[nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.
Desiree Oudinot
turtlepower17 at gmail.com
Mon Feb 18 21:17:21 UTC 2013
Hi Kurt,
You're right, and I wasn't trying to minimize the fact that employers
do try to get a sense of what their potential employees will be like
by doing google searches. But, in my opinion, everyone has skeletons
in their closets, and, as long as you're not promoting anything
illegal or immoral through your online presence, if you're not hired
for expressing yourself, I can't say it would be any great loss. The
irony is, of course, that I'm saying this, knowing full well that an
employer just might see it and dismiss my attitude as flippant, and
that doesn't bother me in the slightest.
On 2/18/13, Kirt Manwaring <kirt.crazydude at gmail.com> wrote:
> Hello all,
> I've been kind of watching this thing play out from a distance and I
> really think I can respect basically all of the positions people have
> taken here.
> Desiree, in today's world, it's much more likely that potential
> employers will do a google search for a likely job candidate's name
> and see what comes up than...well, than ever in human history. I
> think it's standard procedure for lots of companies to do precisely
> that, if I'm not mistaken. It's not quite like hearing some random
> person confessing their life full of sin and misery in a shopping mall
> and realizing that, much to your chagrin, that's the person you were
> thinking about hiring. Lots of companies will deliberately do
> searches on the internet for specific job aplicants and see what comes
> up. So it's very possible, even slightly likely, this could be seen.
> On the other hand, I know what it's like to feel as though you have
> absolutely nowhere to turn and you just need someone, anyone, who
> might possibly understand. If you're honestly at that point, as I
> have been before, I think it's fair to legitimately throw protocol out
> the window if you really feel like there's nowhere else to turn which,
> by the way, is probably not true but, believe me, it feels like it can
> be. I don't judge, farbeit from me to condemn when I've been in
> similar situations (although I handled them slightly differently), but
> I thinkn it's just very important to be aware that, if people are
> deliberately looking for information about you on the internet, this
> stuff can show up pretty high in the search results. I've searched
> for myself on the internet and seen all sorts of things...if I'd had a
> mind to do a bit more digging, (as a rapidly growing number of
> employers do), I'm sure I'd be kind of embarrassed by some of the
> things I'd find...but, if you're aware, and you understand that there
> is a strong possibility that what you write here will be read later, I
> can't fault you for deciding to open up like this if you feel like
> there's nowhere else to go.
> David, I know how real and powerful depression is because it's a
> condition with which I'm all too familiar. Feel free to write me
> off-list, any time, if you need someone to talk to.
> Best regards,
> Kirt
>
> On 2/18/13, Dave Webster <dwebster125 at gmail.com> wrote:
>> Oh do you struggle with depression as well? If you want maybe we can
>> mail
>> and or talk off list. Let me know.
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Desiree
>> Oudinot
>> Sent: Monday, February 18, 2013 11:25 AM
>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.
>>
>> Hi,
>> I, too, have often wished that there was a list for discussing personal
>> and
>> emotional problems as they relate to blindness. It's not necessarily that
>> the problems we face are different, but more often than not, there is
>> another dimension to explain. For example, if I went to see a counselor
>> about my depression, the first thing they would probably tell me is that
>> I
>> need to get out more. That's the easiest thing in the world for the
>> average
>> sighted person who has a car and a job to say, after all. But in my case,
>> it's not that simple.
>> I live in a rural area where there's no public transportation or
>> Paratransit
>> service. If I want to go somewhere, my parents are the ones who decide
>> that,
>> despite the fact that I'm an adult, and, being an adult, this is one of
>> my
>> greatest frustrations, being controlled in this way. A counselor would
>> probably just shrug and say, "suck it up, not everyone has a car,
>> either."
>> They're only human too. How can they be empathetic if they haven't
>> experienced something similar? I would like the perspective of a fellow
>> blind person who's gone through something similar, so that maybe they
>> could
>> tell me how they overcame it. How they moved out with no support,
>> because,
>> without going too far into it, my parents don't want me to do that, and I
>> can't exactly hire a moving van and drive it. I have no one to turn to
>> with
>> these problems, so having a support group of sorts would be nice.
