[nabs-l] social norms: how we can fit in with sighted societyatsocial gatherings
Littlefield, Tyler
tyler at tysdomain.com
Thu Sep 20 14:30:09 UTC 2012
There's no other way to do it. If you can make someone laugh, you're
pretty much set. It makes them feel 100 times more comfortable.
On 9/20/2012 6:26 AM, Carly Mihalakis wrote:
> Good morning, Tyler,
>
> I like your additude. My partner Robin and I traverse our community of
> Berkeley, California making people laugh so hopefully, putting them at
> ease. we try not to bitch about terminology, just not using the
> offending terminology but letting it go if they do. /19/2012, Joshua
> Lester wrote:
>> I just hate being around ignorant people!
>> That's my problem!
>> Blessings, Joshua
>> ________________________________________
>> From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] on behalf
>> of Littlefield, Tyler [tyler at tysdomain.com]
>> Sent: Wednesday, September 19, 2012 11:44 PM
>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] social norms: how we can fit in with sighted
>> societyatsocial gatherings
>>
>> You know, maybe it's just all my personal charm or something, but I have
>> had the weird "have you watched... ur I mean listened to..." and I just
>> correct them and life goes on. If you explode because someone says
>> something about watching TV people are going to feel awkward. Maybe part
>> of it is I'm not totally anal and I can laugh, rather than bitch about
>> how I'm mistreated and alienated from the mean hurtful sighted world and
>> how they always laugh at me. Everyone's going to get pushed aside, and
>> things are harder if you're blind. It's not the end of the world.
>> On 9/19/2012 10:08 PM, Joshua Lester wrote:
>> > I always say listening to the tv, because when I say, "Watching
>> TV," I get, "How do you watch it?"
>> > When that happens, people start laughing, like it's some big joke!
>> > It gets old!
>> > Blessings, Joshua
>> >
>> > ________________________________________
>> > From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] on
>> behalf of Desiree Oudinot [turtlepower17 at gmail.com]
>> > Sent: Wednesday, September 19, 2012 11:00 PM
>> > To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>> > Subject: Re: [nabs-l] social norms: how we can fit in with sighted
>> societyatsocial gatherings
>> >
>> > Listening to TV, huh? Could this not be a lesson in precisely what
>> > we're discussing here? If we want to fit into the sighted world, we'd
>> > do well to say we're watching TV or a movie like everyone else. I hate
>> > it when someone gets all flustered and up in arms when they can't
>> > think of a politically correct way to ask us blind folks what shows we
>> > like, or worse yet, if we can enjoy the cinema at all. you're not
>> > helping by spurring that misconception on.
>> >
>> > On 9/19/12, Sarah <coastergirl92 at gmail.com> wrote:
>> >> Hello everyone, my name is Sarah. I am bj years old. I just
>> >> graduated a program called D.P.I. Davidson Program For
>> >> Independence. I had to go there because Guide Dogs Of the Desert
>> >> said I had to go. So I graduated from there, tomorrow I go get
>> >> my first guide dog! My interests are rides, reading, listening to
>> >> tv, dogs and horses
>> >>
>> >> ----- Original Message -----
>> >> From: "Brandon Keith Biggs" <brandonkeithbiggs at gmail.com
>> >> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>> >> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>> >> Date sent: Wed, 19 Sep 2012 13:48:32 -0700
>> >> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] social norms: how we can fit in with
>> >> sighted societyatsocial gatherings
>> >>
>> >> Hello,
>> >> There are quite a few ideas that are universal through out
>> >> cultures.
>> >> For example, it is never socially acceptable to sway in
>> >> conversation. It is
>> >> only acceptable to rock back and forth mildly when playing guitar
>> >> or more
>> >> heavily when one is studying the old testament as a Jew.
>> >> Otherwise chin up, strait and relaxed stillness for the torso
>> >> almost always.
>> >>
>> >> Also, facial expressions are almost constant through out all
>> >> cultures. A
>> >> smile is always happy, big eyes are innocents or raised eyebrows,
>> >> big eyes
>> >> with mouth a little open is startled or scared.
