[nabs-l] CanI dance if I want to?

justin williams justin.williams2 at gmail.com
Mon May 13 03:04:07 UTC 2013


Didn't think about cane instruction.  So, here goes.  I use a folding cane
attached to a belt that I where; I always where belts, and the cane is in a
cane cati which is velcrowed to the belt.  The rest of that advice is real
good.

-----Original Message-----
From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Kaiti Shelton
Sent: Monday, May 13, 2013 10:00 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] CanI dance if I want to?

Hi all,

I've been to quite a few dancing functions, (wedding receptions, homecomings
and prom, formals and semiformals at my university, etc).
I think as long as you're moving to the beat and you're having a good time
it's not a huge deal.  A lot of the time the other people around you will be
so caught up in their own dancing or socializing that they won't really take
much notice if you're doing something slightly unconventional.  When in
doubt you could always step from side to side and just get your shoulders
into it.  For guys leading a slow dance mainly involves putting your hands
on the girl's waist or shoulders, (whichever she's comfortable with), and
just swaying as you step in a circle.  It can be a little awkward the first
time you do it, but it is for most guys from what I've seen.

Guys have the advantage of having deep pockets.  When I went to prom my
boyfriend had a straight cane and I had a folding one, so we left his at our
table and I lead with him holding onto my elbow until we got to the dance
floor, then I folded up and he put the cane in his tux pocket.  At the last
formal we went to I had a telescopic cane and a purse which handily enough
had metal rings between the top of the purse and the ends of the straps.  I
was able to slide the cane through the loops and because the rings were the
right size it was a pretty secure fit.  It was kind of annoying wearing the
purse after a while though, and I think I eventually just put it on the
table with my coat and went without it.  I strategically chose my table, so
it wasn't really an issue of knowing where to go to find it when I needed to
during the dance.

I've been trying to figure out better ways to go about stowing the cane
myself, especially when wearing formalwear like a prom dress as opposed to
just a nicer homecoming-style one.  I like taking smaller canes that fold up
or telescope for situations like this, so I probably won't ever bring a
straight cane to something like this and save eit for more day-to-day use.
I think just finding n easily locatable spot is key not just for your cane,
but so you can find all your other stuff when your done dancing.

