[nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.

Chris Nusbaum dotkid.nusbaum at gmail.com
Tue Feb 19 04:46:07 UTC 2013


Dave,

Your thoughts do make sense to me, and I'm glad you shared them. Maybe you
would be able to help the moderators of this new list as they are beginning
to run their own list, if of course Desiree, Arielle and any others involved
would want that.

Chris

Chris Nusbaum, Co-Chair
Public Relations Committee
Maryland Association of Blind Students
Phone: (443) 547-2409


-----Original Message-----
From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of David Andrews
Sent: Monday, February 18, 2013 7:03 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.

As the list owner, and someone who has used lists, forums, and related
vehicles for over 25 years, I would like to point out a few things.

First, all of our regular lists have public archives, so anything you post
will be around, and viewable by all.  And finable by all, including future
employers.  I don't say that to quash conversation, but to make people aware
of the parameters.

When a list is successful, and running well people contribute and learn, and
a sense of community develops. I think that generally happens on this list.
So, people tend to support each other, and if some messages are off topic,
strictly speaking, it is tolerated.

As list owner I often walk a fine line, and I tend to be fairly lenient.  I
think we need some structure and guidelines for a list, but not too many.
There are clearly things that are appropriate for discussion, and things
that are not.  On the one hand, using disability services at a university
would be on topic here, and discussion of retirement benefits would not.
However, things aren't usually that clear cut.  Is discussion of
long-distance relationships, and breakups on topic here.  Someone could say
since I am a student, and since this happened to me, then yes.  I would say,
strictly speaking, no, but in terms of fostering community and support, some
discussion of this, or another topic is ok.  If it goes too far, or goes on
too long, I might step in and try to redirect things.

One thing I see, that you may not is that when something isn't working
people start to unsubscribe.  You wouldn't normally know that as a list
user, as most people just quietly go away.

There is also the point of view that anything is ok for discussion because
we are all blind, and going through it as a blind person.  I don't subscribe
to this, because with no restrictions, chaos soon ensues.  Each list has to
have a basic purpose or people don't know what to expect.

If we have a list where the discussion of relationships as a blind person
would be appropriate, it would probably be Blind Talk,
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk_nfbnet.org

I hope my rambling makes sense.  I am not getting on anyone, just trying to
explain my thoughts to the list.

