[nabs-l] Dating & Sighted-Blind-Low Vision

Brian Hatgelakas brian.hatgelakas at verizon.net
Sun Mar 25 11:15:21 UTC 2012


@Jeff my advice to you is wait until college to start dating. I did this and 
am very happy I did.    By doing this the women by the time you enter 
college will be much more mature and accepting of your blindness situation. 
Right now as a teenager make friends and don't get caught up in something 
you know won't last.  Because at your age its mostly figuring out who you 
are and that's the same for girls.  Good luck in your studies and don't 
worry as you get older your chance to date will be hear before you know it.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "jeff crouch" <jeffanel at gmail.com>
To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list" 
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Saturday, March 24, 2012 7:11 PM
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Dating & Sighted-Blind-Low Vision


> ah, it must be nice being of legal age, but i am 15, and I would like
> to be in a releasonship, but the practicablity of this happening is
> slim, with school, and extra crickler activatives things would not
> really work out, but as i said, it would be nice.
>
> in a onist way of putting it, from a adault point of view, it would be
> pointless for me to get in a releationship because it is just over
> reactive hormons that would get in the way and then after a wile
> things would simmer down, and hear that person go's, on the hunt
> again.
>
> this is my point of view
>
> but i think you would have good luck in the online dating world, but
> as one of the posters said, becareful, i know from experence, my
> friend did that online stuff, and then well to putt it i have not seen
> her for quite some years, she went missing, so be careful
>
> don't mean to sound like a dad, lol
>
> every one have a good day, and if anyone needs to contact me, you can
> email me at
> jeffanel at gmail.com
> or
> kd8qiq at arrl.net
>
> with love and respect
> Jeff Crouch
>
> On 3/24/12, Amy Sabo <amylsabo at comcast.net> wrote:
>> Hello doug,
>>
>> Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials with you and mellissa. I'm sooo
>> happy for the both of you! Here's wishing you both good health and
>> happiness.
>>
>> Take care and, I will talk to you soon.
>>
>>
>>
>> Hugs,
>> amy
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
>> Behalf
>> Of Doug Oliver
>> Sent: Thursday, March 22, 2012 8:05 PM
>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Dating & Sighted-Blind-Low Vision
>>
>> we are.
>>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Beth" <thebluesisloose at gmail.com>
>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Thursday, March 22, 2012 8:28 PM
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Dating & Sighted-Blind-Low Vision
>>
>>
>> Doug, good luck with your fiancee.  I hope the two of you are
>> still working.
>> Beth
>>
>>  ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Doug Oliver" <oliver.doug1 at gmail.com
>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>> Date sent: Thu, 22 Mar 2012 19:54:51 -0500
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Dating & Sighted-Blind-Low Vision
>>
>> I'm gonna way in on this topic.
>> My fiancee is actually sited and I'm blind, she's been around
>> blind people
>> growing up, so she's very much accustomed to dating a blind
>> person.
>> We've met in person twice and it's been great.
>> Take care,
>> Doug
>>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Ashley" <cumbiambera2005 at gmail.com
>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>> Sent: Thursday, March 22, 2012 7:42 PM
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Dating & Sighted-Blind-Low Vision
>>
>>
>> Hello all,
>> Like some of the people who have posted already, I have had my
>> own
>> experiences with dating, as well as simply meeting people online.
>> As a
>> matter of fact, my current boyfriend is someone I met online, and
>> he
>> is blind as well. We have been dating a little over a year now,
>> and I
>> have also had the chance to meet him in person. I can say that
>> some of
>> what we've been through, especially when we met, was both good
>> and
>> bad, and even though he is blind, it was a little more disastrous
>> because of his family who are sighted. Well the first time we
>> actually
>> got to "see" each other was through a webcam, and both families
>> were
>> present, not only for descriptive purposes but also because of us
>> being long distance, and it was the only way the two families
>> could
>> meet. About 6 months later I got to visit him in person, and that
>> was
>> a little weird because he lives in another country, and a part of
>> another culture, and that in itself brings its own barriers. I
>> actually stayed at his house with his family, and I imagine it
>> was
>> hard on them because they've never dealt with another blind
>> person
>> besides him, and he is not as independent as I am. I have also
>> met
>> sighted people online, but I did not meet them through dating
>> sites. I
>> met them through pages we both visit, (blogs, etc), and in my
>> opinion,
>> that's better because you're actually meeting people you have
>> things
>> in common with, regardless of whether you date or not, and like
>> most
>> people have said already, one of the main things to consider when
>> dating someone, blind or sighted, is what kinds of things you
>> share in
>> common with the other person. I personally have never dated a
>> sighted
>> person, but I have made some interesting friends online who are
>> sighted. Some know I'm blind, and some do not, but not because I
>> haven't wanted to tell them. I don't meet these people in person
>> mainly because most of them are not from the U.S. and therefore
>> it
>> really hasn't come up. Besides, I'm not as close to them, and we
>> mainly talk about music, which is what i have in common with most
>> of
>> these people I meet anyway. I have also met blind friends online,
>> and
>> basically the same goes for them. So as most people have already
>> said,
>> I don't think it's that much different dating a sighted person
>> from a
>> blind person. A blind person might be a little more understanding
>> considering they go through some of the same things. But on the
>> other
>> side, that may not always be the case, if the person isn't
>> completely
>> adjusted to their blindness, or they have been with their family
>> their
>> entire life, and don't really understand the independence issue
>> such
>> as in my case. So I think dating both blind and sighted people
>> can
>> have their ups and downs, and it's just a matter of knowing how
>> to
>> handle each situation as it comes. Good luck.
