[nabs-l] Sex Ed, and Missing Visual Info

[Desiree Oudinot]

Hi,
What's the name of the book? I would be interested in reading it.

On 7/13/12, Beth <thebluesisloose at gmail.com> wrote:
> Well said, Arielle.  I would say that there are guys who send me
> the wrong signals themselves and they are sighted.  I think
> animals have the same instinctive knowledge we do as you said.
> I'm a bit of a visual learner myself, so looking at cells is out
> of the question when it comes to biology.  I wouldn't mind if
> someone showed me a diagram, but doing experiments with cells and
> cellular things is just not my thing.  I wanted to study marine
> biology, and pulled an A in my high school bioogy class.  Boy,
> the teacher was tough!  As for the sex ed stuff, you're right.
> Who needs all that visual info?  But there's a way to do safe
> sex, and I learned that with my current and past boyfriends.
> Honestly, I should know about safe sex, and the things we know
> about safe sex are limited to us because people think we're
> "neutered."  I have a book about sex and disability that has a
> great introduction to it.  Lots of couples share their stories in
> the book, and there's a section about blindness in it that might
> be interesfting if you want me to copy and send it to you via
> email.  There's some interesting stuff that some blind people
> actually think about sex, and they say it's a feast for the
> senses.  I don't know, but I think sex ed is important, and yes,
> this book covers safe sex options and then reproductive options
> if the couple wants kids.
> Well done, Arielle,
> Beth
>
>  ----- Original Message -----
> From: Valerie Gibson <valandkayla at gmail.com
> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> Date sent: Thu, 12 Jul 2012 20:51:36 -0500
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Sex Ed, and Missing Visual Info
>
> Well said, Arielle, as always. :)
> On Jul 12, 2012, at 8:17 PM, Arielle Silverman wrote:
>
>  Hi all,
>  I agree with the opinion that blind students don't really need a
>  special sex ed curriculum just for us, any more than we need a
>  specialized math or geography or biology curriculum. Instead, we
>  should have access to the materials given to sighted students in
> an
>  accessible format, and we should be able to find books about sex
> in
>  Braille and to find Internet resources we can browse privately
> if we
>  have questions or concerns.
>  While we have probably talked this particular issue to death, I
> do
>  think this discussion brings up some important and controversial
>  questions about how we should cope with all the visual
> information we
>  don't routinely get that sighted people get. It is quite clear
> that
>  sighted people observe lots of things around them visually that
> blind
>  people don't automatically observe. However, it is also quite
> clear
>  that blind people can function well in society, get an
> education,
>  work, have hobbies, marry, raise kids and generally do all the
> things
>  sighted people do, without all this incidental visual info. And
> blind
>  people are no less intelligent than sighted people simply
> because of
>  this lack of exposure to the visual world. It makes me wonder,
> How
>  much of that visual info is really critically necessary for us
> to
>  function? How much effort do we really need to put in to get
> access to
>  all that visual info? In my experience, I believe part of being
> a
>  successful blind person is figuring out what visual info is
> really
>  critically important for a given job or task, getting access to
> that
>  critical info and just not spending too much effort on those
> things
>  that aren't critically important. Sitting around mourning all
> the
>  visual info we miss out on, by itself, doesn't get us very far.
>  To give an example that moves this topic back to academics, I
> earned a
>  bachelor's degree in biology in 2007. I have been totally blind
> my
>  whole life and I haven't a clue what most plants, animals and
> fungi
>  look like. I only vaguely know what a cell or a chromosome looks
> like.
>  Nevertheless, I earned my biology degree and I dare say, got
> higher
>  grades than many of my sighted classmates. It turned out that
> knowing
>  what living things look like is not very important for
> understanding
>  biology. What does matter is understanding what part of the cell
> does
>  what function, the steps of photosynthesis, cellular
> respiration, and
>  DNA replication, and how genetic traits are inherited. So I
> learned
>  these things and just didn't worry about all that visual stuff.
> If any
>  of it had turned out to matter, then I would have gotten some
> tactile
>  diagrams and worked with someone to ensure I understood what
> these
>  things looked like. But it didn't matter and so I didn't worry
> about
>  it. I could have chosen not to study biology because of concerns
> that
>  the curriculum for sighted students is so visual, but instead of
>  focusing on what I was missing, I found myself able to focus on
> what I
>  could process with my mind like everyone else did, and I was
> fine.
>  Similarly, with sex, it's true that we often don't know what a
> lot of
>  things look like, but again, in my experience this hasn't put me
> at a
>  significant disadvantage. I don't know what a diaphragm looks
> like but
>  I do know how it is supposed to be used and what the benefits
> and
>  disadvantages are of this particular birth control method. I did
> not
>  know exactly what the male sex organs look like until my first
> sexual
>  encounter when I was 21, but that really had no effect on my
>  participation in sex. I have not seen couples making out on the
>  street, or engaging in sexual acts, but I learned how to do
> these
>  things through a combination of experience and the instinctive
>  knowledge we share with other animals in this area. I can't
> really
>  think of any way my current sex life would have been improved if
> I had
>  had access to all this visual info. Regarding sexual education,
> I
>  think the most important information is about the various forms
> of
>  birth control and how it can be obtained, and about safer sex
> options.
>  Given all that, I do think the blind can face a real
> disadvantage when
>  it comes to flirting and dating. This is not just because
> sighted
>  people don't always feel comfortable around us, or don't think
> of us
>  as sexual beings, but also because we can miss signals that
> someone is
>  interested or don't know how to send appropriate signals when we
> are
>  interested in someone else. Unfortunately there aren't easy
> solutions
>  to many of these issues, because no matter how much training we
> might
>  get, we still can't see the signals others are sending us. But
> there
>  are some strategies we can use to meet people and to build
> friendships
>  which might eventually evolve into romances. I do think having
>  discussions about dating etc. as part of blindness training for
> teens
>  and young adults is a good idea.
>  Best,
>  Arielle
>
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