>> >> Beckoning is also a very universal gesture with the fist out in
>> >> front facing
>> >> up with the index finger moving up and down like the person is a
>> >> balloon and
>> >> the string is on your finger...
>> >>
>> >> Fit me in or something along that lines is more inclusive because
>> >> it means
>> >> one can ask about fitting in to their theater group, dance teem,
>> >> glee club,
>> >> getting in a relationship, dating...
>> >>
>> >> I am not sure how people are expecting to fit into a sighted
>> >> world without
>> >> some sighted help.
>> >> Although I am guessing that the way the list will pan out is more
>> >> blind
>> >> people asking questions and both blind people and a few TVIs or
>> >> parents will
>> >> help. I am on a couple lists with quite a few sighted people and
>> >> with
>> >> questions like this they are invaluable...
>> >> Who knew that hugging yourself with your hands in a fist over
>> >> your heart, as
>> >> if you were trying to keep warm, actually looks like you are
>> >> terrified of
>> >> something?
>> >> Thanks,
>> >>
>> >> Brandon Keith Biggs
>> >> -----Original Message-----
>> >> From: Arielle Silverman
>> >> Sent: Wednesday, September 19, 2012 12:24 PM
>> >> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>> >> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] social norms: how we can fit in with
>> >> sighted societyat
>> >> social gatherings
>> >>
>> >> Hi all,
>> >> Sorry to be difficult but I am not willing to join a listserv
>> >> called
>> >> "Being Socially Acceptable Blind" or "Looking Sighted". Both
>> >> names
>> >> imply that all sighted people look and act the same or that
>> >> there is
>> >> only one way to be socially acceptable; these are notions that,
>> >> frankly, I believe are offensive to blind and sighted people
>> >> both.
>> >> I believe such a listserv should be intended to be a
>> >> nonjudgmental
>> >> forum where blind folks can ask questions or share frustrations
>> >> and
>> >> get supportive answers from blind peers and blind mentors, not a
>> >> place
>> >> where subscribers are told they must look and act a certain way.
>> >> Also,
>> >> while we might let TVI's join if they want, I think the vast
>> >> majority
>> >> of the subscribers should be blind people and we should keep
>> >> teachers
>> >> and authority figures to a minimum.
>> >> I'd support a name like "blind-fitting in", "blind-social" or
>> >> "blind-dating" perhaps.
>> >> If the group is created with a tolerant, non-judgmental name I'd
>> >> be
>> >> happy to help out with it.
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> On 9/19/12, Brandon Keith Biggs <brandonkeithbiggs at gmail.com>
>> >> wrote:
>> >> Names:
>> >> See me blind (SEM at blah.whatever)
>> >> Being Socially acceptable blind (SEB)
>> >> Looking Sighted (LS or LSighted)
>> >> talk sightless (TSightless)
>> >>
>> >> Just some names...
>> >> Thanks,
>> >>
>> >> Brandon Keith Biggs
>> >> -----Original Message-----
>> >> From: Desiree Oudinot
>> >> Sent: Wednesday, September 19, 2012 10:48 AM
>> >> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>> >> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] social norms: how we can fit in with
>> >> sighted
>> >> societyat
>> >>
>> >> social gatherings
>> >>
>> >> That's actually a pretty good idea for a name. That was the
>> >> only thing
>> >> holding me back from creating a group, the fact I couldn't
>> >> really
>> >> think of a name for it. As for making a website, that would be
>> >> a cool
>> >> idea too, but I don't know html or anything, so I decided not to
>> >> go
>> >> that route.
>> >> Where I was going when I was talking about the different student
>> >> divisions was that I don't want it to become a point of
>> >> contension on
>> >> the list. I don't want people going to war over which
>> >> organization's
>> >> philosophy prepares people to deal with social and dating
>> >> situations
>> >> better. It's fine for people to be part of whatever they so
>> >> choose,
>> >> but I absolutely will not tolerate stereotypes about either one.