On 5/13/13, Darian Smith <dsmithnfb at gmail.com> wrote:
> Yes that does sound pretty funny, now that you mention it, Arielle.  
> But it's not like guys (not  many  of them at least), rock a purse so. 
> hahahaha On May 13, 2013, at 6:12 PM, Arielle Silverman
<arielle71 at gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> Right, but if I'm going dancing I'm not going to be wearing anything 
>> that holds a belt! How can you stow a cane on a dress? Just thinking 
>> about it is kind of hilarious!
>> Arielle
>>
>> On 5/13/13, Kirt Manwaring <kirt.crazydude at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> HI Arielle,
>>>  I've seen those funky cane holster thingies that attach to a belt 
>>> loop or something, maybe there are versions somewhere for telescopic 
>>> canes?  I think they look kind of silly, personally but I suppose 
>>> it's an option.
>>>  Best,
>>> Kirt
>>>
>>> On 5/13/13, Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> Hi all,
>>>> I was fortunate to grow up among many Jewish kids who all had bar 
>>>> and bat mitzvahs, (Jewish celebrations of coming-of-age that happen 
>>>> at age
>>>> 12 or 13) and most had dance parties for their bar and bat 
>>>> mitzvahs, so I became comfortable with dancing and potentially 
>>>> looking stupid at quite a young age. :) I'm sure some people taught 
>>>> me how to dance, though I can't remember who and honestly, by now 
>>>> I've forgotten most of my formal instruction. I do remember being 
>>>> told that dancing is mainly about having fun and just moving your 
>>>> body to the beat of the music. I'm sure I don't dance perfectly but 
>>>> I've always had fun and nobody has ever criticized my dancing or 
>>>> not wanted to be with me on the dance floor because of my dancing. 
>>>> So I don't think you need to worry too much about how you appear to 
>>>> others. If the group is doing a line dance like the YMCA, and you 
>>>> don't know the moves for that particular dance, there's no problem 
>>>> with sitting it out or just moving off the dance floor to talk to 
>>>> people, or go get a drink or snack or whatever, during that song. 
>>>> If you want to learn some things, you could ask a friend or family 
>>>> member who has lots of dancing experience to teach you or just to 
>>>> watch your moves and tell you what's good and what you could change 
>>>> or improve on. Also, slow dancing is easy for girls who are just 
>>>> supposed to follow the man, but if you're a guy and want to learn 
>>>> how to slow-dance with women you may want to get a little bit of formal
instruction.
>>>> One thing I haven't quite figured out yet is where to put my cane 
>>>> while dancing. When I was younger I would just go with a sighted 
>>>> friend and stash my cane at a table while my friend and I danced. 
>>>> Now I'm less comfortable being with the same person all night and 
>>>> I'd like to be able to keep track of my cane myself without having 
>>>> it on the dance floor with me. If I go to a dancing event I usually 
>>>> am not wearing clothes that allow for storage of a telescoping 
>>>> cane, unless I bring a purse and keep it on me while dancing, which 
>>>> I suppose is an option. I'm curious if others have found good ways 
>>>> to manage this issue. The best solution I've used is to find a 
>>>> sound landmark of some sort like the bar or music stand and put my 
>>>> cane in a corner near that spot. But this doesn't work as well in large
venues.
>>>> Arielle
>>>>
>>>> On 5/12/13, justin williams <justin.williams2 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>> Get a guy then; it's cool.  That works.  Longg as he can dance a 
>>>>> little, and is a good teacher.  Tell him to move you your body for 
>>>>> you at first so you can get the movement.  In japah, that is how 
>>>>> the black belts teach the white belts.  That is how my instructor 
>>>>> instructs me.  Also, if you don't drink, then that is fine too.  
>>>>> That is just a trick I use.  You can do the same thing with a cup 
>>>>> of water, or a soda; it should work the same way.  If you don't 
>>>>> want to hang onto a cup like that, then any of the other methods 
>>>>> will work just fine.  You just got to mix and match my man.  Mix 
>>>>> and match.
>>>>>
>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of 
>>>>> Darian Smith
>>>>> Sent: Monday, May 13, 2013 8:10 PM
>>>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] CanI dance if I want to?
>>>>>
>>>>> Hi listers:  should gender matter  in who teaches you?
>>>>> and  what would you suggest if you cannot or  choose not to  
>>>>> partake in alcoholic  beverages?
>>>>> I think these are very interesting points indeed,  Just curious as 
>>>>> to other ways you might go about it?
>>>>> Thanks Justin!
>>>>>
>>>>>  Darian
>>>>>
>>>>> On May 12, 2013, at 3:59 PM, justin williams 
>>>>> <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> Get a friend, preferably a girl to teach you how to dance.  
>>>>>> Sometimes keeping a drink in your hand will give you an excuse not to
dance.
>>>>>> Personally, I avoid dance clubs like the plague if at all 
>>>>>> possible; however, there are just times in social situations 
>>>>>> where you just have to shake a leg.  Do the best you can.  Just 
>>>>>> move your hips and try to keep up with the beat.  There are a lot 
>>>>>> of other people out there with you who can't dance either.  They 
>>>>>> also look terrible.  If you drink, it loosen's you up just a 
>>>>>> little.  It doen't make you better, you jus think you are.  Smile 
>>>>>> just a little even if you don't like dancing, or aren't very good 
>>>>>> at it.  The appearance of enjoyment, or hopefully you are 
>>>>>> actually enjoying your self, lets everyone see that you are 
>>>>>> confident; you can't dance and you know it, but you don't care.  
>>>>>> It helps.  I feel you man; I'm in the same boat as you accept I 
>>>>>> have learned a few tricks to fake it until I can get off of the 
>>>>>> dance floor.  I get fairly drunk on nights like that if I go out 
>>>>>> with a group of people because I am using trips to the bar as an 
>>>>>> excuse not to
>>>>> dance.  Remember, if possible, get a friend, especially a girl to 
>>>>> teach you.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of 
>>>>>> Darian Smith
>>>>>> Sent: Monday, May 13, 2013 6:36 PM
>>>>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>>>>> Subject: [nabs-l] CanI dance if I want to?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Hi all,
>>>>>> Please  excuse  the slight 80's song reference,  but I am curious 
>>>>>> about how you all go about attending social functions where 
>>>>>> dancing is a part of the atmosphere?
>>>>>> Do you decide to not  take part in it because you don't know how 
>>>>>> to dance?
>>>>>> are you too shy?   Do you just get out there regardless?
>>>>>> On Dancing, how do you learn how to dance  if you can't do what a 
>>>>>> lot of folks do and watch it  on television  or the internet?
>>>>>> Thanks!
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Darian
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--
Kaiti

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