[nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.

Joshua Lester JLester8462 at pccua.edu
Tue Feb 19 00:11:22 UTC 2013


I'd like to point out something else.
I'm a minister in the United Pentecostal Church International.
There's a forum called Apostolic Ministers Forum, and it's a closed forum, meaning that only forum members can see what's posted, and there's no public archive.
VBulletin has a feature to make a forum closed to the public.
Also, Yahoo Groups are closed to the public as well.
Blessings, Joshua
________________________________________
From: nabs-l [nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] on behalf of David Andrews [dandrews at visi.com]
Sent: Monday, February 18, 2013 6:03 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.

As the list owner, and someone who has used lists, forums, and
related vehicles for over 25 years, I would like to point out a few things.

First, all of our regular lists have public archives, so anything you
post will be around, and viewable by all.  And finable by all,
including future employers.  I don't say that to quash conversation,
but to make people aware of the parameters.

When a list is successful, and running well people contribute and
learn, and a sense of community develops. I think that generally
happens on this list.  So, people tend to support each other, and if
some messages are off topic, strictly speaking, it is tolerated.

As list owner I often walk a fine line, and I tend to be fairly
lenient.  I think we need some structure and guidelines for a list,
but not too many.  There are clearly things that are appropriate for
discussion, and things that are not.  On the one hand, using
disability services at a university would be on topic here, and
discussion of retirement benefits would not.  However, things aren't
usually that clear cut.  Is discussion of long-distance
relationships, and breakups on topic here.  Someone could say since I
am a student, and since this happened to me, then yes.  I would say,
strictly speaking, no, but in terms of fostering community and
support, some discussion of this, or another topic is ok.  If it goes
too far, or goes on too long, I might step in and try to redirect things.

One thing I see, that you may not is that when something isn't
working people start to unsubscribe.  You wouldn't normally know that
as a list user, as most people just quietly go away.

There is also the point of view that anything is ok for discussion
because we are all blind, and going through it as a blind person.  I
don't subscribe to this, because with no restrictions, chaos soon
ensues.  Each list has to have a basic purpose or people don't know
what to expect.

If we have a list where the discussion of relationships as a blind
person would be appropriate, it would probably be Blind Talk,
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk_nfbnet.org

I hope my rambling makes sense.  I am not getting on anyone, just
trying to explain my thoughts to the list.