>> >> I
>> >> want it to be a safe place where people can feel open enough to
>> >> discuss such uncomfortable and embarrassing topics as their
>> >> social
>> >> awkwardness. If someone starts saying that joining the NFB
>> >> would help
>> >> them be more independent, or that the ACB is crap, well, what
>> >> will
>> >> that solve? I'm not a member of either, nor do I ever intend on
>> >> doing
>> >> so, so I feel that I could nip this stuff in the bud if it would
>> >> happen, and I'm not even saying it necessarily would become a
>> >> problem,
>> >> it's just something to consider.
>> >>
>> >> On 9/19/12, Brandon Keith Biggs <brandonkeithbiggs at gmail.com>
>> >> wrote:
>> >> Hello,
>> >> Frankly I don't know what the difference between the ACB's
>> >> student and
>> >> NFB's
>> >>
>> >> student division is. We are all dealing with exactly the same
>> >> things. So
>> >> I
>> >> really believe we should get our sighted parents, friends and
>> >> whatnot to
>> >> be
>> >>
>> >> on the list to answer questions we may have. Many TVIs would
>> >> jump at the
>> >> chance to be on a list serve devoted to socializing.
>> >> Just make a group, possibly:
>> >> bseb at googlegroups.com or something :). Being socially
>> >> acceptable blind or
>> >>
>> >> a
>> >>
>> >> cooler name LOL... Any ideas?
>> >> I even think this should have a website with different articles
>> >> that
>> >> someone
>> >>
>> >> can brows to answer any personal questions they may have.
>> >> Because this is
>> >> such a big issue.
>> >> Thanks,
>> >>
>> >> Brandon Keith Biggs
>> >> -----Original Message-----
>> >> From: Desiree Oudinot
>> >> Sent: Friday, September 14, 2012 9:29 PM
>> >> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>> >> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] social norms: how we can fit in with
>> >> sighted
>> >> societyat
>> >>
>> >> social gatherings
>> >>
>> >> And this is precisely why I wanted to create a separate list to
>> >> discuss these kinds of issues and more. And, at the risk of
>> >> offending
>> >> people, I wanted it to be a separate list, separate from the NFB
>> >> or
>> >> ACB, I wanted it to be the place for every blind person, no
>> >> matter
>> >> their political or social status or whatever, to discuss how
>> >> they fit
>> >> in with society. Why does it offend you that blind people,
>> >> whether
>> >> they be men or women, should try to do their best to interact as
>> >> sighted people do? Are there really specific guidelines we have
>> >> to
>> >> follow? I really want to understand this. I know as well as
>> >> anyone
>> >> what struggles we have to go through growing up just to be
>> >> treated
>> >> like human beings. First, we're blind people, then we're young,
>> >> and
>> >> the stereotypes surrounding young people of our generation are
>> >> just as
>> >> crippling as those surrounding being blind. So being dealt both
>> >> as our
>> >> hand in life is kind of a double whammy. I still struggle when
>> >> someone
>> >> actually treats me as an equal. I want to run away.
>> >>
>> >> On 9/14/12, Beth <thebluesisloose at gmail.com> wrote:
>> >> I've tried to avoid getting into this thread, but here goes:
>> >> 1. Blind people acting like sighted people scares the crap out
>> >> of
>> >> me because it just does for some reason.
>> >> 2. Girls' conformity rules are terrible: for instance, girls
>> >> shouldn't be scientists. What does that statement say about us
>> >> girls? Girls should be married to men with decent jobs. No, I
>> >> will not marry a man with any job so I can be taken care of, and
>> >> this isn't the friggin' 1800's. Girls and women can take care
>> >> of
>> >> themselves, and they can work and support families. Jason, my
>> >> current bf, does not work and can't do what society says, be a
>> >> man and work and get paid for the woman. Some societies demand
>> >> that all men work and women stay home. We, Americans though we
>> >> are, still have these demands on blind women. I as a blind
>> >> woman
>> >> cannot accept conformity or defeat due to womanhood. Since
>> >> Jason
>> >> can't work and follow society's rules of manhood, it's up to me
>> >> to do it. Girls should not always do typing, nursing, or
>> >> different "womanly" professions where they get paid less than
>> >> ordinary men. Jason, due to his disability, does not work. I,
>> >> due to mental illness, may never work. I want to work so bad,
>> >> but where? Goodwill is out of the question. I'm not working
>> >> for
>> >> nothing or low wages because I'm a woman. And no way will I
>> >> accept sexual harassment because I have breasts and different
>> >> organs inside me. I as a blind woman will not accept rules
>> >> saying "You will be taken care of. You will be a stay-at-home
>> >> wife. You will be poor." No way.
