[nabs-l] condoms and Sexual Health

Chris Nusbaum dotkid.nusbaum at gmail.com
Fri Sep 14 21:04:05 UTC 2012


Hi Arielle,

I, for one, have never even seen a condom to know what one feels 
like, so I'm kind of curious as to what a condom really is and 
what it looks like.  This may be because of my age, but I don't 
think it is entirely that.  If we were to take a survey of 
sighted high school students, probably a good many of them have 
seen a condom or could at least describe what one looks like, all 
weirdness and uncomfortable feelings aside.  So, I really like 
your idea of doing a breakout session either at Washington 
Seminar or at another NABS/NFB event.  Perhaps the NABS board 
could start by submitting the idea to the state NABS Presidents 
to see if they would be interested in doing such a breakout 
session at their respective state student seminars.  While there 
is some truth to Carly's point that sex is a fact of life for 
everybody, I also believe that blind people, particularly blind 
students, don't get the exposure to sex and related things that 
sighted students get.  This is partly because we're not able to 
see the visual models and representations that sighted students 
are seeing.  Some of them can be reproduced into a tactile 
graphic, but I think you'd be hard-pressed to find a tactile 
graphic of a condom.  Therefore, if NABS could do something in 
this area, either on the state or national level, I think it 
would be a great help to those blind students who are curious 
about safe sex as a blind person.

Chris

----- Original Message -----
From: Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list 
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Mon, 10 Sep 2012 21:18:00 -0600
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] condoms and Sexual Health

Hi all,
I have joked in the past about how NABS should sell Brailled 
Whozit
condoms at convention! Kidding aside, though, there are probably 
some
NFB leaders with more conservative leanings, who might feel that 
NABS
selling condoms at convention would be promoting sexual activity 
among
young or unmarried blind students.  I don't agree with that 
position,
but some people do and since anything NABS does is, by extension, 
an
NFB-sanctioned event, we would need to balance the benefits of
providing condoms against possibly upsetting the NFB leadership 
or
bringing on an unwanted political debate.
I would be more likely to support a NABS breakout session, at
Washington Seminar or elsewhere, about sexuality in general, and
perhaps include an opportunity to try putting a condom on the
proverbial banana or some such.  When I was 15, I went to a 
diversity
camp (for sighted teens) and there was a sexuality workshop 
available
as one of several choices.  They passed around condoms and in 
fact,
this was the first time I actually felt one.  A general workshop 
about
sex, dating and etiquette, etc.  might be worth having.
Arielle

On 9/10/12, Brandon Keith Biggs <brandonkeithbiggs at gmail.com> 
wrote:
 Hello,
 This would be an awesome idea! Not only because many people have 
never seen

 a condom, so they could finger the packages with labels without 
having to be

 embarrassed, but when I was at the hotel I didn't run into any 
condoms in
 the store.  Granted I wasn't looking for them, but I was 
browsing...  Condoms,

 lube and Dental Dams, all labeled in Braille! We would also 
probably need to

 provide guides for people on how to find the right way to put on 
a condom or

 use a dental dam.
 Another thing I didn't see at the NABS table is hot serial.  The 
packing
 guide in the nabs newsletter  said to pack a ton of things and I 
for one
 don't keep hot serial in the house and I don't shop at places 
that sell hot

 serial, so wasn't able to grab a box.  But I would have loved to 
buy a box
 for even $10 or more, the breakfasts there were $10 alone...  
(Then of course

 we could sell bole and spoon packs for the poor folks who didn't 
bring their

 own utensil's).
 Thanks,

 Brandon Keith Biggs
 -----Original Message-----
 From: Anmol Bhatia
 Sent: Monday, September 10, 2012 8:28 AM
 To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
 Subject: Re: [nabs-l] condoms and Sexual Health


 You would be a good place to sell and buy condoms? At the NFB 
convention...

 Perhaps Nabs should sell condoms at the NABS table.  We can even 
braille them

 so the perso can know what kind of condoms they have.  lol

 Anmol

 I seldom think about my limitations, and they never make me sad.  
Perhaps
 there is just a touch of yearning at times; but it is vague, 
like a breeze
 among flowers.
 Hellen Keller


 --- On Sun, 9/9/12, Carly Mihalakis <carlymih at comcast.net> 
wrote:

 From: Carly Mihalakis <carlymih at comcast.net
 Subject: Re: [nabs-l] condoms and Sexual Health
 To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
 <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>, "National Association of Blind Students 
mailing list"

 <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
 Date: Sunday, September 9, 2012, 10:54 PM
 Hi, Brandon,

 I went into a place in Denver to  buy a dildo yes, on
 the bigger, ribbed side to use in the old fashioned bath tub
 I had at the time, to get myself off with the faucet.
 Traditionally, I need something in my ass, to cum.  If I
 remember, the folks in their wer very cool, look at the
 blind girl going to by herself a dildo! Don't worry! If
 you're relaxed, and cool about what you're doing so will be
 the bookstore, personnel.  Let us know how goes it,
 okay?  At 04:52 PM 9/8/2012, SA Mobile wrote:
 Those are the best places to get stuff as the staff are
 professional and are trained to make customers feel at ease.
 Just make sure the shop is of good repute.

