[nabs-l] Body language and facial expressions

[Nimer Jaber]

I'm really behind on emails, and Bridgit, thank you so much for this 
clear post that outlines my feelings so nicely on this point. Excellent 
post!!

Nimer J

On 11/23/2011 7:59 PM, Bridgit Pollpeter wrote:
> Jedi,
>
> I never said blind people who don't exhibit blindisms aren't
> discriminated against and still considered odd. My point is that certain
> blindisms don't help the situation. Blindness itself is an issue that
> the world still doesn't understand, and in my opinion, the
> misunderstanding is in part due to blind people ourselves.
>
> I can't change the minds of every single person who sees and observes
> me. This would be an impossible feat for anyone, disabled or not. I have
> to live my life, and be as independent as I have the potential for, and
> hopefully my actions will speak volumes. Many people will observe this
> in us, but there will always be those who can't see past the blindness
> no matter what we say or do.
>
> Having said all that, in my experience, people who get to know me
> usually end up realizing blindness isn't that big of a deal. And I'm not
> just speaking about close friends and family. I've had instructors,
> classmates and colleagues say that they now realize blindness, while not
> something you wish for, isn't the end of the world; and that learning to
> be independent and efficient without sight doesn't take superhuman
> abilities.
>
> We have a lot of work and much to do, but if we all would take certain
> ideas to heart, perhaps we would see more change in the world in terms
> of attitudes towards blindness. It may be insensitive, and it may be
> wrong, but since the beginning of time humans have judged based on
> appearance; some are more shallow than others. I get what you're saying,
> but try putting that theory into practice. It's not about acting sighted
> or conforming to a dominant standard, which in this case is sight; as
> previously argued, most behaviors like rocking, poking eyes and making
> inappropriate facial expressions isn't specific to blindness. It should
> be curbed no matter if a person has a disability or not. If the behavior
> is not one that can be controlled such as symptoms of Parkinson's or CP,
> that's one thing, but if it's behavior, either learned or developed
> another way, I think we should consider correcting it.
>
> Sorry, but I've been sighted, and to be honest, if I came across a
> person exhibiting some of the behavior I've seen in blind people, I'd
> wonder what the hell was wrong with them. Without the knowledge about
> blindness, what frame of reference do I have? I would wonder the same
> about a sighted person exhibiting the same behavior.
>
> I'm exaggerating my point here to display how many people think. I have
> family members and friends with various disabilities including deafness
> and developmental disabilities. Long before losing my sight, I
> understood a lot about disability, and I think this is what, in part,
> helped me accept blindness so quickly, and embrace the concept of
> complete independence for the blind. Most people, though, aren't armed
> with this knowledge, and all they see is a person exhibiting odd, at
> times anti-social, behavior.
>
> This is an extreme, but you argue that we should be accepted despite any
> behavior exhibited that's out of the norm. Any so called blindisms
> should just be considered normal for that person. While researching a
> few years ago for a paper, I came across a study. A blind student in
> Florida was masturbating during class. No one had ever explained to him
> that just because he couldn't see what others were doing didn't mean
> they couldn't see him. His teacher was blind too, and after testing him,
> the student didn't have other disabilities. This was natural for him
> (yeah, yeah, input joke) and with some lines of logic, he should be left
> alone; why does he have to conform? You will say that this is socially
> unacceptable, and it makes others uneasy. So does severe rocking and eye
> poking. On a philosophical level, what's the difference? I'm not trying
> to equate masturbating to rocking, but based on certain arguments here,
> this student should be allowed to express himself in the manner he sees
> as best. He's not hurting anyone; but he's causing discomfort to others.
> So is the person exhibiting other socially unacceptable behavior.
>
> I'm not condoning this type of behavior, by any means, but to make a
> point, I use this study to see how is it really different, in context to
> this discussion, than other socially unacceptable behaviors that we are
> suppose to just be content with.
>
> And you say it's not worth all the stress to fit into a sighted world.
> What does this mean? Does not integration imply we become a part of the
> social norms? We can't really argue for integration if we simultaneously
> argue to have socially unacceptable behaviors be considered normal and
> acceptable. You can't really have your cake and eat it to on this
> matter. And statements like this also place a divide between us and
> sighted people; we become a different type of human, which I thought is
> exactly what the Federation is fighting against. We're suppose to be
> just like our sighted peers except we may use different tools and
> methods in order to accomplish things. But if we resist any type of
> integration, we go against the grain of this goal.
>
> And what about people like me? I use to be sighted, so what world do I
> fit into? Or those of you with useable vision, where do you fit in?
> Equal means no dividing line, no "us vs. them" mentalities.
>
> So how is it fitting into a "sighted world" when, one, we're suppose to
