[nabs-l] offensive questions
Arielle Silverman
arielle71 at gmail.com
Wed May 29 02:13:01 UTC 2013
Hi Miso and all,
I can see how the Blindness novel has symbolic meaning for readers.
However, I think it's a shame that Saramago chose a real condition,
blindness, to illustrate his concepts. Blindness is a condition that
affects real people who are sensitive to how they are portrayed in
literature and other forms of media. What would happen if a book were
published in which everyone's skin became black and this led to them
becoming uncivilized? I doubt it would be distributed in today's AP
lit classes. I know you just read it for school, but it's something to
think about.
I'm also disappointed that your class engaged in blindfolded
activities where the blindfolded had to depend on the sighted for
help. What kind of impression did this give your classmates about what
blind people are capable of doing? We've just talked here about how
sighted people think they would be helpless if blind and this
underlies a lot of their patronizing behavior. How might their
experience of needing to be guided everywhere have affected their
beliefs about blindness or about you as their blind classmate? It's
nice to be in a situation where the tables are turned and you as the
blind person are taking the lead in educating people, but I wish this
could have happened without the blindfolding and helplessness of your
classmates.
Miso, I'm not criticizing you; I'm just critiquing how your teacher
handled blindness in your class. I think there could have been a
better way, one that communicates a realistic view of what it's like
to be blind.
Arielle
On 5/28/13, Sophie Trist <sweetpeareader at gmail.com> wrote:
> Melissa, while I had to laugh at your funny email, I disagree
> with you. If we want sighties to stop patronizing us, we have to
> be polite and respectful to them. If we don't educate them and
> instead be rude to them and patronize them, no progress will be
> made. I know it's hard. I know it's not been easy to be
> respectful and patient. Sometimes, when I'm reading or writing
> and someone asks me ten billion questions about my braillenote
> like it's some kind of machine from outer space, I just wanna
> say, "I'm busy here. Leave me alone." But because I want them to
> know that I can do anything they can do and to prove that my
> blindness doesn't make me an antisocial psychopath, I stop and
> briefly explain my braillenote to them. The same goes for my
> iPhone with voiceover or anything else I use or do. Patience can
> get us places. After all, a lot of times sighties have to explain
> things to us (or at least to me) about things like colors and
> fashion. All I'm saying is, treat others how you wanna be
> treated.
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "melissa Green" <lissa1531 at gmail.com
> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> Date sent: Tue, 28 May 2013 16:32:18 -0600
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] offensive questions
>
> If I ruled the world.
> All of the sighted people would be blind for a few years.
> The blind would be in control and we would do all the patronizing
> things
> that they do to us to them.
> *dreamful sigh*.
>
> Sincerely,
> Melissa and Pj
> "Forever is composed of nows." -Emily Dickinson
> facebook Melissa R Green
> Linkedin www.linkedin.com/in/melissagreen5674
> skype: lissa5674
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Arielle Silverman" <arielle71 at gmail.com
> To: "Misty Dawn Bradley" <MistyDBradley at gmail.com>; "National
> Association of
> Blind Students mailing list" <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> Sent: Monday, May 27, 2013 7:45 PM
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] offensive questions
>
>
> Misty,
> What happened to you yesterday sounds very aggravating. If I may
> ask,
> was this offending person an employee at an establishment where
> you
> were hanging out, or just someone who was part of your social
> group?
> If she was an employee, then perhaps you might want to call the
> manager and complain about what happened? It's one thing to ask
> questions, but what's maddening about this situation is that it
> sounds
> like you told her how you do things, and how you prefer to be
> treated,
> and she simply didn't listen. I often feel like strangers I
> encounter
> on the street don't fully listen to what I am saying. Sometimes
> if I
> do need some information and ask a question, they don't really
> listen
> to my question and just say what they think I want to hear. For
> example, on Saturday I was walking through a parking lot to get
> to a
> restaurant. There was a sidewalk path, but I remembered that it
> had
> been under construction and was walking in the parking lot to
> avoid
> the construction. Someone came up and offered to help me get back
> on
> the sidewalk. I asked him if the sidewalk barricades had been
> removed,
> but instead of answering me he kept saying he wanted to help me
> get
> back on the sidewalk and going on about how dangerous it was for
> me to
> be walking in the parking lot. Anyway, I finally had to stop him
> and
> say "Could you please answer the question I'm asking you? Are
> there
> barricades on the sidewalk?" and finally he told me the
> barricades had
> been removed. It would have gone much faster for both of us if he
> had
> just answered my original question the first time and then I
> could
> have moved to the sidewalk without assistance.