 Respectfully,
 Jedi

 Sent from my iPhone

 On 08/09/2012, at 12:36 PM, "Brandon Keith Biggs"
 <brandonkeithbiggs at gmail.com
 wrote:

 Hello,
 Thank goodness my father was a nurse and when I
 turned 18, he said addio to being in with me at the doctor.
 I do find it amusing though that some doctors are actually
 really uncomfortable touching me because I'm blind...  That
 only happened after my dad started leaving the room.
 Thank you Arielle for those websites.  I don't feel
 that condoms are something I want to buy from a website I've
 never heard of before unless someone I know has gotten or
 knows that site is trust worthy.
 I was told that flavored condoms were only to be
 used in oral intercourse.  The same is not for lube I
 presume?
 Also, has anyone ever gone into a sex store? How
 was it as a blind shopper? Even from sighted people I hear
 the experience is often not pleasant.
 Thanks,

 Brandon Keith Biggs
 -----Original Message----- From: Arielle
 Silverman
 Sent: Saturday, September 08, 2012 10:00 AM
 To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
 Subject: [nabs-l] condoms and Sexual Health

 Hi all,
 I know the recent discussions about sex and dating
 are kind of in a
 gray area as to whether or not they're on-topic
 for this list, since
 most of the issues Koby brought up are not really
 unique to blindness.
 So if the moderators or Dave feel this is getting
 too far afield, I
 will happily respect your judgment.  However, I
 also think that
 Brandon's question about where to get condoms is a
 legitimate one and
 that there might be other blind people out here,
 including teenagers,
 who have similar concerns about how to get
 condoms, birth control or
 sexual health information without a lot of
 awkwardness or
 embarrassment.  It can be particularly difficult if
 you have to depend
 on someone else (especially parents) for
 transportation which can make
 going to a clinic or drugstore difficult.
 There are a few places to buy condoms online,
 including
 www.condomania.com
 www.undercovercondoms.com
 and
 www.condomdepot.com
 Believe it or not, they also have some condom
 choices at
 www.amazon.com
 If you go to your health center on campus for any
 reason, it shouldn't
 be a problem  to ask a doctor or nurse there
 about condoms.
 I cannot answer the questions about when to begin
 having sex with a
 partner because that is a highly individual
 decision.  However, I feel
 it important that anyone who is considering having
 sex for the first
 time ensure you understand what all of your
 options are for preventing
 pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, the
 advantages and
 disadvantages of each option, and the proper way
 to use condoms  and
 birth control.  There are  a couple different
 websites with this kind
 of information:
 www.plannedparenthood.org
 (includes live chat with a sexual health educator)
 or
 www.scarleteen.com
 This issue is particularly close to my heart at
 the moment because my
 boyfriend's sister just had an unintended
 pregnancy at a very
 inopportune time (while still in college, with a
 guy she had only
 known for a few months) and was apparently taking
 birth control pills,
 but had not been taking them consistently.  While I
 don't believe that
 sex  should be feared, it is something that
 takes some responsibility,
 planning and foresight to ensure it is enjoyable
 while minimizing the
 risks.  Also, while I won't go into details here,
 there are other ways
 to be physically intimate with someone that are
 less risky, which
 these online forums will talk about.
 I also want to bring up  an issue that is
 somewhat relevant to sexual
 health, which I experienced and I think that some
 of you might also be
 struggling with.  This is the issue of having your
 parents drive you to
 doctors' appointments and then having them want to
 sit in or even
 participate in your appointments.  Since I attended
 college in my home
 city, my mother always wanted to drive me to my
 doctors' appointments
 and would then want to come in and chat with the
 doctor while he/she
 was examining me.  This was partly because my
 parents and I saw many of
 the same doctors and she often thought it was a
 good opportunity to
 ask the doctor a quick question about her own
 health while she was
 there, or because she was curious to see what the
 doctor recommended
 to me about a particular issue.  I eventually
 realized that while it
 wasn't ill-intentioned, it was a violation of my
 privacy as an adult
 patient and I asked her to wait in the waiting
 room while I was seeing
 the doctor.  I didn't actually take this stand
 until I was 21 and in
 hindsight I wish I had done  it much earlier.
 By the time you are 18,
 unless you have a serious cognitive disability,
 you have a right to
 privacy of your medical information and it is
 important to establish a
 good doctor-patient relationship without a third
 person interfering.
 This is especially true when it comes to sexual
 health and by the time
 you are 18 or even 16, you will want to start
 discussing your sexual
 activities or questions with your doctors without
 your parents being
 around.  You might also want to consider getting a
 driver or even
 taking the bus to medical appointments to avoid
 this problem.
 On a related note, by the time you are in high
 school, you should know
 the names of all medications you take on  a
 regular basis and any
 chronic medical conditions you may have.  If you
 ever have to go to the
 emergency room, this kind  of information may
 be requested of you.
 Best,
 Arielle

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