[nabs-l] Those Amazing Inspiring Blind People

Thu May 30 21:19:51 UTC 2013

Hi all,

I don't think that all of us always have to work twice as hard to get
things done. I do think that sometimes, some of us have to work harder
because of blindness, but it doesn't apply equally to all of us all
the time. For example, when I was an undergrad student, I did have to
do some extra work to hunt down accessible textbooks and gain access
to visual online materials, like gene maps for my genetics class. Now
that I am in grad school, however, textbooks are rarely used and
electronic copies of articles are readily furnished to all students.
So, in grad school, blindness has little impact on my overall
workload. Other times, extra work has allowed me to get ahead. In
middle school we were often given vocab assignments which involved
writing down definitions from the book's glossary. Since the glossary
was several volumes in Braille, this was very inefficient for me.
However, I soon discovered it was actually much quicker to just (gasp)
read the chapter and learn the vocab words that way instead of looking
up definitions. This was a little extra work on the front end, but it
had the advantage that when the other students were assigned to read
the chapter, I'd already finished that and could move on.
I do think some of us face substantial obstacles related to blindness.
On closer examination these obstacles usually have more to do with
social prejudices than with blindness itself. For example, blind kids
who aren't taught Braille until later in life do face challenges with
reading, writing, test-taking etc. That's not because of blindness,
but because of unfavorable social attitudes toward Braille. For others
blindness could interact with something else--financial problems, or a
bad home life--to create legitimate obstacles. What I don't like is
when people assume I have these challenges without knowing anything
about me except that I am blind. The challenges of blindness, or lack
thereof, are different for every person and the same person could
experience different levels of challenge at different points in time.
Too often these nuances aren't recognized by the sighted public.
Instead, anything a blind person achieves must have been very
difficult and only achieved because the blind person is exceptional.
I can also relate to Mary's comments about becoming an overachiever
due to blindness. In my own case it was because as the youngest child,
blind and also physically tiny, I think I was babied a lot by family
members and others in my life. I was driven to excel in school in
order to compensate for the inferior and infantilizing way I was often
treated. I don't think this reaction is a bad one as long as the
person doesn't become so perfectionistic that failure becomes
intolerable.

Arielle

On 5/30/13, Mary Fernandez <trillian551 at gmail.com> wrote:
> Dear all,
> I've been following this thread on and off, and didn't want to weigh
> in, but I will...
> I think that we can go too far in either direction. We can be the
> person who does think they are amazing because they are blind and can
> walk. Or you can be the person who will always shrug off a compliment,
> because they think that the only reason they are getting it is because
> they are blind, and they believe that they are the definition of
> average.
> My approach is being balanced. Perhaps this is because I know I have
> overcome quite a number of challenges in life, very few of which had
> anything to do with my blindness. Perhaps because I had a mother who
> never ever allowed my blindness to be neither a hindrance nor an
> advantage. She was very clear that yes I was blind, so what? And so
> that became ingrained in my psyche, to the point where my disability
> was never really a source of psychological distress. Yes, I did have
> the question of how I would be successful, and if I was the only blind
> person who had dreams and aspirations. And how I might make those
> dreams and aspirations come true when so many people clearly thought I
> shouldn’t even be able to tie my shoelaces. And yes, it wasn’t until I
> met blind role models, that I knew that not only could I make my
> dreams come true, but that others had overcome the challenges that
> misconceptions present. In my case, I set out to prove the world
> wrong, and became an overachiever. People who are overachievers
> usually have an underlying reason for always wanting to come out on
> top, for me it was that I was blind. For other teens it might be
> insecurities about their looks, their popularity etc.
> As an adult I am fully aware that in order to be successful and to be
> taken seriously as a blind person, one must work very hard and always
> prove themselves. This is because of the misconceptions of the world.
> It is unrealistic to pretend that just any average blind person can
> become a manager in the work place. Discrimination does exist, whether
> it is based on gender, race, sexual orientation or disability. And the
> sad truth is that when a person sees me walking with my white cane,
> many of them cannot begin to imagine how I could possibly be ok, and
> that it is their responsibility for them to help me, after all I am
> disadvantaged, they are not.