>> >> Beth
>> >>
>> >> ----- Original Message -----
>> >> From: Marc Workman <mworkman.lists at gmail.com
>> >> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>> >> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>> >> Date sent: Fri, 14 Sep 2012 20:37:00 -0600
>> >> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] social norms: how we can fit in with
>> >> sighted societyat social gatherings
>> >>
>> >> Chris wrote,
>> >> Therefore, it is important that we know the unwritten rules
>> >> which
>> >> our sighted society has made. If we don't know them and follow
>> >> them, what does that say about us as blind people? It says we
>> >> are
>> >> weird, different, abnormal, incompetent, dependent, etc.
>> >>
>> >> Alternatively, perhaps it says that those rules are not natural,
>> >> that they are the product of sighted people simply aping one
>> >> another, and that they are arbitrary. I believe that such
>> >> unwritten rules often needlessly cause huge amounts of anxiety,
>> >> self-loathing, and anguish.
>> >>
>> >> We had a similar discussion on this list some time ago,
>> >> particularly around the subject of so called "blindisms, and I
>> >> put that term in quotes as a way of acknowledging that it is
>> >> pejorative. I'm sure it could be found on line by anyone who is
>> >> interested.
>> >>
>> >> Personally, I would rather live in a world where blind people
>> >> are
>> >> accepted and respected not simply to the extent that they can
>> >> look and act like sighted people, but on the grounds that they
>> >> are human beings possessing dignity and as equally worthy of
>> >> respect as sighted people. The message shouldn't be, "hey, we
>> >> can
>> >> follow your rules, so you should accept us". Instead, the
>> >> message
>> >> should be, "we, like you, have many talents and weaknesses, feel
>> >> pleasure and pain, reach our full potential through the
>> >> formation
>> >> of deep and meaningful relationships with other human beings,
>> >> and
>> >> your failure to treat us with respect and as equals is unfair,
>> >> discriminatory, and immoral", to borrow from Mr. Lewis.
>> >>
>> >> By the way, I think this goes well beyond blind people fitting
>> >> into sighted society. We are constantly policing one another's
>> >> behaviour. Probably one of the more obvious examples of this
>> >> has
>> >> to do with gender. There are hundreds if not thousands of
>> >> mostly
>> >> unspoken rules about what makes a man a man and how real men
>> >> ought to behave, and there are twice as many concerning women.
>> >> These rules are enforced in subtle but effective ways, and the
>> >> result is often a great deal of suffering for anyone who cannot,
>> >> or chooses not to, conform. These gender rules are just as
>> >> arbitrary as those around sighted/blind behaviour, and the
>> >> effort
>> >> similarly should be to relax and remove such rules, not to more
>> >> explicitly and fervently teach boys and girls the so called
>> >> right
>> >> way to act.
>> >>
>> >> This is of course easier said than done, and failing to conform
>> >> does unfortunately often result in suffering, such as missed
>> >> social, volunteer, and employment opportunities. So I don't
>> >> judge
>> >> or condemn anyone who makes a serious effort to learn the
>> >> unwritten rules of sighted society, just as I don't judge
>> >> someone
>> >> who wants to spend all of his or her time reading medical
>> >> journals and desperately praying for a cure. It's hard being
>> >> blind in the particular society in which we live, and conforming
>> >> can make things a little bit easier. But I still think we
>> >> should
>> >> work more on changing attitudes and less on teaching blind
>> >> people
>> >> how to look and act like sighted people.