>>
>> On 2/18/13, Ari Damoulakis <aridamoulakis at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> I agree
>>> David is blind, so I think there should be some sort of blind list
>>> where he can discuss these things, because, like it or not, the fact
>>> of blindness sometimes does play a role. Obviously there are
>>> mainstream services he can turn to, but maybe the blindness factor
>>> adds something to the support David is looking for.
>>> I for example, there are many crises and things I would like answers
>>> and help with. There are many mainstream lists for the particular
>>> crisis and questions I have, but I want more a disabled and blindness
>>> point of view, or a disabled support group in dealing with my specific
>>> crisis I'm going through at the moment, but I just can't find one.
>>> Ari
>>>
>>> On 2/18/13, Carly Mihalakis <carlymih at comcast.net> wrote:
>>>> Good morning, List,
>>>>
>>>> Lay off our good buddy, Dave! Too often it is a social protocol to
>>>> act like a machine, forever using pallid, impersonal terms for
>>>> expressing oneself. Don't people think there are enough of us,
>>>> forgoing emotion to express themselves, just so what they say fits
>>>> into somebody's box,is snug within somebody's form? And, in terms of
>>>> Dave's reaching out, in his state of personal crisis, to his blind
>>>> peers, Not a reason for crucifixion, I dare say.
>>>> He's simply groping for support, and answers. I would think this List
>>>> a more supportive place, to air such crisies of the spirit? No?
>>>> I guess in this case, we are family, but only to a point.:00 PM
>>>> 2/13/2013, Elizabeth Mohnke wrote:
>>>>>Hello Desiree and List,
>>>>>
>>>>>I completely understand the need to express one's personal emotions.
>>>>>However, I do not believe a public email list where the purpose is to
>>>>>discuss issues related to being a blind student is the most
>>>>>appropriate place to express such personal emotions. I believe
>>>>>personal matters are meant to be kept private, and today's role of
>>>>>social media has conditioned us to be more public with our private
>>>>> lives.
>>>>>
>>>>>I agree with Arielle in that I believe what David is going through is
>>>>>rather common among the general public. However, I believe there are
>>>>>more effective ways in dealing with these issues rather than simply
>>>>>posting a mass email on an email list intended for blind students.
>>>>>
>>>>>There are several different hotlines where one can receive support
>>>>>for these specific issues, and can sometimes refer you to other local
>>>>>resources for ongoing support. I cannot recall any specific hotlines
>>>>>at the moment, but a simple internet search should provide some
>>>>>resources.
>>>>>
>>>>>If you are looking for counseling regarding the loss of a loved one,
>>>>>a local hospital should be able to provide you with some local
>>>>>resources to help support you during your loss. They may also be able
>>>>>to provide information regarding support groups for bipolar disorder
>>>>>as well.
>>>>>
>>>>>Other resources you may wish to check out include 211 and domestic
>>>>>violence crisis centers. The 211 service is a local service number
>>>>>that lists various community services. And although your personal
>>>>>situation with your girlfriend would not be classified as domestic
>>>>>violence, a crisis center may be able to provide you with some
>>>>>resources you can use to deal with your current relationship problem
>>>>>as well as give you some tools for building healthy relationships in
>>>>>the future.
>>>>>
>>>>>Finally, if you are a student, there are generally counselors on
>>>>>campus who can help you through emotional -term problems which
>>>>>prevent you from being a successful student. Services may range from
>>>>>personal counseling to referral services to other resources in the
>>>>>community.
>>>>>
>>>>>So while I believe expressing one's emotions is a rather healthy
>>>>>thing to do, it can be more helpful and beneficial to express them
>>>>>among a selected group of individuals rather than simply sharing them
>>>>>with the whole entire world.
>>>>>
>>>>>Respectfully,
>>>>>Elizabeth
>>>>>
>>>>>--------------------------------------------------
>>>>>From: "Desiree Oudinot" <turtlepower17 at gmail.com>
>>>>>Sent: Wednesday, February 13, 2013 5:44 PM
>>>>>To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>>>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
>>>>>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.
