[nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work... advice?
Kaiti Shelton
crazy4clarinet104 at gmail.com
Sat Dec 28 01:46:43 UTC 2013
Hi,
I tried mentioning the idea of getting help to her, and it made her
upset. She can get really mad at me when she thinks that I'm not
taking her seriously or are avoiding talking to her.
A lot of what she has told me about has been blindness stuff, but
there are some odd social tendencies that she has too. She had some
issues with teachers in high school because she said they didn't take
her seriously and weren't treating her like everyone else, and she
also kept telling me that her "blind friends" that she made would stop
talking to her. Often she would tell me this while she was crying, so
I couldn't understand what she was saying about the situation. Then
she told me her parents were going to make her see someone. This was
in my senior year of high school. The last time I actually talked to
her, things seemed pretty good. She was saying she got a boyfriend,
so I thought things would be going better.
If she calls again I will offer her a help line number and see how
that goes, but I'm wondering if she will take that advice since she
was so opposed to therapy when I mentioned it to her in the past.
I do think a lot of her problems stem from a combination of blindness
issues and some social quirks, but I feel in those areas I've done and
said all I know to. I will try this again and see what she does.
On 12/27/13, Dave Webster <dwebster125 at gmail.com> wrote:
> Yea. I still at times don't know how to deal with girls. I have a
> tendency
> to move too fast at times when it comes to relationships. I don't mean to
> embarrass you or anything but I also have a bit of a strange fettish which
> I've struggled with my whole life. I've tried to tlak to therpists about
> it
> but I've noto been able to get them to help with it. They don't want to
> touch it when it comes to talking about it. So.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Beth Taurasi
> Sent: Friday, December 27, 2013 4:53 PM
> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work... advice?
>
> Thanks for being honest, Dave. Sexual advances in high school can be
> intimidating, and when I had to be the bold one and do the upper hand job
> of
> taking the initiative to attempt to go to prom or date, I was always
> accused
> of sexual harassment. See the contact info at the bottom of the page
> email.
> Beth Taurasi
> Denver Colorado
> Skypename: denverqueen0920
> Email personal: thebluesisloose at gmail.com
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Dave Webster" <dwebster125 at gmail.com
> To: "'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'"
> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> Date sent: Fri, 27 Dec 2013 16:35:21 -0800
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work...
> advice?
>
> Hi Beth. One of the things that happened with me is during high school and
> stuff I never dated. I never went to the prom or anything so I kind of
> knew
> how to deal with firls but not totally. I've got sort of some weird stuff
> going on when it comes to sexual stuff and all. If you want you can email
> me off list because I don't want to post it and I don't want the whole
> list
> to know. Feel free to mail me or skype me if you want to talk more.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Beth Taurasi
> Sent: Friday, December 27, 2013 4:30 PM
> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work...
> advice?
>
> Blocking is the only way to get a harasser off the phone, but there's
> something that blind people most often do not learn. We are not often
> taught the proper way to deal with sexual advances nor are girls, in this
> case your case, taught to call boys. My mother had an archaic view of
> girls, the sweet, quiet, shy kind. Well, I've got bad news for all of us:
> Blake calls me online every day, but I call Blake on some occasions. We
> have a balance of who calls whom, and Blake is aware of my problems.
> Perhaps the parents of the girl did not learn what the girl might have.
> She
> could be mentally unstable, mentally unable to deal with the advancement of
> others. She could also be creeping your friend out because she didn't learn
> the proper way to deal with boys.
> As for you, she's probably using you, Kaiti, to get to the boy.
> Please
> email me off list. I have some tales to tell you about myself and what
> happened. Do you have Skype? I can give you that.
> Sincerely,
> Beth Taurasi
> NFB of Denver/Mile High Chapter,
> Denver, Colorado
> Skype ID: denverqueen0920
>
> On 12/27/2013 3:29 PM, Kaiti Shelton wrote:
> Hi all,
>
> I have quite the puzzling situation on my hands, and I am not quite sure
> how to handle it. Thoughts?
>
> Almost four years ago my mom and I went to this 3 day seminar for students
> in the state voc rehab program with visual impairments.
> This Friday evening to Sunday morning seminar was designed to show
> students
> and parents from around the state different employment
>> options
> that were available, ranging from vending and call center > jobs to taking
> the college route to get a degree in a two or four > year program. A
> friend of mine and I, who lived close to each other,
> were hanging out early on. All of a sudden, this other girl
> was
> hanging all over him and would not give him his personal space.
> It
> was very odd, considering that this was a very short period of time > in
> which this all happened. Less than 24 hours after the students
>> had met,
> my friend was so creeped out by the almost constant and > unwanted
> attention that he began to avoid this girl. Other students, > seeing how
> creeped out he was and some creeped out themselves due to > the same
> thing,
> ended up following suit.
