[nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work... advice?

Beth Taurasi denverqueen1107 at comcast.net
Sat Dec 28 00:52:38 UTC 2013


Thanks for being honest, Dave.  Sexual advances in high school 
can be intimidating, and when I had to be the bold one and do the 
upper hand job of taking the initiative to attempt to go to prom 
or date, I was always accused of sexual harassment.  See the 
contact info at the bottom of the page email.
Beth Taurasi
Denver Colorado
Skypename: denverqueen0920
Email personal: thebluesisloose at gmail.com

 ----- Original Message -----
From: "Dave Webster" <dwebster125 at gmail.com
To: "'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'" 
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Fri, 27 Dec 2013 16:35:21 -0800
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work... 
advice?

Hi Beth.  One of the things that happened with me is during high 
school and
stuff I never dated.  I never went to the prom or anything so I 
kind of knew
how to deal with firls but not totally.  I've got sort of some 
weird stuff
going on when it comes to sexual stuff  and all.  If you want you 
can email
me off list because I don't want to post it  and I don't want the 
whole list
to know.  Feel free to mail me or skype me if you want to talk 
more.

-----Original Message-----
From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Beth 
Taurasi
Sent: Friday, December 27, 2013 4:30 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work... 
advice?

Blocking is the only way to get a harasser off the phone, but 
there's
something that blind people most often do not learn.  We are not 
often
taught the proper way to deal with sexual advances nor are girls, 
in this
case your case, taught to call boys.  My mother had an archaic 
view of
girls, the sweet, quiet, shy kind.  Well, I've got bad news for 
all of us:
Blake calls me online every day, but I call Blake on some 
occasions.  We
have a balance of who calls whom, and Blake is aware of my 
problems.
Perhaps the parents of the girl did not learn what the girl might 
have.  She
could be mentally unstable, mentally unable to deal with the 
advancement of
others. She could also be creeping your friend out because she 
didn't learn
the proper way to deal with boys.
As for you, she's probably using you, Kaiti, to get to the boy.  
Please
email me off list.  I have some tales to tell you about myself 
and what
happened.  Do you have Skype?  I can give you that.
Sincerely,
Beth Taurasi
NFB of Denver/Mile High Chapter,
Denver, Colorado
Skype ID: denverqueen0920

On 12/27/2013 3:29 PM, Kaiti Shelton wrote:
 Hi all,

 I have quite the puzzling situation on my hands, and I am not 
quite
sure how to handle it.  Thoughts?

 Almost four years ago my mom and I went to this 3 day seminar 
for
students in the state voc rehab program with visual impairments.
 This Friday evening to Sunday morning seminar was designed to 
show
students and parents from around the state different employment  
> options
that were available, ranging from vending and call center  > jobs 
to taking
the college route to get a degree in a two or four  > year 
program.  A
friend of mine and I, who lived close to each other,
 were hanging out early on.   All of a sudden, this other girl 
was
 hanging all over him and would not give him his personal space.  
It
was very odd, considering that this was a very short period of 
time  > in
which this all happened.  Less than 24 hours after the students  
> had met,
my friend was so creeped out by the almost constant and  > 
unwanted
attention that he began to avoid this girl.  Other students,  > 
seeing how
creeped out he was and some creeped out themselves due to  > the 
same thing,
ended up following suit.

 I was sixteen at the time, and could feel for my friend.  The 
girl  > was
very much in my face a lot of the time too, but I was a bit more  
> patient
with her throughout the weekend.  She seemed to be worse  > with 
the guys
than the girls too, so I had a little more space than  > my 
friend.