> Thus, I know it is my responsibility to educate each of those people
> wrong. It is my responsibility to prove the nay sayers, who go beyond,
> oh she’s disadvantaged, to she can’t do it because she’s blind,
> therefore she must be lacking in some essential way. But it is also my
> responsibility to myself to recognize my accomplishment and savor my
> achievements. It is my responsibility to myself to build healthy,
> mutually respectful relationships, in which I am secure in the
> knowledge that that person and I understand each other, and that we
> see each other for the person for who we are as opposed to some random
> trait we possess. And when that person says, you have done a great
> job, that you gone above and beyond what I expected, I can recognize
> that it isn’t because they are being condescending but rather because
> they have held me to the standard to which they hold everyone else. It
> is important to find these types of relationships both professionally
> and personally. We want someone to tell us when we are lacking, but
> also to tell us when we rocked something. I am fortunate to work in a
> place where I know all of my coworkers and superiors are holding me to
> the standard to which they hold every other employee. And while it is
> my instinct to dismiss a compliment from anyone, I’m learning to take
> them and say thank you. It’s important to learn these ladies and
> gentlemen, because if we do not give ourselves credit for the things
> we do, and the accomplishments we achieve, there is no point to them.
> I think the key is in having a high standard for yourself, not
> compromising that standard, and knowing when you just have to ignore
> the people I the street who say silly things like, wow you match. But
> also when to pay attention to people who see beyond your disability
> and are speaking of your character.
>
>
> On 5/30/13, Helga <helga.schreiber at hotmail.com> wrote:
>> Hey Miso, this is Helga! I just wantded to tell you that I'm a Christian
>> as
>>
>> well!, and I think  that you are definitely right! when you say that God
>> has
>>
>> a purpose. I actually believe that God has a purpose for everyone even if
>> they are blind or not. I'm actually blind, and I'm studying in college in
>> order to become a Lawyer. By The way, just to let you know, I just became
>> blind 5 years ago, but I didn't let this circumstance stop me in order to
>> accomplish my goals. Thanks! for listening to me, and God bless! hope to
>> talk to you soon! :)
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Miso Kwak
>> Sent: Thursday, May 30, 2013 11:21 AM
>> To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Those Amazing Inspiring Blind People
>>
>> I attended school for the blind in Korea for 10 years and teachers
>> often said we have to work twice or even triple times hard. I denied
>> that saying but now while I don't necessarily agree, I would say it
>> takes more time and energy in some things we we were to accomplish.
>> Looking at my friends who have gone to colleges in Korea they might
>> agree with this saying because they always have to fight for books and
>> just less informed public in general.
>> I believe work ethic comes because of the environment not just being
>> blind it self.
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: justin <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
>> To: 'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'
>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Thu, May 30, 2013 8:11 am
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Those Amazing Inspiring Blind People
>>
>> I don't know about twice as hard, but unfortunately, even fi you don't
>> say
>> it aloud, hopefully our children who are blidn will have that kind of
>> work
>> ethic instilled into them.  I don't much care for it either, but it is
>> what
>> it is.
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Julie
>> McGinnity
>> Sent: Thursday, May 30, 2013 11:04 AM
>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Those Amazing Inspiring Blind People
>>
>> Hi all,
>>
>> I received an email a few days before the ceremony saying that the
>> president
>> wanted to identify some of the honors students in her speech.  I
>> sincerely
>> thought that was the end of it, and I said yes because I knew my parents
>> would be happy.
>>
>> I agree with you Arielle.  Resilience isn't a personality trait we
>> possess.
>> We choose to be resilient--and this applies to sighted people as well.
>> The
>> difference in our case is that it seems more obvious.  I think we
>> display
>> this form of resilience when we choose to answer random questions from
>> strangers when we would rather be minding our own business.  It is
>> educating.  I don't think that this makes us special or amazing though.
>> Most of us are used to educating people and dealing with their
>> ignorance.
>> It's just something we do.
>>
>> I am torn about the idea that blind people have to work twice as hard.
>>   I'm not denying that it is true, but do we really want our blind
>> children
>> thinking that they need to work twice as hard to get anything
>> accomplished?
>> Maybe the answer is yes.  But I'm not convinced.
