[nabs-l] family's misunderstandings of the real world

[Daniel Romero]

Hi Beth,
1. Yeah though she might have a problem with your latest boyfriend
because he's blind, and you might have become obsessive, all our
families want is the best for us. Obsessive is okay, you're in the
honeymoon stage, it's normal. But the blind factor is something our
families are always going to feel a little nervous about as they
think/feel/want to be secure that we'll always have someone there
who's sighted ready to help us in whatever we may need help with.
That's not saying your family doubts your abilities, but they just
want the best for you at the end of the day.
2. Just because she's giving you this piece of advice, don't shut it
down because you currently have a blind boyfriend and you're sitting
on top of the world. She's just giving you some words of advice. No
one ever said you had to comply with them. And from experience, a
sighted guy will date/approach a blind woman faster than a sighted
woman would a blind man. (Lol but I guess that can be debated).
3. Stop trying to prove yourself to someone. We as blind people spend
so much time, trying to impress/change the minds of people who don't
live in our shoes everyday, that we get so flustered, (Which you
already have gotten). If she doesn't think you live the real world,
let her think that. If she doesn't want to be a part of the NFB
parents of blind children group, then she doesn't have too. Live your
life. If you're happy, you do the things you do for your reasons that
bennifit you, then do it. Stop trying to make the world happy around
you when at the end of the day, all that matters is your happiness and
what you're comfortable with.
Might have came off pushy in this e-mail, I just don't want you giving
power to those who don't/won't understand and won't take the time out
to view what life is like in your shoes.
Take care!

On 11/20/13, Beth Taurasi <denverqueen1107 at comcast.net> wrote:
> Hi, all.
> I was recently Facebook chatting my cousin and she accused me of doing
> the following things:
> 1. Obsession with my latest boyfriend, who she might have a problem with
> because he is blind.
> 2. She said I should be open to dating sighted people, yes, Arielle, you
> are married to a sighted man, but not all sighted people like a blind
> woman, and statistically it isn't true that sighted people will go out
> with blind women.
> 3. She says that blind people can do things, but she says I don't
> understand the real world.  What? I told her I do understand the real
> world, I pay my bills, I save money, I work with money. I don't pay
> taxes because in my understanding of the so-called "real world", SSI is
> not taxable, and finding a job for me is hard because I am dually disabled.
> I need help also convincing her that parenting is possible even with my
> particular disabilities.  I've tried referring her to NFB's parenting
> without Sight thingies, and she doesn't seem interested. I have a lot of
> friends on here so I'm posing this question.  Also, she says I should
> move back to Florida, but after all this stuff I've been through back
> there, I said to her, "No.  I've got all I need in Denver."
> Please help.
> Beth
>
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