understood why some people get confused 
about
sighted guide and think the technique is for them to grab my 
elbow and
walk a step behind me.  Even when I teach people the proper way, 
they
will occasionally "get it backwards" and want to grab my elbow
instead.  Isn't it a lot harder to lead or guide someone if 
you're
behind them than if you're in front of them?
Best,
Arielle

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