>>
>> On 5/28/13, justin <justin.williams2 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> I am a blind martial artist, and I have never called myself amazing
>> despite
>>> learning to strike without sight. There is a trick to that.
>> However,
>>> because the athlete is a champion, to many others achieving that goal
>>> as a blind person makes him seem more impressive. I would simply put
>>> it down to an ability to adapt in order to succeed. While the skill
>>> set is impressive, a champion is a champion disabled or not.  I can't
>> see,
>> so I have to do
>>> something a little different.   However, a champion athlete can use
>> the
>>> fact
>>> that he is blind to inspire others.  I don't care for it much either,
>>> but once again, if you can serve the greater good by weaving them
>>> together, wouldn't you?  Try to fight off as many of the amazing
>>> comments as possible; I hate those, even when I may have done
>>> something that could be considered amazing, probably because I have
>>> gotten it too often and it's gotten annoying.  For example, I was
>>> somewhat annoyed in high school when I was presented with the heart
>>> award by my wrestling coach as a freshman.  He meant well, and I was
>>> not angry at him, but I couldn't help but think that he gave that to
>>> me because I was a blind wrestler; I would not have done an interview
>>> for that.  I also refused the interview proposed to me in high school
>>> which basically said, look at me; I am a good wrestler despite my
>>> blindness.  I would have gladly done an interview years later in
>>> college when I broke our state powerlifting record.  I would have
>> been
>>> the state champion power lifter who happened to be blind.  I would
>>> have tried to leave the blind part out, but I'm sure that it would
>>> have been included.  I would only use blindness to show the skills of
>>> adaptation which may be a moment of inspiration, a shot in the arm,
>> or
>>> a spark for someone who needs it.
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Arielle
>>> Silverman
>>> Sent: Wednesday, May 29, 2013 10:32 PM
>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Those Amazing Inspiring Blind People
>>>
>>> I don't think blind athletes are more impressive than sighted
>> athletes.
>>> Blind athletes use alternative techniques just like we use Braille
>> and
>>> canes to do other things. However, being a high-level champion at a
>>> sport is impressive whether the person is blind or sighted.
>>>
>>> Arielle
>>>
>>> On 5/28/13, justin <justin.williams2 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> Not at all; if you have a way of displaying to the world your
>>>> intelligence and skill as a human, then that's great.
>>>> I can't speak for the others on this list, but I'm not trying to say
>>>> that having to use alternative techniques to compensate for
>> blindness
>>>> is something to completely disregard.  Having to fight issues of
>>>> accessibility while doing the everyday things of life does mean that
>>>> to function on the same level of the sighted, we have to be a little
>>> better than average.
>>>> Without sight you have to be a little sharper.  However, treating us
>>>> like we are oober special and the whole nine yards because we walked
>>>> across a room or are able to read and write; that's ridiculous and
>>>> degrading.  Do your thing; if you can help someone, then I got your
>>>> back man.  In certain contexts, using your blindness along with your
>>>> accomplishments can be a model of inspiration for people.  Just as
>>>> long as you control the situation with your own personal power and
>>>> not let someone dictate where how your blindness angle is emphasized.
>>>> Tell them to just give you the ball and get out of your way.
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Miso
>>>> Kwak
>>>> Sent: Wednesday, May 29, 2013 9:36 PM
>>>> To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Those Amazing Inspiring Blind People
>>>>
>>>> this is definitely another interesting thread for I have pondered
>>>> about this for so many times...
>>>> Reading Julie's mail definitely made me think about my graduation.
>>>> Each year principal chooses a student to lead the class on to the
>>>> field carrying class flag.
>>>> This year, she chose me and another student. When she announced us
>>>> she said "these students are students who have overcome obstacles
>> and
>>>> can represent the class well."
>>>> It was surprising rather than offensive...
>>>> I definitely have overcome obstacles as a foreign student and blind
>>>> student but I am not sure if I represent the class.
>>>> My partner had obstacles in a sense that he had family issues and
>>>> just personal struggles throughout high school until this year when
>>>> he made a positive turn-around.
>>>> It is definitely an honor. I just don't know whether I deserve it.
