[nabs-l] adult discussions and high school students was RE:Long-Distance Dating
Danielle Sykora
dsykora29 at gmail.com
Sun Sep 9 03:09:47 UTC 2012
Hi Chris,
That is very well said. As another high school, student I completely
agree with your statements.
Danielle
On 9/8/12, Chris Nusbaum <dotkid.nusbaum at gmail.com> wrote:
> Hi Desiree,
>
> That's very kind! Thank you!!
>
> Chris
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Desiree Oudinot <turtlepower17 at gmail.com
> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> Date sent: Fri, 7 Sep 2012 23:54:03 -0400
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] adult discussions and high school students
> was RE:Long-Distance Dating
>
> Hi Chris,
> Very well said! I'm really glad you have such a healthy attitude
> about
> this. You certainly seem mature for your age and I applaud you
> for
> eloquently saying what I don't think I could have nearly as well.
>
> On 9/7/12, Chris Nusbaum <dotkid.nusbaum at gmail.com> wrote:
> Joshua,
>
> Please don't use me as a reason to tell somebody that a certain
> discussion
> can't be had on this list. Although I'm not in a position to
> comment on
> Koby's original question because of my age and lack of
> experience on this
> topic, I do believe it is a valid question and one which is
> on-topic for
> this list, or at least for the list as it was intended to be.
> If a
> discussion about having sex as a blind person is not appropriate
> for a high
> school student such as myself to read, why do the high schools
> we go to
> offer sex education classes as part of their curricula? If we
> are not
> mature
> enough to even read a question which has any sort of sexual
> implication,
> why
> is time set aside during the school year to have class
> discussions about
> the
> truth about sex? If we are to be so sheltered as to never even
> learn the
> first thing about sex until we are full-grown adults, why are
> our parents
> encouraged by their children's schools and just about everybody
> else who
> knows anything about the education of children to teach their
> children
> about
> sex at an early age? We learn about sex, and our parents are
> encouraged
> (and
> often do) teach us about it because it is a fact of life; it is
> a part of
> the real world, whether you like it or not. Too often young
> people as young
> as 13 or 14 are peer-pressured to have sex or to say or do
> something that
> has a sexual implication. This is why I believe it is important
> that we
> learn about sex at an early age; the good, the bad, and the ugly
> of it.
> Then
> we will be able to make a truly informed decision as to what we
> will do in
> regards to sex. Conversely, if we are sheltered, as you
> suggest, and don't
> learn the first thing about sex or similar subjects, we will not
> be
> properly
> prepared for the real world as it is today. While it is
> important that
> parents teach their children morals, I believe it is equally
> important that
> they be honest with their children about what is really out
> there in the
> real world and the consequences of getting involved in things
> like sex at
> an
> early age. While I appreciate your efforts to keep the list
> free of
> inappropriate discussion and protect me and our other high
> school students
> from inappropriate content, I feel that you are doing it to the
> extreme,
> borderlining over-protectedness and sheltering. I joined this
> list as well
> as others knowing that I would be exposed to some parts of the
> real world
> which are somewhat adult in nature, but also knowing that I had
> the option
> not to comment on or follow those threads I felt uncomfortable
> with
> reading,
> and that there were many people on this list and others who are
> much older
> than I and therefore might talk about things I haven't been
> exposed to as
> much yet. But I don't have a problem with this, as I respect
> everybody's
> right to freedom of speech. In short, the fact of my being a
> high school
> student as well as a member of this list should not and (in my
> opinion)
> does
> not restrict the freedom of speech of any other member of this
> list to
> discuss what he/she wants to discuss, as long as it remains on
> topic for
> this list; that is, that it has something to do with blindness
> and/or being
> a student. If the moderator feels that the discussion is
> off-topic, he is
> the one whose job it is to tell whoever started the discussion.
> But just
> don't use my age as support for your claim that something is
> inappropriate
> for this list.
>
> Chris Nusbaum
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org
> [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf
> Of Joshua Lester
> Sent: Friday, September 07, 2012 9:47 PM
> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating
>
> Koby: this is off topic, especially since there are high
> schoolers on here.
