[nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating

[Arielle Silverman]

Hi all,
Cindy, I generally agree with you about keeping this list to
blindness-related discussions. However, I do think long-distance
dating issues like the one Koby brought up are perhaps more relevant
to us blind students than they are for sighted students, especially
those of us who are involved in the NFB.  This is because, for many
reasons, some of us want to date other blind/NFB people and because
our community is so spread out, we may often end up in similar
situations where we have to decide if we want to enter a long-distance
relationship with someone we know from this community. So I'd like to
offer a brief response on-list and hope that others in similar
situations might find it helpful.
During college I was in a long-distance relationship with someone I
met through NFB for about a year. In hindsight I do not regret that
decision at all. I had fun, learned a lot and he and I are still
friends. I will also say that parts of it were emotionally very hard
to deal with--in my particular case an airplane ticket between my
location and his cost nearly $500 and we did not see each other for
five months, which was emotionally trying at times. I do not think I
would do another long-distance relationship and my current boyfriend
and I will be making an effort to ensure we will not have to be living
in separate places for any length of time. However, again, I enjoyed
the one experience I had overall and learned a lot from it. I think if
you and this girl really like each other and you can find a way to see
each other on a somewhat regular basis, there's no harm in trying and
you can always decide later on to just be friends. However, it is
something to give a little serious thought to before you make that
kind of commitment. You also want to talk with her and make sure that
the two of you have similar expectations for how serious of a
relationship this will be and how often you will be able to see each
other. It will be hard if one of you is much more enthused about the
relationship than the other. But if the two of you are generally on
the same page and are really committed to it, it can be fun.
Hope this helps,
Arielle