>>
>>
>> On 3/22/12, Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>  Hi all,
>>  I have a little experience with online dating, but not much. I
>> was on
>>  a dating site for a year or so and chatted with a few guys but
>> didn't
>>  find anyone I actually wanted to meet in person. I have a lot of
>>  friends (sighted and blind) who do online dating and I've heard
>> the
>>  whole gamut, from happily-ever-after marriages to disastrous
>> first
>>  dates and a few people who walked away after my friend's
>> blindness was
>>  revealed online. It really doesn't hurt to try it. If you do
>> find
>>  someone you like and want to meet, it's best to meet them in a
>> public
>>  place. But there's nothing dangerous about just putting a
>> profile up
>>  and seeing what happens.
>>  Some dating sites are free and others charge a fee for joining.
>>  Interestingly, the site I used was free, and when I was visiting
>> my
>>  sister and her roommate they were checking out one of the paid
>> sites.
>>  I told them about the free site I was on and they looked at it
>> and
>>  said they thought the guys on the free site were a lot more
>> attractive
>>  and appealing than the guys on the paid one. So it's possible
>> the
>>  people you might meet on a free site are less "desperate" and
>> hence
>>  are better catches.
>>  I'm sure there's a lot of debate about when to reveal blindness
>> during
>>  an online dating encounter. Some people put it in their
>> profiles,
>>  others wait until the first meeting and still others reveal it
>> at some
>>  point in the middle. I'd tend to treat it like a job interview
>> and
>>  reveal blindness after I've connected with someone online but
>> before
>>  we meet in person so they aren't totally shocked or freaked out
>> when
>>  they see me. Unfortunately rejections due to blindness can
>> happen at
>>  any point in the process. You'll have to decide whether you
>> would
>>  prefer to take that risk earlier on or to give them a chance to
>> get to
>>  know you before they learn about your blindness.
>>  Regarding dating blind vs. sighted people: Like many of us I
>> have done
>>  both. I never consciously decided that I wanted to date a blind
>> person
>>  or a sighted person, and I would not recommend that line of
>> thinking.
>>  I simply dated guys with whom I felt a connection and who felt
>> the
>>  same way toward me, regardless of whether or not they were
>> blind. I
>>  will say that in some ways establishing the initial relationship
>> was
>>  easier with blind guys, because I didn't have to wonder about
>> what
>>  nonverbal signals they were sending or how they might interpret
>> my
>>  nonverbal signals. However, when I try to compare the
>> relationship I
>>  have had with my sighted boyfriend over the past three years
>> with the
>>  other relationships I have had with blind guys, I really can't
>> think
>>  of any major differences. I do think that regardless of
>> blindness
>>  status, it's important for you and your partner to share
>> interests and
>>  passions in common. NFB and blindness are passions that many of
>> us
>>  share, and they help bring many blind couples together. However,
>> there
>>  are other interests or passions you may share with sighted folks
>>  around you, and finding a partner who shares one of those
>> passions
>>  with you can be similarly rewarding. In other words, instead of
>>  deciding who to date based on whether they are sighted or blind,
>> I
>>  think it's more helpful to choose based on how much you share in
>>  common with them. I know that for us blind folks it can be hard
>> to
>>  meet and connect with people at bars or large gatherings like
>> singles'
>>  parties. But if you can find communities of people that share
>> your
>>  interests-whether that be your local NFB chapter or student
>> division,
>>  classes, church groups or clubs you might be in-that's a much
>> better
>>  way to build lasting connections.
>>  Arielle
>>
>>  On 3/22/12, Nimer M. Jaber, ICł <nimerjaber1 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>  Oops, I missed a point: I wouldn't go to an NFB convention
>> simply for
>>  the dating scene. I'm sure relationships do develop at things
>> like
>>  that, however most people are going to be preoccupied with
>> general
>>  sessions, exhibits, orientation around a huge massive hotel, etc
>> etc
>>  to really pay attention to who's around them for dating.
>>
>>  Later.