>>>>>
>>>>>>hi Elizabeth,
>>>>>>Your message wasn't directed at me, but I would like to come to
>>>>>>Dave's defense here a bit, since I also shared some personal things
>>>>>>about myself in my previous messages on this topic.
>>>>>>I'm sorry, but if an employer takes the time to hunt through the
>>>>>>archives of this list, and chooses not to hire me because I slipped
>>>>>>and let a bit of emotion show, that's really their loss. I can't
>>>>>>tell you how angry it makes me that most people in our society place
>>>>>>no value whatsoever on one's emotional state. When I was growing up,
>>>>>>I was told, in many different ways and by many people, directly and
>>>>>>indirectly, that expressing emotions is bad and that I would be a
>>>>>>failure in life for having them. As I've gotten older, I have seen
>>>>>>how so many people go through their lives, hating their jobs, hating
>>>>>>their lives, distrusting everyone, and all of this is a direct
>>>>>>result of suppressing emotions. I could make a solid case for the
>>>>>>fact that everything, from violence to infidelity in marriages to
>>>>>>job dissatisfaction, is directly related to this, but I know this
>>>>>>list isn't the place to go that deep into philosophical issues. What
>>>>>>I feel needs to be said is that exposing a so-called weakness,
>>>>>>reaching out in desperation because you don't know where to turn,
>>>>>>shouldn't be a cause to jump down someone's throat. I'm not saying
>>>>>>that's what you did, but I also feel that what Dave and I and a
>>>>>>couple others did was not inherently wrong. I don't think it will
>>>>>>doom us or cause immediate and permanent backlash.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>On 2/13/13, Elizabeth Mohnke <lizmohnke at hotmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>>Hello David,
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>I do not mean to minimize the pain of your personal situation, but
>>>>>>>I am not
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>quite sure if this list is the appropriate place to share the
>>>>>>>intimate details of your personal relationship.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>The emails you post to this email list are stored in a public
>>>>>>> archive.
>>>>>>> This
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>means that not only can your emails be viewed by those who are
>>>>>>>subscribed to
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>this email list, but they can be viewed by anyone who has access to
>>>>>>>the internet. With this in mind, you may wish to think twice about
>>>>>>>sharing such
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>personal information about yourself on this email list.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>In addition, the purpose of this email list is to discuss matters
>>>>>>>that are relevant to being a blind student. Please forgive me, but
>>>>>>>I fail to see how
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>disclosing intimate details regarding a personal relationship
>>>>>>>relates to the
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>intended purpose of this email list. I can see how relationships in
>>>>>>>general
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>could be a relevant topic for this list, but I do not see how a
>>>>>>>specific
>>>>>>>individual detailed relationship problem would be considered
>>>>>>> appropriate
>>>>>>>for this email list.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Again, I am sorry to hear you are having such difficulties in your
>>>>>>>personal
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>life, but I believe the intimate details of your personal
>>>>>>>relationship would
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>be more suited for conversations that take place in private emails
>>>>>>>rather than in a public email list.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Respectfully,
>>>>>>>Elizabeth
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>--------------------------------------------------
>>>>>>>From: "Dave Webster" <dwebster125 at gmail.com>
>>>>>>>Sent: Wednesday, February 13, 2013 4:08 PM
>>>>>>>To: "'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'"
>>>>>>><nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
>>>>>>>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>Hi Katie thanks for the post. I wanted to talk a bit about what
>>>>>>>>actually happened between us. I found everything out last night.
>>>>>>>>I had to really really talk to Terri about it. She finally told
>>>>>>>>me. She said that there were some things about me that she
>>>>>>>>thought she could handle in the beginning but when she through
>>>>>>>>about it and when it actually happened she didn't think she could.
>>>>>>>>One of the things was the crying spells I go through. I suffer
>>>>>>>>from bipolar and my bipolar is more on the depressed side. My
>>>>>>>>grandma past away just about 3 weeks ago and that's when the
>>>>>>>>depression and the crying spells really started. It was hard for
>>>>>>>>her because the crying spells were so intense and I would cry so
>>>>>>>>hard, and I still do because this relationship didn't work out,
>>>>>>>>but when my grandma died I would cry really hard.