David Andrews, List Owner


At 01:25 PM 2/18/2013, you wrote:
>Hi,
>I, too, have often wished that there was a list for discussing
>personal and emotional problems as they relate to blindness. It's not
>necessarily that the problems we face are different, but more often
>than not, there is another dimension to explain. For example, if I
>went to see a counselor about my depression, the first thing they
>would probably tell me is that I need to get out more. That's the
>easiest thing in the world for the average sighted person who has a
>car and a job to say, after all. But in my case, it's not that simple.
>I live in a rural area where there's no public transportation or
>Paratransit service. If I want to go somewhere, my parents are the
>ones who decide that, despite the fact that I'm an adult, and, being
>an adult, this is one of my greatest frustrations, being controlled in
>this way. A counselor would probably just shrug and say, "suck it up,
>not everyone has a car, either." They're only human too. How can they
>be empathetic if they haven't experienced something similar? I would
>like the perspective of a fellow blind person who's gone through
>something similar, so that maybe they could tell me how they overcame
>it. How they moved out with no support, because, without going too far
>into it, my parents don't want me to do that, and I can't exactly hire
>a moving van and drive it.  I have no one to turn to with these
>problems, so having a support group of sorts would be nice.
>
>On 2/18/13, Ari Damoulakis <aridamoulakis at gmail.com> wrote:
> > I agree
> > David is blind, so I think there should be some sort of blind list
> > where he can discuss these things, because, like it or not, the fact
> > of blindness sometimes does play a role. Obviously there are
> > mainstream services he can turn to, but maybe the blindness factor
> > adds something to the support David is looking for.
> > I for example, there are many crises and things I would like answers
> > and help with. There are many mainstream lists for the particular
> > crisis and questions I have, but I want more a disabled and blindness
> > point of view, or a disabled support group in dealing with my specific
> > crisis I'm going through at the moment, but I just can't find one.
> > Ari
> >
> > On 2/18/13, Carly Mihalakis <carlymih at comcast.net> wrote:
> >> Good morning, List,
> >>
> >> Lay off our good buddy, Dave! Too often it is a social protocol to
> >> act like a machine, forever using pallid, impersonal terms for
> >> expressing oneself. Don't people think there are enough of us,
> >> forgoing emotion to express themselves, just so what they say fits
> >> into somebody's box,is snug within somebody's form? And, in terms of
> >> Dave's reaching out, in his state of personal crisis, to his blind
> >> peers, Not a reason for crucifixion, I dare say.
> >> He's simply groping for support, and answers. I would think this List
> >> a more supportive place, to air such crisies of the spirit? No?
> >> I guess in this case, we are family, but only to a point.:00 PM
> >> 2/13/2013, Elizabeth Mohnke wrote:
> >>>Hello Desiree and List,
> >>>
> >>>I completely understand the need to express one's personal emotions.
> >>>However, I do not believe a public email list where the purpose is
> >>>to discuss issues related to being a blind student is the most
> >>>appropriate place to express such personal emotions. I believe
> >>>personal matters are meant to be kept private, and today's role of
> >>>social media has conditioned us to be more public with our private lives.
> >>>
> >>>I agree with Arielle in that I believe what David is going through
> >>>is rather common among the general public. However, I believe there
> >>>are more effective ways in dealing with these issues rather than
> >>>simply posting a mass email on an email list intended for blind students.
> >>>
> >>>There are several different hotlines where one can receive support
> >>>for these specific issues, and can sometimes refer you to other
> >>>local resources for ongoing support. I cannot recall any specific
> >>>hotlines at the moment, but a simple internet search should provide
> >>>some resources.
> >>>
> >>>If you are looking for counseling regarding the loss of a loved one,
> >>>a local hospital should be able to provide you with some local
> >>>resources to help support you during your loss. They may also be
> >>>able to provide information regarding support groups for bipolar
> >>>disorder as well.
> >>>
> >>>Other resources you may wish to check out include 211 and domestic
> >>>violence crisis centers. The 211 service is a local service number
> >>>that lists various community services. And although your personal
> >>>situation with your girlfriend would not be classified as domestic
> >>>violence, a crisis center may be able to provide you with some
> >>>resources you can use to deal with your current relationship problem
