[nabs-l] a question about getting lost

[Chris Nusbaum]

Hi Vejas,

Wow!!! Great question! Honestly, I simply can't see your aid's 
reasoning in getting mad at you for finding your own way, while 
at the same time he gets equally mad at you for needing lots of 
help to get back on the right path.  It seems like a real 
double-standard to me! I would ask this guy 2 questions: (1) "Why 
do you get mad at me when I find my way on my own after getting 
lost, using the very skills which it is your job to help me 
learn?" and (2) "With all due respect, what is your solution? 
What would you rather have me do when I get lost, or do you just 
want me never to get lost?"

I think back to a seminar for parents and students which the 
Maryland Organization of Parents of Blind Children (MDPOBC) held 
at our state convention here in Maryland about 3 or 4 years ago.  
Dr.  Maurer was one of the speakers at that seminar, and one of 
the topics he covered was getting lost.  His main message was 
"It's OK to get lost." Everybody gets lost sometimes.  That 
includes even the best blind travellers.  So if your aid joined a 
list like Blind Talk, he could probably get plenty of stories 
from experienced blind adults who are also confident travellers 
about getting lost and what they did to find their way back.  
This includes asking sighted people for information! Note: I say 
"information" instead of "help" because I want to emphasize that 
most of the time, all you need from a sighted person is 
information (in verbal form) as to your location and some 
directions to get you back where you need to go.  Now if you're 
really lost and maybe in an unsafe situation, your only option 
might be sighted guide for the time being.  But I have found that 
in the vast majority of situations in which I have gotten lost 
and needed a sighted person to help me figure it out, all I 
needed was some verbal information.  I would ask your aid if he, 
as a sighted person, has ever gotten lost; driving, walking, or 
whatever.  If he's like the average sighted person, he probably 
has! Why? Because he
was in an unfamiliar area, which, even while using all the 
relevant skills he knew to get out of that position of being 
lost, he still was having trouble figuring out how to get out of 
that position (which happens to all sighted people,) and got 
lost.  So I really can't see why he would get mad at you for 
having to do the same thing.  By the way, I don't think it is not 
being independent, in any way shape or form, when you ask a 
sighted person for directions when you're lost! Everybody, blind 
and sighted alike, gets lost sometimes, and that's OK.  Sometimes 
you need to ask someone for information to help you get on the 
right track, and sometimes you can figure it out on your own.  I 
think it is a compliment to you when you solve a travel problem 
(for example, getting lost) on your own, as that says that you 
know the important travel skills you need to know to get out of 
the pickle of getting lost.

In my opinion, if you get lost, it's OK; it happens to everybody.  
If you need to ask for information from a sighted person to help 
you reorient, that's OK, too.  If you can figure it out on your 
own, that's even better! You asked if we thought reorienting 
after getting lost and getting to your destination safely was a 
"big deal." In my opinion, yes, it is a big deal; in a good way.

Chris

Chris Nusbaum
Email and Google Talk/Keychat (on the BrailleNote) ID: 
dotkid.nusbaum at gmail.com
Skype: christpher.nusbaum3 or search for Chris Nusbaum

"The real problem of blindness is not the loss of eyesight.  The 
real problem is the misunderstanding and lack of education that 
exists.  If a blind person has the proper training and 
opportunity, blindness can be reduced to a mere physical 
nuisance."
-- Kenneth Jernigan

----- Original Message -----
From: vejas <brlsurfer at gmail.com
To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org, blindtlk at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Mon, 27 Feb 2012 17:33:36 -0800
Subject: [nabs-l] a question about getting lost

Hi,
I am doing a pretty good job navigating my high-school campus.  I
hardly ever get lost, but I used to more often when I began.
I had a question: is it a big deal when you get lost, but find
your way COMPLETELY on your own?
I'm emphasizing this because my aide used to always get mad at me
when I got lost, even if I found my way using my skills.  One
time he got upset because I was checking a room number on a door,
but I needed to know what the room number was in order to get
where I was going.  He treats getting lost and finding my own way
just as badly as getting lost and needing lots of help.  Is this
right?
Vejas

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