>> >>
>> >> Regards,
>> >>
>> >> Marc
>> >> On 2012-09-14, at 3:04 PM, Chris Nusbaum
>> >> <dotkid.nusbaum at gmail.com> wrote:
>> >>
>> >> Hi Brandon and all,
>> >>
>> >> I'm taking the liberty here to change the subject of this
>> >> thread, as if we're going to discuss the topic which Brandon has
>> >> brought up in his post, I think it would prevent confusion if we
>> >> changed the subject to reflect the actual topic of Brandon's
>> >> message.
>> >>
>> >> Brandon, your idea about the NFB conducting some kind of
>> >> instructional seminar or workshop on social norms and how we can
>> >> "fit in" with the sighted public is a great one! I think you
>> >> should talk with the NFB leadership about this! I believe NOPBC
>> >> (the parents division) has touched on this topic in their
>> >> seminars at conventions. One of the topics at the parents
>> >> seminar at the Maryland state convention is almost always social
>> >> skills, especially what sighted society has deemed socially
>> >> acceptable and how we as blind people can fit in at social
>> >> gatherings, conforming as best we can to the "norms" of society.
>> >> I believe this is arguably more important for blind students, as
>> >> we are often in social gatherings (or want to be in them) at our
>> >> schools, with our friends, or in our communities. Therefore, it
>> >> is important that we know the unwritten rules which our sighted
>> >> society has made. If we don't know them and follow them, what
>> >> does that say about us as blind people? It says we are weird,
>> >> different, abnormal, incompetent, dependent, etc. These are the
>> >> very adjectives we in the Federation have been working to cut
>> >> out
>> >> from the vocabulary of the public when in the context of
>> >> blindness and blind people. In other words, these are the very
>> >> things we don't want sighted people thinking about us. If this
>> >> is how sighted people perceive us, then it puts our ability to
>> >> get a job, volunteer in our community, and become first-class
>> >> citizens at risk. So, I think this would be a great thing for
>> >> the NFB to do, and one which I'm kind of surprised we're not
>> >> doing already. Also, since this is an important topic for blind
>> >> students, perhaps "social skills and norms" could be the topic
>> >> of
>> >> a future NABS membership call.
>> >>
>> >> Just my thoughts,
>> >>
>> >> Chris
>> >>
>> >> ----- Original Message -----
>> >> From: "Brandon Keith Biggs" <brandonkeithbiggs at gmail.com
>> >> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>> >> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>> >> Date sent: Mon, 10 Sep 2012 21:15:16 -0700
>> >> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] condoms and Sexual Health
>> >>
>> >> Hello,
>> >> We aren't promoting sex among students, we are promoting safe
>> >> sex. There is
>> >> a huge difference. If the student division is the only one
>> >> with
>> >> some
>> >> practical sense about sexual activities, I'm a little scared...
>> >> :)
>> >> I do agree though, sex, dating and excepted socializing among a
>> >> sighted
>> >> community is a very big topic that is often times ignored by
>> >> the
>> >> blind
>> >> community.
>> >> I have been told by sighted TVIs that many blind folks (youth
>> >> or
>> >> not) have
>> >> some very strange mannerisms and beliefs that are totally
>> >> against the grain
>> >> of sighted society. My mom in particular, who is a TVI, has
>> >> suggested that
>> >> the NFB should really give some instruction on how the sighted
>> >> world thinks.
>> >> Otherwise what will happen (and what has happened) is the world
>> >> looks at a
>> >> gathering of blind people and cringes because they are so
>> >> weird.
>> >> or a
>> >> sighted girl sees a blind guy and thinks she wants to talk to
>> >> him and when
>> >> she is about to sit down and say hi, the guy does something
>> >> really weird and
>> >> she turns around and walks a mile away.
>> >> This is a little different than the deal with the condoms, but
>> >> both sexual
>> >> health and social issues are topics that are very much in need
>> >> of attention
>> >> among blind individuals, and students in particular.
