[nabs-l] asking for advice on problem at school

Fri Feb 10 03:26:33 UTC 2012

    Hi ashley how are you?
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Ashley Bramlett" <bookwormahb at earthlink.net>
To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list" 
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, February 09, 2012 6:42 PM
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] asking for advice on problem at school


> Mark,
> I was going to say the same; sadly, violence is violence and they do not 
> look at the situation-- the fact you are defending yourself. So tell the 
> faculty and administrators; you can also defend yourself but in nonviolent 
> ways like avoiding the bully; telling him to stop; since you cannot see, 
> get friends to tell you if he is coming. Things like that.
> Hope it stops
>
> -----Original Message----- 
> From: Mark J. Cadigan
> Sent: Thursday, February 09, 2012 5:50 PM
> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] asking for advice on problem at school
>
> Hi all,
>
>
>
> I'd just like to comment on Andi's post.
>
>
>
> The times have changed since we were in middle school. Escalating to
> physical violence is an incredibly bad idea in today's hyper sensitive
> society. The teachers will only penalize you for defending yourself; this
> means you have to do so in more creative, non-violent, ways. This is not 
> to
> say that self defense has no place, however, the best self defense is to
> avoid the situation all together.
>
>
>
> Another thing, remember, that you could be charged with a crime, assault,
> for hitting someone else, and don't think the DA won't charge someone who 
> is
> blind. If you hit with anything besides bare hands, or carry or god forbid
> use anything that could be considered a weapon even in self defense, the
> charges get more serious.
>
>
>
> To all middle school and high school students reading this, remember that
> reporting events like the one Chris described is the best option. If you
> report it, and it is documented you report it, the school is liable for
> anything that happens due to there inaction.  So, if this happens to you,
> tell a teacher, tell your parents, and tell the bully to stop. Also, stand
> buy your friends. If someone is bullying your friend, tell them to stop. 
> If
> you watch your buddies back, he will watch yours.
>
>
>
> Keep safe, and watch your 6
>
> Mark
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Andi" <adrianne.dempsey at gmail.com>
> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Thursday, February 09, 2012 5:28 PM
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] asking for advice on problem at school
>
>
>> The only efective way to deal with a bully is to show him or her that you 
>> will not take the crap he or she dishes out.  Depending on the situation 
>> this can be done in different ways but telling the principal or teacher 
>> doesn't do anything except convey to the bully that you cant deal with it 
>> yourself.  This is probably not true but that is how a bully thinks and 
>> usually doesn't give a secont thought to what athorities have to say. 
>> This attitude on the bullies part will only ensight more bullying and it 
>> will get worse.  I spent most of my elementary recess on top of the swing 
>> set because most other kids could not climb up their to get me.  When I 
>> didn't make it up the poles in time I was severely beaten up or had my 
>> face ground in to the dirt.  That treatment started out as simple yet 
>> anoying things like you menchend with the pretsals and yogurt and 
>> escolated to violence.  I diden't fight back because I was told it would 
>> go on my permanent record if I got in trouble.  I told the teachers who 
>> did nothing and told the principal who did call the kids out on it but 
>> that made it worse because the bullies got mad. I tripped one of the 
>> perpetrators with my cane as he was getting off the buss once and he new 
>> I did it on perpous because I winked and smiled malistiously at him.  He 
>> never hirt me again and started defending me against other bullies.  It 
>> is not always that simple though and sometimes requires more 
>> confrentation. However sometimes you can avoid confrentation all together 
>> by appearing tough.  I joind the wrestling team when I was in seventh 
>> grade and won a lot of matches.  Word spread about the tough blind chick 
>> wrestler, and people stopped messing with me.  That is people who were 
>> not on the team. My team mates were not happy about having a female on 
>> the team and tride to brake my nec with illegal moves and tripping me 
>> when we did our laps on the stairs.  Their was nothing I could do except 
>> beet them up and their were to many of them for that to work so I had to 
>> endure it, when they saw I was going on with my life despite their 
>> sabotage atempts and becoming a better athleet because of it many of the 
>> main offenders quit the team by the time I reached highschool.  Another 
>> bully I simply yelld at and he was so shocked the blind girl new who he 
>> was and what he was doing he stopped right then and their.  There is no 
>> telling what will make a particular bully stop harassing you but two 
>> things are sertain telling on him or her will only make it worse and you 
>> just have to stand up to them in some way shape or form.  If you can 
>> start with as little of confrentation nesesary to make your point, but if 
>> it doesn't work you have to escalate the comebacks. Sometimes a simple 
>> clever comment will do it but sometimes more is needed. I know the saying 
>> two rongs don't make a right and that is fine and dandy in a perfict 
>> world but it doesn't apply to the real world.  Of course you shouldn't be 
>> a bully yourself but if you don't defend yourself nothing can help you. 
