[nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating

Sat Sep 8 04:32:19 UTC 2012

Koby,
We cannot answer that for you. Its personal. Do you feel ready? If you don't 
want to create a baby, have safe sex, and find out what it means. I won't go 
into protection techniques as its off topic. Do you trust her enough? If it 
does not feel comfortable to you, say no.

I'd have to say though that one who has sex on their first face to face 
encounter seems like nuts to me. I mean you said you don't even know her 
well and just reconnected with her! Really think about it Koby. I also would 
think about your religious beliefs. Do you really believe in sex before 
marriage?  I do not, but there are many, many other reasons I would not 
advise sex on the first encounter with a girl I just reconnected with! They 
include its too intimate, not feeling ready, not able to enjoy it with  a 
stranger and the fear of an STD.

So that is my ideas. But as I said it’s a very personal decission. Koby, 
just think of the ramifications of your choices before doing it.
Ashley

-----Original Message----- 
From: Koby
Sent: Friday, September 07, 2012 9:42 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Cc: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating

All,
What should I do If this girl wants to have sex when I see her?
Koby
Sent from my iPhone

On Sep 6, 2012, at 12:53 AM, Beth <thebluesisloose at gmail.com> wrote:

> Hi, Arielle and all,
>    Jason is the love I thought I'd never have.  YEs, we get on each 
> other's nerves.  YEs, he argues with me sometimes, but people call him no 
> good, bad, really stupid, whuatever you say they say it about him.  I 
> think Jason has a sweet side to him.  I love Jason so much and we met in 
> June.  His mom was able to pay for the flight, but I'm afraid she won't 
> this December or so.  I'm trying to make it easy for her to pay for it 
> again so I can be down there with him.  I want Jason to know that just 
> because he's blind, heart issues and all that, that doesn't mean that his 
> life is over.  HE can marry, he can have a relationship, he can have kids 
> if he so desires, and he may engage in sex if that's whuat he wants.  Some 
> men are nervous about sex and relationships, even Jason.  But with the 
> help of my coaxing and calm manner, he was able to enjoy himself with me. 
> At least he doesn't engage in the trade of child porn and other 
> inappropriate things that sighted men would engage in.  He has a good 
> sense of right and wrong.  He loves chocolate for breakfast. (hee hee), 
> though I prefer eggs myself.  If I look back and turn the clock back, I 
> see that I have not made a bad choice as some are led to believe. 
> Honestly, I have insecurity issues, and I see myself at fault for a stupid 
> email I sent to his mother because I was truly upset at sommething he did 
> that was really inappropriate and I don't want to share with this list.  I 
> love Jason no matter what he does to me or whuaft I do to him.  All I can 
> do is say that it's emotionally trying not having Jason near me, but this 
> relationship is good when the winds of good fortune blow in our direction. 
> Arielle, Im glad at least you have a good boyfriend.  Btw, for all of us, 
> how can I make up with Jason's family without sending an email?  I really 
> want to see him again, and supposedly his mom resents me for sending that 
> email.  That's the only thing about the relationship that I don't like 
> very much.
> Beth
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com
> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> Date sent: Wed, 5 Sep 2012 23:01:32 -0600
> Subject: [nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating
>
> Hi all,
> Cindy, I generally agree with you about keeping this list to
> blindness-related discussions. However, I do think long-distance
> dating issues like the one Koby brought up are perhaps more relevant
> to us blind students than they are for sighted students, especially
> those of us who are involved in the NFB.  This is because, for many
> reasons, some of us want to date other blind/NFB people and because
> our community is so spread out, we may often end up in similar
> situations where we have to decide if we want to enter a long-distance
> relationship with someone we know from this community. So I'd like to
> offer a brief response on-list and hope that others in similar
> situations might find it helpful.
> During college I was in a long-distance relationship with someone I
> met through NFB for about a year. In hindsight I do not regret that
> decision at all. I had fun, learned a lot and he and I are still
> friends. I will also say that parts of it were emotionally very hard
> to deal with--in my particular case an airplane ticket between my
> location and his cost nearly $500 and we did not see each other for
> five months, which was emotionally trying at times. I do not think I
> would do another long-distance relationship and my current boyfriend
> and I will be making an effort to ensure we will not have to be living
> in separate places for any length of time. However, again, I enjoyed
> the one experience I had overall and learned a lot from it. I think if
> you and this girl really like each other and you can find a way to see
> each other on a somewhat regular basis, there's no harm in trying and
> you can always decide later on to just be friends. However, it is
> something to give a little serious thought to before you make that
> kind of commitment. You also want to talk with her and make sure that
> the two of you have similar expectations for how serious of a
> relationship this will be and how often you will be able to see each
> other. It will be hard if one of you is much more enthused about the
> relationship than the other. But if the two of you are generally on
> the same page and are really committed to it, it can be fun.
> Hope this helps,
> Arielle
>
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