David Andrews, List Owner


At 01:25 PM 2/18/2013, you wrote:
>Hi,
>I, too, have often wished that there was a list for discussing personal 
>and emotional problems as they relate to blindness. It's not 
>necessarily that the problems we face are different, but more often 
>than not, there is another dimension to explain. For example, if I went 
>to see a counselor about my depression, the first thing they would 
>probably tell me is that I need to get out more. That's the easiest 
>thing in the world for the average sighted person who has a car and a 
>job to say, after all. But in my case, it's not that simple.
>I live in a rural area where there's no public transportation or 
>Paratransit service. If I want to go somewhere, my parents are the ones 
>who decide that, despite the fact that I'm an adult, and, being an 
>adult, this is one of my greatest frustrations, being controlled in 
>this way. A counselor would probably just shrug and say, "suck it up, 
>not everyone has a car, either." They're only human too. How can they 
>be empathetic if they haven't experienced something similar? I would 
>like the perspective of a fellow blind person who's gone through 
>something similar, so that maybe they could tell me how they overcame 
>it. How they moved out with no support, because, without going too far 
>into it, my parents don't want me to do that, and I can't exactly hire 
>a moving van and drive it.  I have no one to turn to with these 
>problems, so having a support group of sorts would be nice.
>
>On 2/18/13, Ari Damoulakis <aridamoulakis at gmail.com> wrote:
> > I agree
> > David is blind, so I think there should be some sort of blind list 
> > where he can discuss these things, because, like it or not, the fact 
> > of blindness sometimes does play a role. Obviously there are 
> > mainstream services he can turn to, but maybe the blindness factor 
> > adds something to the support David is looking for.
> > I for example, there are many crises and things I would like answers 
> > and help with. There are many mainstream lists for the particular 
> > crisis and questions I have, but I want more a disabled and 
> > blindness point of view, or a disabled support group in dealing with 
> > my specific crisis I'm going through at the moment, but I just can't
find one.
> > Ari
> >
> > On 2/18/13, Carly Mihalakis <carlymih at comcast.net> wrote:
> >> Good morning, List,
> >>
> >> Lay off our good buddy, Dave! Too often it is a social protocol to 
> >> act like a machine, forever using pallid, impersonal terms for 
> >> expressing oneself. Don't people think there are enough of us, 
> >> forgoing emotion to express themselves, just so what they say fits 
> >> into somebody's box,is snug within somebody's form? And, in terms 
> >> of Dave's reaching out, in his state of personal crisis, to his 
> >> blind peers, Not a reason for crucifixion, I dare say.
> >> He's simply groping for support, and answers. I would think this 
> >> List a more supportive place, to air such crisies of the spirit? No?
> >> I guess in this case, we are family, but only to a point.:00 PM 
> >> 2/13/2013, Elizabeth Mohnke wrote:
> >>>Hello Desiree and List,
> >>>
> >>>I completely understand the need to express one's personal emotions.
> >>>However, I do not believe a public email list where the purpose is 
> >>>to discuss issues related to being a blind student is the most 
> >>>appropriate place to express such personal emotions. I believe 
> >>>personal matters are meant to be kept private, and today's role of 
> >>>social media has conditioned us to be more public with our private
lives.
> >>>
> >>>I agree with Arielle in that I believe what David is going through 
> >>>is rather common among the general public. However, I believe there 
> >>>are more effective ways in dealing with these issues rather than 
> >>>simply posting a mass email on an email list intended for blind
students.
> >>>
> >>>There are several different hotlines where one can receive support 
> >>>for these specific issues, and can sometimes refer you to other 
> >>>local resources for ongoing support. I cannot recall any specific 
> >>>hotlines at the moment, but a simple internet search should provide 
> >>>some resources.
> >>>
> >>>If you are looking for counseling regarding the loss of a loved 
> >>>one, a local hospital should be able to provide you with some local 
> >>>resources to help support you during your loss. They may also be 
> >>>able to provide information regarding support groups for bipolar 
> >>>disorder as well.
> >>>
> >>>Other resources you may wish to check out include 211 and domestic 
> >>>violence crisis centers. The 211 service is a local service number 
> >>>that lists various community services. And although your personal 
> >>>situation with your girlfriend would not be classified as domestic 
> >>>violence, a crisis center may be able to provide you with some 