>> >> I feel strongly that having some active workshops on this that
>> >> aren't meant
>> >> to be uncomfortable, but still deal with the taboo problems
>> >> would greatly
>> >> improve convention.
>> >> Thank you,
>> >>
>> >> Brandon Keith Biggs
>> >> -----Original Message-----
>> >> From: Arielle Silverman
>> >> Sent: Monday, September 10, 2012 8:18 PM
>> >> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>> >> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] condoms and Sexual Health
>> >>
>> >> Hi all,
>> >> I have joked in the past about how NABS should sell Brailled
>> >> Whozit
>> >> condoms at convention! Kidding aside, though, there are
>> >> probably
>> >> some
>> >> NFB leaders with more conservative leanings, who might feel
>> >> that
>> >> NABS
>> >> selling condoms at convention would be promoting sexual
>> >> activity
>> >> among
>> >> young or unmarried blind students. I don't agree with that
>> >> position,
>> >> but some people do and since anything NABS does is, by
>> >> extension, an
>> >> NFB-sanctioned event, we would need to balance the benefits of
>> >> providing condoms against possibly upsetting the NFB leadership
>> >> or
>> >> bringing on an unwanted political debate.
>> >> I would be more likely to support a NABS breakout session, at
>> >> Washington Seminar or elsewhere, about sexuality in general,
>> >> and
>> >> perhaps include an opportunity to try putting a condom on the
>> >> proverbial banana or some such. When I was 15, I went to a
>> >> diversity
>> >> camp (for sighted teens) and there was a sexuality workshop
>> >> available
>> >> as one of several choices. They passed around condoms and in
>> >> fact,
>> >> this was the first time I actually felt one. A general
>> >> workshop
>> >> about
>> >> sex, dating and etiquette, etc. might be worth having.
>> >> Arielle
>> >>
>> >> On 9/10/12, Brandon Keith Biggs <brandonkeithbiggs at gmail.com
>> >> wrote:
>> >> Hello,
>> >> This would be an awesome idea! Not only because many people
>> >> have
>> >> never
>> >> seen
>> >>
>> >> a condom, so they could finger the packages with labels without
>> >> having to
>> >> be
>> >>
>> >> embarrassed, but when I was at the hotel I didn't run into any
>> >> condoms in
>> >> the store. Granted I wasn't looking for them, but I was
>> >> browsing...
>> >> Condoms,
>> >>
>> >> lube and Dental Dams, all labeled in Braille! We would also
>> >> probably need
>> >> to
>> >>
>> >> provide guides for people on how to find the right way to put
>> >> on
>> >> a condom
>> >> or
>> >>
>> >> use a dental dam.
>> >> Another thing I didn't see at the NABS table is hot serial.
>> >> The
>> >> packing
>> >> guide in the nabs newsletter said to pack a ton of things and
>> >> I
>> >> for one
>> >> don't keep hot serial in the house and I don't shop at places
>> >> that sell
>> >> hot
>> >>
>> >> serial, so wasn't able to grab a box. But I would have loved
>> >> to
>> >> buy a box
>> >> for even $10 or more, the breakfasts there were $10 alone...
>> >> (Then of
>> >> course
>> >>
>> >> we could sell bole and spoon packs for the poor folks who
>> >> didn't
>> >> bring
>> >> their
>> >>
>> >> own utensil's).
>> >> Thanks,
>> >>
>> >> Brandon Keith Biggs
>> >> -----Original Message-----
>> >> From: Anmol Bhatia
>> >> Sent: Monday, September 10, 2012 8:28 AM
>> >> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>> >> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] condoms and Sexual Health
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> You would be a good place to sell and buy condoms? At the NFB
>> >> convention...
>> >>
>> >> Perhaps Nabs should sell condoms at the NABS table. We can
>> >> even
>> >> braille
>> >> them
>> >>
>> >> so the perso can know what kind of condoms they have. lol
>> >>
>> >> Anmol
>> >>
>> >> I seldom think about my limitations, and they never make me
>> >> sad.