> >>>as well as give you some tools for building healthy relationships in
> >>>the future.
> >>>
> >>>Finally, if you are a student, there are generally counselors on
> >>>campus who can help you through emotional -term problems which
> >>>prevent you from being a successful student. Services may range from
> >>>personal counseling to referral services to other resources in the
> >>> community.
> >>>
> >>>So while I believe expressing one's emotions is a rather healthy
> >>>thing to do, it can be more helpful and beneficial to express them
> >>>among a selected group of individuals rather than simply sharing
> >>>them with the whole entire world.
> >>>
> >>>Respectfully,
> >>>Elizabeth
> >>>
> >>>--------------------------------------------------
> >>>From: "Desiree Oudinot" <turtlepower17 at gmail.com>
> >>>Sent: Wednesday, February 13, 2013 5:44 PM
> >>>To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
> >>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
> >>>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.
> >>>
> >>>>hi Elizabeth,
> >>>>Your message wasn't directed at me, but I would like to come to Dave's
> >>>>defense here a bit, since I also shared some personal things about
> >>>>myself in my previous messages on this topic.
> >>>>I'm sorry, but if an employer takes the time to hunt through the
> >>>>archives of this list, and chooses not to hire me because I slipped
> >>>>and let a bit of emotion show, that's really their loss. I can't tell
> >>>>you how angry it makes me that most people in our society place no
> >>>>value whatsoever on one's emotional state. When I was growing up, I
> >>>>was told, in many different ways and by many people, directly and
> >>>>indirectly, that expressing emotions is bad and that I would be a
> >>>>failure in life for having them. As I've gotten older, I have seen how
> >>>>so many people go through their lives, hating their jobs, hating their
> >>>>lives, distrusting everyone, and all of this is a direct result of
> >>>>suppressing emotions. I could make a solid case for the fact that
> >>>>everything, from violence to infidelity in marriages to job
> >>>>dissatisfaction, is directly related to this, but I know this list
> >>>>isn't the place to go that deep into philosophical issues. What I feel
> >>>>needs to be said is that exposing a so-called weakness, reaching out
> >>>>in desperation because you don't know where to turn, shouldn't be a
> >>>>cause to jump down someone's throat. I'm not saying that's what you
> >>>>did, but I also feel that what Dave and I and a couple others did was
> >>>>not inherently wrong. I don't think it will doom us or cause immediate
> >>>>and permanent backlash.
> >>>>
> >>>>On 2/13/13, Elizabeth Mohnke <lizmohnke at hotmail.com> wrote:
> >>>>>Hello David,
> >>>>>
> >>>>>I do not mean to minimize the pain of your personal situation, but I am
> >>>>> not
> >>>>>
> >>>>>quite sure if this list is the appropriate place to share the intimate
> >>>>>details of your personal relationship.
> >>>>>
> >>>>>The emails you post to this email list are stored in a public archive.
> >>>>> This
> >>>>>
> >>>>>means that not only can your emails be viewed by those who are
> >>>>> subscribed
> >>>>> to
> >>>>>
> >>>>>this email list, but they can be viewed by anyone who has access to the
> >>>>>internet. With this in mind, you may wish to think twice about sharing
> >>>>> such
> >>>>>
> >>>>>personal information about yourself on this email list.
> >>>>>
> >>>>>In addition, the purpose of this email list is to discuss matters that
> >>>>> are
> >>>>>relevant to being a blind student. Please forgive me, but I fail to see
> >>>>> how
> >>>>>
> >>>>>disclosing intimate details regarding a personal relationship relates
> >>>>> to
> >>>>> the
> >>>>>
> >>>>>intended purpose of this email list. I can see how relationships in
> >>>>> general
> >>>>>
> >>>>>could be a relevant topic for this list, but I do not see how a
> >>>>> specific
> >>>>>individual detailed relationship problem would be   considered
> >>>>> appropriate
> >>>>>for this email list.
> >>>>>
> >>>>>Again, I am sorry to hear you are having such difficulties in your
> >>>>> personal
> >>>>>
> >>>>>life, but I believe the intimate details of your personal relationship
> >>>>> would
> >>>>>
> >>>>>be more suited for conversations that take place in private emails
> >>>>> rather
> >>>>>than in a public email list.
> >>>>>
> >>>>>Respectfully,
> >>>>>Elizabeth
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>--------------------------------------------------
> >>>>>From: "Dave Webster" <dwebster125 at gmail.com>
> >>>>>Sent: Wednesday, February 13, 2013 4:08 PM
> >>>>>To: "'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'"
> >>>>><nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
> >>>>>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.
> >>>>>
> >>>>>>Hi Katie thanks for the post.  I wanted to talk a bit about what