> >>>resources you can use to deal with your current relationship 
> >>>problem as well as give you some tools for building healthy 
> >>>relationships in the future.
> >>>
> >>>Finally, if you are a student, there are generally counselors on 
> >>>campus who can help you through emotional -term problems which 
> >>>prevent you from being a successful student. Services may range 
> >>>from personal counseling to referral services to other resources in 
> >>>the  community.
> >>>
> >>>So while I believe expressing one's emotions is a rather healthy 
> >>>thing to do, it can be more helpful and beneficial to express them 
> >>>among a selected group of individuals rather than simply sharing 
> >>>them with the whole entire world.
> >>>
> >>>Respectfully,
> >>>Elizabeth
> >>>
> >>>--------------------------------------------------
> >>>From: "Desiree Oudinot" <turtlepower17 at gmail.com>
> >>>Sent: Wednesday, February 13, 2013 5:44 PM
> >>>To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
> >>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
> >>>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.
> >>>
> >>>>hi Elizabeth,
> >>>>Your message wasn't directed at me, but I would like to come to 
> >>>>Dave's defense here a bit, since I also shared some personal 
> >>>>things about myself in my previous messages on this topic.
> >>>>I'm sorry, but if an employer takes the time to hunt through the 
> >>>>archives of this list, and chooses not to hire me because I 
> >>>>slipped and let a bit of emotion show, that's really their loss. I 
> >>>>can't tell you how angry it makes me that most people in our 
> >>>>society place no value whatsoever on one's emotional state. When I 
> >>>>was growing up, I was told, in many different ways and by many 
> >>>>people, directly and indirectly, that expressing emotions is bad 
> >>>>and that I would be a failure in life for having them. As I've 
> >>>>gotten older, I have seen how so many people go through their 
> >>>>lives, hating their jobs, hating their lives, distrusting 
> >>>>everyone, and all of this is a direct result of suppressing 
> >>>>emotions. I could make a solid case for the fact that everything, 
> >>>>from violence to infidelity in marriages to job dissatisfaction, 
> >>>>is directly related to this, but I know this list isn't the place 
> >>>>to go that deep into philosophical issues. What I feel needs to be 
> >>>>said is that exposing a so-called weakness, reaching out in 
> >>>>desperation because you don't know where to turn, shouldn't be a 
> >>>>cause to jump down someone's throat. I'm not saying that's what 
> >>>>you did, but I also feel that what Dave and I and a couple others 
> >>>>did was not inherently wrong. I don't think it will doom us or cause
immediate and permanent backlash.
> >>>>
> >>>>On 2/13/13, Elizabeth Mohnke <lizmohnke at hotmail.com> wrote:
> >>>>>Hello David,
> >>>>>
> >>>>>I do not mean to minimize the pain of your personal situation, 
> >>>>>but I am  not
> >>>>>
> >>>>>quite sure if this list is the appropriate place to share the 
> >>>>>intimate details of your personal relationship.
> >>>>>
> >>>>>The emails you post to this email list are stored in a public
archive.
> >>>>> This
> >>>>>
> >>>>>means that not only can your emails be viewed by those who are  
> >>>>>subscribed  to
> >>>>>
> >>>>>this email list, but they can be viewed by anyone who has access 
> >>>>>to the internet. With this in mind, you may wish to think twice 
> >>>>>about sharing  such
> >>>>>
> >>>>>personal information about yourself on this email list.
> >>>>>
> >>>>>In addition, the purpose of this email list is to discuss matters 
> >>>>>that  are relevant to being a blind student. Please forgive me, 
> >>>>>but I fail to see  how
> >>>>>
> >>>>>disclosing intimate details regarding a personal relationship 
> >>>>>relates  to  the
> >>>>>
> >>>>>intended purpose of this email list. I can see how relationships 
> >>>>>in  general
> >>>>>
> >>>>>could be a relevant topic for this list, but I do not see how a  
> >>>>>specific
> >>>>>individual detailed relationship problem would be   considered
> >>>>> appropriate
> >>>>>for this email list.
> >>>>>
> >>>>>Again, I am sorry to hear you are having such difficulties in 
> >>>>>your  personal
> >>>>>
> >>>>>life, but I believe the intimate details of your personal 
> >>>>>relationship  would
> >>>>>
> >>>>>be more suited for conversations that take place in private 
> >>>>>emails  rather than in a public email list.
> >>>>>
> >>>>>Respectfully,
> >>>>>Elizabeth
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>--------------------------------------------------
> >>>>>From: "Dave Webster" <dwebster125 at gmail.com>
> >>>>>Sent: Wednesday, February 13, 2013 4:08 PM
> >>>>>To: "'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'"
> >>>>><nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
