[nabs-l] this one aide is driving me crazy? how should i react?

Wed Mar 7 04:35:01 UTC 2012

I have too gone threw this and still do.
I was speaking with a friend this evening and we were on a simular
topic. I thought of something that made since to me.

A lot of times I get people telling me i am so amazing and incredible
for just being blind, like many of you have been told too. And my
thoughts this evening was that to a sighted person, being blind is
like a doctor verses a farmer. Or whatever other types of people you
can come up with. A farmer, if not trained, could never perform
cergery and a doctor if not also taught or train could not heard
cattle and such. But sometimes a sighted person forgets that since
they can not do these things that a blind person do, doesn't mean it
can't be done.
So maybe ask them if they could land a plain if faced with that  event
with no prier training. Then ask them what makes them think a Pilot is
able to? Because they have been trained or taught. Well it is the same
as a blind person, you have learned how to do what you do, and a
sighted person has not been taught but, it doesn't mean you the blind
person, can't do it just because they have not been taught how.

Hope I made since on this part.

On 3/6/12, Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com> wrote:
> Hi Vejas,
> First of all I can totally relate to what you are experiencing. When I
> was in high school I had very similar frustrating encounters with one
> of the special ed aides as well as some of the teachers and other
> staff at my school. Unfortunately the problem doesn't ever really go
> away, just the other day I was walking to my building on campus and
> had some random guy following me and audio-describing my whole route
> ("There's a curb coming up, watch out, there you found it" etc.)
> It's important to remember you aren't alone in this and that the way
> this guy treats you has more to do with him and his own issues than it
> does with you. As you pointed out, he is used to working with students
> who have much more intense disabilities than you have and he likely
> knows very little about blindness. So definitely don't take it
> personally.
> I don't recommend being rude or sarcastic toward him, because
> unfortunately since you are a student, if he gets offended by
> something you say to him, he could tell on you to your aide or another
> authority at school. Even if you're just trying to stand up for
> yourself, you run the risk of getting in trouble if your actions are
> misunderstood. I say this as someone who got in trouble with my TVI
> and my parents because I tried to stand up for myself.
> It's important to think about whether his behavior is just irritating
> or if it makes you feel unsafe or distracts you from getting around
> efficiently. If it's just annoying, you may just want to try not to
> talk to him or if he starts acting weird or condescending, just ignore
> him. If on the other hand his following you makes you feel
> uncomfortable or is distracting you, you may need to tell him in a
> no-nonsense way that his actions aren't helpful. For example, with the
> guy who was following me and narrating the other day, I turned to him
> and said "I need you to be quiet so I can hear what's around me" and
> this worked. My worst pet peeve is when people talk to me while I am
> trying to line up to cross the street and I have learned to say "I
> need you to be quiet so I can hear the traffic". Sometimes these
> people genuinely think they are giving helpful information and they
> never considered that it's actually more helpful for us to be able to
> pay attention and listen for sound landmarks. You could also just
> simply say, "Please stop following me; thank you". Again you want to
> be polite, but you also want to be clear that you don't like what he's
> doing. It's still possible he might get mad and tell on you to your
> aide, but at least you can say you tried to be as polite and
> diplomatic as possible when dealing with him.
> If it gets really bad or he starts to creep you out, you could try
> talking to the principal or your guidance counselor about the
> situation.
> I still haven't found a good way to handle the many people who tell me
> I'm amazing/awesome/brave for living my life. Sometimes I find myself
> just responding with silence if I really just don't have the energy to
> try to work with them. If I have the time, I might say something like
> "actually for me what I do feels pretty normal". I recently started
> telling people, if it felt like they might listen, that the skills I
> use are ones a sighted person could learn after a year or so of
> training. But I'm not sure any of these tactics really make a
> difference in terms of showing people that we're really not all that
> special. Have any of you found any other ideas for dealing with this?
> Arielle
>
> On 3/6/12, Nicole B. Torcolini at Home <ntorcolini at wavecable.com> wrote:
>> Bluntly explain to him that you appreciate his help but that you don't
>> need
>> it. Ask him what he thinks your cane is for. Next time he starts following
>> you, stop and refuse to go anywhere until he stops following you. Tell him
>> that you have an aide already and that aide would do what he is doing if
>> he
>> thought it was necessary. As far as the talking on the phone, ask him how
>> he
>> would like it. Then, do something like, when leaving the message for your
>> mother, include that you had to hang up before because he was being rude.
>> If
>> this does not stop things, go talk to whoever his boss is.
>>
>> Nicole
>>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "vejas" <brlsurfer at gmail.com>
>> To: <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>; <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Tuesday, March 06, 2012 4:50 PM
>> Subject: [nabs-l] this one aide is driving me crazy? how should i react?
>>
>>
>> Hi,
>> The person I am writing about is not my aide, it's another guy.
>> This guy, Gregory, helps out with other kids, I think maybe the
>> ones who are autistic?
>> Anyway, when I've seen him recently he has been ABSOLUTELY
>> ANNOYING.
>> For example, for no other reason than the fact that I was
>> travelling on my own, he said he was proud of me.  But I didn't
>> do anything! I'm just traveling, exactly as I should!
>> On a second incident, when I was outside a classroom, I had to
>> call my mom for something, and he came up.  After being told that
>> I was on the phone, I was just about to leave the message when he
>> began talking again in his loud voice, and I had to call her
>> again.  When somebody knows you're on the phone, they should
>> seriously JUST LEAVE.
>> And maybe the worst was today.  He followed me the WHOLE ENTIRE
>> last quarter of my math class.  He would tell me to turn left,
>> even if I knew I had to.  And the weirdest thing was that when I
>> was walking, I felt a trash can with my cane and went around it
>> just as I was supposed to.  Then a couple seconds later he said,
>> "There's a trash can." Yes, I know.  I went around it a couple of
>> seconds ago.
>> I really need help.  He really bugs me.  I'm assuming he might
>> just be uneducated in blindness, as he is so used to working with
>> learning-disabled and autistíc people and probably has to do a
>> lot with them.
>> I've considered telling my aide, but they're sort of friends and
>> knowing who he is (I've had this aide for three years, same one I
>> talked about about getting lost a week ago), I'm assuming he's
>> probably going to make some excuse for Gregory (they're on
>> friendly terms.)
>> How can I get the message across to Gregory? Seriously if he
>> doesn't listen to the fact that I'm about to send my mom a
>> message, how am I going to expect him to listen if I talk with
>> him firmly?
>> Thank you so much.
>> Vejas
>>
>>
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