[nabs-l] Sex Education Curriculum

[Loren]

These types of question are also aked by sighted individuals.  Granted, the
answers an solutions are different, but blindness has nothing to do with
these questions.  They are a natural part of growing up and discovering what
attracts you to someone.  



-----Original Message-----
From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
Of Brandon Keith Biggs
Sent: Thursday, July 12, 2012 4:29 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Sex Education Curriculum

Josh, frankly that's very dangerous and I'm scared for you. Not knowing what
the stuff I described below feels like is analogous to not knowing what it
is in the first place.
I do agree that sex ed is totally inadequate for the school system and I'm
sorry if someone disagrees with me, but I think that if someone believes sex
should not be taught as extensively as math, they are refusing to be human.
We are animals and our goal in life is to grow up, have sex, make babies,
rays those babies and die.
What separates us from our cats and dogs is the fact that we can learn
skills in order to make our 3 stages more enjoyable. It's a crime to say we
should be abstinent and it's going against everything we are. We are one
third sexual beings and today we just ignore that one third of ourselves.
I once read a book by Margret Weis that talked about a group of people who
celebrated their bodies, loved pleasure and they even used condoms as
ornaments on their Christmas trees. These people were the most happy of
everyone in the book and the particular character was the smartest in the
book.
It's my opinion that there should be a new section that goes along with
reading writing and arithmetic that is romance. With divorce raits being
around 50% I think that's a true indication that we've got a problem. One
can say learning about sex is gross, it's something that should be avoided
and at all costs it should not be promoted among our kids! But the numbers
are out and glairing:
"The marriage breakup rate in America for first marriage is 41% to 50%; the
rate after second marriage is from 60% to 67% and the rate in America for
3rd marriage are from 73% to 74%."
http://www.divorcestatistics.info/divorce-statistics-and-divorce-rate-in-the
-usa.html
If that's not a problem, I don't know what is.

Sophie, what if you were a gay child who was blind? How would you understand
how to express yourself? How would you be able to find people who understood
you if you didn't know what to look for? Especially if goodness forbid you
were put into a conservative household?
I shutter to think how horrible that would be.

A couple kissing in front of you may be gross, touching a panes with hurpies
may be gross, seeing a gay couple in skirts may be gross, but it's
important!
It's part of growing up and it's something that will leave a child
developmentally delayed if not addressed.

My mom has been good and tells me about the couple making out in front of
their apartment building and how passionate they are:
"His right hand is around her back and his left hand is under her hair
cupping her head. They are so close together that there is no room between
them. Her hands are on his shoulders and they are so in love that they come
up for air and have to go back in for more. When one try's to go, they get
pulled back into the other's embrace for one more kiss and that kiss turns
into a lot more than that one kiss. Now the guy has his hands around her
back and he's stroking her back while they're kissing..."

It's really important to know details like that, his hand is between her
hair and neck, what pose they are in, how they are holding each other, how
they are acting, so we can copy in our relationships. We are blind and don't
know any of that stuff. How are we supposed to know what a good bye kiss
looks like? How are we supposed to know how far to go when we're on the bus?

How are we supposed to know how far we're to go in the movie theater? At
some point it becomes a matter of legality and we are blissfully unaware.

If sex is put into biology it's reduced to a robotic function:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joIYo0g7HUw
Sex is definitely not robotic! (I wouldn't want to make sex to a robot...)
It's emotional and so much more than just a biological function. That is
what makes us different than our dog or rabbet.
This is why I believe sex and romance should be put into a totally different
class of their own.

What I think the blind class should focus on is more hands on mottles, but
most importantly, how to read and give queues and expressions that signify
sexual interest.
How do you flirt? I've yet herd a good answer from a blind person on that
question.
How do I get a date for the prom? This is a question I've heard way too many
times from different blind teens in high school.
How do I ask a person out? Goodness knows this haunted my middle school
years.
How do I tell a woman she's beautiful through my face? Any blind guys want
to take this one?
How do I know she's flirting with me? This could be important sometime...
How do I have a chance with a girl who's playing hard to get? I can't even
find her!
What kind of touching is permitted when and where? You didn't tell me that
spot was private...!