> be equals, and two, it's behavior found in sighted and blind alike. You
> can't really argue it's fitting into sighty's idea of normal when we've
> already established it's not behavior necessarily specific to blindness.
>
> People should be accepted for themselves, and negative attitudes towards
> disability must change, but certain behavior, whether displayed in
> someone with a disability or not, should probably be corrected if not a
> part of a social norm. We're not speaking about clothing or fashion or
> trends, we're not even talking about diseases like Parkinson's or CP,
> we're addressing behavior picked up one way or another, that can be
> corrected and controlled,  that just isn't accepted by society. It's not
> about fitting into a "sighted world," but it's about fitting into the
> world, period. I'm sick of all this sighted vs. blindness. If we're
> humans who, as  it happens can't use their eyes, why do we constantly
> argue the sight vs. blind point? Yes, we still have a long way to go
> with changing attitudes and mindsets, but insisting there's  a huge
> canyon between us doesn't help the situation. Perhaps the canyon is
> there, and is still vast, because we keep placing distinctions between
> blind and sighted people. Don't whine about equality if you don't think
> we're the same. Using different tools and methods doesn't make us
> different; it's no different than speaking a different language; we're
> still humans. Stop labeling us as different in our language.
>
> Sincerely,
> Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
> Read my blog at:
> http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
>
> "History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
> The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan
>
> Message: 9
> Date: Tue, 22 Nov 2011 20:48:12 -0500
> From: Jedi<loneblindjedi at samobile.net>
> To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Body language and facial expressions
> Message-ID: 56d7f4fb-c166-4a1c-9216-1596de0858ce at samobile.net
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"; format="flowed"
>
> Bridgit,
>
> I would submit that it really doesn't matter whether or not a person
> has mannerisms. The fact is that we're still discriminated against,
> still treated as non-beings by sighted people, have our lives pried
> into by sighted people, have people compliment us for being "normal,"
> and experience several other demeaning things that we've all talked
> about here. Sure, a kid who doesn't rock may have more friends, but
> those friends often think we're superhuman or somehow amazing because
> we're so-called "normal." Therefore, I conclude that the only thing we
> really get out of worrying so much about body language and the like is
> added stress from our own self-judgment and the judgment of others in
> the blindness field.
>
> It seems to me that we need a different attitude toward these so-called
> blindisms. I personally think they could be used as a source of
> information. They might signal a need for movement. Maybe they signal
> boredom or excitement. whatever it is, they might serve us by alerting
> us to mind states we are not really aware of. I think this is also the
> case for unconscious self-adapters used by the sighted like twittling
> the thumbs or shaking the leg. I've heard some people suggest that
> people press their eyes because it provides pain relief or because it
> produces inner images that are pretty to look at like stars and such. I
> see nothing wrong with that. But if the person in question doesn't wish
> to do this in public for whatever reason, they can always have their
> cake and eat it too by simply doing the behavior in private.
>
> And about this body language thing we've been hashing out. I'm
> personally horrified and saddened by the idea that we should strive to
> immulate the sighted. There is something to be said for adopting
> culturally appropriate behaviors for the context you are in, but the
> added stress of trying to please others with these behaviors may not be
> worth it. I'd much rather learn about a new behavior and keep it on the
> back burner for when I think I might need it, but focus on
> communicating in the best way i know how. Our multicultural world has
> the benefit of greater acceptance than it used to. For instance, I've
> never heard a Japanese person say nasty things about an American who
> didn't bow upon leaving a shop. While some may think "That American's
> rude," others might realize that Americans don't usually bow as a
> matter of course. In application to a blind person, one might notice
> that we may prefer to turn an ear to them rather than our eyes from
> time to time, but they may also have the sense to realize that turning
> an ear may be one of the many effective methods we have adapted for our
> use in communication. Yes, we should know how to turn our eyes to them,
> but we shouldn't stress out over it and proclaim social gloom and doom
> for those who don't regularly adopt the behavior.
>
> Am I making any sense here? The bottom line for me is this. I think
> that all people could learn to communicate better with each other and
> that blind people certainly have no monopoly on lack of social skills.
> I don't think it's worth the stress to try to fit in the with the
> sighted. I'd rather just communicate in the best way that seems right
> for the moment; this strategy usually works out for me. And i suspect
> it works out for most of us given that the more important forms of body
> language seem to come naturally to us regardless of however we picked
> them up.
>
> Respectfully,
> Jedi
>
>
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