>> >> Perhaps
>> >> there is just a touch of yearning at times; but it is vague,
>> >> like a breeze
>> >> among flowers.
>> >> Hellen Keller
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> --- On Sun, 9/9/12, Carly Mihalakis <carlymih at comcast.net
>> >> wrote:
>> >>
>> >> From: Carly Mihalakis <carlymih at comcast.net
>> >> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] condoms and Sexual Health
>> >> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>> >> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>, "National Association of Blind Students
>> >> mailing
>> >> list"
>> >>
>> >> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>> >> Date: Sunday, September 9, 2012, 10:54 PM
>> >> Hi, Brandon,
>> >>
>> >> I went into a place in Denver to buy a dildo yes, on
>> >> the bigger, ribbed side to use in the old fashioned bath tub
>> >> I had at the time, to get myself off with the faucet.
>> >> Traditionally, I need something in my ass, to cum. If I
>> >> remember, the folks in their wer very cool, look at the
>> >> blind girl going to by herself a dildo! Don't worry! If
>> >> you're relaxed, and cool about what you're doing so will be
>> >> the bookstore, personnel. Let us know how goes it,
>> >> okay? At 04:52 PM 9/8/2012, SA Mobile wrote:
>> >> Those are the best places to get stuff as the staff are
>> >> professional and are trained to make customers feel at ease.
>> >> Just make sure the shop is of good repute.
>> >>
>> >> Respectfully,
>> >> Jedi
>> >>
>> >> Sent from my iPhone
>> >>
>> >> On 08/09/2012, at 12:36 PM, "Brandon Keith Biggs"
>> >> <brandonkeithbiggs at gmail.com
>> >> wrote:
>> >>
>> >> Hello,
>> >> Thank goodness my father was a nurse and when I
>> >> turned 18, he said addio to being in with me at the doctor.
>> >> I do find it amusing though that some doctors are actually
>> >> really uncomfortable touching me because I'm blind... That
>> >> only happened after my dad started leaving the room.
>> >> Thank you Arielle for those websites. I don't feel
>> >> that condoms are something I want to buy from a website I've
>> >> never heard of before unless someone I know has gotten or
>> >> knows that site is trust worthy.
>> >> I was told that flavored condoms were only to be
>> >> used in oral intercourse. The same is not for lube I
>> >> presume?
>> >> Also, has anyone ever gone into a sex store? How
>> >> was it as a blind shopper? Even from sighted people I hear
>> >> the experience is often not pleasant.
>> >> Thanks,
>> >>
>> >> Brandon Keith Biggs
>> >> -----Original Message----- From: Arielle
>> >> Silverman
>> >> Sent: Saturday, September 08, 2012 10:00 AM
>> >> To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>> >> Subject: [nabs-l] condoms and Sexual Health
>> >>
>> >> Hi all,
>> >> I know the recent discussions about sex and dating
>> >> are kind of in a
>> >> gray area as to whether or not they're on-topic
>> >> for this list, since
>> >> most of the issues Koby brought up are not really
>> >> unique to blindness.
>> >> So if the moderators or Dave feel this is getting
>> >> too far afield, I
>> >> will happily respect your judgment. However, I
>> >> also think that
>> >> Brandon's question about where to get condoms is a
>> >> legitimate one and
>> >> that there might be other blind people out here,
>> >> including teenagers,
>> >> who have similar concerns about how to get
>> >> condoms, birth control or
>> >> sexual health information without a lot of
>> >> awkwardness or
>> >> embarrassment. It can be particularly difficult if
>> >> you have to depend
>> >> on someone else (especially parents) for
>> >> transportation which can make
>> >> going to a clinic or drugstore difficult.
>> >> There are a few places to buy condoms online,
>> >> including
>> >> www.condomania.com
>> >> www.undercovercondoms.com
>> >> and
>> >> www.condomdepot.com
>> >> Believe it or not, they also have some condom
>> >> choices at
>> >> www.amazon.com
>> >> If you go to your health center on campus for any
>> >> reason, it shouldn't
>> >> be a problem to ask a doctor or nurse there
>> >> about condoms.
