[nabs-l] Sex Education Curriculum
Valerie Gibson
valandkayla at gmail.com
Fri Jul 13 00:55:00 UTC 2012
I think this is a good topic for the list, if a bit crudely done. I mean we hear about teen pregnancies all the time, which would lead one to believe that teens, more than ever, are pressured into having sex before their ready. On the college front, well, for the most part it's a given that college kids are going to have sex. Not true for everyone, i know; I put myself in the the "not true for everyone" category. However, while i'm not interested in having sex until i'm married, the whole concept of sex and romance is curious to me.
The way i see it is: people have been having sex for ages, so it can't be too difficult, and i'm sure people just would wing it most of the time. I think sex and all that it entails is genetically coded into us, as with other animals. Dogs or parrots don't have a sex ED class, and we're supposedly smarter, so how hard can it be to know what to do when the time comes. :P okay granted those animals can see…
not to sound like a total snob here but: there are people i know who only know how to make microwave or frozen dinners and don't really get around by themselves, yet they manage sex. This is not a dig at anyone who may fit this category. i'm just making a point that i don't think there's much skill involved as the media or books may make us think. I think that's all in our heads.
I dunno, maybe 'm missing the point.
going to end this before i step on someone's toes now.
On Jul 12, 2012, at 7:41 PM, Anjelina wrote:
> While Brandon's descriptions were vivid, I believe it's best to call body parts by their proper names and his points are quite realistic.
> I'm not sure if this discussion is appropriate for the list, but it is most certainly something which should be further explored.
>
> -----Original Message----- From: Humberto Avila
> Sent: Thursday, July 12, 2012 8:20 PM
> To: 'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Sex Education Curriculum
>
> Dear Brandon,
>
> Thank you for your contributions to this topic and I agree about 70% of the
> things you've said. However, with this one, I think you went so, so
> explicit. Not even books on Web Braille have the specific description like
> that, even if it says, "Explicit descriptions of sex." I'm not sure this
> explicit language is ever appropriate for any NFBNet list serve what so
> ever. I'm not stopping you, but please be a little extra careful when you
> post these things. I understand the P word on male and the v word on
> females, so why use it here?
>
> Sincerely,
> Humberto
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
> Of Brandon Keith Biggs
> Sent: Thursday, July 12, 2012 5:07 PM
> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Sex Education Curriculum
>
> Is talking enough though? I know I would benefit from hearing someone talk
> about their romantic and sexual experiences, but what about actually seeing
> a naked woman or man? It's kind of nasty to have your first glimpse of a
> man's peaness right before he's ready to stick it in you... Same with a guy,
>
> it's kind of nasty to see a vagina for the first time before you're supposed
>
> to stick your peaness into it...
> We were told lots about date rape and whatnot in school. I had a blind
> girlfriend who knew nothing about the hymen and she had no idea that having
> sex for a virgin woman could be painful and bloody. What if her first sexual
>
> encounter was a guy who didn't know about the hymen either? Either he'd get
> scared and turned off because of all the blood, or she screams and he's like
>
> a quarter in and she says that it hurts to go any farther.
> (New advertisement for birth control!)
> Thanks,
>
> Brandon Keith Biggs
> -----Original Message----- From: Desiree Oudinot
> Sent: Thursday, July 12, 2012 4:46 PM
> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Sex Education Curriculum
>
> Ok, now I can understand where you're coming from. But the kind of
> thing you speak of where blind people just grab on someone's boobs
> sounds like perhaps they have another disability as well. That's a
> whole other can of worms. But I still stand by what I said that a
> separate curriculum doesn't need to be made just for the blind. What I
> do believe, however, is that perhaps in summer workshops about job
> searching and resume building and things like that, these topics
> should be discussed. Social norms and sexual expression are important
> topics, and maybe if everyone in the room was blind, it would make it
> more beneficial. Maybe the class could even be taught by a blind
> psychologist or social worker, if one is available, for some
> first-hand experience and knowledge.
>
> On 7/12/12, Brandon Keith Biggs <brandonkeithbiggs at gmail.com> wrote:
>> Hello,
>> Again, we're assuming that a blind person knows what a kiss is in the
>> first
>>
>> place, we're assuming that they know that you're supposed to touch the
>> other
>>
>> person when they kiss and we're also asuming that they know that kissing
>> can
>>
>> be more than a brush of the lips.
>> I didn't realize the last 2 till I started reading books. The first time I
>> read a graphical description of a French kiss I about through down my PDA
>> I
>>
>> was like, That's gross!!!
