[nabs-l] condoms and Sexual Health

[Ashley Bramlett]

Arielle,
Thanks. I think discussing access to information on
sexual health is fine as long as its not too graphic. You definitely also 
tied it to blindness too! As with many things, people learn via observation 
where as we depend on someone else for such info.
We cannot just go in and browse a store for such private stuff and as you 
said we often depend on a parent or someone else for transportation.
I know I do because where I live there is no sidewalk to walk to a bus, or I 
can get paratransit.

I was also going to suggest buying condoms online or with a trusted friend. 
Thanks also for the websites on preventing
pregnancy and STDS as this is something I wanted to research.

Also, regarding medical appointments, I struggled there too. I was driven 
there and had a parent assist me in filling out forms there. I am still fine 
with that.
Oh on another note, with touch screens now, its nearly impossible to walk 
into a clinic alone. In my area, the walk in clinics at the pharmacy have 
you sign in via a touch screen with personal information.
I want a trusted person such as a family member taking me there because 
there is no way I'd want to reveal such private info such as date of birth 
or social security number or the name of my insurance provider to a 
stranger!
I also had a parent take me into the doctors for a long time. Finally I 
insisted as you did that they wait for me. I felt as you do that I have a 
right to
medical privacy and that there was no need for them to discuss such info 
with them. Besides I am pretty healthy and only take one med and over the 
counter stuff on occasion, so
there really isn't much for them to know about.

Good to know. I'm not the only one that had to assert some independence.

Ashley


-----Original Message----- 
From: Arielle Silverman
Sent: Saturday, September 08, 2012 1:00 PM
To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Subject: [nabs-l] condoms and Sexual Health

Hi all,
I know the recent discussions about sex and dating are kind of in a
gray area as to whether or not they're on-topic for this list, since
most of the issues Koby brought up are not really unique to blindness.
So if the moderators or Dave feel this is getting too far afield, I
will happily respect your judgment. However, I also think that
Brandon's question about where to get condoms is a legitimate one and
that there might be other blind people out here, including teenagers,
who have similar concerns about how to get condoms, birth control or
sexual health information without a lot of awkwardness or
embarrassment. It can be particularly difficult if you have to depend
on someone else (especially parents) for transportation which can make
going to a clinic or drugstore difficult.
There are a few places to buy condoms online, including
www.condomania.com
www.undercovercondoms.com
and
www.condomdepot.com
Believe it or not, they also have some condom choices at
www.amazon.com
If you go to your health center on campus for any reason, it shouldn't
be a problem  to ask a doctor or nurse there about condoms.
I cannot answer the questions about when to begin having sex with a
partner because that is a highly individual decision. However, I feel
it important that anyone who is considering having sex for the first
time ensure you understand what all of your options are for preventing
pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, the advantages and
disadvantages of each option, and the proper way to use condoms  and
birth control. There are  a couple different websites with this kind
of information:
www.plannedparenthood.org
(includes live chat with a sexual health educator) or
www.scarleteen.com
This issue is particularly close to my heart at the moment because my
boyfriend's sister just had an unintended pregnancy at a very
inopportune time (while still in college, with a guy she had only
known for a few months) and was apparently taking birth control pills,
but had not been taking them consistently. While I don't believe that
sex  should be feared, it is something that takes some responsibility,
planning and foresight to ensure it is enjoyable while minimizing the
risks. Also, while I won't go into details here, there are other ways
to be physically intimate with someone that are less risky, which
these online forums will talk about.
I also want to bring up  an issue that is somewhat relevant to sexual
health, which I experienced and I think that some of you might also be
struggling with. This is the issue of having your parents drive you to
doctors' appointments and then having them want to sit in or even
participate in your appointments. Since I attended college in my home
city, my mother always wanted to drive me to my doctors' appointments
and would then want to come in and chat with the doctor while he/she
was examining me. This was partly because my parents and I saw many of
the same doctors and she often thought it was a good opportunity to
ask the doctor a quick question about her own health while she was
there, or because she was curious to see what the doctor recommended
to me about a particular issue. I eventually realized that while it
wasn't ill-intentioned, it was a violation of my privacy as an adult
patient and I asked her to wait in the waiting room while I was seeing
the doctor. I didn't actually take this stand until I was 21 and in
hindsight I wish I had done  it much earlier. By the time you are 18,
unless you have a serious cognitive disability, you have a right to
privacy of your medical information and it is important to establish a
good doctor-patient relationship without a third person interfering.
This is especially true when it comes to sexual health and by the time
you are 18 or even 16, you will want to start discussing your sexual
activities or questions with your doctors without your parents being
around. You might also want to consider getting a driver or even
taking the bus to medical appointments to avoid this problem.
On a related note, by the time you are in high school, you should know
the names of all medications you take on  a regular basis and any
chronic medical conditions you may have. If you ever have to go to the
emergency room, this kind  of information may be requested of you.
Best,
Arielle

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