> >>>>>> actually
> >>>>>>happened between us.  I found everything out last night.  I had to
> >>>>>> really
> >>>>>>really talk to Terri about it.  She finally told me.  She said that
> >>>>>> there
> >>>>>>were some things about me that she thought she could handle in the
> >>>>>>beginning
> >>>>>>but when she through about it and when it actually happened she didn't
> >>>>>>think
> >>>>>>she could.  One of the things was the crying spells I go through.  I
> >>>>>>suffer
> >>>>>>from bipolar and my bipolar is more on the depressed side.  My grandma
> >>>>>>past
> >>>>>>away just about 3 weeks ago and that's when the depression and the
> >>>>>> crying
> >>>>>>spells really started.  It was hard for her because the crying spells
> >>>>>>were
> >>>>>>so intense and I would cry so hard, and I still do because this
> >>>>>>relationship
> >>>>>>didn't work out, but when my grandma died I would cry really hard.
> >>>>>> Some
> >>>>>>times they would last a wile.  She wanted to tell me before that she
> >>>>>>didn't
> >>>>>>think she could handle those but she didn't.  when she finally did
> >>>>>> tell
> >>>>>>me
> >>>>>>that's when she broke it off and before she told me that's when she
> >>>>>>started
> >>>>>>talking to this other person.  If she would have said something in the
> >>>>>>beginning it would have been easier.  I guess she felt like she was on
> >>>>>>egg
> >>>>>>shells because she would talk about her grand parents or her family
> >>>>>> and
> >>>>>>I'd
> >>>>>>start to cry.  I guess it was just really really hard for her.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>-----Original Message-----
> >>>>>>From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Kaiti
> >>>>>>Shelton
> >>>>>>Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 10:17 PM
> >>>>>>To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> >>>>>>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>Hi all,
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>I've just finished a long distance relationship by way of ditching the
> >>>>>>distance.  I met my boyfriend of almost two years at a summer music
> >>>>>>program
> >>>>>>we both attended several years ago.  We really hit it off the summer
> >>>>>>before
> >>>>>>my senior year and made the best of the long distance situation.  We
> >>>>>> were
> >>>>>>both in school and involved in clubs and band and stuff, but we made
> >>>>>> it
> >>>>>>work
> >>>>>>the best we could.  On our breaks he would come down to visit, and he
> >>>>>>even
> >>>>>>came for my senior prom so we could go together.  (Despite all our
> >>>>>> blind
> >>>>>>moments we had with trying to find our way around unfamiliar territory
> >>>>>>with
> >>>>>>a lot of people in the room it was really fun).  Last semester he
> >>>>>>finished
> >>>>>>up at his local community college and worked on transfering to a
> >>>>>>university
> >>>>>>in the same city as mine.  Now instead of living 300 miles away from
> >>>>>> me
> >>>>>>and
> >>>>>>in another state our universities are pretty close and we can see each
> >>>>>>other
> >>>>>>every few weeks.  Sure, we don't get to see each other every day, but
> >>>>>>with
> >>>>>>school for both of us it can't really be helped and it's a lot better
> >>>>>>than
> >>>>>>every few months.
> >>>>>>I don't necessarily think being blind or sighted has anything to do
> >>>>>> with
> >>>>>>the
> >>>>>>relationship.  As Mauricio and others have said it all boils down to
> >>>>>>preference of both people in the relationship, their communication
> >>>>>>skills,
> >>>>>>their patience for being in a long distance relationship, and a lot of
> >>>>>>other
> >>>>>>factors.  I do agree that sometimes blind people appear to enter into
> >>>>>>text-based relationships and get wrapped up in them more often than
> >>>>>>sighted
> >>>>>>people and this can sometimes be problematic, but otherwise blindness
> >>>>>> is
> >>>>>>just a trait, not a personality trait or something that really is
> >>>>>>important
> >>>>>>in a relationship.  I don't think long distance relationships are bad,
> >>>>>> or
> >>>>>>that they just don't work.  They're not for everyone, but if you're
> >>>>>>committed and patient and the other person is too it can actually
> >>>>>>strengthen
> >>>>>>the relationship.  I know I appreciate my situation now, and
> >>>>>> appreciated
> >>>>>>the
> >>>>>>times when my boyfriend would come to visit, because they were
> >>>>>>priviledges
> >>>>>>for both of us.
> >>>>>>High school long distance relationships sort of have their own
> >>>>>>restrictions,
> >>>>>>especially the further apart the people in the relationship are.  It
> >>>>>>always
> >>>>>>made me sad when my friends in high school would complain about not
> >>>>>>seeing
> >>>>>>their boyfriends over the weekend, or if they would question if they'd
> >>>>>>keep
> >>>>>>the relationship going once they and their boyfriend started going to