> >>>>>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.
> >>>>>
> >>>>>>Hi Katie thanks for the post.  I wanted to talk a bit about what  
> >>>>>>actually happened between us.  I found everything out last 
> >>>>>>night.  I had to  really really talk to Terri about it.  She 
> >>>>>>finally told me.  She said that  there were some things about me 
> >>>>>>that she thought she could handle in the beginning but when she 
> >>>>>>through about it and when it actually happened she didn't think 
> >>>>>>she could.  One of the things was the crying spells I go 
> >>>>>>through.  I suffer from bipolar and my bipolar is more on the 
> >>>>>>depressed side.  My grandma past away just about 3 weeks ago and 
> >>>>>>that's when the depression and the  crying spells really 
> >>>>>>started.  It was hard for her because the crying spells were so 
> >>>>>>intense and I would cry so hard, and I still do because this 
> >>>>>>relationship didn't work out, but when my grandma died I would 
> >>>>>>cry really hard.
> >>>>>> Some
> >>>>>>times they would last a wile.  She wanted to tell me before that 
> >>>>>>she didn't think she could handle those but she didn't.  when 
> >>>>>>she finally did  tell me that's when she broke it off and before 
> >>>>>>she told me that's when she started talking to this other 
> >>>>>>person.  If she would have said something in the beginning it 
> >>>>>>would have been easier.  I guess she felt like she was on egg 
> >>>>>>shells because she would talk about her grand parents or her 
> >>>>>>family  and I'd start to cry.  I guess it was just really really 
> >>>>>>hard for her.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>-----Original Message-----
> >>>>>>From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of 
> >>>>>>Kaiti Shelton
> >>>>>>Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 10:17 PM
> >>>>>>To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> >>>>>>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>Hi all,
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>I've just finished a long distance relationship by way of 
> >>>>>>ditching the distance.  I met my boyfriend of almost two years 
> >>>>>>at a summer music program we both attended several years ago.  
> >>>>>>We really hit it off the summer before my senior year and made 
> >>>>>>the best of the long distance situation.  We  were both in 
> >>>>>>school and involved in clubs and band and stuff, but we made  it 
> >>>>>>work the best we could.  On our breaks he would come down to 
> >>>>>>visit, and he even came for my senior prom so we could go 
> >>>>>>together.  (Despite all our  blind moments we had with trying to 
> >>>>>>find our way around unfamiliar territory with a lot of people in 
> >>>>>>the room it was really fun).  Last semester he finished up at 
> >>>>>>his local community college and worked on transfering to a 
> >>>>>>university in the same city as mine.  Now instead of living 300 
> >>>>>>miles away from  me and in another state our universities are 
> >>>>>>pretty close and we can see each other every few weeks.  Sure, 
> >>>>>>we don't get to see each other every day, but with school for 
> >>>>>>both of us it can't really be helped and it's a lot better than 
> >>>>>>every few months.
> >>>>>>I don't necessarily think being blind or sighted has anything to 
> >>>>>>do  with the relationship.  As Mauricio and others have said it 
> >>>>>>all boils down to preference of both people in the relationship, 
> >>>>>>their communication skills, their patience for being in a long 
> >>>>>>distance relationship, and a lot of other factors.  I do agree 
> >>>>>>that sometimes blind people appear to enter into text-based 
> >>>>>>relationships and get wrapped up in them more often than sighted 
> >>>>>>people and this can sometimes be problematic, but otherwise 
> >>>>>>blindness  is just a trait, not a personality trait or something 
> >>>>>>that really is important in a relationship.  I don't think long 
> >>>>>>distance relationships are bad,  or that they just don't work.  
> >>>>>>They're not for everyone, but if you're committed and patient 
> >>>>>>and the other person is too it can actually strengthen the 
> >>>>>>relationship.  I know I appreciate my situation now, and  
> >>>>>>appreciated the times when my boyfriend would come to visit, 
> >>>>>>because they were priviledges for both of us.
> >>>>>>High school long distance relationships sort of have their own 
> >>>>>>restrictions, especially the further apart the people in the 
> >>>>>>relationship are.  It always made me sad when my friends in high 
> >>>>>>school would complain about not seeing their boyfriends over the 
> >>>>>>weekend, or if they would question if they'd keep the 
> >>>>>>relationship going once they and their boyfriend started going 
> >>>>>>to different colleges in different cities because it seemed like 
