[nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work... advice?
Beth Taurasi
denverqueen1107 at comcast.net
Sat Dec 28 02:59:22 UTC 2013
Unfortunately, all my social quirks are whauft they are.
Unfortunately, I know a guy in England who has a weird quirk or
two, but that doesn't mean he can't say a word to me about other
stuff. Blindness issues? Whoa. I had blindness issues too.
Like my chorus teacher refused admittance to me as accompanist
and did not allow me to sing in the small Camorata singers. I
wasn't even allowed to sing in the Madrigal ensemble which was a
dream of mine to do. The big problem was that the director, and
I'm not afraid to say his name, Tom Davis, was not educated
enough to see that blind people could and should accompany a
chorus. That's a whole other subject, but such issues made me
cry harder than rainstorms.
Beth
----- Original Message -----
From: Kaiti Shelton <crazy4clarinet104 at gmail.com
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Fri, 27 Dec 2013 20:46:43 -0500
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work...
advice?
Hi,
I tried mentioning the idea of getting help to her, and it made
her
upset. She can get really mad at me when she thinks that I'm not
taking her seriously or are avoiding talking to her.
A lot of what she has told me about has been blindness stuff, but
there are some odd social tendencies that she has too. She had
some
issues with teachers in high school because she said they didn't
take
her seriously and weren't treating her like everyone else, and
she
also kept telling me that her "blind friends" that she made would
stop
talking to her. Often she would tell me this while she was
crying, so
I couldn't understand what she was saying about the situation.
Then
she told me her parents were going to make her see someone. This
was
in my senior year of high school. The last time I actually
talked to
her, things seemed pretty good. She was saying she got a
boyfriend,
so I thought things would be going better.
If she calls again I will offer her a help line number and see
how
that goes, but I'm wondering if she will take that advice since
she
was so opposed to therapy when I mentioned it to her in the past.
I do think a lot of her problems stem from a combination of
blindness
issues and some social quirks, but I feel in those areas I've
done and
said all I know to. I will try this again and see what she does.
On 12/27/13, Dave Webster <dwebster125 at gmail.com> wrote:
Yea. I still at times don't know how to deal with girls. I
have a
tendency
to move too fast at times when it comes to relationships. I
don't mean to
embarrass you or anything but I also have a bit of a strange
fettish which
I've struggled with my whole life. I've tried to tlak to
therpists about
it
but I've noto been able to get them to help with it. They don't
want to
touch it when it comes to talking about it. So.
-----Original Message-----
From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
Beth Taurasi
Sent: Friday, December 27, 2013 4:53 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to
work... advice?
Thanks for being honest, Dave. Sexual advances in high school
can be
intimidating, and when I had to be the bold one and do the upper
hand job
of
taking the initiative to attempt to go to prom or date, I was
always
accused
of sexual harassment. See the contact info at the bottom of the
page
email.
Beth Taurasi
Denver Colorado
Skypename: denverqueen0920
Email personal: thebluesisloose at gmail.com
----- Original Message -----
From: "Dave Webster" <dwebster125 at gmail.com
To: "'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'"
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Fri, 27 Dec 2013 16:35:21 -0800
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to
work...
advice?
Hi Beth. One of the things that happened with me is during high
school and
stuff I never dated. I never went to the prom or anything so I
kind of
knew
how to deal with firls but not totally. I've got sort of some
weird stuff
going on when it comes to sexual stuff and all. If you want
you can email
me off list because I don't want to post it and I don't want
the whole
list
to know. Feel free to mail me or skype me if you want to talk
more.
-----Original Message-----
From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
Beth Taurasi
Sent: Friday, December 27, 2013 4:30 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to
work...
advice?
Blocking is the only way to get a harasser off the phone, but
there's
something that blind people most often do not learn. We are not
often
taught the proper way to deal with sexual advances nor are
girls, in this
case your case, taught to call boys. My mother had an archaic
view of
girls, the sweet, quiet, shy kind. Well, I've got bad news for
all of us:
Blake calls me online every day, but I call Blake on some
occasions. We
have a balance of who calls whom, and Blake is aware of my
problems.
Perhaps the parents of the girl did not learn what the girl
might have.
She
could be mentally unstable, mentally unable to deal with the
advancement of
others. She could also be creeping your friend out because she
didn't learn
the proper way to deal with boys.
As for you, she's probably using you, Kaiti, to get to the boy.
Please
email me off list. I have some tales to tell you about myself
and what
happened. Do you have Skype? I can give you that.
Sincerely,
Beth Taurasi
NFB of Denver/Mile High Chapter,
Denver, Colorado
Skype ID: denverqueen0920
On 12/27/2013 3:29 PM, Kaiti Shelton wrote:
Hi all,
I have quite the puzzling situation on my hands, and I am not
quite sure
how to handle it. Thoughts?
Almost four years ago my mom and I went to this 3 day seminar
for students
in the state voc rehab program with visual impairments.
This Friday evening to Sunday morning seminar was designed to
show
students
and parents from around the state different employment
options
that were available, ranging from vending and call center >
jobs to taking
the college route to get a degree in a two or four > year
program. A
friend of mine and I, who lived close to each other,
were hanging out early on. All of a sudden, this other girl
was
hanging all over him and would not give him his personal space.