>>>>>>>> Some
>>>>>>>>times they would last a wile. She wanted to tell me before that
>>>>>>>>she didn't think she could handle those but she didn't. when she
>>>>>>>>finally did tell me that's when she broke it off and before she
>>>>>>>>told me that's when she started talking to this other person. If
>>>>>>>>she would have said something in the beginning it would have been
>>>>>>>>easier. I guess she felt like she was on egg shells because she
>>>>>>>>would talk about her grand parents or her family and I'd start to
>>>>>>>>cry. I guess it was just really really hard for her.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>-----Original Message-----
>>>>>>>>From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Kaiti
>>>>>>>>Shelton
>>>>>>>>Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 10:17 PM
>>>>>>>>To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>>>>>>>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>Hi all,
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>I've just finished a long distance relationship by way of ditching
>>>>>>>>the distance. I met my boyfriend of almost two years at a summer
>>>>>>>>music program we both attended several years ago. We really hit
>>>>>>>>it off the summer before my senior year and made the best of the
>>>>>>>>long distance situation. We were both in school and involved in
>>>>>>>>clubs and band and stuff, but we made it work the best we could.
>>>>>>>>On our breaks he would come down to visit, and he even came for my
>>>>>>>>senior prom so we could go together. (Despite all our blind
>>>>>>>>moments we had with trying to find our way around unfamiliar
>>>>>>>>territory with a lot of people in the room it was really fun).
>>>>>>>>Last semester he finished up at his local community college and
>>>>>>>>worked on transfering to a university in the same city as mine.
>>>>>>>>Now instead of living 300 miles away from me and in another state
>>>>>>>>our universities are pretty close and we can see each other every
>>>>>>>>few weeks. Sure, we don't get to see each other every day, but
>>>>>>>>with school for both of us it can't really be helped and it's a
>>>>>>>>lot better than every few months.
>>>>>>>>I don't necessarily think being blind or sighted has anything to
>>>>>>>>do with the relationship. As Mauricio and others have said it
>>>>>>>>all boils down to preference of both people in the relationship,
>>>>>>>>their communication skills, their patience for being in a long
>>>>>>>>distance relationship, and a lot of other factors. I do agree
>>>>>>>>that sometimes blind people appear to enter into text-based
>>>>>>>>relationships and get wrapped up in them more often than sighted
>>>>>>>>people and this can sometimes be problematic, but otherwise
>>>>>>>>blindness is just a trait, not a personality trait or something
>>>>>>>>that really is important in a relationship. I don't think long
>>>>>>>>distance relationships are bad, or that they just don't work.
>>>>>>>>They're not for everyone, but if you're committed and patient and
>>>>>>>>the other person is too it can actually strengthen the
>>>>>>>>relationship. I know I appreciate my situation now, and
>>>>>>>>appreciated the times when my boyfriend would come to visit,
>>>>>>>>because they were priviledges for both of us.
>>>>>>>>High school long distance relationships sort of have their own
>>>>>>>>restrictions, especially the further apart the people in the
>>>>>>>>relationship are. It always made me sad when my friends in high
>>>>>>>>school would complain about not seeing their boyfriends over the
>>>>>>>>weekend, or if they would question if they'd keep the relationship
>>>>>>>>going once they and their boyfriend started going to different
>>>>>>>>colleges in different cities because it seemed like they really
>>>>>>>>didn't appreciate the time they spent with their boyfriend or were
>>>>>>>>really willing to make things work.
>>>>>>>>School schedules, activities like sports and clubs, and family
>>>>>>>>life keep high school kids busy. With the set schedules it's not
>>>>>>>>like college where the people can meet for lunch or go out to
>>>>>>>>dinner after or between classes.
>>>>>>>>It's also a matter of transportation; bus tickets, gas, and
>>>>>>>>certainly plane tickets cost money. Of course I champion that the
>>>>>>>>goal of a long distance relationship should be to make it short
>>>>>>>>distance assuming everything works out, but if that can't happen
>>>>>>>>easily for transportation, money, and school reasons than you
>>>>>>>>might as well be as happy as possible together and make things
>>>>>>>>work as it sounds like Sophie is doing. It's just the practical
>>>>>>>>thing to do considering the circumstances. Kudos!