> I also think the patronizing actions of others are most
> frustrating of
> all. Too often I have people patting me on the arm or telling me
> I'm
> doing a good job as I walk by them, as if I need a cheerleader. I
> sometimes am tempted to grab some of these people, inform them
> that I
> will be receiving my Ph.D. in the next year, and then ask them if
> they
> would speak to an adult of my educational stature this way?
> As a psychologist I am really intrigued by the ways that sighted
> people think about how they would behave if they became blind. It
> has
> been well-documented that people neglect how much they can, and
> would,
> adapt to new situations over time. The fact is that if any of
> these
> doubting sighted folks became blind, they would have to adapt in
> order
> to keep living their lives. Some of them might lapse into
> depression,
> or be rich enough to hire full-time help with everything, but
> most of
> these people would be resilient enough (and practical enough) to
> learn
> the exact same skills we take for granted. However, sighted
> people
> looking into the future don't realize that this would happen. In
> one
> of my blindness simulation experiments I actually asked sighted
> people
> how well they thought they could perform various activities if
> they
> became blind, and most said they thought they would be extremely
> incapable. Notably, this was worse for those who had just been
> blindfolded and asked to walk around with a cane without any
> training.
> The participants' ratings of how capable they would be as blind
> people
> were closely related to their ratings of how capable actual blind
> people would be at the exact same tasks, suggesting that sighted
> people think about how they would do it and then use that
> prediction
> to make a judgment about how others would do the same thing
> blind.
> I think when we work on educating people, we want to get across
> to
> them that blindness techniques are things that pretty much anyone
> can
> learn. Those of us who have learned blindness techniques aren't
> special and we don't have superpowers. We just learned these
> skills
> because we were motivated to do normal things and we had no other
> choice but to use the alternative skills. It's simply not
> practical
> for most of us to have sighted help doing everything, and when we
> do
> take sighted assistance there is often a cost of some sort
> (monetary
> cost, being a burden on others or giving up some of our freedom).
> So
> to minimize these costs we figure out nonvisual ways to get
> things
> done. That's it.
>
> Arielle
>
> On 5/27/13, Misty Dawn Bradley <mistydbradley at gmail.com> wrote:
> Arielle,
> I get those same comments about being "amazing" or "inspiring"
> also. I
> usually just respond by saying that I am a normal person who is
> just doing
> what they need to do in life. I try to explain also how I do it
> if there
> is
> time, but usually I do not know what to say either, so I just
> tell them
> that
> I just do what I need to do like other people do. A lot of
> sighted people
> tell me that they could never travel independently or do
> anything on their
> own if they were blind and that they would have someone doing
> everything
> for
> them all of the time. I just tell them that there are things in
> life that
> need to get done, such as grocery shopping, working, and many
> other daily
> things, and it is much easier and makes me feel more free and
> independent
> to
> do these things when I want to do them instead of always relying
> on
> everyone
> to take me or do it for me on their own time. I have a lot more
> freedom
> and
> flexibility that way. Sometimes, when I put it that way, they
> can
> understand
> somewhat what I mean, and they will tell me so.
> Misty
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Arielle Silverman" <arielle71 at gmail.com
> To: <jsoro620 at gmail.com>; "National Association of Blind
> Students mailing
> list" <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> Sent: Monday, May 27, 2013 8:42 PM
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] offensive questions
>
>
> Agreed. Unfortunately there are times when people ask questions
> out of
> doubt or sarcasm rather than out of true curiosity. They already
> believe we can't do something and answering their question about
> how
> we do it doesn't persuade them to give us a job, or a second
> date, or
> whatever. Sometimes it's hard to tell if a question is asked out
> of
> curiosity or if the questioner has already made up his/her mind.