>> >> I cannot answer the questions about when to begin
>> >> having sex with a
>> >> partner because that is a highly individual
>> >> decision. However, I feel
>> >> it important that anyone who is considering having
>> >> sex for the first
>> >> time ensure you understand what all of your
>> >> options are for preventing
>> >> pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, the
>> >> advantages and
>> >> disadvantages of each option, and the proper way
>> >> to use condoms and
>> >> birth control. There are a couple different
>> >> websites with this kind
>> >> of information:
>> >> www.plannedparenthood.org
>> >> (includes live chat with a sexual health educator)
>> >> or
>> >> www.scarleteen.com
>> >> This issue is particularly close to my heart at
>> >> the moment because my
>> >> boyfriend's sister just had an unintended
>> >> pregnancy at a very
>> >> inopportune time (while still in college, with a
>> >> guy she had only
>> >> known for a few months) and was apparently taking
>> >> birth control pills,
>> >> but had not been taking them consistently. While I
>> >> don't believe that
>> >> sex should be feared, it is something that
>> >> takes some responsibility,
>> >> planning and foresight to ensure it is enjoyable
>> >> while minimizing the
>> >> risks. Also, while I won't go into details here,
>> >> there are other ways
>> >> to be physically intimate with someone that are
>> >> less risky, which
>> >> these online forums will talk about.
>> >> I also want to bring up an issue that is
>> >> somewhat relevant to sexual
>> >> health, which I experienced and I think that some
>> >> of you might also be
>> >> struggling with. This is the issue of having your
>> >> parents drive you to
>> >> doctors' appointments and then having them want to
>> >> sit in or even
>> >> participate in your appointments. Since I attended
>> >> college in my home
>> >> city, my mother always wanted to drive me to my
>> >> doctors' appointments
>> >> and would then want to come in and chat with the
>> >> doctor while he/she
>> >> was examining me. This was partly because my
>> >> parents and I saw many of
>> >> the same doctors and she often thought it was a
>> >> good opportunity to
>> >> ask the doctor a quick question about her own
>> >> health while she was
>> >> there, or because she was curious to see what the
>> >> doctor recommended
>> >> to me about a particular issue. I eventually
>> >> realized that while it
>> >> wasn't ill-intentioned, it was a violation of my
>> >> privacy as an adult
>> >> patient and I asked her to wait in the waiting
>> >> room while I was seeing
>> >> the doctor. I didn't actually take this stand
>> >> until I was 21 and in
>> >> hindsight I wish I had done it much earlier.
>> >> By the time you are 18,
>> >> unless you have a serious cognitive disability,
>> >> you have a right to
>> >> privacy of your medical information and it is
>> >> important to establish a
>> >> good doctor-patient relationship without a third
>> >> person interfering.
>> >> This is especially true when it comes to sexual
>> >> health and by the time
>> >> you are 18 or even 16, you will want to start
>> >> discussing your sexual
>> >> activities or questions with your doctors without
>> >> your parents being
>> >> around. You might also want to consider getting a
>> >> driver or even
>> >> taking the bus to medical appointments to avoid
>> >> this problem.
>> >> On a related note, by the time you are in high
>> >> school, you should know
>> >> the names of all medications you take on a
>> >> regular basis and any
>> >> chronic medical conditions you may have. If you
>> >> ever have to go to the
>> >> emergency room, this kind of information may
>> >> be requested of you.
>> >> Best,
>> >> Arielle
>> >>
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>> >>
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>>
>> --
>> Take care,
>> Ty
>> http://tds-solutions.net
>> The aspen project: a barebones light-weight mud engine:
>> http://code.google.com/p/aspenmud
>> He that will not reason is a bigot; he that cannot reason is a fool;
>> he that dares not reason is a slave.
>>
>>
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--
Take care,
Ty
http://tds-solutions.net
The aspen project: a barebones light-weight mud engine:
http://code.google.com/p/aspenmud
He that will not reason is a bigot; he that cannot reason is a fool; he that dares not reason is a slave.
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