These are the problems that plague the blind community and they are what I
think the curriculum should focus on, above and beyond the sex/romance
class.
Thanks,

Brandon Keith Biggs
-----Original Message-----
From: Desiree Oudinot
Sent: Thursday, July 12, 2012 1:34 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Sex Education Curriculum

Hi,
Brandon, I couldn't agree more with your post. Very well said. but I have to
say that it's not just blind people who aren't taught these things. While
sighted people may be more exposed to sex from watching people make out or
get physical, and this could even include their parents, sex ed curriculums
in general aren't exactly top notch. Most are abstinence only, with a
distinct slant towards the doom and gloom side of things. It makes
everything risque for kids who are saying, "what's the big deal?" And
honestly, if they take the right precautions, they may be right. Have any of
you ever checked out avert.org? It's an Aids charity which has a wealth of
information directed at teens. There are stories about teens' first sexual
experiences. While some do indeed end in heartbreak or STD's, there are
plenty of others who attest to the fact that, while relationships don't have
to last forever, teens can be content with their sexuality, their choices
and their feelings. There are people who have sex at a young age who don't
regret it, who don't live in crappy apartments with rats crawling up the
walls while they prostitute themselves to support the baby they made at 14.
So, in high school and younger, lots of misinformation flies from one
inexperienced ear to another, and that's how people not only face
consequences when they experiment, but also harbor guilt and shame when they
feel they have no one they can turn to. Their friends may have steered them
in the wrong direction with outright lies, however well-intentioned they may
have been, and parents are often so uncomfortable with seeing their children
as sexual beings that they never do much besides mumble something about the
birds and the bees, and then, in a much more emphatic voice, say, JUST DON'T
DO IT! Well, we all know how well that kind of thing works most of the time!
And the schools are basically doing the same thing by teaching abstinence
only, when you think about it.
Now, how does blindness factor into this? Truthfully, in an educational
sense, it doesn't, in my opinion. Blind people are experiencing the same
feelings and desires as sighted people. They talk to their friends, whether
they're blind or sighted, about these topics just as sighted people talk to
other sighted people about them.
Blind people watch movies where sex and masturbation are discussed or acted
out, and with described movies, while the describer isn't going to go into
explicit detail, they will say something about the activity being discussed.
Let's also not forget that partially sighted people are probably going to
pick up a Playboy or watch porn at some point.
There's still the same danger of misinformation, and the same parental
reluctance to discuss these topics. the only slight difference may be that
parents may balk more at the idea of their blind child having sex than they
would at their sighted child doing the same thing. I speak from personal
experience on this one--my parents used to tell me I shouldn't have sex
because I was blind, not so much because of the physical act but because of
the fact I could get pregnant, and God forbid a blind person should become a
parent.
In summation, I don't think a separate curriculum needs to be written up for
blind people about this sensitive subject. For one thing, blindness doesn't
mean you have to do things differently, and I feel that the blind are
already singled out enough that trying to alter the sex ed curriculum for us
would just lead to even more awkwardness and embarrassment. Sex ed
curriculums need to become more inclusive in general, and the teachers who
teach them need to make an effort not to let their personal feelings and
biases get in the way. If a teacher can't do that, perhaps they shouldn't be
handling the material. If psychologists and others in the helping profession
must remain objective about their clients and work, so too should teachers.
It's sex ed itself that needs an overhaul, not nit picking at something
that's way far from the root of the problem.