> >>>>>>different colleges in different cities because it seemed like they
> >>>>>> really
> >>>>>>didn't appreciate the time they spent with their boyfriend or were
> >>>>>> really
> >>>>>>willing to make things work.
> >>>>>>School schedules, activities like sports and clubs, and family life
> >>>>>> keep
> >>>>>>high school kids busy.  With the set schedules it's not like college
> >>>>>>where
> >>>>>>the people can meet for lunch or go out to dinner after or between
> >>>>>>classes.
> >>>>>>It's also a matter of transportation; bus tickets, gas, and certainly
> >>>>>>plane
> >>>>>>tickets cost money.  Of course I champion that the goal of a long
> >>>>>>distance
> >>>>>>relationship should be to make it short distance assuming everything
> >>>>>>works
> >>>>>>out, but if that can't happen easily for transportation, money, and
> >>>>>>school
> >>>>>>reasons than you might as well be as happy as possible together and
> >>>>>> make
> >>>>>>things work as it sounds like Sophie is doing.  It's just the
> >>>>>> practical
> >>>>>>thing to do considering the circumstances.  Kudos!
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>On 2/12/13, Desiree Oudinot <turtlepower17 at gmail.com> wrote:
> >>>>>>>I hope I didn't come off as saying that long distance relationships
> >>>>>>>are bad. I didn't mean to. While this is still a very emotional topic
> >>>>>>>for me, I fully respect the fact that for others, they don't go
> >>>>>>>through what I went through. All I was trying to convey is that you
> >>>>>>>should really keep both eyes, ears, and your heart and soul open when
> >>>>>>>going into these situations. then again, if people thought deeply
> >>>>>>> when
> >>>>>>>going into any relationship, no matter how near or far the other
> >>>>>>>person is, they might have more success. On the other hand, being
> >>>>>>>overly analytical, as I have a tendency to be, has its drawbacks,
> >>>>>>>namely that I go around and around in endless circles in my head,
> >>>>>>>never being able to draw any conclusion, endlessly agonizing over
> >>>>>>>every possible detail of things until I feel like I could explode.
> >>>>>>>I understand, to a degree, what you're dealing with. I deal with
> >>>>>>>depression and anxiety as well, and have for most of my life, so I
> >>>>>>>know how people react to that news. In my last relationship, the guy
> >>>>>>> I
> >>>>>>>was with liked to tell me how weak I was for being depressed, and how
> >>>>>>>I was unable to handle everyday stresses. Yet, he was on medications
> >>>>>>>for depression and anxiety as well, so he was being quite
> >>>>>>>hypocritical.
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>On 2/12/13, Sophie Trist <sweetpeareader at gmail.com> wrote:
> >>>>>>>>Um... I'M IN FREAKING HIGH SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry if you
> >>>>>>>>didn't know that... it just made me feel a little awkward. And, if
> >>>>>>>>you don't mind Koby, I'd rather not share the personal details of
> >>>>>>>> the
> >>>>>>>>relationship.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>  ----- Original Message -----
> >>>>>>>>From: "Koby Cox" <kobycox at gmail.com
> >>>>>>>>To: "'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'"
> >>>>>>>><nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> >>>>>>>>Date sent: Tue, 12 Feb 2013 19:31:37 -0600
> >>>>>>>>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello.  Wanted to post something to the list.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>Sophie,
> >>>>>>>>Are you guys engaged or can you tell me more about your alls
> >>>>>>>> relation
> >>>>>>>>ship?
> >>>>>>>>Thanks,
> >>>>>>>>Koby.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>-----Original Message-----
> >>>>>>>>From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Sophie
> >>>>>>>>Trist
> >>>>>>>>Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 6:56 PM
> >>>>>>>>To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> >>>>>>>>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>Sarah, long distance relationships can work. My boyfriend lives in
> >>>>>>>>Australia and we have been going out for over a year. We just chat
> >>>>>>>>through the phone and texts and stuff. We've een each other since we
> >>>>>>>>started being a couple. It's different, but it's feasible. A few bad
> >>>>>>>>experiences isn't enough to say you hate relationships. I believe
> >>>>>>>>that there is someone out there for everyone; it just takes time.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>Sincerely,
> >>>>>>>>Sophie
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>  ----- Original Message -----
> >>>>>>>>From: Sarah <coastergirl92 at gmail.com
> >>>>>>>>To: National Association of Blind Students mailing
> >>>>>>>>list<nabs-l at nfbnet.org Date sent: Tue, 12 Feb 2013 14:15:34 -0800
> >>>>>>>>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello.  Wanted to post something to the list.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>I cry every day.  I hate relationships, especially long whtance ones