>
> I was sixteen at the time, and could feel for my friend. The girl > was
> very much in my face a lot of the time too, but I was a bit more
>> patient
> with her throughout the weekend. She seemed to be worse > with the guys
> than the girls too, so I had a little more space than > my friend.
>
> About 3 months after the program in the summertime, she started calling my
> house. The parents at the program were given a list of > the other
> parents
> who attended, along with their phone numbers, so > they could swap
> resources if they so chose. This girl got the list > from her parents,
> and
> was using it to call me and my friend, possibly > other students as well
> although I am not sure. The calls started off
>> being
> about once every so often, then increased. She was a very odd > girl, and
> liked to complain and cry about her problems to me and my > friend. There
> was nothing social about the calls, just complaining > and negativity, and
> mumbling which was really weird. He quit talking > to her much sooner
> than
> I did because I tried to get her to see that > being visually impaired,
> (she didn't like the word blind since she > was a large print reader, and
> kind of used that to elivate herself > above other people), was not the
> worst thing in the world. She would > cry and complain, and even tell me I
> didn't understand how bad > things were, when her descriptions of things
> made it sound like she > was very overdramatic. I decided at the end of
> my
> junior year, a > year after the calls started coming, that I didn't want
> to
> talk to a > downer, and that I wasn't going to be able to convince her
> that
> blindness didn't mean the end of the world.
>
> The girl continued to call. My senior year was very busy with activities
> and preparing for college. I would come home from > marching band
> practices to find my siblings quite frustrated because > the girl had kept
> calling, sometimes as much as 5 or 6 times in a > span of a few hours.
> They didn't want to answer the phone because > whenever someone told her I
> wasn't home she would instantly get teary > and mumble things to herself,
> and it was very weird, but they didn't > want her to continue calling
> either. I remember one night over > Christmas break of that year, she
> called and when I told her I was > getting ready to leave the house, which
> I was to go pick up someone > coming in from out of town for the holidays
> with my family, she got > angry and wanted me to give her my cell phone
> number. I told her > that I didn't want to give it out, and she started
> to
> get upset.
> Then I really had to go, and there was the characteristic mumbling.
>
> My parents have told me that for the past year and a half that I've been
> in
> college that the girl has continued to call. My mom has
>> told her
> that I live at school and do not come home much multiple > times. My
> younger siblings, in frustration, have told her that I've > moved away and
> have begun making up different things to tell her to > try to discourage
> her from calling. She continues to call, and > around Christmas it is
> always terrible. A few nights ago she called > when my parents were
> asleep
> a little after 11:00 at night, and has > apparently called and left
> messages late at night before. My parents > have to get up very early for
> work, so In order to stop the ringing > and to prevent a message from
> playing over the machine I had to > answer. Everything was exactly the
> same. I was heading to bed > myself, so I told her that I was asleep when
> she asked for me. The > fact that she had called at such a late hour
> didn't seem to phase > her, there was just the mumbling and usual stuff
> coming over the > line.
>
> I don't quite know what to do. I've tried to be positive with her > and
> that hasn't worked. My family has told her that I no longer live
>> at home
> and am away at school among other things in frustration, but > nothing
> seems to phase her. I know she still calls my friend's > house as well,
> even though he does not live at home any more either.
> I don't quite know what to do about this. I barely know her and she
> barely
> knows me, and in spite of this I have tried to help her with > no success.
> My parents and siblings have said that we should just
>> block her
> calls, but I have hesitated in doing this while I was in > high school
> because I didn't want to be mean, and then I honestly > forgot about her
> for the most part while I was at school last year > and last semester
> because I can't get calls from her there. After > the call a few nights
> ago, I don't really know what to think. I am > slightly creeped out that
> even after my parents have told her I am > not home for the past year and
> a
> half that the calls are still > coming. What do you think I should do?
>
> -- Kaiti
>
> _______________________________________________ nabs-l mailing list
> nabs-l at nfbnet.org > http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
> To
> unsubscribe, > change your list options or get your account info for
> nabs-l:
>
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/denverqueen11
> 07%40comcas
> t.net
>
> _______________________________________________
> nabs-l mailing list
> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> nabs-l:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/dwebster125%4
> 0gmail.com
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> nabs-l mailing list
> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info
> for nabs-l:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/denverqueen11
> 07%40comcast.net
>
> _______________________________________________
> nabs-l mailing list
> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> nabs-l:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/dwebster125%40gmail.com
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> nabs-l mailing list
> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> nabs-l:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/crazy4clarinet104%40gmail.com
>
--
Kaiti
More information about the NABS-L
mailing list