>>>> Also, I recently did an interview for an educational video.
>>>> It took more than a month for me to decide whether to do this or not
>>>> but I chose to do it because it could be a positive influence for
>>>> teens who may be struggling with life.
>>>> You may criticize me for my belief but I am grateful to know my life
>>>> could give a positive outlook for others.
>>>> I just hope it's done by my drive and passion and integrity not my
>>>> blindness.
>>>> Like mentioned previously it's wrong for someone to praise blind
>>>> people for being able to do simple tasks such as reading and writing.
>>>> (I usually say it's just my way of reading and writing as you write
>>>> in
>>>> pen) But there could be some things that are truly "amazing" and
>>>> "inspirational"
>>>> If any of you remember, I recently shared an article about blind
>>>> pole-vaulters in the list.
>>>> Aren't they amazing? for being truly great athletes and overcoming
>>>> others'
>>>> doubts?
>>>> Thanks for reading my long email. I just don't like separating
>> emails
>>>> by topics.
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com>
>>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Sent: Wed, May 29, 2013 4:15 pm
>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Those Amazing Inspiring Blind People
>>>>
>>>> Hi all,
>>>> Julie, your experience at graduation sounds mortifying. He should
>>>> have at least asked your permission before he talked about you at
>> the
>>>> ceremony. I have been called inspirational by a homeless man, and
>>>> also by a man who was receiving kidney dialysis. If I had to choose
>>>> between blindness, kidney failure and homelessness I would choose
>>>> blindness any day, but I know that it's not up to me to characterize
>>>> those men's lives any more than they can characterize mine.
>>>>
>>>> I agree that we have to act resilient in order to deal with the
>>>> environmental barriers we face (negative attitudes, inaccessibility
>>>> etc.) However, I think of resilience as an action more than a
>>>> personality trait. I don't think we have more ability to be
>> resilient
>>>> than anyone else does. Human beings are hard-wired to adapt to
>>>> whatever situations they are in. As blind people we are simply doing
>>>> what we need to do in order to survive and fulfill our goals and
>> desires.
>>>> When I look at my own college experiences, there might have been
>>>> challenges I wouldn't have had if sighted. However, these were
>>>> eclipsed by all the help and support I received from my parents (who
>>>> both have advanced degrees), from the scholarship I was awarded and
>>>> the mentors I was assigned as part of that scholarship program, and
>>>> from my professors and friends. I honestly do not feel that earning
>>>> my double major was difficult. And so I find it insulting when
>> people
>>>> who don't know me at all assume it was more difficult for me than
>> for
>>>> somebody who is a first-generation college student, or who had to
>>>> work full-time while going to school, for example.
>>>>
>>>> Arielle
>>>>
>>>> On 5/29/13, Danielle Sykora <dsykora29 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>> Hi all,
>>>>>
>>>>> This is definitely an interesting discussion. Like the rest of you,
>>>>> I am often told I am amazing for accomplishing simple tasks. Most
>>>>> people do not understand that I don't perceive their comments as
>>>>> complimentary; they are only responding to their low expectations
>> of
>>>>> my abilities. Unfortunately, education is not always possible or
>>>>> successful. Consequently, I find it difficult at times to determine
>>>>> whether a compliment is truely desserved.
>>>>>
>>>>> I don't believe that we are particularly amazing or resilient.
>>>>> Certainly, we encounter many challenges; from low expectations on a
>>>>> daily basis, facing the difficulties of obtain textbooks, etc.
>>>>> However, we are merely accomplishing what we need to succeed.
