[nabs-l] Body language and facial expressions

Jedi loneblindjedi at samobile.net
Wed Nov 23 01:48:12 UTC 2011


Bridgit,

I would submit that it really doesn't matter whether or not a person 
has mannerisms. The fact is that we're still discriminated against, 
still treated as non-beings by sighted people, have our lives pried 
into by sighted people, have people compliment us for being "normal," 
and experience several other demeaning things that we've all talked 
about here. Sure, a kid who doesn't rock may have more friends, but 
those friends often think we're superhuman or somehow amazing because 
we're so-called "normal." Therefore, I conclude that the only thing we 
really get out of worrying so much about body language and the like is 
added stress from our own self-judgment and the judgment of others in 
the blindness field.

It seems to me that we need a different attitude toward these so-called 
blindisms. I personally think they could be used as a source of 
information. They might signal a need for movement. Maybe they signal 
boredom or excitement. whatever it is, they might serve us by alerting 
us to mind states we are not really aware of. I think this is also the 
case for unconscious self-adapters used by the sighted like twittling 
the thumbs or shaking the leg. I've heard some people suggest that 
people press their eyes because it provides pain relief or because it 
produces inner images that are pretty to look at like stars and such. I 
see nothing wrong with that. But if the person in question doesn't wish 
to do this in public for whatever reason, they can always have their 
cake and eat it too by simply doing the behavior in private.

And about this body language thing we've been hashing out. I'm 
personally horrified and saddened by the idea that we should strive to 
immulate the sighted. There is something to be said for adopting 
culturally appropriate behaviors for the context you are in, but the 
added stress of trying to please others with these behaviors may not be 
worth it. I'd much rather learn about a new behavior and keep it on the 
back burner for when I think I might need it, but focus on 
communicating in the best way i know how. Our multicultural world has 
the benefit of greater acceptance than it used to. For instance, I've 
never heard a Japanese person say nasty things about an American who 
didn't bow upon leaving a shop. While some may think "That American's 
rude," others might realize that Americans don't usually bow as a 
matter of course. In application to a blind person, one might notice 
that we may prefer to turn an ear to them rather than our eyes from 
time to time, but they may also have the sense to realize that turning 
an ear may be one of the many effective methods we have adapted for our 
use in communication. Yes, we should know how to turn our eyes to them, 
but we shouldn't stress out over it and proclaim social gloom and doom 
for those who don't regularly adopt the behavior.

Am I making any sense here? The bottom line for me is this. I think 
that all people could learn to communicate better with each other and 
that blind people certainly have no monopoly on lack of social skills. 
I don't think it's worth the stress to try to fit in the with the 
sighted. I'd rather just communicate in the best way that seems right 
for the moment; this strategy usually works out for me. And i suspect 
it works out for most of us given that the more important forms of body 
language seem to come naturally to us regardless of however we picked them up.

Respectfully,
Jedi



Original message:
> Carly,

> But will that kid get a job? Date? Be accepted by other peers? I'm not
> trying to generalize and say it can never happen because I know people
> with blindisms, and they are active and social, but I know many more who
> aren't. Whether it's right or wrong, this is how the world works, and
> suggesting we create a utopia doesn't help things because outside of
> philosophical discussions, the world isn't going to change much. This
> isn't a defeatist attitude, but a realistic one. Just look at what is
> happening in the world, then tell me a kid can be treated as equal who
> rocks, pokes their eyes and any other blindism. We can't change being
> blind; we can't change what our eyes look like, or how they function,
> but blindisms aren't socially acceptable, and learning to not do these
> behaviors isn't stifling one's inner nature, but it's teaching them
> behaviors that will help them integrate into society.

> Sincerely,
> Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
> Read my blog at:
> http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/

> "History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
> The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan

> Message: 9
> Date: Sat, 19 Nov 2011 13:03:30 -0800
> From: Carly Mihalakis <carlymih at earthlink.net>
> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>         <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>,    "National Association of Blind Students
> mailing
>         list" <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Body language and facial expressions
> Message-ID: <7.0.1.0.2.20111119125543.01e0a1a0 at earthlink.net>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"; format=flowed


> Good afternoon, Ashley I think,

> What's with trying to cram everyone into boxes
> upon which are plastered identifiers like
> "blindness" and "cognitive impairments?" People
> ought to feel they can just do what feels right,
> and comfortable and not be pressured to shead
> some mannerisms, while retaining others. Doncha
> think? And, besides, there are folks starving, in
> this here world so if kid needs to rock, and he
> doesn't happen to have so-called cog native
> impairment, let the kid rock around the whole,
> clock!11/19/2011, Ashley Bramlett wrote:
>> Bridgit, Very well said! Sighted people in a
>> culture learn body language and facial
>> expressions from observing others; our culture
>> emphasises personal space, shaking hands to
>> greet, and eye contact just as some examples.
>> Blind and low vision people won???t see it, but
>> if someone works with us, its still a learned
>> behavior; we just learn in a different way. I
>> think behaviors such as eye contact and shaking
>> hands  are natural since I learned early on as
>> did sighted peers. Once practiced, it became
>> more automatic. I also like your comment that we
>> should try to extinguish behaviors associated
>> with mental and cognitive behaviors. Rocking is
>> one of them. Yet, I think it would be unnatural
>> to learn something now; I could do it, but it
>> would probably be stiffer and not as natural
>> like if I learned gestures. What I do though in
>> a presentation is look around the room from left
>> to right; speakers to do this to get attention
>> and establish themselves before talking to a
>> group; I do it even though I cannot see a lot,
>> especially toward the back of the room. I can
>> also say yes or no with my head because I was
>> taught early on. But other nonverbals such as
>> winking, shrugging shoulders, and becconing with
>> the hand were not taught and I think I'd be a
>> little stiffer and unnatural doing them. Still
>> it would be good to try and learn. Ashley


> _______________________________________________
> nabs-l mailing list
> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for nabs-l:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/loneblindjedi%40samobile.net

-- 
Email services provided by the System Access Mobile Network.  Visit 
www.serotek.com to learn more about accessibility anywhere.





More information about the NABS-L mailing list