> However, I do think we should give folks the benefit of the
> doubt and
> at least attempt to educate them the best we can. We don't want
> well-intentioned folks to feel they have to bottle their
> questions
> inside and never learn what they want to learn about blindness.
> I also
> agree that if a question crosses personal boundaries, such as a
> question about how we handle toilet matters, then it should be
> addressed more assertively. I have luckily not been asked any
> questions that I found to be rude or invasive, but I know others
> have
> at times.
> I don't mind answering (appropriate) questions at all, but I am
> always
> stumped when some stranger tells me I am
> amazing/brave/inspiring/courageous. I can never figure out how
> to
> respond in such a way that acknowledges their goodwill but also
> attempts to educate them about the fact I am not very amazing or
> brave
> just because I can walk somewhere by myself. I could just say
> "thank
> you" and move on, but I don't like doing that because I feel
> like by
> thanking them I am validating what they think about blind people
> being
> amazing for doing the simplest things. Sometimes I find myself
> just
> ignoring the comment because I don't know what to say. Other
> times I
> will attempt to briefly explain the relevant techniques that I
> use, if
> time allows and if they seem interested. How do you handle this?
>
> Arielle
>
> On 5/27/13, Joe <jsoro620 at gmail.com> wrote:
> Damn, this stupid JAWS thing isn't letting me respond to sender.
> LOL
> Just
>
> to
> chime in that I thought this was an excellent and well-written
> post. I'm
> sure you're a superb journalist.--Joe
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of The
> weird
> writer
> Sent: Saturday, May 25, 2013 1:40 AM
> To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [nabs-l] offensive questions
>
> The restaurant bustles with activity as my date and I sit
> opposite each
> other, talking about ourselves and what we do. To my immediate
> right, a
> woman is talking to her mom on her cell phone about the baseball
> game
> she
> missed. Different smells bounce off my nose as men and women
> pass us
> making
> their way to their tables. Dishes clatter in the kitchen behind
> me, and
> my
> date’s cologne, masked over with deodorant, sprays my sense of
> smell as
> I
> gaze towards his ebony accented voice. We’re chatting
> jovially, our
> laughter
> dicing holes in conversations around us, making people stop,
> and, I'm
> sure,
> stare at this interracial gay couple.
>
> When the dishes come, we get into the topic of careers. He's a
> teacher.
> With a mouth full, and hesitation dotting his syllables like
> rain, he
> asks
> me a very important question.
>
> “If you’re blind, how can you be a journalist?”
>
> Instantly the talons rise, and my fingers toy with the idea of
> creeping
> towards his throat. A dozen retorts bang into my head as if it
> were a
> chamber full of bullets, ready to blast this rude insensitive
> sighted
> person
> away. After a split second however, I suddenly realize that he's
> never
> seen
> adaptive technology, and he's never seen a Braille display, and
> he's
> certainly never seen a victor reader stream or a computer with a
> screen
> reader before. He's not in my world and he never was. Taking a
> deep
> breath,
> I explain how I'm a journalist when I'm blind, all with a huge
> smile on
> my
> face. The reason I choose to answer all his questions, and many
> others,
> instead of following my gut instinct to be sarcastic is, he may
> not be
> in
>
> my
> world, but I know he can be if I just teach him.
>
> Whenever I hang around blind people and we make jokes about
> speech
> synthesizers that sighted people wouldn't understand a sentence
> is
> uttered
> without fail. Sooner or later, we get to talking about sighted
> people
> and
> their lack of blindness knowledge. The words fly at me like
> sharp
> bullets
> that are not meant for me. They’re angry at the sighted people
> who ask
> us
> how we type on a computer. It's an angry question that's become
> a common
> one
> in the blindness community.
>
> “They should know better. Why are they so stupid?”
>
> When that's uttered, I immediately see things through the
> sighted point
> of
> view. The truth is, they won’t be an expert about blindness
> ways or
> technology. They shouldn’t know better because no one knows
> everything,
> especially about a different way of living. They shouldn’t
> know better.
> Instead, we have to get angry less, and educate more.
>
> Education is the key of knowledge that will turn itself,
> unlocking the
> right
> doors if the right direction is given. Among the disabled
> community who
> tend
> to get angry when they're asked to educate, this applies to
> people with
> HIV
> and aids as well.