>>>>>
>>>>> Just some thoughts,
>>>>> Danielle
>>>>>
>>>>> On 5/29/13, Katie Wang <bunnykatie6 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>> Hi all,
>>>>>>
>>>>>> This is a very interesting thread! I'm very much in agreement with
>>>>>> what Julie has said here. While I certainly believe that blind
>>>>>> people should not be regarded as amazing or inspirational for
>>>>>> accomplishing ordinary things (e.g., going to college, getting a
>>>>>> job, living independently), I do think that we need a
>>>>>> greater-than-average level of resilience to successfully handle
>>>>>> many of the challenges we face
>>>> as
>>>>>> blind people. Granted, many of these challenges are not directly
>>>>>> caused by our blindness per se but result from low expectations
>> and
>>>>>> negative attitudes from the general public, but they are
>>>>>> nonetheless challenges that call for resourcefulness, creativity,
>>>>>> and self-advocacy. After all, it is fair to say that sighted
>> people
>>>>>> generally don't have to worry about finding a way to access their
>>>>>> college textbooks or taking the initiative to learn alternative
>>>>>> techniques for completing everyday tasks. While I'm a firm believer
>>>> of
>>>>>> the NFB philosophy that, with training and opportunity, blindness
>>>>>> can be reduced to an inconvenience, I also think that, given the
>>>>>> reality of our society, many blind  people are not given the
>>>>>> appropriate training and opportunities by default and do in fact
>>>>>> need to overcome more obstacles in order to accomplish things in
>>>>>> life that might otherwise be deemed ordinary. In that sense, the
>>>>>> label
>>> of "amazing"
>>>>>> may not be completely off the mark. Admittedly this rationale
>>>> probably
>>>>>> works better with major milestones in life such as graduating from
>>>>>> college with honors than with everyday tasks such as walking
>> around
>>>>>> independently, but I just want to put the thought out there.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> With regard to handling patronizing treatment from the general
>>>> public,
>>>>>> I have certainly encountered my fair share of frustrations. While I
>>>> do
>>>>>> make a point to educate those with whom I interact on a regular
>>>>>> basis so that they have an accurate understanding of me as a
>>>>>> competent, capable blind person, I admit that I often do not do so
>>>>>> with strangers. I have thanked random people for complimenting me
>>>>>> on being amazing many times, not because I agree with them but
>>>>>> because I do
>>>> not
>>>>>> have the time/energy to educate and do not want to appear rude. I
>>>>>> think it is important to remember that, as unfortunate as it is,
>>>>>> many sighted people do not recognize certain actions, such as
>>>>>> excessive helpfulness and compliments, as patronizing, even though
>>>>>> they do come across as very much so to us. For this reason, I'm of
>>>>>> the personal opinion that we should educate as much as we are
>>>>>> willing and able,
>>>> but
>>>>>> on those occasions where we do not feel up to the task (which I
>>>>>> know we all feel from time to time), erring on the side of polite
>>>>>> (albeit
>>>>>> passive) responding may be more constructive than coming across as
>>>>>> aggressive and confrontational.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Katie
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On 5/29/13, Julie McGinnity <kaybaycar at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>> Hi all,
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I recently graduated from college.  The public relations people
>>>>>>> here wanted to write an article about me because I was graduating
>>>>>>> with honors and with a double major.  I thought, rather naively,
>>>>>>> that
>>>> this
>>>>>>> was the reason.  But no...  As you can imagine, the article was
>>>> about
>>>>>>> how amazing I was succeeding in college with honors as a blind
>>>> person.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> If that wasn't bad enough, at my graduation ceremony the president
>>>> was
>>>>>>> giving a speech about resilience.  In her speech, she mentioned
>>>> people
>>>>>>> who had been resilient due to circumstances in their lives that
>>>>>>> were difficult that they had to overcome.  I was the first person
>>>>>>> mentioned.  Then she mentioned a guy who did his entire degree
>>>> online
>>>>>>> while he was doing tures in Iraq, and finally, she described a
>>>>>>> girl who came from a poor village in Africa to receive her
>>>>>>> education.  I felt aweful.  Yes, I received honors and did the
>>>>>>> rare double major with a music major, but do I deserve to be
>>>>>>> compared to those people who faced such real hardships?  I don't
>>>>>>> think so.  Like Arielle,
>>>> I've
>>>>>>> lived a priviledged life.  All of my needs and some of my wants
>>>>>>> were given to me.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Then I started to think about it some more.  I thought about
>>>> resilence
>>>>>>> as a blind person.  I don't think resilience is exactly what most
>>>>>>> sighted people would expect.  For them, it's simple; we have to
>>>>>>> overcome our blindness.  Not being able to see must be terrible,
>>>>>>> and the fact that we have overcome something that they think
>>>>>>> insurmountable makes us amazing.  But it's so much more than that.