>> I wasn't able to feel the passion and emotion put into the kiss and how
>> was
>>
>> I supposed to know that the tongue played a role in much of kissing?
>> It reminds me of another book I read where a robot was going through a
>> love
>>
>> scene and he was doing what seemed to please the woman till the woman
>> stuck
>>
>> her tongue in his ear. He jumped up and started screaming because that was
>> just so unexpected.
>> Blind kids who don't read are at a total disadvantage when it comes to
>> kissing for the first time, because they don't really know what entails.
>> Of
>>
>> course they can learn through experience, but I know for me personally,
>> learning through experience has really turned me off of kissing and
>> romantic
>>
>> encounters altogether. I had to get used to the fact that, yes, this is
>> what
>>
>> people do and yes, that's a way to show affection.
>> On another note, when I first felt what a naked woman looked like, I
>> thought
>>
>> it was pretty gross as well! Who knew they were that harry? I thought
>> women
>>
>> didn't grow hair on their body? It's only been through time that I've come
>> to realize the beauty in mail and female bodies and it has been my active
>> exploration of romance that I've found the beauty in many of the nasty
>> things that are a part of romance.
>> It's an uncomfortable subject that most people aren't really willing to
>> talk
>>
>> about, let alone teach and I think much of us blind folks are really
>> delayed
>>
>> when it comes to these romantic encounters. (Making out for the first time
>> at 22? I'm 20 and still haven't ever had a good kiss, not seeing a naked
>> woman till I was 17, not knowing where the umbilical chord is located?
>> I've
>>
>> never looked at porn and goodness knows I've tried, not knowing that
>> breasts
>>
>> are private on a woman...)
>> Yes I talked to a TVI who had to tell her student to stop feeling women's
>> boobs, because no one would stop him. "He's blind and he can't see me,
>> plus
>>
>> it feels good, so I'll playfully bat him away..."
>> Ladies does that sound very attractive, having a blind guy touch your
>> breasts in greeting? And if you got into a relationship he wouldn't just
>> touch yours, he'd touch everyone's?
>> Parents often have a hard time with teaching their blind kids how to play,
>
>> I
>>
>> don't think there's going to be much teaching about love or sex in that
>> household.
>> Thanks,
>>
>> Brandon Keith Biggs
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Desiree Oudinot
>> Sent: Thursday, July 12, 2012 3:32 PM
>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Sex Education Curriculum
>>
>> Hi Brandon,
>> Again, you're making a lot of valid points, but I have to question one
>> statement you made concerning seeing couples making out and all that.
>> Sighted people don't just watch what's being done and then
>> automatically do it right 100% of the time, either. In fact, with sex
>> there is no right or wrong, just what turns each individual on.
>> Learning what that is in each new relationship is like driving a new
>> car. You may know the rules of the road, but depending on the size of
>> the car, the speed you're going, how much traffic is on the road, and
>> other factors, you're going to have to navigate with more or less
>> caution each time. Only by mastering each route as you become more
>> comfortable with it can you fall into a pattern and stick with it. But
>> if you're used to driving on quiet country roads, and then all of a
>> sudden you move to New York City, you have to completely change your
>> approach. Do you see where my analogy is heading? It's not sight or
>> lack thereof that determines how much pleasure one can receive
>> intimately. It's the individuals in question, their level of
>> attraction, and how well they can communicate with each other to say
>> what feels good and what doesn't. Because let's face it, there's a lot
>> of feeling. If we spent all our time studying and copying others, we
>> would all enjoy the same things done the exact same way. And, as I was
>> starting to say in the beginning of my message, practice makes
>> perfect. No one knows for sure what works and what doesn't the first
>> few times, or the first few times in each successive relationship.
>> Also, I forgot to address something you said in your first message
>> concerning buying condoms. Honestly, sighted people have anonnymity
>> when they do this. Whether a blind person knows what kind they want or
>> not, they have to face the embarrassment of going up to the counter,
>> asking for assistance, and then having to tell the clerk what they
>> want. Unfortunately, there's just no way around that, so either way we
>> lose on that scale. Maybe ordering them online could be an option if
>> people don't want to take that route. Frankly, when I was a teenager,
>> I wouldn't have felt comfortable with that either.
>>
>> On 7/12/12, Ashley Bramlett <bookwormahb at earthlink.net> wrote:
>>> Joshua,
>>> Nope; we are at a disadvantage in learning about sex. I think this
>>> survey
>>> is a good idea.