>> I wish some one would have told me that when I was younger it would have 
>> saved a lot of heart ake and bodily damage.
>> -----Original Message----- 
>> From: Chris Nusbaum
>> Sent: Wednesday, February 08, 2012 4:15 PM
>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] asking for advice on problem at school
>>
>> Good point.  He's known to be a pain in the butt throughout the
>> school.  So, I don't think it was just me, although this was a
>> "joke" on the "blind guy," but he's probably pulling the same
>> pranks on others.  I just hope that whatever happens to him after
>> this incident will stop him from doing anything like this to
>> anyone, not just me.
>>
>> Chris
>>
>> "The real problem of blindness is not the loss of eyesight.  The
>> real problem is the misunderstanding and lack of education that
>> exists.  If a blind person has the proper training and
>> opportunity, blindness can be reduced to a mere physical
>> nuisance."
>> -- Kenneth Jernigan
>>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com
>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>> Date sent: Sat, 4 Feb 2012 14:34:19 -0700
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] asking for advice on problem at school
>>
>> One more thing-I don't think these kinds of things are just about
>> blindness.  While your bully might be playing tricks on you that
>> take
>> advantage of your blindness, he might easily be playing different
>> kinds of jokes on other kids.  He should definitely get in
>> trouble, but
>> what he's doing to you isn't necessarily worse than what he might
>> do
>> to other kids.  That is, unless he's tripping you or otherwise
>> threatening your physical safety.  If it goes from pranking you
>> to
>> harming you, you will need to get more adults involved.
>> Arielle
>>
>> On 2/4/12, Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com> wrote:
>> I agree about having friends watch your back.  The most
>> effective way
>> to keep from being picked on by this particular guy again is
>> simply to
>> avoid him-try not to sit at his lunch table or come in contact
>> with
>> him in other ways.  Your friends should be able to help you
>> accomplish
>> this.
>> Also, if you try not to give him opportunities to tease you, and
>> just
>> give him as little reaction as possible when he does pull
>> something,
>> he should soon get bored and stop pranking you.  These kinds of
>> people
>> thrive on attention.  Confronting him about what he did will
>> likely
>> just egg him on.
>> Arielle
>>
>> On 2/3/12, Dave Webster <dwebster125 at comcast.net> wrote:
>> That's pretty bad putting your bad of pretzels in your water.
>> Hopefully
>> it
>> was just one of those small individual sixed bags and not the
>> really bit
>> ones.  I'd be sad if someone did that especially if it was a big
>> bag of
>> them.
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org
>> [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>> Behalf
>> Of Nicole B.  Torcolini at Home
>> Sent: Friday, February 03, 2012 5:10 PM
>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] asking for advice on problem at school
>>
>> This is not the kind of thing that you put in an IEP.
>>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Hope Paulos" <hope.paulos at gmail.com
>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>> Sent: Wednesday, February 01, 2012 4:48 PM
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] asking for advice on problem at school
>>
>>
>>    Hi Chris.  I'm assuming you're in high school..  I'd go to
>> both your
>> principal and your guidance counselor.  I wouldn't talk to him
>> directly--
>> I
>>
>> think he'd get more dicipline if you had the principal talk to
>> him.  I'd
>> also bring it up during your IEP/PET.
>> HTH
>> Hope and Beignet
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Beth" <thebluesisloose at gmail.com
>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>> Sent: Wednesday, February 01, 2012 6:54 PM
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] asking for advice on problem at school
>>
>>
>> I knew this kid, speaking of criminals who were playground and
>> school
>> bullies, who was always harassing me, got mein trouble at lunch
>> one day
>> in
>>
>> elementary school, and later went on to rape somebody and go to
>> jail for
>> it.
>> Beth
>>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: Desiree Oudinot <turtlepower17 at gmail.com
>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>> Date sent: Wed, 1 Feb 2012 18:41:07 -0500
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] asking for advice on problem at school
>>
>> When I was in elementary school, I had kids stealing books from
>> me,
>> throwing erasers in my hair, pulling chairs out from under me,
>> you
>> name it, they did it.  The worst part was that most times, my
>> teachers
>> were right there, and refused to do anything about it, because
>> they
>> too were uncomfortable with my blindness, so why should they
>> intervene? I say this because it wasn't so long ago that this
>> happened
>> to me.  I grew up in the 90's, before bullying was the huge deal
>> it is
>> now, but still close enough to the events of Columbine that it
>> wasn't
>> completely unheard of either.  And it was as "unacceptable" then
>> as it
>> is now.  Yes, I put unacceptable in quotes, because guess what,
>> it
>> happens every day and so little of it is actually dealt with.