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>On 2/12/13, Desiree Oudinot <turtlepower17 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>I hope I didn't come off as saying that long distance
>>>>>>>>>relationships are bad. I didn't mean to. While this is still a
>>>>>>>>>very emotional topic for me, I fully respect the fact that for
>>>>>>>>>others, they don't go through what I went through. All I was
>>>>>>>>>trying to convey is that you should really keep both eyes, ears,
>>>>>>>>>and your heart and soul open when going into these situations.
>>>>>>>>>then again, if people thought deeply when going into any
>>>>>>>>>relationship, no matter how near or far the other person is, they
>>>>>>>>>might have more success. On the other hand, being overly
>>>>>>>>>analytical, as I have a tendency to be, has its drawbacks, namely
>>>>>>>>>that I go around and around in endless circles in my head, never
>>>>>>>>>being able to draw any conclusion, endlessly agonizing over every
>>>>>>>>>possible detail of things until I feel like I could explode.
>>>>>>>>>I understand, to a degree, what you're dealing with. I deal with
>>>>>>>>>depression and anxiety as well, and have for most of my life, so
>>>>>>>>>I know how people react to that news. In my last relationship,
>>>>>>>>>the guy I was with liked to tell me how weak I was for being
>>>>>>>>>depressed, and how I was unable to handle everyday stresses. Yet,
>>>>>>>>>he was on medications for depression and anxiety as well, so he
>>>>>>>>>was being quite hypocritical.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>On 2/12/13, Sophie Trist <sweetpeareader at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>Um... I'M IN FREAKING HIGH SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry if you
>>>>>>>>>>didn't know that... it just made me feel a little awkward. And,
>>>>>>>>>>if you don't mind Koby, I'd rather not share the personal
>>>>>>>>>>details of the relationship.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>>>>>>>From: "Koby Cox" <kobycox at gmail.com
>>>>>>>>>>To: "'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'"
>>>>>>>>>><nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>>>>>>>>>Date sent: Tue, 12 Feb 2013 19:31:37 -0600
>>>>>>>>>>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the
>>>>>>>>>> list.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>Sophie,
>>>>>>>>>>Are you guys engaged or can you tell me more about your alls
>>>>>>>>>>relation ship?
>>>>>>>>>>Thanks,
>>>>>>>>>>Koby.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>-----Original Message-----
>>>>>>>>>>From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
>>>>>>>>>>Sophie Trist
>>>>>>>>>>Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 6:56 PM
>>>>>>>>>>To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>>>>>>>>>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>Sarah, long distance relationships can work. My boyfriend lives
>>>>>>>>>>in Australia and we have been going out for over a year. We just
>>>>>>>>>>chat through the phone and texts and stuff. We've een each other
>>>>>>>>>>since we started being a couple. It's different, but it's
>>>>>>>>>>feasible. A few bad experiences isn't enough to say you hate
>>>>>>>>>>relationships. I believe that there is someone out there for
>> everyone; it just takes time.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>Sincerely,
>>>>>>>>>>Sophie
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>>>>>>>From: Sarah <coastergirl92 at gmail.com
>>>>>>>>>>To: National Association of Blind Students mailing
>>>>>>>>>>list<nabs-l at nfbnet.org Date sent: Tue, 12 Feb 2013 14:15:34
>>>>>>>>>>-0800
>>>>>>>>>>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the
>>>>>>>>>> list.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>I cry every day. I hate relationships, especially long whtance
>>>>>>>>>>ones they never work.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>>>>>>>From: "Dave Webster" <dwebster125 at gmail.com
>>>>>>>>>>To: "'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'"
>>>>>>>>>><nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>>>>>>>>>Date sent: Tue, 12 Feb 2013 14:13:11 -0800
>>>>>>>>>>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the
>>>>>>>>>> list.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>Yea thanks. I think she did get scared but we had actually
>>>>>>>>>>talked about that. I mean hopefully we can talk but I'm not
>>>>>>>>>>sure. Its gonna take some time to get over this. I've been
>>>>>>>>>>going through a lot of crying spells.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>-----Original Message-----
>>>>>>>>>>From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
>>>>>>>>>>Gloria G
>>>>>>>>>>Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 11:55 AM
>>>>>>>>>>To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>>>>>>>>>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the
>>>>>>>>>> list.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>Hi,
>>>>>>>>>>I am so sorry that happened to you. You seem like a really nice
>>>>>>>>>>guy and I think she just got scared. Maybe after things cool
>>>>>>>>>>off you guys can talk and figure out what happened. Well I hope
>>>>>>>>>>you feel better. Try doing something that is fun for you just
>>>>>>>>>>to get your mind off things.