>>> Without any vision, perhaps you don't realize how visual stuff is and
>>> what
>>> you are missing. Sex is portrayed in videos and pictures. Sighted kids
>>> learn
>>>
>>> from tv, movies, books and magazines. We do not see those pictures.
>>> I remember this sex stuff as part of health class. We did not discuss
>>> anything controversial. We just learned about the body parts and
>>> functions;
>>>
>>> however, it was kind of confusing without the visual pictures.
>>> Come on, even if you wait til marriage, do you really want your wife
>>> teaching you basic stuff about this activity?
>>> Also, books do not mean much without a reference explaining the act. I
>>> know
>>>
>>> from experience. When a book says a certain term, I had no clue what it
>>> meant without looking it up! I won't get into details other than to say I
>>> know less about sex than my peers my age.
>>>
>>> Ashley
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: Joshua Lester
>>> Sent: Thursday, July 12, 2012 12:10 PM
>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Sex Education Curriculum
>>>
>>> Hi, Amber!
>>> You're right!
>>> BTW, I like the lyrics in your signature!
>>> That's one of my favorite songs!
>>> Welcome to the list!
>>> Blessings, Joshua
>>>
>>> On 7/12/12, Herrin, Amber R. <herrinar at muohio.edu> wrote:
>>>> Dear Joshua,
>>>>
>>>> I have to agree with you here! For me, the idea of knowing about sex,
>>>> before I'm sharing it with my husband, is kind of...unnecessary, I
>>>> guess?
>>>> Maybe the wrong answer, and I understand that not everyone believes you
>>>> should wait until marriage as I do, but I think that being blind doesn't
>>>> prevent us from finding out about it the same way sighted people
>>>> do-experiment (isn't that what most people do anyway?) or read books
>>>> written
>>>> on the topic (how confusing can text be?)
>>>>
>>>> Amber R. Herrin
>>>> Assistive Technology Trainer in Training: 2012
>>>> Mobile: (513) 593-5855
>>>> E-mail: herrinar at muohio.edu
>>>> "It doesn't matter what you've heard
>>>> Impossible is not a word
>>>> It's just a reason
>>>> For someone not to try
>>>>
>>>> Everybody's scared to death
>>>> When they decide to take that step
>>>> Out on the water
>>>> It'll be alright
>>>>
>>>> Life is so much more
>>>> Than what your eyes are seeing
>>>> You will find your way
>>>> If you keep believing"
>>>> -Kutless "What Faith Can Do"
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] on
>>>> Behalf
>>>> Of Joshua Lester
>>>> Sent: Wednesday, July 11, 2012 9:35 PM
>>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Sex Education Curriculum
>>>>
>>>> I personally did fine, in those courses, in school, without the new
>>>> proposed
>>>> curriculum, that they're wanting.
>>>> I don't see the need for one, because who really wants to know, what's
>>>> being
>>>> shown, in those slides?
>>>> Good grief!
>>>> Blessings, Joshua
>>>>
>>>> On 7/11/12, David Andrews <dandrews at visi.com> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> I have been asked to circulate the following:
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Dave
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Dear NFB Member,
>>>>>> The National Federation of the Blind has been gracious enough to help
>>>>>> us with a current project.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> We are currently seeking your opinion in a survey that will help us
>>>>>> write a curriculum for students with low vision and blindness in the
>>>>>> area of sex education. Currently no curriculum exists for students
>>>>>> with low vision and blindness that reflect current education
>>>>>> standards. Young people, educators, and professionals have all
>>>>>> indicated that there is a desperate need for such a curriculum.
>>>>>> We want your voice to impact our work!
>>>>>> Please take the time to fill out the survey at the link found below:
>>>>>> <https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/sexeducationsurvey>https://www.surveym
>>>>>> onkey.com/s/sexeducationsurvey
>>>>>>
>>>>>> <https://maverick.hec.ohio-state.edu/exchweb/bin/redir.asp?URL=https:/
>>>>>> /www.surveymonkey.com/s/sexeducationsurvey>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Thank you for your time and consideration of this project!
>>>>>> Tiffany Wild, Mollie Blackburn, Stacy Kelly, and Caitlin Ryan
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Thank you,
>>>>>> Mika Baugh
>>>>>> National Federation of the Blind
>>>>>> 200 East Wells Street
>>>>>> at Jernigan Place
>>>>>> Baltimore, MD 21230
>>>>>> P: (410) 659 9314 ext. 2371
>>>>>> E: <mailto:mbaugh at nfb.org>mbaugh at nfb.org
>>>>>> W: <http://www.nfb.org>www.nfb.org
>>>>>>
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>>>>>
>>>>
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