[nabs-l] How we appear towards sighted

[Tara Annis]

I do wish more people would think logically and stop basing  their sole judgment of a person's abilities based on how they look.  Yes, the world is cruel, and I hate this reality.  I do believe that more etiquette training needs to be done.  There  are people who really think that one can discern intelligence  solely based on looks, blind are not the only to suffer from this stereotype, think about little people or people in wheelchairs.
 
 I don't care if a blind person chooses to rock and have other blindisms or has   body language comparable to the sighted, but I feel that a blind person should have full knowledge of how the public  views them, as well as all other aspects of the world, if they wish to receive this info. I'm not saying all blind have to learn this, it's a free country, people can choose what they wish to know and learn about.  For those who are interested, though,  make sure they have the same information about  their  environment that the sighted have access to, some of which we can figure out without  sighted assistance, but some of it is impossible to discern without help.  I would like to have more input from a sighted person about what goes on in crowded public places, like the mall or subway, where a lot of nonverbal communication goes on.  For example, I want to know about every passenger on the bus, what facial expression does each one have? are they reading magazines or staring into space?  How many times does each person make eye contact with others? how are they dressed?  This information would help us know how well we fit into the world.  I think  having this info would help boost blind people's self-esteem and social skills.  Maybe an O&M instructor could incorporate this into lessons.
 
One way we can learn more about sighted versus blind perceptions is to ask people who were once sighted and became blind later in life.  Or vice versa, find blind at birth and now sighted, such as Mike May.  Read his book, Crashing Through, where he describes how his perception changed once he regained his sight.  Another  book, Emma and I, I can't remember the author's  full name, I think Shelia something, talks about her being blind from cataracts until she was in her twenties.  She had   an operation that did restore her vision to almost perfect, and she was shocked at her new world.  She describes in vivid detail about how much body language she lacked as a blind person and how much nonverbal input she missed from sighted people. She has written several books in this Emma series that discuss her life.  All these books are on bookshare.

While it is considered taboo to tell people about negative aspects of their appearance, some disabled want to know, and actually consider it more rude to not divulge  info that could make social interaction easier.  For example, I've had deaf friends ask me if their voice sounded different than sighted, and they wanted the whole truth, even if it was negative. So I told them.  They were grateful, since they had all the  info to decide whether  to use their voice in social situations or instead write notes or use sign language.  I have heard of some blind starting to wear sunglasses after they  found out the  number of people who  stared at their eyes, or made negative comments about them, and I've had the opposite blind  find this out but decide not to wear the glasses and ignore people's comments.  The bottom line:  it's all  subjective, whatever makes the individual feel good.  Yet, I still stick with the  argument that to make this decision, whether to  change or not to change, should be made after all  possible info is told to them.