>>>>>>>>>>----- Original Message -----
>>>>>>>>>>From: "Dave Webster" <dwebster125 at gmail.com
>>>>>>>>>>To: "'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'"
>>>>>>>>>><nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>>>>>>>>>Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 1:44 PM
>>>>>>>>>>Subject: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> Hello all. I'm Dave. I am not a student right now. I have
>>>>>>>>>>bipolar and am unable to handle the stress of going to school.
>>>>>>>>>>I know that this may be off the topic of this list but I wanted
>>>>>>>>>>to post it anyhow.
>>>>>>>>>> I just got out of a relationship. It was a long distance one
>>>>>>>>>>whare she lives in Michigan and I in California. We started
>>>>>>>>>>talking at the beginning of January right after new years. We
>>>>>>>>>>didn't mean to but we started to hit it off really really well.
>>>>>>>>>>About a week or so later she bought plane tickets for me to come
>>>>>>>>>>out there to Michigan to see her. If I liked it out there then
>>>>>>>>>>I was most likely gonna stay and be with her. Right now I live
>>>>>>>>>>in a board and care facility. It turns out that for a couple
>>>>>>>>>>of weeks probably when she bought the tickets or pretty soonn
>>>>>>>>>>after she began having doubts and fears about the relationship.
>>>>>>>>>>I had my doubts and had my fears as well and knew this was a
>>>>>>>>>>normal thing. We talked about them but a few days later she
>>>>>>>>>>called the relationship off because there were some symptoms
>>>>>>>>>>which were rather minor ones that she said she couldn't handle.
>>>>>>>>>>It turns out that she is now tomorrow going to see this guy in
>>>>>>>>>>Colorado.
>>>>>>>>>>Mind
>>>>>>>>>> you she doesn't know this guy and she didn't know me either
>>>>>>>>>>but I feel like we had something. I feel like my emotions were
>>>>>>>>>>played with and I'm really hurt. I was just wondering if any
>>>>>>>>>>of you who want to could help me through this. I've been going
>>>>>>>>>>through a lot of crying spells.
>>>>>>>>>> During this time on January 10th I lost my grandma. She was
>>>>>>>>>>90 and had bad dementia and died in her sleep on the evening of
>>>>>>>>>>the tenth.
>>>>>>>>>> So I am trying to work with 2 losses right after another.
>>>>>>>>>>Loosing my
>>>>>>>>>> grandma and loosing Terri. Terri was someone that I could
>>>>>>>>>>love and did love and still do. I wish she wouldn't go to
>>>>>>>>>>Colorado.
>>>>>>>>>> This guy that she's going to see has anxiety and depression as
>>>>>>>>>>well and she found him on a sight for people with mental
>>>>>>>>>>illnesses.
>>>>>>>>>>Maybe
>>>>>>>>>> if any of you want to we could talk off list. I've been going
>>>>>>>>>>through a lot of crying spells and sometimes I need help
>>>>>>>>>>through them.
>>>>>>>>>>My
>>>>>>>>>> friends, which by the way I don't have a lot of I feel like
>>>>>>>>>>they may not be able to understand what's going on. I feel
>>>>>>>>>>like I wasn't good enough for her. I'm just really really
>>>>>>>>>>hurt.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>>>>>>%40gm
>>>>>>>>>> ail.com
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>
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