>>>> I
>>>>>>> think we do, as blind people, have to be resilient.  We face
>>>>>>> discrimination, deal with people who think we need help, receive
>>>>>>> questions that insult us, and, let's face it, people stare at us
>> a
>>>>>>> lot.  Some of these things are less bothersome than others, but it
>>>> all
>>>>>>> amounts to the same thing.  Dealing with these things makes us
>>>>>>> resilient in a way.  I do not think this means that we are
>>>>>>> amazing, but I do think that it gives us a different outlook on
>> life.
>>>>>>> Facing the misconceptions of others causes to be resilient.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Just some random thoughts I had...  What an interesting
>> discussion!
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> On 5/27/13, justin <justin.williams2 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>>> I don't always know how to respond either; it does looks amazing
>>>> when
>>>>>>>> someone is operating in an alternative way. Even I will admit
>>>>>>>> that anytime someone uses a different set of abilities, or a
>>>>>>>> skill set which is unfamiliar to me, I consider them a little
>>>>>>>> beyond ordinary in that particular context, but rarely do I
>> think
>>>>>>>> they are
>>> amazing.
>>>>>>>> While educating people and opening their minds is nice; that is
>>>>>>>> something that
>>>> everyone
>>>>>>>> in
>>>>>>>> their own way ought to do, it is degrading for a sighted person
>>>>>>>> to assume that all the skills in life I have acquired are
>>>>>>>> "amazing for a
>>>> blind
>>>>>>>> man."
>>>>>>>> At thirty-four, I have been subjected to a variety of "inspiring
>>>>>>>> moments so to speak.  Some of them I play along with, and some
>> of
>>>>>>>> them I
>>>> don't.
>>>>>>>> After
>>>>>>>> a while I have learn to sometimes indulge the person to see where
>>>> it
>>>>>>>> goes,
>>>>>>>> and sometimes I don't.  Sometimes I use them as entertainment.
>>>> Other
>>>>>>>> times
>>>>>>>> I cut it off immediately.   Usually, I thank them, or make a
>> joke.
>>>>  It
>>>>>>>> is
>>>>>>>> good to liven those times up with humor to bring things down to a
>>>> human
>>>>>>>> level.  And then there are those times when I say absolutely
>>>> nothing.
>>>>>>>> Corinthians 1-14 was it...-----Original Message-----
>>>>>>>> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
>>>> melissa
>>>>>>>> Green
>>>>>>>> Sent: Tuesday, May 28, 2013 7:04 PM
>>>>>>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Those Amazing Inspiring Blind People
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> I remember that when I was in grade school.  the teachers would
>>>> want to
>>>>>>>> parade me around in front of the state people coming to observe
>>>>>>>> the school.
>>>>>>>> After they left the teacher would harp on how I was just like
>>>> everyone
>>>>>>>> else.
>>>>>>>> I also remember having people applaud because I could walk into
>>>>>>>> the music room and sit in my chair.
>>>>>>>> I also remember being told that I had to be completely
>> independent.
>>>>>>>> No relying on others.
>>>>>>>> It took me a while to get out of that thought process.
>>>>>>>> When I did, my view of myself as a blind person changed as well.
>>>>>>>> .
>>>>>>>> I could go on and on about my childhood too.
>>>>>>>> But I won't.
>>>>>>>> I feel that recognition is nice, but I don't want a big fus made
>>>> over
>>>>>>>> me
>>>>>>>> because of my blindness.
>>>>>>>> When I was getting ready to go through the graduation ceremony
>>>>>>>> they wanted to give my guide dog a diploma and put her on mine,
>>>>>>>> as well as put
>>>> a
>>>>>>>> cap
>>>>>>>> and
>>>>>>>> gown on her.
>>>>>>>> I said absolutely not!
>>>>>>>> I would include her in my own way.
>>>>>>>> That is what I did.
>>>>>>>> I put my tassel on her collar and that is how I chose to do it.
>>>>>>>> It was my choice and noone else's.