>
> I've seen countless instances where someone with HIV or AIDS
> gets
> offended
> when a potential partner asks him if he will contract if they
> exchange
> saliva. The contracted person became offended, and stormed off,
> hurt.
> Upon
> further investigation, I learned that his date didn't even know
> what HIV
> did. He didn't even know that it didn't have a cure.
>
> A lot of people say ignorance is bliss, but it's also a divider.
> Even
> today,
> the biggest hurtle that we all have to overcome is inclusion and
> acceptance,
> even among the gay community, disabled community, and HIV
> community. In
> today's day and age, just simple curiosity could ruin a good
> friendship
> or
> relationship because of “offensive questions.” That divide
> grows because
> we
> are easily offended at the questions we asked ourselves at one
> point.
>
> When I was learning the bus route for my daily commutes, I
> wondered if
> it
> would even work, me having to travel on the bus for field
> reporting.
> I've asked the same question as my restaurant date. “How am I
> going to
> be
>
> a
> journalist?” with patience, and persistence, I figured out the
> answers
> with
> trial and error and learning from my own past mistakes. If I
> would have
> let
> my own question offend me then I wouldn't have figured out the
> answer.
>
> I don't have HIV but I had to ask the above question in order to
> find
> out
> that you can't get HIV from a small exchange of saliva. I know
> now how
> to
> better do my job as a blind journalist because I had to find an
> answer.
> I
> couldn't let those two questions go unanswered. If I did, then
> how
> blissful
> would I be, ignorant about knowledge that would help someone
> else as
> well
>
> as
> me in the future.
>
> I don't think anyone should remain in the dark if I have an
> answer to a
> question. Answers, with all their simplicity sprinkle awareness
> along
> with
> their validity. Not far behind awareness comes understanding,
> and soon,
> acceptance. An answer to a seemingly offensive question doesn't
> just
> satisfy
> curiosity but it opens up a door to understand. There are a lot
> of other
> positive things behind that door even if they’re not visible
> immediately.
> Some effects are immediate, such as inclusion, and others are
> far off,
> such
> as advocacy born from awareness.
>
> When I look around and see a world that's divided as it is, I
> don’t want
> to
> divide it even more just because someone asks me how I use a
> computer.
> If
> education breeds positive results then people who live in
> different
> conditions should educate others how they do it. it's the only
> way to
> end
> these “offensive questions.”
>
> The goal of inclusion is to do just that, include. My sighted
> date lives
> in
> an ethnic world I'll never completely understand because I've
> never
> lived
> through the discriminatory history but I can ask questions, and
> with
> each
> answer, I'm no longer on the outside anymore. We’re together.
> With every answer I give about my adaptive life, we’re coming
> together
> in
>
> a
> way that offended people won’t be able to do for a very long
> time.
> He understands me now and that's the most valuable education I
> could
> ever
> give.
>
> If people really want to have us unite to stand for a positive
> voice
> then
>
> we
> can't widen the distance because we’re offended at questions.
> Instead, we should open our world to people and share as much as
> we can,
> if
> asked. If we keep doing that I know that the door will open wide
> enough
> to
> let all of us through to a better world, a world where we all
> know each
> other, stand for one another, and unite for equality and embrace
> the
> best
> teacher of all, differences. That would make a beautifully
> educated
> world,
> one where I’d be happy to say that this positive change was
> the result
> of
> answering offensive questions.
>
> /*See below for resume, writing links, social media links, and
> other
> writing
> archives */
>
> *Click here to view my resume*
>
> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmy.indeed.com%2Fm
> e%2Fkingettresume%3Fsubfrom%3Dt
>
> *
>
> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Fdocs.google.com%2
> Fdocument%2Fpub%3Fid%3D1rASWYM_d-JajxmIKycBzVNgdwhJgUePAw1_IBFchg
> lY>*
>
> *Click here to see my writing archive
>
> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Fdocs.google.com%2
> Fdocument%2Fpub%3Fid%3D1rASWYM_d-JajxmIKycBzVNgdwhJgUePAw1_IBFchg
> lY>*
>
> *Click here to view my website/
> /
> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Frobertkingett.com%
> 2F>*
>
> */
> /*
>
> */writer for Chicago Theater Beat/ *
> *Tel: 850 764 2161 *
>
> Facebook
>
> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%
> 2Frobertkingett
> Twitter
>
> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2Fthe
> blindwriter
> LinkedIn
>
> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.linkedin.com%2
> Fin%2Fkingettr
> YouTube
>
> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2F
> user%2Fkingettspeaks
> WordPress
>
> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fblindchicagodream.
