[nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating

Sat Sep 8 03:39:44 UTC 2012

Hello,
Bring a condom... I still haven't heard about condoms being offered in High 
schools, but Colleges do have free Condoms and lube in their health centers.
I've never gone in to ask for a condom at one of those places, that is 
something I would like to hear experiences from other people on.
Is there a tactful way of asking for a free condom at a health center? I can 
go and ask point blank, but that feels to me like I would be seen as the 
horny blind guy. Especially if I came in there every few months...
Perhaps I can go in for a flue shot and when I finish if there is few people 
there, ask for a tour of the condoms?
Or do people try and get their friends to go with them and show them around? 
I could also ask my mobility instructor to show me.
Do people know what would be most socially acceptable?
It is my opinion that a guy should not even consider having sex unless he 
has a condom. It's very much the man's responsibility to make sure he has 
protection for his gender.

Does anyone also know of a good website to buy condoms and other things off 
of? I know my parents stopped using condoms before the internet really 
became big because my brother is 16. I doubt they are any help there...

Koby, Just say what you feel and know she is not a mind reader. Be honest 
and if you question, take note of your response when you are emotional and 
just sleep on it. If in the morning you are still happy with what you are 
wanting to say, send it. But when you are talking on the phone or Skype, 
just know that words are words, they are just week expletives for the 
thoughts and feelings inside.
In my opinion, art and using language to say the most it possibly can is the 
most fascinating way to communicate. But of course that doesn't help if you 
are trying to figure out a place to go on a date.
In my experience, there are few women who will have sex on the first date. 
It may just be me, but if sex is something you really want with this woman, 
I would in the date itself, gently see how far physically she is willing to 
go. If she gives you a good make out session, that probably means that it is 
OK for you to be touching her shoulders, back, arms and possibly her leg, 
closer to her knee. If you are doing that it is a pretty easy thing to read 
someone's intentions. It may also not hurt to menschen even before you meet 
this girl that you like women who are forward in their intentions because 
you are a bumbling oaf when it comes to reading women :P.
It would be fascinating to hear what women think on first date subjects and 
their opinion on hooking up on the first date... I don't think it is very 
common, lets just say that. But all the girlfriends I have had I have asked 
them about their sexual status and history before I really consider having 
sex with them. Often times bringing up sex and past boyfriends in 
conversation will get her opinion on sex. If she has never had sex, it may 
be good to point her to some books on virgin sex, because it is something 
both partners should be aware of. But again, I am a guy and this advice is 
not coming from a woman.
Thank you,

Brandon Keith Biggs
-----Original Message----- 
From: Koby
Sent: Friday, September 07, 2012 6:42 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Cc: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating

All,
What should I do If this girl wants to have sex when I see her?
Koby
Sent from my iPhone

On Sep 6, 2012, at 12:53 AM, Beth <thebluesisloose at gmail.com> wrote:

> Hi, Arielle and all,
>    Jason is the love I thought I'd never have.  YEs, we get on each 
> other's nerves.  YEs, he argues with me sometimes, but people call him no 
> good, bad, really stupid, whuatever you say they say it about him.  I 
> think Jason has a sweet side to him.  I love Jason so much and we met in 
> June.  His mom was able to pay for the flight, but I'm afraid she won't 
> this December or so.  I'm trying to make it easy for her to pay for it 
> again so I can be down there with him.  I want Jason to know that just 
> because he's blind, heart issues and all that, that doesn't mean that his 
> life is over.  HE can marry, he can have a relationship, he can have kids 
> if he so desires, and he may engage in sex if that's whuat he wants.  Some 
> men are nervous about sex and relationships, even Jason.  But with the 
> help of my coaxing and calm manner, he was able to enjoy himself with me. 
> At least he doesn't engage in the trade of child porn and other 
> inappropriate things that sighted men would engage in.  He has a good 
> sense of right and wrong.  He loves chocolate for breakfast. (hee hee), 
> though I prefer eggs myself.  If I look back and turn the clock back, I 
> see that I have not made a bad choice as some are led to believe. 
> Honestly, I have insecurity issues, and I see myself at fault for a stupid 
> email I sent to his mother because I was truly upset at sommething he did 
> that was really inappropriate and I don't want to share with this list.  I 
> love Jason no matter what he does to me or whuaft I do to him.  All I can 
> do is say that it's emotionally trying not having Jason near me, but this 
> relationship is good when the winds of good fortune blow in our direction. 
> Arielle, Im glad at least you have a good boyfriend.  Btw, for all of us, 
> how can I make up with Jason's family without sending an email?  I really 
> want to see him again, and supposedly his mom resents me for sending that 
> email.  That's the only thing about the relationship that I don't like 
> very much.
> Beth
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com
> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> Date sent: Wed, 5 Sep 2012 23:01:32 -0600
> Subject: [nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating
>
> Hi all,
> Cindy, I generally agree with you about keeping this list to
> blindness-related discussions. However, I do think long-distance
> dating issues like the one Koby brought up are perhaps more relevant
> to us blind students than they are for sighted students, especially
> those of us who are involved in the NFB.  This is because, for many
> reasons, some of us want to date other blind/NFB people and because
> our community is so spread out, we may often end up in similar
> situations where we have to decide if we want to enter a long-distance
> relationship with someone we know from this community. So I'd like to
> offer a brief response on-list and hope that others in similar
> situations might find it helpful.
> During college I was in a long-distance relationship with someone I
> met through NFB for about a year. In hindsight I do not regret that
> decision at all. I had fun, learned a lot and he and I are still
> friends. I will also say that parts of it were emotionally very hard
> to deal with--in my particular case an airplane ticket between my
> location and his cost nearly $500 and we did not see each other for
> five months, which was emotionally trying at times. I do not think I
> would do another long-distance relationship and my current boyfriend
> and I will be making an effort to ensure we will not have to be living
> in separate places for any length of time. However, again, I enjoyed
> the one experience I had overall and learned a lot from it. I think if
> you and this girl really like each other and you can find a way to see
> each other on a somewhat regular basis, there's no harm in trying and
> you can always decide later on to just be friends. However, it is
> something to give a little serious thought to before you make that
> kind of commitment. You also want to talk with her and make sure that
> the two of you have similar expectations for how serious of a
> relationship this will be and how often you will be able to see each
> other. It will be hard if one of you is much more enthused about the
> relationship than the other. But if the two of you are generally on
> the same page and are really committed to it, it can be fun.
> Hope this helps,
> Arielle
>
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