>> Meanwhile, things that are no real problem at all are resulting
>> in
>> criminal records, such as a case I heard about recently where a
>> boy
>> gave his friend a hug in school and was charged with sexual
>> harassment.  I forget their exact ages, but they were young,
>> elementary
>> school age.  And yet, kids are driven to suicide, depression,
>> drugs,
>> and every other dysfunction in the book, because they're bullied
>> mercilessly every day and no one will do anything about it.
>> Why do I say all this? I say it because I hope your school isn't
>> like
>> mine was.  I hope that someone in authority actually cares.  I
>> hope that
>> it doesn't escalate, because most kids have a cruel streak.  I
>> think
>> it's true what they say about the impulsiveness of
>> adolescents--it's
>> human nature to be cruel, and at that age, most of us haven't
>> learned
>> how to control those impulses or aggressions, making them the
>> most
>> prone not only to selfishness and thoughtlessness, but to almost
>> animal rage, not to mention an inability to see beyond their own
>> actions to how they might be affecting others.  My point is,
>> people
>> like this have to be stopped.  Perhaps if something can get
>> through to
>> them while they're still young and impressionable, they might
>> not grow
>> up to be tomorrow's criminals.  Or maybe they will, who knows.
>> But I've
>> seen enough to know what usually happens in these situations,
>> even if
>> it was 15 years ago; and, in saying that, I hope things have
>> evolved
>> at least a little bit since then.  It makes me sick to read
>> messages
>> like this.  I hope for your sake that these small actions do not
>> go
>> untouched.  Right now this kid is probably testing the waters,
>> seeing
>> just how much he can get away with.  If he can steal a pack of
>> gum, so
>> to speak, he may try to steal a candy bar next, then a bag of
>> chips,
>> and on and on it goes, you get the picture.
>>
>> On 2/1/12, Joshua Lester <jlester8462 at students.pccua.edu> wrote:
>> Chris, I know what you're going through.
>> I had a girl, put a dead frog in my shirt, as we were playing
>> outside,
>> (I was in elementary school, when that happened.)
>> Go to your principal, and he/she should do something.
>> This stuff has got to stop!
>> If they don't do anything, go in front of the schoolboard!
>> Blessings, Joshua
>>
>> On 2/1/12, Chris Nusbaum <dotkid.nusbaum at gmail.com> wrote:
>> Hi everyone,
>>
>> I had a problem at school today that I'd like to get your
>> thoughts on as to what I should do next.  Today during lunch,
>> another kid at my table dumped his bag of pretzels into my water
>> bottle without my knowing; he must have thought it was some kind
>> of funny prank.  Fortunately, I was sitting next to a good
>> friend
>> of mine, who told me about this.  Even after multiple people
>> commented negatively about what he did, he said nothing.
>>
>> Variations on this have happened before with this same kid as
>> the
>> perpetrater; only once before today this school year and 3 times
>> last year.  The one time something like this happened this year,
>> he put his dirty napkin in my Yogurt cup (after I had finished
>> eating the Yogurt) without saying anything.  The first time
>> (with
>> the napkin,) I realized that this had happened as I was getting
>> my trash together to throw it away.  Knowing who did it, since
>> he'd done this kind of thing before last year, I said, "(Insert
>> name,) why is your napkin in my Yogurt?" Knowing that he had
>> been
>> caught, he replied, "Oh...  sorry." I then talked to the lunch
>> lady who is in charge of supervising all of us in the lunchroom.
>> She said she would talk to him.  I wasn't there when she did,
>> but
>> apparently she had, as the problem (for about a month and a
>> half)
>> had been resolved...  that is, until today.
>>
>> I feel that this is a person taking advantage of my blindness
>> and
>> playing a "prank" on me knowing that I won't catch him.  So,
>> what
>> do you think I should do next? Should I go to our principal?
>> Should I talk to him directly? Any suggestions would be greatly
>> appreciated!
>> Thanks,
>>
>> Chris
>>
>> "The real problem of blindness is not the loss of eyesight.  The
>> real problem is the misunderstanding and lack of education that
>> exists.  If a blind person has the proper training and
>> opportunity, blindness can be reduced to a mere physical
>> nuisance."
>> -- Kenneth Jernigan
>>
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