>>>>>>>> Sincerely,
>>>>>>>> Melissa and Pj
>>>>>>>> "Forever is composed of nows." -Emily Dickinson facebook Melissa
>>>>>>>> R Green Linkedin www.linkedin.com/in/melissagreen5674
>>>>>>>> skype: lissa5674
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>>>>> From: "Arielle Silverman" <arielle71 at gmail.com>
>>>>>>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>>>>>>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
>>>>>>>> Sent: Tuesday, May 28, 2013 4:42 PM
>>>>>>>> Subject: [nabs-l] Those Amazing Inspiring Blind People
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Hi all,
>>>>>>>> I think some great points have been made here. When someone tells
>>>> me I
>>>>>>>> am amazing or inspiring or courageous or whatever, I don't like
>>>>>>>> it because it implies a lower standard. There's always part of
>>>>>>>> that compliment that goes unstated: "You're amazing......For a
>>>>>>>> blind person". It's really a backhanded insult to other blind
>>>>>>>> people,
>>>> even
>>>>>>>> though it may not be intended that way. Also, I don't like being
>>>> told
>>>>>>>> that I must have overcome great obstacles or that I must have
>>>>>>>> great perseverance and passion to get to where I am today,
>>>>>>>> because I
>>>> don't
>>>>>>>> think that's true. My blindness hasn't interfered much with my
>>>>>>>> educational achievements and compared with many others my life
>>>>>>>> has been over-privileged. When people make these assumptions I
>>>>>>>> feel
>>>> they
>>>>>>>> are judging me based on blindness without knowing much else about
>>>> me,
>>>>>>>> my upbringing or anything I've done.
>>>>>>>> I also think that the "amazing" comments are particularly tough
>>>>>>>> on blind youth who also happen to be high achievers. It's hard
>> to
>>>>>>>> know how to interpret these comments and when we are truly
>>>>>>>> amazing vs.
>>>> just
>>>>>>>> exceeding people's low standards. And sometimes, being an
>>>> inspiration
>>>>>>>> is just too much extra pressure when our lives are already filled
>>>> with
>>>>>>>> a lot of internal and external demands.
>>>>>>>> When I was growing up, I got used to these accolades because my
>>>>>>>> parents had many friends who would marvel at my accomplishments.
>>>> When
>>>>>>>> I was young I was often asked to show off my Braille reading for
>>>>>>>> company and this just completely blew people away. Then as I
>> grew
>>>>>>>> I was a high achiever in school and won some awards for spelling
>>>>>>>> bees and things like that. They deserved recognition, but
>>>>>>>> probably not
>>>> to
>>>>>>>> the level that I got. One night when I was ten, I wrote down
>> some
>>>>>>>> musings about how I felt about blindness and dealing with
>> sighted
>>>>>>>> kids. My mother ran across my writing on the family computer and
>>>>>>>> through a random string of events, what I wrote got published in
>>>> our
>>>>>>>> local paper. Then when I was eleven, a magazine editor read the
>>>>>>>> newspaper article and was so amazed and inspired that she asked
>>>>>>>> me
>>>> to
>>>>>>>> write a column for her magazine. This of course only compounded
>>>>>>>> people's awe and amazement in what I could do, since not only
>> was
>>>>>>>> I blind but I was also famous. It took several years, but I
>>>> eventually
>>>>>>>> realized that I wasn't an amazing writer. I was a decent writer,
>>>> but
>>>>>>>> not particularly outstanding at it, and not good at fiction or
>>>> poetry
>>>>>>>> at all. The only reason people were so impressed with my writing
>>>> was
>>>>>>>> because I wrote about blindness and that was a topic that
>>>>>>>> intrigued people. I had to get a lot of painful criticism on my
>>>>>>>> writing
>>>> before I
>>>>>>>> eventually realized I wasn't as outstanding as those folks made
>>>>>>>> me
>>>> out
>>>>>>>> to be. Around the time I came to that epiphany, I also began to
>>>> resent
>>>>>>>> all the accolades. I remember thinking, at the age of fifteen,
>>>>>>>> that "adults always treat me like I'm five and fifty at the same
>>>>>>>> time.