> Thanks, Joshua
> ________________________________________
> From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] on
> behalf of
> Koby [kobycox at gmail.com]
> Sent: Friday, September 07, 2012 8:42 PM
> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> Cc: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating
>
> All,
> What should I do If this girl wants to have sex when I see her?
> Koby
> Sent from my iPhone
>
> On Sep 6, 2012, at 12:53 AM, Beth <thebluesisloose at gmail.com>
> wrote:
>
> Hi, Arielle and all,
> Jason is the love I thought I'd never have. YEs, we get on
> each
> other's nerves. YEs, he argues with me sometimes, but people
> call him no
> good, bad, really stupid, whuatever you say they say it about
> him. I think
> Jason has a sweet side to him. I love Jason so much and we met
> in June.
> His mom was able to pay for the flight, but I'm afraid she won't
> this
> December or so. I'm trying to make it easy for her to pay for
> it again so
> I
> can be down there with him. I want Jason to know that just
> because he's
> blind, heart issues and all that, that doesn't mean that his
> life is over.
> HE can marry, he can have a relationship, he can have kids if he
> so
> desires,
> and he may engage in sex if that's whuat he wants. Some men are
> nervous
> about sex and relationships, even Jason. But with the help of
> my coaxing
> and calm manner, he was able to enjoy himself with me. At least
> he doesn't
> engage in the trade of child porn and other inappropriate things
> that
> sighted men would engage in. He has a good sense of right and
> wrong. He
> loves chocolate for breakfast. (hee hee), though I prefer eggs
> myself. If
> I
> look back and turn the clock back, I see that I have not made a
> bad choice
> as some are led to believe. Honestly, I have insecurity issues,
> and I see
> myself at fault for a stupid email I sent to his mother because
> I was truly
> upset at sommething he did that was really inappropriate and I
> don't want
> to
> share with this list. I love Jason no matter what he does to me
> or whuaft
> I
> do to him. All I can do is say that it's emotionally trying not
> having
> Jason near me, but this relationship is good when the winds of
> good fortune
> blow in our direction. Arielle, Im glad at least you have a
> good
> boyfriend.
> Btw, for all of us, how can I make up with Jason's family
> without sending
> an
> email? I really want to see him again, and supposedly his mom
> resents me
> for sending that email. That's the only thing about the
> relationship that
> I
> don't like very much.
> Beth
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com
> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org Date sent: Wed, 5 Sep 2012 23:01:32 -0600
> Subject: [nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating
>
> Hi all,
> Cindy, I generally agree with you about keeping this list to
> blindness-related discussions. However, I do think
> long-distance
> dating issues like the one Koby brought up are perhaps more
> relevant
> to us blind students than they are for sighted students,
> especially
> those of us who are involved in the NFB. This is because, for
> many
> reasons, some of us want to date other blind/NFB people and
> because
> our community is so spread out, we may often end up in similar
> situations where we have to decide if we want to enter a
> long-distance
> relationship with someone we know from this community. So I'd
> like to
> offer a brief response on-list and hope that others in similar
> situations might find it helpful.
> During college I was in a long-distance relationship with
> someone I
> met through NFB for about a year. In hindsight I do not regret
> that
> decision at all. I had fun, learned a lot and he and I are
> still
> friends. I will also say that parts of it were emotionally very
> hard
> to deal with--in my particular case an airplane ticket between
> my
> location and his cost nearly $500 and we did not see each other
> for
> five months, which was emotionally trying at times. I do not
> think I
> would do another long-distance relationship and my current
> boyfriend
> and I will be making an effort to ensure we will not have to be
> living
> in separate places for any length of time. However, again, I
> enjoyed
> the one experience I had overall and learned a lot from it. I
> think if
> you and this girl really like each other and you can find a way
> to see
> each other on a somewhat regular basis, there's no harm in
> trying and
> you can always decide later on to just be friends. However, it
> is
> something to give a little serious thought to before you make
> that
> kind of commitment. You also want to talk with her and make
> sure that
> the two of you have similar expectations for how serious of a
> relationship this will be and how often you will be able to see
> each
> other. It will be hard if one of you is much more enthused
> about the
> relationship than the other. But if the two of you are
> generally on
> the same page and are really committed to it, it can be fun.
> Hope this helps,
> Arielle
>
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