It
was very odd, considering that this was a very short period of
time > in
which this all happened. Less than 24 hours after the students
had met,
my friend was so creeped out by the almost constant and >
unwanted
attention that he began to avoid this girl. Other students, >
seeing how
creeped out he was and some creeped out themselves due to > the
same
thing,
ended up following suit.
I was sixteen at the time, and could feel for my friend. The
girl > was
very much in my face a lot of the time too, but I was a bit more
patient
with her throughout the weekend. She seemed to be worse > with
the guys
than the girls too, so I had a little more space than > my
friend.
About 3 months after the program in the summertime, she started
calling my
house. The parents at the program were given a list of > the
other
parents
who attended, along with their phone numbers, so > they could
swap
resources if they so chose. This girl got the list > from her
parents,
and
was using it to call me and my friend, possibly > other
students as well
although I am not sure. The calls started off
being
about once every so often, then increased. She was a very odd
> girl, and
liked to complain and cry about her problems to me and my >
friend. There
was nothing social about the calls, just complaining > and
negativity, and
mumbling which was really weird. He quit talking > to her much
sooner
than
I did because I tried to get her to see that > being visually
impaired,
(she didn't like the word blind since she > was a large print
reader, and
kind of used that to elivate herself > above other people), was
not the
worst thing in the world. She would > cry and complain, and
even tell me I
didn't understand how bad > things were, when her descriptions
of things
made it sound like she > was very overdramatic. I decided at
the end of
my
junior year, a > year after the calls started coming, that I
didn't want
to
talk to a > downer, and that I wasn't going to be able to
convince her
that
blindness didn't mean the end of the world.
The girl continued to call. My senior year was very busy with
activities
and preparing for college. I would come home from > marching
band
practices to find my siblings quite frustrated because > the
girl had kept
calling, sometimes as much as 5 or 6 times in a > span of a few
hours.
They didn't want to answer the phone because > whenever someone
told her I
wasn't home she would instantly get teary > and mumble things
to herself,
and it was very weird, but they didn't > want her to continue
calling
either. I remember one night over > Christmas break of that
year, she
called and when I told her I was > getting ready to leave the
house, which
I was to go pick up someone > coming in from out of town for
the holidays
with my family, she got > angry and wanted me to give her my
cell phone
number. I told her > that I didn't want to give it out, and
she started
to
get upset.
Then I really had to go, and there was the characteristic
mumbling.
My parents have told me that for the past year and a half that
I've been
in
college that the girl has continued to call. My mom has
told her
that I live at school and do not come home much multiple >
times. My
younger siblings, in frustration, have told her that I've >
moved away and
have begun making up different things to tell her to > try to
discourage
her from calling. She continues to call, and > around
Christmas it is
always terrible. A few nights ago she called > when my parents
were
asleep
a little after 11:00 at night, and has > apparently called and
left
messages late at night before. My parents > have to get up
very early for
work, so In order to stop the ringing > and to prevent a
message from
playing over the machine I had to > answer. Everything was
exactly the
same. I was heading to bed > myself, so I told her that I was
asleep when
she asked for me. The > fact that she had called at such a
late hour
didn't seem to phase > her, there was just the mumbling and
usual stuff
coming over the > line.
I don't quite know what to do. I've tried to be positive with
her > and
that hasn't worked. My family has told her that I no longer
live
at home
and am away at school among other things in frustration, but >
nothing
seems to phase her. I know she still calls my friend's > house
as well,
even though he does not live at home any more either.
I don't quite know what to do about this. I barely know her
and she
barely
knows me, and in spite of this I have tried to help her with >
no success.
My parents and siblings have said that we should just
block her
calls, but I have hesitated in doing this while I was in > high
school
because I didn't want to be mean, and then I honestly > forgot
about her
for the most part while I was at school last year > and last
semester
because I can't get calls from her there. After > the call a
few nights
ago, I don't really know what to think. I am > slightly
creeped out that
even after my parents have told her I am > not home for the
past year and
a
half that the calls are still > coming. What do you think I
should do?
-- Kaiti
_______________________________________________ nabs-l mailing
list
nabs-l at nfbnet.org >
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
To
unsubscribe, > change your list options or get your account
info for
nabs-l:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/denverqueen11
07%40comcas
t.net
_______________________________________________
nabs-l mailing list
nabs-l at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account
info for
nabs-l:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/dwebster125%4
0gmail.com
_______________________________________________
nabs-l mailing list
nabs-l at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account
info
for nabs-l:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/denverqueen11
07%40comcast.net
_______________________________________________
nabs-l mailing list
nabs-l at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account
info for
nabs-l:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/dwebster125%4
0gmail.com
_______________________________________________
nabs-l mailing list
nabs-l at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account
info for
nabs-l:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/crazy4clarine
t104%40gmail.com
--
Kaiti
_______________________________________________
nabs-l mailing list
nabs-l at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info
for nabs-l:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/denverqueen11
07%40comcast.net
More information about the NABS-L
mailing list