[nabs-l] this one aide is driving me crazy? how should i react?

[Chris Nusbaum]

Hi Vejas,

Exactly! He is uneducated about blindness and exhibits the worst 
of the misconceptions which we complain about all the time.  So, 
as we have to do all the time, you're going to need to educate 
this aid.  What I try to do in situations such as the ones you 
describe is try to educate them right then and there.  If, for 
example, as you describe, someone says there are proud of me for 
just travelling on my own, I answer, "Thank you, but what is 
there to be especially proud of? I'm walking down the hallway to 
my class just like a sighted person would." He may answer, "Well, 
you're blind, and I can't imagine travelling without my sight or 
with that big stick of yours." I then answer, "Yes, and I can't 
imagine travelling or doing anything else with my sight or 
without that big stick, otherwise known as a cane." He's probably 
just in awe of you because he can't imagine being in your shoes, 
and this may teach him.  If he doesn't get it then, as in a 
situation I had with a 7th grade teacher, I would try to schedule 
a meeting with him, you, and your TVI.  Get your aid, who sounds 
like he's got blindness misconceptions of his own, out of the 
situation altogether! That will most likely work.

If that even doesn't work, which I think is highly unlikely, you 
can do 1 of 2 things: (1) just ignore him and do your thing, or 
(2) kind of interrupt him.  Let me explain the second suggestion.  
One time, when one of the other kids at my bus stop started to 
give me unwanted turn-by-turn directions to get to the bus stop, 
which is a route I travel every day and one which I know well.  
After I repeatedly told him "I've got it," he seems to ignore me 
and still gave me these directions.  So what I finally did was 
when we got to a place where I needed to turn left, the guy said, 
"Turn..." and as he started to tell me which direction he wanted 
me to turn him, I said "Left!" He finally understood then! I hope 
these suggestions help you, and I hope that this email makes 
sense.

Chris

Chris Nusbaum
Email and Google Talk/Keychat (on the BrailleNote) ID: 
dotkid.nusbaum at gmail.com
Skype: christpher.nusbaum3 or search for Chris Nusbaum

"The real problem of blindness is not the loss of eyesight.  The 
real problem is the misunderstanding and lack of education that 
exists.  If a blind person has the proper training and 
opportunity, blindness can be reduced to a mere physical 
nuisance."
-- Kenneth Jernigan

----- Original Message -----
From: vejas <brlsurfer at gmail.com
To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org, blindtlk at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Tue, 06 Mar 2012 16:50:28 -0800
Subject: [nabs-l] this one aide is driving me crazy? how should i 
react?

Hi,
The person I am writing about is not my aide, it's another guy.
This guy, Gregory, helps out with other kids, I think maybe the
ones who are autistic?
Anyway, when I've seen him recently he has been ABSOLUTELY
ANNOYING.
For example, for no other reason than the fact that I was
travelling on my own, he said he was proud of me.  But I didn't
do anything! I'm just traveling, exactly as I should!
On a second incident, when I was outside a classroom, I had to
call my mom for something, and he came up.  After being told that
I was on the phone, I was just about to leave the message when he
began talking again in his loud voice, and I had to call her
again.  When somebody knows you're on the phone, they should
seriously JUST LEAVE.
And maybe the worst was today.  He followed me the WHOLE ENTIRE
last quarter of my math class.  He would tell me to turn left,
even if I knew I had to.  And the weirdest thing was that when I
was walking, I felt a trash can with my cane and went around it
just as I was supposed to.  Then a couple seconds later he said,
"There's a trash can." Yes, I know.  I went around it a couple of
seconds ago.
I really need help.  He really bugs me.  I'm assuming he might
just be uneducated in blindness, as he is so used to working with
learning-disabled and autistíc people and probably has to do a
lot with them.
I've considered telling my aide, but they're sort of friends and
knowing who he is (I've had this aide for three years, same one I
talked about about getting lost a week ago), I'm assuming he's
probably going to make some excuse for Gregory (they're on
friendly terms.)
How can I get the message across to Gregory? Seriously if he
doesn't listen to the fact that I'm about to send my mom a
message, how am I going to expect him to listen if I talk with
him firmly?
Thank you so much.
Vejas


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