On 7/12/12, Joshua Lester <jlester8462 at students.pccua.edu> wrote:
> Brandon, the stuff you mentioned, is something that I'm glad that I 
> don't see.
> JMHO!
> Blessings, Joshua
>
> On 7/12/12, Brandon Keith Biggs <brandonkeithbiggs at gmail.com> wrote:
>> Hello,
>> Sighted people are exposed to sex all the time, haven't you heard of 
>> playboy
>>
>> or penthouse? Also, what about those people making out on the bus? Or 
>> the gay couple walking down the sidewalk in skirts and bikini? All 
>> that we miss
>>
>> because we're blind.
>> Books are grate, but you can only learn so much from a manual. 
>> Sighted kids
>>
>> get pictures, we should get to feel. Also, how is a blind person 
>> supposed to
>>
>> know they have an STD if they have never felt one? How do they know 
>> it's not
>>
>> just a cut or dehydration?
>> Sighted people are given extensive viewings of the peaness and vagina 
>> in class or in pictures, why can't blind people get the same?
>> Frankly I believe that the art of giving pleasure has become such a 
>> suppressed skill that people have even resorted to substance abuse to 
>> obtain
>>
>> pleasure. Our bodies were meant to give us pleasure, why aren't we 
>> taught to
>>
>> utilize these pleasure factories? What's the meaning of life? To love 
>> and be
>>
>> happy! Why aren't we taught to be happy, to give pleasure, to love 
>> our selves in school?
>> It's a fundamental wrong that I find is a crime against the words 
>> human beings, but that's kind of a different issue.
>> But if this curriculum is any bit good, teachers will adopt it 
>> instead of the droll thing they have now.
>>
>> btw what about feeling a condom, diaphragm or dental dam? How is a 
>> blind person supposed to know what one looks like if they haven't 
>> felt one or tried it on? Also, how does a blind person shop for
contraception's?
>> Me: "Next on my list is condoms." Walgreens guy: "OK, what brand do 
>> you want? Durex, Trojan, Crown, Kimono..." Me: "Uh, what's your
favorite?"
>> Walgreens guy: "Most people get Trojan, what size do you want? We've 
>> got small, medium, large and extra large. We've also got narrow and wide.
>> Here
>> are some flavors as well..."
>>
>> That's just a wall greens guy who is comfortable, what if it's one of 
>> the really shy ladies who doesn't speak English? Sighted people can 
>> be unobtrusive and just buy the condom or diaphragm along with their 
>> lube where
>>
>> as a blind person has to know what questions to ask and know what 
>> brands to
>>
>> get. I learned what questions to ask when shopping by watching my 
>> parents, but I've never seen my parents buy condoms.
>> It's a serious issue and this program will help address those problems.
>> And
>>
>> what about masturbation? I've rarely read a book where masturbation 
>> is talked about and I've read a lot of books! How does a guy 
>> masturbate without
>>
>> making a mess?
>> Sex Ed is not just about a sperm and an egg get together to form a 
>> baby, that's more science.
>> Sex Ed is about sex and it's an issue that blind people fall way 
>> short in when it comes to being educated along with their fellow
students.
>> Thanks,
>>
>> Brandon Keith Biggs
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Herrin, Amber R.
>> Sent: Thursday, July 12, 2012 6:40 AM
>> To: 'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Sex Education Curriculum
>>
>> Dear Joshua,
>>
>> I have to agree with you here!  For me, the idea of knowing about 
>> sex, before I'm sharing it with my husband, is kind of...unnecessary, I
guess?
>> Maybe the wrong answer, and I understand that not everyone believes 
>> you should wait until marriage as I do, but I think that being blind 
>> doesn't prevent us from finding out about it the same way sighted 
>> people do-experiment (isn't that what most people do anyway?) or read 
>> books written on the topic (how confusing can text be?)
>>
>> Amber R. Herrin
>> Assistive Technology Trainer in Training: 2012
>> Mobile: (513) 593-5855
>> E-mail: herrinar at muohio.edu
>> "It doesn't matter what you've heard
>> Impossible is not a word
>> It's just a reason
>> For someone not to try
>>
>> Everybody's scared to death
>> When they decide to take that step
>> Out on the water
>> It'll be alright
>>
>> Life is so much more
>> Than what your eyes are seeing
>> You will find your way
>> If you keep believing"
>> -Kutless "What Faith Can Do"
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
>> Behalf Of Joshua Lester
>> Sent: Wednesday, July 11, 2012 9:35 PM
>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Sex Education Curriculum
>>
>> I personally did fine, in those courses, in school, without the new 
>> proposed curriculum, that they're wanting.
>> I don't see the need for one, because who really wants to know, 
>> what's being shown, in those slides?
>> Good grief!
>> Blessings, Joshua
>>
>> On 7/11/12, David Andrews <dandrews at visi.com> wrote:
>>>
>>>>I have been asked to circulate the following:
>>>
>>>
>>> Dave
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>>
>>>>Dear NFB Member,
>>>>The National Federation of the Blind has been gracious enough to 
>>>>help us with a current project.
>>>>
>>>>We are currently seeking your opinion in a survey that will help us 
>>>>write a curriculum for students with low vision and blindness in the 
>>>>area of sex education.  Currently no curriculum exists for students 
>>>>with low vision and blindness that reflect current education 
>>>>standards.  Young people, educators, and professionals have all 
>>>>indicated that there is a desperate need for such a curriculum.
>>>>We want your voice to impact our work!
>>>>Please take the time to fill out the survey at the link found below:
>>>><https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/sexeducationsurvey>https://www.surve
>>>>ym
>>>>onkey.com/s/sexeducationsurvey
>>>>
>>>><https://maverick.hec.ohio-state.edu/exchweb/bin/redir.asp?URL=https
>>>>:/ /www.surveymonkey.com/s/sexeducationsurvey>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>Thank you for your time and consideration of this project!
>>>>Tiffany Wild, Mollie Blackburn, Stacy Kelly, and Caitlin Ryan
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>Thank you,
>>>>Mika Baugh
>>>>National Federation of the Blind
>>>>200 East Wells Street
>>>>      at Jernigan Place
>>>>Baltimore, MD 21230
>>>>P: (410) 659 9314 ext. 2371
>>>>E: <mailto:mbaugh at nfb.org>mbaugh at nfb.org
>>>>W: <http://www.nfb.org>www.nfb.org
>>>>
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>>>
>>
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