 About 3 months after the program in the summertime, she started
calling my house.  The parents at the program were given a list 
of  > the
other parents who attended, along with their phone numbers, so  > 
they could
swap resources if they so chose.  This girl got the list  > from 
her
parents, and was using it to call me and my friend, possibly  > 
other
students as well although I am not sure.  The calls started off  
> being
about once every so often, then increased.  She was a very odd  > 
girl, and
liked to complain and cry about her problems to me and my  > 
friend. There
was nothing social about the calls, just complaining  > and 
negativity, and
mumbling which was really weird.  He quit talking  > to her much 
sooner than
I did because I tried to get her to see that  > being visually 
impaired,
(she didn't like the word blind since she  > was a large print 
reader, and
kind of used that to elivate herself  > above other people), was 
not the
worst thing in the world. She would  > cry and complain, and even 
tell me I
didn't understand how bad  > things were, when her descriptions 
of things
made it sound like she  > was very overdramatic.  I decided at 
the end of my
junior year, a  > year after the calls started coming, that I 
didn't want to
talk to a  > downer, and that I wasn't going to be able to 
convince her that
 blindness didn't mean the end of the world.

 The girl continued to call.  My senior year was very busy with
activities and preparing for college.  I would come home from  > 
marching
band practices to find my siblings quite frustrated because  > 
the girl had
kept calling, sometimes as much as 5 or 6 times in a  > span of a 
few hours.
They didn't want to answer the phone because  > whenever someone 
told her I
wasn't home she would instantly get teary  > and mumble things to 
herself,
and it was very weird, but they didn't  > want her to continue 
calling
either.  I remember one night over  > Christmas break of that 
year, she
called and when I told her I was  > getting ready to leave the 
house, which
I was to go pick up someone  > coming in from out of town for the 
holidays
with my family, she got  > angry and wanted me to give her my 
cell phone
number.  I told her  > that I didn't want to give it out, and she 
started to
get upset.
 Then I really had to go, and there was the characteristic 
mumbling.

 My parents have told me that for the past year and a half that 
I've
been in college that the girl has continued to call.  My mom has  
> told her
that I live at school and do not come home much multiple  > 
times. My
younger siblings, in frustration, have told her that I've  > 
moved away and
have begun making up different things to tell her to  > try to 
discourage
her from calling.  She continues to call, and  > around Christmas 
it is
always terrible.  A few nights ago she called  > when my parents 
were asleep
a little after  11:00 at night, and has  > apparently called and 
left
messages late at night before.  My parents  > have to get up very 
early for
work, so In order to stop the ringing  > and to prevent a message 
from
playing over the machine I had to  > answer.  Everything was 
exactly the
same.  I was heading to bed  > myself, so I told her that I was 
asleep when
she asked for me.  The  > fact that she had called at such a late 
hour
didn't seem to phase  > her, there was just the mumbling and 
usual stuff
coming over the  > line.

 I don't quite know what to do.  I've tried to be positive with 
her  > and
that hasn't worked.  My family has told her that I no longer live  
> at home
and am away at school among other things in frustration, but  > 
nothing
seems to phase her.  I know she still calls my friend's  > house 
as well,
even though he does not live at home any more either.
 I don't quite know what to do about this.  I barely know her and 
she
barely knows me, and in spite of this I have tried to help her 
with  > no
success.  My parents and siblings have said that we should just  
> block her
calls, but I have hesitated in doing this while I was in  > high 
school
because I didn't want to be mean, and then I honestly  > forgot 
about her
for the most part while I was at school last year  > and last 
semester
because I can't get calls from her there. After  > the call a few 
nights
ago, I don't really know what to think.  I am  > slightly creeped 
out that
even after my parents have told her I am  > not home for the past 
year and a
half that the calls are still  > coming.  What do you think I 
should do?

 -- Kaiti

 _______________________________________________ nabs-l mailing 
list
nabs-l at nfbnet.org  > 
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org To
unsubscribe,  > change your list options or get your account info 
for
nabs-l:

http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/denverqueen11
07%40comcas
t.net

_______________________________________________
nabs-l mailing list
nabs-l at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info 
for
nabs-l:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/dwebster125%4
0gmail.com


_______________________________________________
nabs-l mailing list
nabs-l at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info 
for nabs-l:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/denverqueen11
07%40comcast.net




More information about the NABS-L mailing list