[nabs-l] Independence and judgment
Chris Nusbaum
dotkid.nusbaum at gmail.com
Sun Nov 20 03:20:27 UTC 2011
Hi Marsha,
Yes, I think we get too judgmental sometimes, and forget that
that's not at all the purpose of our organization. I'd just like
to advise everyone to get all the facts before passing judgment,
if you pass judgment at all, which isn't always a good idea.
Maybe someone has another disability, like Marsha; maybe they
don't have all the skills you have; maybe they just don't like
the stairs or something. Even the best travellers have to ask
people for directions sometimes, and that doesn't make them any
less of an independent person. I recall something that a mentor
of mine, our own Darian Smith, told me at the LAW Program when I
was lost in the Jernigan Institute and had no sighted people to
ask nor was my mom there at the time; perhaps asking questions
and directions of anyone, blind or sighted, makes the asker an
even more independent person, because they're not afraid to speak
up and ask, which is a form of advocating for yourself. At the
time, I didn't understand this and replied, "Huh? But isn't
independence doing things by yourself?" He told me that nobody
can do everything totally independently. "The NFB is big on
making blind people as independent as we can, but we also
understand that you're always going to need to ask for help
sometimes." This made a big impact on me. When I first started
to get involved in the NFB, as I felt at that particular time in
the hallway of the Jernigan Institute, I felt embarrassed about
asking people for directions, as I thought that's not something a
good Federationist should do, and the adults wouldn't want me to
be asking people for help. But what Darian told me made it all
click; yeah, we're going to need to ask help sometimes. It's
just part of life, and if somebody (in the NFB or otherwise)
judges you about it, it's their wrongdoing, not yours.
Chris
"The real problem of blindness is not the loss of eyesight. The
real problem is the misunderstanding and lack of education that
exists. If a blind person has the proper training and
opportunity, blindness can be reduced to a mere physical
nuisance."
-- Kenneth Jernigan (President, National Federation of the Blind,
1968-1986
P.S. The I C.A.N. Foundation helps blind and visually impaired
youth in Maryland say "I can," by empowering them through
providing assistive technology and scholarships to camps and
conventions which help them be equal with their sighted peers.
For more information about the Foundation and to support our
work, visit us online at www.icanfoundation.info!
Sent from my BrailleNote Apex
----- Original Message -----
From: "Marsha Drenth" <marsha.drenth at gmail.com
To: "'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'"
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Mon, 14 Nov 2011 17:32:38 -0500
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Independence and judgment
Bridget,
Very very good post. I do find it amazing that people within our
organization judge. I am too a person who is not only blind, but
I am also
hearing impaired, and have balance issues. Before I was married
to my
current husband, I was at a national convention, I was lost,
stopped someone
for directions. This was Dallas. And yes they were blind too.
But because I
could not find my way, I was judged. I didn't ask for them to
guide me, I
wasn't asking for them to lead me by my hand. Just give me some
general
directions. When I explained I needed the elevator, not the
stairs, again
more judgment. I avoid stairs like the plague, not because I am
blind, but
because I could potentially fall down them. The judgment in our
own
organization is harsher than in the normal sighted society.
Because I am not
a super blindie, and I have to do things the way I do them, I get
shamed
from NFB members. Our organization is not one that just has
blind people in
it, we are now an organization with lots of people with
additional
disabilities. But NO ONE is willing to recognize this, be
sensitive to it,
and accept those people too.
Just two cents!
Marsha
-----Original Message-----
From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org
[mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
Of Bridgit Pollpeter
Sent: Friday, November 11, 2011 3:57 PM
To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Subject: [nabs-l] Independence and judgment
Jedi,
Since you started... This segways nicely into a discussion I've
long
wanted to open up.
First, everyone, blind, sighted, everyone, needs to recognize
that
people need help sometimes. There's nothing wrong with asking
for help,
but we also have to understand that blindness doesn't mean we
need more
help than anyone else. I've always been very independent, and
when I
lost my sight, it really irritated me that so many people thought
I
required so much help. When I was diagnosed with tachycardia and
severe
low blood pressure, it was difficult that there were times I
literally
couldn't do much physically. I've always been very active, and
before my
medications were regulated, I had a lot of difficulty just
walking
because I felt so weak. Requiring assistance to move around had
nothing
to do with my blindness, but I needed assistance because of my
health. I
still have episodes where I feel weak enough to the point where I
may
need an arm to lean on, but personally, I don't take sighted
guide
because of my blindness. And on a side note, when I do need such
assistance, I don't care if the person is sighted or blind, as
long as I
have the support necessary is all I care about. I guess I
shouldn't so
much refer to it as sighted guide but simply a guide or support.
Seeing
as I'm predominantly with my hubby, and he is blind, he is
usually the
one who helps me out during these episodes, which goes to show I
can't
call it sighted guide. Smile.
Now, I agree with you to an extent because I see so many blind
people
complain about society and how we're not treated as equals or
like we
can be independent. All this is said while I observe said people
taking
sighted assistance more than is necessary. I try to not judge
people I
don't know because I have no clue what a persons life is like.
Such as
myself, who when having my weak blood pressure episodes could be
judged
as a blind person always taking assistance, but if you knew me,
you'd
know that my reasoning for a guide of any kind is because of
health
related concerns. But I know plenty of people who have no reason
to use
sighted assistance for every little thing. It's tough to argue
our
independence and capabilities when we rarely choose to truly be
independent.