> wordpress.com%2F
> Blog RSS
>
> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fdescribereview.wor
> dpress.com%2Ffeed%2F
> My latest comedy review: ‘She Kills Monsters’: A Fun Game of
> Chance
>
> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Famericascomedy.com
> %2Fshe-kills-monsters-a-fun-game-of-chanceshe-kills-monsters-thea
> ter-steppenwolf-theater-company-play-comedy-chicago%2F
> My latest Audio Description review: Audio Description review:
> How Long
> Will
> I Cry? (play)
>
> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Fdescribereview.wo
> rdpress.com%2F2013%2F03%2F13%2Faudio-description-review-how-long-
> will-i-cry-play%2F
> WordPress
>
> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fblindchicagodream.
> wordpress.com%2F
> My latest post in my blog:Just in case you missed it & other
> news
>
> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fblindchicagodream.
> wordpress.com%2F2013%2F05%2F25%2Fjust-in-case-you-missed-it-other
> -news%2F
>
> Read more
>
> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fblindchicagodream.
> wordpress.com%2F2013%2F05%2F25%2Fjust-in-case-you-missed-it-other
> -news%2F>|
> My blog
>
> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fblindchicagodream.
> wordpress.com%2F
> Share on Facebook
>
> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2
> Fsharer.php%3Fu%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fblindchicagodream.wordpress.
> com%252F2013%252F05%252F25%252Fjust-in-case-you-missed-it-other-n
> ews%252F
> Share on Twitter
>
> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=https%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2Fint
> ent%2Ftweet%3Ftext%3DJust%2520in%2520case%2520you%2520missed%2520
> it%2520%2526%2520other%2520news%2520%2520%28via%2520%2540wisestam
> p%29
>
>
> Get this email app!
>
> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wisestamp.com%
> 2Fapps%2Fwordpress%3Futm_source%3Dextension%26utm_medium%3Demail%
> 26utm_term%3Dwordpress%26utm_campaign%3Dapps
>
>
> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.linkedin.com%2
> Fin%2Fkingettr
> Designed with WiseStamp -
>
> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fr1.wisestamp.com%2
> Fr%2Flanding%3Fu%3D5ddbf9ed0c4ca423%26v%3D3.13.2%26t%3D1369460407
> 891%26promo%3D10%26dest%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.wisestamp.com%25
> 2Femail-install%253Futm_source%253Dextension%2526utm_medium%253De
> mail%2526utm_campaign%253Dpromo_10>Get
> yours
>
> <http://s.wisestamp.com/links?url=http%3A%2F%2Fr1.wisestamp.com%2
> Fr%2Flanding%3Fu%3D5ddbf9ed0c4ca423%26v%3D3.13.2%26t%3D1369460407
> 891%26promo%3D10%26dest%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.wisestamp.com%25
> 2Femail-install%253Futm_source%253Dextension%2526utm_medium%253De
> mail%2526utm_campaign%253Dpromo_10
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> nabs-l mailing list
> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account
> info for
> nabs-l:
>
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/jsoro620%40gm
> ail.com
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> nabs-l mailing list
> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account
> info for
> nabs-l:
>
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/arielle71%40g
> mail.com
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> nabs-l mailing list
> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account
> info for
> nabs-l:
>
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/mistydbradley
> %40gmail.com
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> nabs-l mailing list
> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account
> info for
> nabs-l:
>
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/arielle71%40g
> mail.com
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> nabs-l mailing list
> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info
> for
> nabs-l:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/lissa1531%40g
> mail.com
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> nabs-l mailing list
> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info
> for nabs-l:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/sweetpeareade
> r%40gmail.com
>
>
>
More information about the NABS-L
mailing list