[nabs-l] Some Questions...

Sat Jun 8 22:28:29 UTC 2013

I am one who has suffered form low self esteem. From kindergarten through
high school I was teased daily. I am legally blind so I fit in no where. No
one understands that I can't just "get glasses"  I feel my low self esteem
did not allow me to really find a passion as a young child or teen. There
was never a time I though, "Oh I want to be a …" I was to busy hoping for
one day of not being teased.

I had no real support in school as far as being pushed to excel my school
counselor basically just set me up to o the minimum to get into state
college (Prior to that in Catholic school I won the county math competition
both 7th and 8th grade and was accepted into Catholic high school with
honors) Unfortunately I chose to go to public school starting in 9th grade.
I only went to Catholic school 5th-8th and I have to say there was much
less teasing there.

I went straight into college for computer science.  I really didn't have
the skills necessary to find the right accommodations. I had never used a
monocular for the board. My itinerant teacher really do do anything but
provide large print book in high school. I was doing terrible in math
classes because I was missing out on all the material form the board. I
began to question was this field to visual? I had no mentors who were
visually impaired or blind. I didn't know anyone with vision impairment who
was employed. I started to think I should do things that would be "easier"
like being a special ed teacher for blind because I knew that there were
blind people in that job or major in languages and translate. I really had
zero interest in those fields. I ended up leaving school because I had no
real direction or confidence.

I have been in and out of school worked as a programmer and as a Montessori
primary teacher. I feel I wasted a lot of my life because I lacked
confidence which led to a lack of direction.

My confidence improved by something completely different which was
competitive bodybuilding. I met a lot of people and became better at
getting to know people.

I am now 49 and just went back to school in Jan to finish my computer
science degree. I have been in and out of college since high school but had
always let fear and low self esteem dictate my decisions. This semester
went great as I found solutions when situations arose. I received 4 A+'s
and an A.

I fell you need to look inside and figure out what you enjoy. Do you like
to be challenged mentally? Do you like to work with people? Look at careers
you can support yourself on. Do not jump straight into work as you may not
get rehab to support you again if you choose college. Also what out for
taking to many classed just to see what you like financial aid only covers
so many attempted units. I have tons of unit form my AS degree that do not
count toward my BS but financial aid is counting them. I will only get aid
for  22 more unit but I have about 60 to go.

If you think you want a 4 year degree than tell rehab that is what you want.

Suzanne

On Fri, Jun 7, 2013 at 4:43 PM, Kerri Kosten <kerrik2006 at gmail.com> wrote:

> Hi Everyone:
>
> I don't want to say too much on a public list, so I am going to try to
> keep this very general and just ask my questions.
> Basically, how did you decide what you wanted to do in life for a career?
> How did you pick your major?
> If you do not have much confidence in yourself, how did you find out
> what you were passionate about/wanted to do?
> How did you find internal motivation?
> How did you decide whether to go to school, or just get a job?
> What jobs can blind people do without a degree?
> What jobs can a blind person do just to gain confidence in themselves
> until they find direction?
> I find myself really struggling now that I am out of training. I did
> really well in training, but the goals I set in training do not apply
> now in the situation I am in because those goals were training
> specific. I think I also did really well in training because it was a
> routine and I got used to it. I was also always told what to do, or
> knew what I needed to work on in each class.
> I am really struggling finding motivation now that I am on my own and
> don't have the training center staff encouraging me, pushing me, and
> telling me what to do.
> My problem I think is if I am scared of someone, or I really
> respect/admire someone, or I am intimidated by someone, I will work as
> hard as I can and make sure to do everything they say. But, when just
> left to myself, on my own, I really really struggle to find
> motivation, make decisions about things, and find direction.
> Does anyone else find themselves struggling with this kind of thing
> after training or am I the only one?
> How have you gotten through it and found direction/your passion and
> what you wanted to do?
> The problem is my Rehab counselor called me today. He is someone I
> really respect. I am now stressing out because I want to at least have
> a plan for him when I return his call. I at least want him to think
> that after spending so much money to send me to training, I am
> motivated and am doing things and taking some sort of action rather
> than sitting around.
> But, I have no idea what jobs to look for or what to do. A Dunkin
> Donuts just opened here recently. Is there anything I could do there?
> I just want to show my counselor I have been doing something or at
> least have a plan.
> Thanks so much, and I look forward to reading your responses!
> Kerri
>
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