> >>>>>>they  really didn't appreciate the time they spent with their 
> >>>>>>boyfriend or were  really willing to make things work.
> >>>>>>School schedules, activities like sports and clubs, and family 
> >>>>>>life  keep high school kids busy.  With the set schedules it's 
> >>>>>>not like college where the people can meet for lunch or go out 
> >>>>>>to dinner after or between classes.
> >>>>>>It's also a matter of transportation; bus tickets, gas, and 
> >>>>>>certainly plane tickets cost money.  Of course I champion that 
> >>>>>>the goal of a long distance relationship should be to make it 
> >>>>>>short distance assuming everything works out, but if that can't 
> >>>>>>happen easily for transportation, money, and school reasons than 
> >>>>>>you might as well be as happy as possible together and  make 
> >>>>>>things work as it sounds like Sophie is doing.  It's just the  
> >>>>>>practical thing to do considering the circumstances.  Kudos!
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>On 2/12/13, Desiree Oudinot <turtlepower17 at gmail.com> wrote:
> >>>>>>>I hope I didn't come off as saying that long distance 
> >>>>>>>relationships are bad. I didn't mean to. While this is still a 
> >>>>>>>very emotional topic for me, I fully respect the fact that for 
> >>>>>>>others, they don't go through what I went through. All I was 
> >>>>>>>trying to convey is that you should really keep both eyes, 
> >>>>>>>ears, and your heart and soul open when going into these 
> >>>>>>>situations. then again, if people thought deeply  when going 
> >>>>>>>into any relationship, no matter how near or far the other 
> >>>>>>>person is, they might have more success. On the other hand, 
> >>>>>>>being overly analytical, as I have a tendency to be, has its 
> >>>>>>>drawbacks, namely that I go around and around in endless 
> >>>>>>>circles in my head, never being able to draw any conclusion, 
> >>>>>>>endlessly agonizing over every possible detail of things until I
feel like I could explode.
> >>>>>>>I understand, to a degree, what you're dealing with. I deal 
> >>>>>>>with depression and anxiety as well, and have for most of my 
> >>>>>>>life, so I know how people react to that news. In my last 
> >>>>>>>relationship, the guy  I was with liked to tell me how weak I 
> >>>>>>>was for being depressed, and how I was unable to handle 
> >>>>>>>everyday stresses. Yet, he was on medications for depression 
> >>>>>>>and anxiety as well, so he was being quite hypocritical.
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>On 2/12/13, Sophie Trist <sweetpeareader at gmail.com> wrote:
> >>>>>>>>Um... I'M IN FREAKING HIGH SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry if 
> >>>>>>>>you didn't know that... it just made me feel a little awkward. 
> >>>>>>>>And, if you don't mind Koby, I'd rather not share the personal 
> >>>>>>>>details of  the relationship.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>  ----- Original Message -----
> >>>>>>>>From: "Koby Cox" <kobycox at gmail.com
> >>>>>>>>To: "'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'"
> >>>>>>>><nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> >>>>>>>>Date sent: Tue, 12 Feb 2013 19:31:37 -0600
> >>>>>>>>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello.  Wanted to post something to the
list.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>Sophie,
> >>>>>>>>Are you guys engaged or can you tell me more about your alls  
> >>>>>>>>relation ship?
> >>>>>>>>Thanks,
> >>>>>>>>Koby.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>-----Original Message-----
> >>>>>>>>From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of 
> >>>>>>>>Sophie Trist
> >>>>>>>>Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 6:56 PM
> >>>>>>>>To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> >>>>>>>>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>Sarah, long distance relationships can work. My boyfriend 
> >>>>>>>>lives in Australia and we have been going out for over a year. 
> >>>>>>>>We just chat through the phone and texts and stuff. We've een 
> >>>>>>>>each other since we started being a couple. It's different, 
> >>>>>>>>but it's feasible. A few bad experiences isn't enough to say 
> >>>>>>>>you hate relationships. I believe that there is someone out there
for everyone; it just takes time.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>Sincerely,
> >>>>>>>>Sophie
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>  ----- Original Message -----
> >>>>>>>>From: Sarah <coastergirl92 at gmail.com
> >>>>>>>>To: National Association of Blind Students mailing 
> >>>>>>>>list<nabs-l at nfbnet.org Date sent: Tue, 12 Feb 2013 14:15:34 
> >>>>>>>>-0800
> >>>>>>>>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello.  Wanted to post something to the