It makes my life difficult when I have to deal with people who
have
encountered blind people who not only constantly ask for sighted
help,
but expect it. It's really annoying to have to explain and
demand
independence from people who are only responding based on past
experience with other blind people. As I keep saying, we can
teach
sighted people to treat us as equals and accept our abilities,
but if
blind people don't believe this, it negates the work done with
our
sighted peers. There was a security guard on my campus who every
freaking time she saw me, she asked if I needed help, and in the
beginning would do the arm grab. I found out that another blind
student
on campus frequently requested sighted guides to get from class
to
class, which ended up being the job designated to the security
office. I
discovered who said person was, and I knew them quite well, and
they had
no true reason requesting sighted guide as they could have
learned to
get around campus on their own, but they summarily refused to
even
consider the idea. Eventually the security guard realized I
didn't
require this kind of help and they just greeted me like they did
anyone
else when running into me, but based on prior experience, it was
assumed
I needed similar help. This is just as much a blind persons
fault as it
is a sighted persons.
Trust me, it can be scary doing things independently for anyone,
but
when we choose to overcome fears and anxieties, we grow familiar
with
negotiating situations on our own. Eventually we become
accustomed to
navigating the world nonvisually, and people, not everyone, but
many,
observe our independence and will recognize we don't require help
all
the time.
However, to make snap judgments and generalizations does nothing
to help
us either. I'd also like to point out to those who believe in
the all or
nothing method of travel that years ago Dr. Jernigan addressed
some
students as to why he chose to use sighted guide in certain
situations.
His response can be found on the NFB website. While we should
act as
independently as we can, there are times when we should feel no
shame in
requesting assistance. It's about efficiency. This is why NFB
presidents
use sighted guides during convention so they can efficiently
navigate
from place to place especially among so many other people
careening
about. It's not used all the time, or most of the time, but it's
available if needed.
That all being said, most of us can operate quite fine on our
own. I
don't have the time to wait for a sighted person to help me get
stuff
done, nor do I have a sighted person in my life who wants to be
at my
beck and call. Independent travel is something that I expect in
blind
people, and until we all understand this, we don't have much of a
chance
to ever be viewed as equals in society.
Those who know me well, both sighted and blind, know I don't like
having
to ask for help for any reason. Sometimes we have no choice in
the
matter such as when a health issue is involved, but I don't
appreciate
judgmental attitudes from the blind or sighted world, which by
the way
is the same world.
I live with my blind husband, and we live on our own. We take
the bus to
work, school, the market, doctor visits, etc., we go out to
movies and
theatre and restaurants, and we don't have sighted people there
to
assist whenever we feel the whim. And when out with sighted
people, we
still do things for ourselves such as go to the bathroom, walk,
order
food, whatever. I think the more we do things independently, the
more we
show people how capable we are.
And when I said classmates let me lead the way in asking for
help, I
simply meant that they stopped asking all the time if I needed
help. If
I did, I'd ask, and they understood this. I presented myself
with
confidence and did what was expected of other classmates. I
didn't
expect, or ask for, special treatment unless necessary such as
taking
exams accessibly. I negotiated campus with no help, and in fact,
usually
knew my way around better than a lot of sighted classmates.
Funny story,
while in conversation with fellow classmates, I made a comment
about the
Weber Fine Arts building, to which one of my classmates responded
by
saying, "I don't know what building that is," and to which I
replied,
"It's the building you are sitting in currently." giggle. I
figured
school out just like everyone else has too, and I didn't believe
myself
less capable or less efficient than anyone else. To be treated
as
equals, we have to act and think like we are equal.
We should be expected to do what anyone else is expected to do.
I don't
really know why we think we are expected to go beyond those
expectations, within reason of course. I mean, should I start
serving
myself at sit-down restaurants because technically a sighted
person is
doing it for me. Should I walk everywhere in a city with more
than one
million people, because a driver on a bus is sighted after all.
I mean,
where is the line drawn for some of us? Apparently our
independence is
compromised because we ask for help no matter the situation. We
certainly need to be aware of our independence and how we present
ourselves in public especially if we claim to want equality, but
we also
have to live our lives and not to always be making points but for
ourselves. A part of being equals and accepted as such, is to
understand
that we can, and will, ask for help at times and there's nothing
wrong
with this. It can be a fine balance, but we can't live our life
thinking
we can never, ever ask for help, sighted or otherwise, and if we
take
help, we've compromised our independence and the independence of
blind
people everywhere. I can't do a lot physically on the few
occasions I
suffer a low blood pressure, so I may take an arm if available.
Since
some may view this as equating to all blind people must need
sighted
help, it would be better for me to suffer and struggle around due
to
weakness and fatigue? It's ludacris. Or if we are in a situation
where
sighted assistance may make for a smoother transaction, we should
be
viewed as inefficient just as long as we're viewed as doing it
alone?
What's the better image? I'm 30 and no longer have the F-ing time
to
constantly have to prove a point, to sighted people or blind
people
alike. Judging and assuming come in different forms, let's not
forget
this.
Sincerely,
Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
Read my blog at:
http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
"History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan
Message: 2
Date: Thu, 10 Nov 2011 14:44:05 -0500
From: Jedi <loneblindjedi at samobile.net
To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Grabbing and streetcrossing help
Message-ID: b77ac139-7925-43a6-9b75-e6551c43e223 at samobile.net
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"; format="flowed"
Bridgit,
I'm with you entirely on the idea that a person, of any sort,
walking
alone should indicate that help is not needed. But I think those
blindness attitudes tend to erode good sense. And I'm with you
that our
actions mean a lot; we can't claim that we want to be independent
travelers and ask for a sighted guide everywhere we go. I'm
sorry to
say that this is one of the few situations in which we can't have
our
cake and eat it, too.
Respectfully,
Jedi
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