[nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating

Sat Sep 8 02:01:43 UTC 2012

this totally off topic and there might be kids and highschoolers on here.

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Koby" <kobycox at gmail.com>
Sent: Friday, September 07, 2012 9:42 PM
To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list" 
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
Cc: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list" 
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating

> All,
> What should I do If this girl wants to have sex when I see her?
> Koby
> Sent from my iPhone
>
> On Sep 6, 2012, at 12:53 AM, Beth <thebluesisloose at gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> Hi, Arielle and all,
>>    Jason is the love I thought I'd never have.  YEs, we get on each 
>> other's nerves.  YEs, he argues with me sometimes, but people call him no 
>> good, bad, really stupid, whuatever you say they say it about him.  I 
>> think Jason has a sweet side to him.  I love Jason so much and we met in 
>> June.  His mom was able to pay for the flight, but I'm afraid she won't 
>> this December or so.  I'm trying to make it easy for her to pay for it 
>> again so I can be down there with him.  I want Jason to know that just 
>> because he's blind, heart issues and all that, that doesn't mean that his 
>> life is over.  HE can marry, he can have a relationship, he can have kids 
>> if he so desires, and he may engage in sex if that's whuat he wants. 
>> Some men are nervous about sex and relationships, even Jason.  But with 
>> the help of my coaxing and calm manner, he was able to enjoy himself with 
>> me.  At least he doesn't engage in the trade of child porn and other 
>> inappropriate things that sighted men would engage in.  He has a good 
>> sense of right and wrong.  He loves chocolate for breakfast. (hee hee), 
>> though I prefer eggs myself.  If I look back and turn the clock back, I 
>> see that I have not made a bad choice as some are led to believe. 
>> Honestly, I have insecurity issues, and I see myself at fault for a 
>> stupid email I sent to his mother because I was truly upset at sommething 
>> he did that was really inappropriate and I don't want to share with this 
>> list.  I love Jason no matter what he does to me or whuaft I do to him. 
>> All I can do is say that it's emotionally trying not having Jason near 
>> me, but this relationship is good when the winds of good fortune blow in 
>> our direction.  Arielle, Im glad at least you have a good boyfriend. 
>> Btw, for all of us, how can I make up with Jason's family without sending 
>> an email?  I really want to see him again, and supposedly his mom resents 
>> me for sending that email.  That's the only thing about the relationship 
>> that I don't like very much.
>> Beth
>>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com
>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list 
>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>> Date sent: Wed, 5 Sep 2012 23:01:32 -0600
>> Subject: [nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating
>>
>> Hi all,
>> Cindy, I generally agree with you about keeping this list to
>> blindness-related discussions. However, I do think long-distance
>> dating issues like the one Koby brought up are perhaps more relevant
>> to us blind students than they are for sighted students, especially
>> those of us who are involved in the NFB.  This is because, for many
>> reasons, some of us want to date other blind/NFB people and because
>> our community is so spread out, we may often end up in similar
>> situations where we have to decide if we want to enter a long-distance
>> relationship with someone we know from this community. So I'd like to
>> offer a brief response on-list and hope that others in similar
>> situations might find it helpful.
>> During college I was in a long-distance relationship with someone I
>> met through NFB for about a year. In hindsight I do not regret that
>> decision at all. I had fun, learned a lot and he and I are still
>> friends. I will also say that parts of it were emotionally very hard
>> to deal with--in my particular case an airplane ticket between my
>> location and his cost nearly $500 and we did not see each other for
>> five months, which was emotionally trying at times. I do not think I
>> would do another long-distance relationship and my current boyfriend
>> and I will be making an effort to ensure we will not have to be living
>> in separate places for any length of time. However, again, I enjoyed
>> the one experience I had overall and learned a lot from it. I think if
>> you and this girl really like each other and you can find a way to see
>> each other on a somewhat regular basis, there's no harm in trying and
>> you can always decide later on to just be friends. However, it is
>> something to give a little serious thought to before you make that
>> kind of commitment. You also want to talk with her and make sure that
>> the two of you have similar expectations for how serious of a
>> relationship this will be and how often you will be able to see each
>> other. It will be hard if one of you is much more enthused about the
>> relationship than the other. But if the two of you are generally on
>> the same page and are really committed to it, it can be fun.
>> Hope this helps,
>> Arielle
>>
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>
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