>>>> But
>>>>>>>> I just want to be a normal 15-year-old girl!" I felt like on one
>>>> hand,
>>>>>>>> I was being held to an impossibly high standard--expected to be
>>>>>>>> an amazing writer, an inspiration to all--and on the other hand,
>>>>>>>> held
>>>> to
>>>>>>>> an extremely low standard--expected not to be capable of basic
>>>>>>>> independence. People would praise my writing but then worry about
>>>> my
>>>>>>>> ability to walk across a room. I just wanted to blend into the
>>>> crowd
>>>>>>>> of teenagers and gossip about boys and clothes (well, mostly just
>>>>>>>> boys) instead.
>>>>>>>> Then, at the end of ninth grade, I "accidentally on purpose"
>>>> failed my
>>>>>>>> algebra final and earned my first B on my report card. There were
>>>> some
>>>>>>>> problems on the final that were hard and I didn't feel like
>>>> answering
>>>>>>>> on the last day of school, so I skipped them. I didn't intend to
>>>>>>>> fail--I think I just got a little overconfident about my ability
>>>>>>>> to earn straight A's. But I also wonder if on a less conscious
>>>>>>>> level,
>>>> I
>>>>>>>> bombed the test so I could prove to myself and others that I was
>>>>>>>> a human being and I was capable of screwing up--and not always
>> an
>>>>>>>> inspiration. Just a week before that final exam, I remember my
>>>> algebra
>>>>>>>> teacher admitting that he had doubted my ability to pass his
>>>>>>>> class
>>>> at
>>>>>>>> the beginning of the year, but that he was totally impressed with
>>>> my
>>>>>>>> performance. I remember being angry at him for assuming I
>>>>>>>> wouldn't succeed in his class just because I was blind. And so
>>>>>>>> perhaps, ironically, I failed his test to try to show him I
>>>>>>>> wasn't amazing,
>>>> I
>>>>>>>> wasn't a superhero, I was just a normal teenager doing the best
>> I
>>>>>>>> could to succeed in school.
>>>>>>>> OK, enough rambling about my childhood, but I do think that the
>>>>>>>> unnecessary recognition we get from the public can be just as
>>>> damaging
>>>>>>>> as true discrimination, especially when we are young and trying
>>>>>>>> to figure out where our true talents are. None of us should be
>>>>>>>> forced into the position of inspiring others. As first-class
>>>>>>>> citizens, we have the right to achieve at the level we wish to
>>>>>>>> achieve at, and
>>>> we
>>>>>>>> have a right to accurate feedback about how well we're doing at
>>>>>>>> something. Fortunately, as others have stated, there are sighted
>>>> folks
>>>>>>>> with high expectations who are willing to hold us up to rigorous
>>>>>>>> standards and to give us a true picture of our strengths and
>>>>>>>> weaknesses.
>>>>>>>> Best,
>>>>>>>> Arielle
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>> for
>>>>>>>> nabs-l:
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>>>>
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/lissa1531%40gmail.
>>>> com
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>>>> nabs-l:
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>>>> 4
>>>> 0gmail
>>>>>>>> .com
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/kaybaycar%40gmail.
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>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> --
>>>>>>> Julie McG
>>>>>>> National Association of Guide dog Users board member,  National
>>>>>>> Federation of the Blind performing arts division secretary,
>>>>>>> Missouri Association of Guide dog Users President, and Guiding
>>>>>>> Eyes for the Blind graduate 2008 "For God so loved the world that
>>>>>>> he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may
>> not
>>>>>>> perish but may have eternal life."
>>>>>>> John 3:16
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>>> nabs-l mailing list
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>>>> for
>>>>>>> nabs-l:
>>>>>>>
>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/bunnykatie6%40gma
>>>> i
>>>> l.com
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>> for
>>>>>> nabs-l:
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>>>>
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>>>> com
>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>> com
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>
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>>
>>
>> --
>> Julie McG
>> National Association of Guide dog Users board member,  National
>> Federation
>> of the Blind performing arts division secretary, Missouri Association of
>> Guide dog Users President, and Guiding Eyes for the Blind graduate 2008
>> "For
>> God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who
>> believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life."
>> John 3:16
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> nabs-l mailing list
>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
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>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
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>> .com
>>
>>
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>
>
> --
> Mary Fernandez
> "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will
> forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them
> feel."
> —
> Maya Angelou
>
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