[nabs-l] adult discussions and high school students wasRE:Long-Distance Dating

Chris Nusbaum dotkid.nusbaum at gmail.com
Mon Sep 10 21:46:54 UTC 2012


Thank you, Danielle! I'm glad I'm not alone in thinking the way I 
do! :)

Chris



 ----- Original Message -----
From: Danielle Sykora <dsykora29 at gmail.com
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list 
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Sat, 8 Sep 2012 23:09:47 -0400
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] adult discussions and high school students 
wasRE:Long-Distance Dating

Hi Chris,
That is very well said.  As another high school, student I 
completely
agree with your statements.
Danielle

On 9/8/12, Chris Nusbaum <dotkid.nusbaum at gmail.com> wrote:
 Hi Desiree,

 That's very kind! Thank you!!

 Chris



  ----- Original Message -----
 From: Desiree Oudinot <turtlepower17 at gmail.com
 To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
 <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
 Date sent: Fri, 7 Sep 2012 23:54:03 -0400
 Subject: Re: [nabs-l] adult discussions and high school students
 was RE:Long-Distance Dating

 Hi Chris,
 Very well said! I'm really glad you have such a healthy attitude
 about
 this.  You certainly seem mature for your age and I applaud you
 for
 eloquently saying what I don't think I could have nearly as 
well.

 On 9/7/12, Chris Nusbaum <dotkid.nusbaum at gmail.com> wrote:
  Joshua,

  Please don't use me as a reason to tell somebody that a certain
 discussion
  can't be had on this list.  Although I'm not in a position to
 comment on
  Koby's original question because of my age and lack of
 experience on this
  topic, I do believe it is a valid question and one which is
 on-topic for
  this list, or at least for the list as it was intended to be.
 If a
  discussion about having sex as a blind person is not 
appropriate
 for a high
  school student such as myself to read, why do the high schools
 we go to
  offer sex education classes as part of their curricula? If we
 are not
  mature
  enough to even read a question which has any sort of sexual
 implication,
  why
  is time set aside during the school year to have class
 discussions about
  the
  truth about sex? If we are to be so sheltered as to never even
 learn the
  first thing about sex until we are full-grown adults, why are
 our parents
  encouraged by their children's schools and just about everybody
 else who
  knows anything about the education of children to teach their
 children
  about
  sex at an early age? We learn about sex, and our parents are
 encouraged
  (and
  often do) teach us about it because it is a fact of life; it is
 a part of
  the real world, whether you like it or not.  Too often young
 people as young
  as 13 or 14 are peer-pressured to have sex or to say or do
 something that
  has a sexual implication.  This is why I believe it is 
important
 that we
  learn about sex at an early age; the good, the bad, and the 
ugly
 of it.
  Then
  we will be able to make a truly informed decision as to what we
 will do in
  regards to sex.  Conversely, if we are sheltered, as you
 suggest, and don't
  learn the first thing about sex or similar subjects, we will 
not
 be
  properly
  prepared for the real world as it is today.  While it is
 important that
  parents teach their children morals, I believe it is equally
 important that
  they be honest with their children about what is really out
 there in the
  real world and the consequences of getting involved in things
 like sex at
  an
  early age.  While I appreciate your efforts to keep the list
 free of
  inappropriate discussion and protect me and our other high
 school students
  from inappropriate content, I feel that you are doing it to the
 extreme,
  borderlining over-protectedness and sheltering.  I joined this
 list as well
  as others knowing that I would be exposed to some parts of the
 real world
  which are somewhat adult in nature, but also knowing that I had
 the option
  not to comment on or follow those threads I felt uncomfortable
 with
  reading,
  and that there were many people on this list and others who are
 much older
  than I and therefore might talk about things I haven't been
 exposed to as
  much yet.  But I don't have a problem with this, as I respect
 everybody's
  right to freedom of speech.  In short, the fact of my being a
 high school
  student as well as a member of this list should not and (in my
 opinion)
  does
  not restrict the freedom of speech of any other member of this
 list to
  discuss what he/she wants to discuss, as long as it remains on
 topic for
  this list; that is, that it has something to do with blindness
 and/or being
  a student.  If the moderator feels that the discussion is
 off-topic, he is
  the one whose job it is to tell whoever started the discussion.
 But just
  don't use my age as support for your claim that something is
 inappropriate
  for this list.