> >>>>>>>>they never work.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>  ----- Original Message -----
> >>>>>>>>From: "Dave Webster" <dwebster125 at gmail.com
> >>>>>>>>To: "'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'"
> >>>>>>>><nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> >>>>>>>>Date sent: Tue, 12 Feb 2013 14:13:11 -0800
> >>>>>>>>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello.  Wanted to post something to the list.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>Yea thanks.  I think she did get scared but we had actually talked
> >>>>>>>>about that.  I mean hopefully we can talk but I'm not sure.  Its
> >>>>>>>>gonna take some time to get over this.  I've been going through a
> >>>>>>>> lot
> >>>>>>>>of crying spells.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>-----Original Message-----
> >>>>>>>>From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Gloria
> >>>>>>>> G
> >>>>>>>>Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 11:55 AM
> >>>>>>>>To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> >>>>>>>>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello.  Wanted to post something to the list.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>Hi,
> >>>>>>>>I am so sorry that happened to you.  You seem like a really nice guy
> >>>>>>>>and I think she just got scared.  Maybe after things cool off you
> >>>>>>>>guys can talk and figure out what happened.  Well I hope you feel
> >>>>>>>>better.  Try doing something that is fun for you just to get your
> >>>>>>>>mind off things.
> >>>>>>>>----- Original Message -----
> >>>>>>>>From: "Dave Webster" <dwebster125 at gmail.com
> >>>>>>>>To: "'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'"
> >>>>>>>><nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> >>>>>>>>Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 1:44 PM
> >>>>>>>>Subject: [nabs-l] Hello.  Wanted to post something to the list.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>  Hello all.  I'm Dave.  I am not a student right now.  I have
> >>>>>>>> bipolar
> >>>>>>>>and am unable to handle the stress of going to school.  I know that
> >>>>>>>>this may be off the topic of this list but I wanted to post it
> >>>>>>>>anyhow.
> >>>>>>>>  I just got out of a relationship.  It was a long distance one
> >>>>>>>> whare
> >>>>>>>>she lives in Michigan and I in California.  We started talking at
> >>>>>>>> the
> >>>>>>>>beginning of January right after new years.  We didn't mean to but
> >>>>>>>> we
> >>>>>>>>started to hit it off really really well.  About a week or so later
> >>>>>>>>she bought plane tickets for me to come out there to Michigan to see
> >>>>>>>>her.  If I liked it out there then I was most likely gonna stay and
> >>>>>>>>be  with her.  Right now I live in a board and care facility.  It
> >>>>>>>>turns  out that for a couple of weeks probably when she bought the
> >>>>>>>>tickets or  pretty soonn after she began having doubts and fears
> >>>>>>>>about the  relationship.  I had my doubts and had my fears as well
> >>>>>>>>and knew this  was a normal thing.  We talked about them but a few
> >>>>>>>>days later she  called the relationship off because there were some
> >>>>>>>>symptoms which  were rather minor ones that she said she couldn't
> >>>>>>>>handle.  It turns  out that she is now tomorrow going to see this
> >>>>>>>> guy
> >>>>>>>>in Colorado.
> >>>>>>>>Mind
> >>>>>>>>  you she doesn't know this guy and she didn't know me either but I
> >>>>>>>>feel  like we had something.  I feel like my emotions were played
> >>>>>>>>with and  I'm really hurt.  I was just wondering if any of you who
> >>>>>>>>want to could  help me through this.  I've been going through a lot
> >>>>>>>>of crying spells.
> >>>>>>>>  During this time on January 10th I lost my grandma.  She was 90
> >>>>>>>> and
> >>>>>>>>had bad dementia and died in her sleep on the evening of the tenth.
> >>>>>>>>  So I am trying to work with 2 losses right after another.
> >>>>>>>>Loosing my
> >>>>>>>>  grandma and loosing Terri.  Terri was someone that I could love
> >>>>>>>> and
> >>>>>>>>did love and still do.  I wish she wouldn't go to Colorado.
> >>>>>>>>  This guy that she's going to see has anxiety and depression as
> >>>>>>>> well
> >>>>>>>>and she found him on a sight for people with mental illnesses.
> >>>>>>>>Maybe
> >>>>>>>>  if any of you want to we could talk off list.  I've been going
> >>>>>>>>through  a lot of crying spells and sometimes I need help through
> >>>>>>>>them.
> >>>>>>>>My
> >>>>>>>>  friends, which by the way I don't have a lot of I feel like they
> >>>>>>>> may
> >>>>>>>>not be able to understand what's going on.  I feel like I wasn't
> >>>>>>>> good
> >>>>>>>>enough for her.  I'm just really really hurt.


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