>>
>>  On 22.03.2012, Nimer M. Jaber, ICł <nimerjaber1 at gmail.com>
>> wrote:
>>  Hello Robin,
>>
>>  Or you could just go ahead and do the online dating thing and
>> learn
>>  from it. It has turned out well for some, and not so well for
>> others.
>>  As for the sighted vs. blind thing, I would ask what you want.
>> Not
>>  dating a blind person simply because you think you'll look cool
>> and
>>  more independent for dating a sighted person will limit your
>> options,
>>  just like not dating a sighted person because you're afraid of
>> being
>>  rejected is crazy as well. We're all individuals. Many blind
>> people
>>  have underlying disabilities, some may not be adjusted to their
>>  blindness completely, etc but you wouldn't have to
>> necessarily
>>  feel self-conscious about the blindness issues, your appearance,
>> etc
>>  etc. Sighted people in my experience are going to ask many
>> questions.
>>  Especially at first, you'll probably have to do a whole lot more
>>  educating than dating, and it might get annoying, but many are
>> willing
>>  to learn and it could work out. As for good dating sites ... why
>> not
>>  just getting onto the social networks like Facebook and put your
>>  status as single? Maybe attend some of the singles conferences
>> that
>>  are out there? And if someone interests you, then go after them
>>  (whether online or not).
>>
>>  Anyway, talk to you later and peace. May you have much luck with
>> your
>>  dating search.
>>
>>  Nimer J
>>
>>  On 22.03.2012, Joshua Lester <jlester8462 at students.pccua.edu>
>> wrote:
>>  Also, it has been proven, that there are people on chat sites,
>> that
>>  pretend to be something, to get your attention, and then when
>> you meet
>>  them, they're a criminal.
>>  Be careful, and meet people one on one, and in person.
>>  Come to the NFB convention, and you might meet someone, and oh
>> yes,
>>  there are sighted members in the NFB, as well!
>>  Blessings, Joshua
>>
>>  On 3/22/12, Gloria G <gloria.graves at gmail.com> wrote:
>>  Hi,
>>  I have never gone on to any of the online dating sites, but I
>> would be
>>  very
>>  careful because a person online is not as friendly or charming
>> as they
>>  appear to be over emails. I have dated very few blind people and
>> find
>>  that
>>  there is always a focus on blindness in the relationship and I
>> feel
>>  that
>>  is
>>  a negative thing at times because we all live with blindness on
>> a
>>  daily
>>  basis and want to know we are more than our blindness. I have
>> found
>>  there
>>  are a lot of people open to dating a blind person especially
>> when they
>>  are
>>  confident and out going. I have been in a relationship with a
>> sited
>>  person
>>  for 3 years and things are wonderful.
>>  ----- Original Message -----
>>  From: "Robin" <robinmel71 at earthlink.net
>>  To: <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>  Sent: Thursday, March 22, 2012 4:47 PM
>>  Subject: [nabs-l] Dating & Sighted-Blind-Low Vision
>>
>>
>>  Hello to everyone,
>>  I am just wondering if anyone has had any experience with online
>>  dating
>>  and if so what sites would you recommend? What experiences have
>> you
>>  had
>>  with dating sighted people vs dating blind people? I look
>> forward to
>>  hearing your stories.
>>
>>
>>  I seldom think about my limitations, and they never make me sad.
>>  Perhaps
>>  there is just a touch of yearning at times; but it is vague,
>> like a
>>  breeze
>>
>>  among flowers.
>>  Hellen Keller
>>
>>
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>>
>>  --
>>  Nimer Jaber, ICł and Freedom Scientific JAWS Certifications
>>
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>>
>>  Registered Linux User 529141.
>>  http://counter.li.org/
>>  Vinux testing and documentation coordinator
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>>  please click here:
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>>  --
>>  Nimer Jaber, ICł and Freedom Scientific JAWS Certifications
>>
>>  The message above is intended for the recipient to whom it was
>>  addressed. If you believe that you are not the intended
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>>  please notify me via reply email and destroy all copies of this
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>>  by anyone other than the intended recipient may result in civil
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>>  criminal action. I have checked this email and all corresponding
>>  attachments for security threats. However, security of your
>> machine is
>>  up to you. Thanks.
>>
>>  Registered Linux User 529141.
>>  http://counter.li.org/
>>  Vinux testing and documentation coordinator
>>  To get more information about a free and accessible operating
>> system,
>>  please click here:
>>  http://www.vinuxproject.org
>>
>>  To find out about a free and versatile screen reader for windows
>> XP
>>  and above, please click here:
>>  http://www.nvda-project.org
>>
>>  You can follow @nimerjaber on Twitter for the latest technology
>> news.
>>
>>  Check out my blog related to technology by clicking here:
>>  http://nimertech.blogspot.com
>>
>>  To contact me, you can reply to this email or you may call me at
>> (720)
>>  (251-4530) and I will do my best to respond to you promptly.
>>
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>
>
> -- 
> 73
> kd8qiq
> jeff crouch
>
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