[nabs-l] condoms and Sexual Health

[David Andrews]

I think that Arielle gives good advice and frames the question 
well.  I initially said off topic, I meant just the aspect of sex the 
first time -- it isn't a blindness issue, but I know there is grey 
areas here to--and there are blindness to the discussion.

I also know that some people aren't comfortable with this discussion, 
but as long as it is in good taste, and on topic you will just have 
to delete and move on.
  People can conduct themselves like adults -- or young adults, and 
be tasteful and appropriate, and still have a meaningful discussion 
-- if you try.

Dave

At 12:00 PM 9/8/2012, you wrote:
>Hi all,
>I know the recent discussions about sex and dating are kind of in a
>gray area as to whether or not they're on-topic for this list, since
>most of the issues Koby brought up are not really unique to blindness.
>So if the moderators or Dave feel this is getting too far afield, I
>will happily respect your judgment. However, I also think that
>Brandon's question about where to get condoms is a legitimate one and
>that there might be other blind people out here, including teenagers,
>who have similar concerns about how to get condoms, birth control or
>sexual health information without a lot of awkwardness or
>embarrassment. It can be particularly difficult if you have to depend
>on someone else (especially parents) for transportation which can make
>going to a clinic or drugstore difficult.
>There are a few places to buy condoms online, including
>www.condomania.com
>www.undercovercondoms.com
>and
>www.condomdepot.com
>Believe it or not, they also have some condom choices at
>www.amazon.com
>If you go to your health center on campus for any reason, it shouldn't
>be a problem  to ask a doctor or nurse there about condoms.
>I cannot answer the questions about when to begin having sex with a
>partner because that is a highly individual decision. However, I feel
>it important that anyone who is considering having sex for the first
>time ensure you understand what all of your options are for preventing
>pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, the advantages and
>disadvantages of each option, and the proper way to use condoms  and
>birth control. There are  a couple different websites with this kind
>of information:
>www.plannedparenthood.org
>(includes live chat with a sexual health educator) or
>www.scarleteen.com
>This issue is particularly close to my heart at the moment because my
>boyfriend's sister just had an unintended pregnancy at a very
>inopportune time (while still in college, with a guy she had only
>known for a few months) and was apparently taking birth control pills,
>but had not been taking them consistently. While I don't believe that
>sex  should be feared, it is something that takes some responsibility,
>planning and foresight to ensure it is enjoyable while minimizing the
>risks. Also, while I won't go into details here, there are other ways
>to be physically intimate with someone that are less risky, which
>these online forums will talk about.
>I also want to bring up  an issue that is somewhat relevant to sexual
>health, which I experienced and I think that some of you might also be
>struggling with. This is the issue of having your parents drive you to
>doctors' appointments and then having them want to sit in or even
>participate in your appointments. Since I attended college in my home
>city, my mother always wanted to drive me to my doctors' appointments
>and would then want to come in and chat with the doctor while he/she
>was examining me. This was partly because my parents and I saw many of
>the same doctors and she often thought it was a good opportunity to
>ask the doctor a quick question about her own health while she was
>there, or because she was curious to see what the doctor recommended
>to me about a particular issue. I eventually realized that while it
>wasn't ill-intentioned, it was a violation of my privacy as an adult
>patient and I asked her to wait in the waiting room while I was seeing
>the doctor. I didn't actually take this stand until I was 21 and in
>hindsight I wish I had done  it much earlier. By the time you are 18,
>unless you have a serious cognitive disability, you have a right to
>privacy of your medical information and it is important to establish a
>good doctor-patient relationship without a third person interfering.
>This is especially true when it comes to sexual health and by the time
>you are 18 or even 16, you will want to start discussing your sexual
>activities or questions with your doctors without your parents being
>around. You might also want to consider getting a driver or even
>taking the bus to medical appointments to avoid this problem.
>On a related note, by the time you are in high school, you should know
>the names of all medications you take on  a regular basis and any
>chronic medical conditions you may have. If you ever have to go to the
>emergency room, this kind  of information may be requested of you.
>Best,
>Arielle