list.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>I cry every day.  I hate relationships, especially long 
> >>>>>>>>whtance ones they never work.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>  ----- Original Message -----
> >>>>>>>>From: "Dave Webster" <dwebster125 at gmail.com
> >>>>>>>>To: "'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'"
> >>>>>>>><nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> >>>>>>>>Date sent: Tue, 12 Feb 2013 14:13:11 -0800
> >>>>>>>>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello.  Wanted to post something to the
list.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>Yea thanks.  I think she did get scared but we had actually 
> >>>>>>>>talked about that.  I mean hopefully we can talk but I'm not 
> >>>>>>>>sure.  Its gonna take some time to get over this.  I've been 
> >>>>>>>>going through a  lot of crying spells.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>-----Original Message-----
> >>>>>>>>From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of 
> >>>>>>>>Gloria  G
> >>>>>>>>Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 11:55 AM
> >>>>>>>>To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> >>>>>>>>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello.  Wanted to post something to the
list.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>Hi,
> >>>>>>>>I am so sorry that happened to you.  You seem like a really 
> >>>>>>>>nice guy and I think she just got scared.  Maybe after things 
> >>>>>>>>cool off you guys can talk and figure out what happened.  Well 
> >>>>>>>>I hope you feel better.  Try doing something that is fun for 
> >>>>>>>>you just to get your mind off things.
> >>>>>>>>----- Original Message -----
> >>>>>>>>From: "Dave Webster" <dwebster125 at gmail.com
> >>>>>>>>To: "'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'"
> >>>>>>>><nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> >>>>>>>>Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 1:44 PM
> >>>>>>>>Subject: [nabs-l] Hello.  Wanted to post something to the list.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>  Hello all.  I'm Dave.  I am not a student right now.  I have  
> >>>>>>>>bipolar and am unable to handle the stress of going to school.  
> >>>>>>>>I know that this may be off the topic of this list but I 
> >>>>>>>>wanted to post it anyhow.
> >>>>>>>>  I just got out of a relationship.  It was a long distance 
> >>>>>>>>one  whare she lives in Michigan and I in California.  We 
> >>>>>>>>started talking at  the beginning of January right after new 
> >>>>>>>>years.  We didn't mean to but  we started to hit it off really 
> >>>>>>>>really well.  About a week or so later she bought plane 
> >>>>>>>>tickets for me to come out there to Michigan to see her.  If I 
> >>>>>>>>liked it out there then I was most likely gonna stay and be  
> >>>>>>>>with her.  Right now I live in a board and care facility.  It 
> >>>>>>>>turns  out that for a couple of weeks probably when she bought 
> >>>>>>>>the tickets or  pretty soonn after she began having doubts and 
> >>>>>>>>fears about the  relationship.  I had my doubts and had my 
> >>>>>>>>fears as well and knew this  was a normal thing.  We talked 
> >>>>>>>>about them but a few days later she  called the relationship 
> >>>>>>>>off because there were some symptoms which  were rather minor 
> >>>>>>>>ones that she said she couldn't handle.  It turns  out that 
> >>>>>>>>she is now tomorrow going to see this  guy in Colorado.
> >>>>>>>>Mind
> >>>>>>>>  you she doesn't know this guy and she didn't know me either 
> >>>>>>>>but I feel  like we had something.  I feel like my emotions 
> >>>>>>>>were played with and  I'm really hurt.  I was just wondering 
> >>>>>>>>if any of you who want to could  help me through this.  I've 
> >>>>>>>>been going through a lot of crying spells.
> >>>>>>>>  During this time on January 10th I lost my grandma.  She was 
> >>>>>>>>90  and had bad dementia and died in her sleep on the evening 
> >>>>>>>>of the tenth.
> >>>>>>>>  So I am trying to work with 2 losses right after another.
> >>>>>>>>Loosing my
> >>>>>>>>  grandma and loosing Terri.  Terri was someone that I could 
> >>>>>>>>love  and did love and still do.  I wish she wouldn't go to 
> >>>>>>>>Colorado.
> >>>>>>>>  This guy that she's going to see has anxiety and depression 
> >>>>>>>>as  well and she found him on a sight for people with mental 
> >>>>>>>>illnesses.
> >>>>>>>>Maybe
> >>>>>>>>  if any of you want to we could talk off list.  I've been 
> >>>>>>>>going through  a lot of crying spells and sometimes I need 
> >>>>>>>>help through them.
> >>>>>>>>My
> >>>>>>>>  friends, which by the way I don't have a lot of I feel like 
> >>>>>>>>they  may not be able to understand what's going on.  I feel 
> >>>>>>>>like I wasn't  good enough for her.  I'm just really really 
> >>>>>>>>hurt.


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