  Chris Nusbaum

  -----Original Message-----
  From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org
 [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
  Behalf
  Of Joshua Lester
  Sent: Friday, September 07, 2012 9:47 PM
  To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
  Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating

  Koby: this is off topic, especially since there are high
 schoolers on here.
  Thanks, Joshua
  ________________________________________
  From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] on
 behalf of
  Koby [kobycox at gmail.com]
  Sent: Friday, September 07, 2012 8:42 PM
  To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
  Cc: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
  Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating

  All,
  What should I do If this girl wants to have sex when I see her?
  Koby
  Sent from my iPhone

  On Sep 6, 2012, at 12:53 AM, Beth <thebluesisloose at gmail.com
 wrote:

  Hi, Arielle and all,
     Jason is the love I thought I'd never have.  YEs, we get on
 each
  other's nerves.  YEs, he argues with me sometimes, but people
 call him no
  good, bad, really stupid, whuatever you say they say it about
 him.  I think
  Jason has a sweet side to him.  I love Jason so much and we met
 in June.
  His mom was able to pay for the flight, but I'm afraid she 
won't
 this
  December or so.  I'm trying to make it easy for her to pay for
 it again so
  I
  can be down there with him.  I want Jason to know that just
 because he's
  blind, heart issues and all that, that doesn't mean that his
 life is over.
  HE can marry, he can have a relationship, he can have kids if 
he
 so
  desires,
  and he may engage in sex if that's whuat he wants.  Some men 
are
 nervous
  about sex and relationships, even Jason.  But with the help of
 my coaxing
  and calm manner, he was able to enjoy himself with me.  At 
least
 he doesn't
  engage in the trade of child porn and other inappropriate 
things
 that
  sighted men would engage in.  He has a good sense of right and
 wrong.  He
  loves chocolate for breakfast.  (hee hee), though I prefer eggs
 myself.  If
  I
  look back and turn the clock back, I see that I have not made a
 bad choice
  as some are led to believe.  Honestly, I have insecurity 
issues,
 and I see
  myself at fault for a stupid email I sent to his mother because
 I was truly
  upset at sommething he did that was really inappropriate and I
 don't want
  to
  share with this list.  I love Jason no matter what he does to 
me
 or whuaft
  I
  do to him.  All I can do is say that it's emotionally trying 
not
 having
  Jason near me, but this relationship is good when the winds of
 good fortune
  blow in our direction.  Arielle, Im glad at least you have a
 good
  boyfriend.
  Btw, for all of us, how can I make up with Jason's family
 without sending
  an
  email?  I really want to see him again, and supposedly his mom
 resents me
  for sending that email.  That's the only thing about the
 relationship that
  I
  don't like very much.
  Beth

  ----- Original Message -----
  From: Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com
  To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
  <nabs-l at nfbnet.org Date sent: Wed, 5 Sep 2012 23:01:32 -0600
  Subject: [nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating

  Hi all,
  Cindy, I generally agree with you about keeping this list to
  blindness-related discussions.  However, I do think
 long-distance
  dating issues like the one Koby brought up are perhaps more
 relevant
  to us blind students than they are for sighted students,
 especially
  those of us who are involved in the NFB.  This is because, for
 many
  reasons, some of us want to date other blind/NFB people and
 because
  our community is so spread out, we may often end up in similar
  situations where we have to decide if we want to enter a
 long-distance
  relationship with someone we know from this community.  So I'd
 like to
  offer a brief response on-list and hope that others in similar
  situations might find it helpful.
  During college I was in a long-distance relationship with
 someone I
  met through NFB for about a year.  In hindsight I do not regret
 that
  decision at all.  I had fun, learned a lot and he and I are
 still
  friends.  I will also say that parts of it were emotionally 
very
 hard
  to deal with--in my particular case an airplane ticket between
 my
  location and his cost nearly $500 and we did not see each other
 for
  five months, which was emotionally trying at times.  I do not
 think I
  would do another long-distance relationship and my current
 boyfriend
  and I will be making an effort to ensure we will not have to be
 living
  in separate places for any length of time.  However, again, I
 enjoyed
  the one experience I had overall and learned a lot from it.  I
 think if
  you and this girl really like each other and you can find a way
 to see
  each other on a somewhat regular basis, there's no harm in
 trying and
  you can always decide later on to just be friends.  However, it
 is
  something to give a little serious thought to before you make
 that
  kind of commitment.  You also want to talk with her and make
 sure that
  the two of you have similar expectations for how serious of a
  relationship this will be and how often you will be able to see
 each
  other.  It will be hard if one of you is much more enthused
 about the
  relationship than the other.  But if the two of you are
 generally on
  the same page and are really committed to it, it can be fun.
  Hope this helps,
  Arielle

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