[nabs-l] family's misunderstandings of the real world

Thu Nov 21 00:48:51 UTC 2013

In what way is your family saying you are obsessed with boys ? Have you not
been with your boyfriend for a long time.?Are they telling you to give it
time to see if you want kids with him? I understand wanting to be able to
have a healthy family. My girlfriend is 27 years old as well and I want
kids I love kids
Also your family can't take your freedom away. Sometime family can be a
pain I'm sorry

Lavar J Phillips
5003 48 Street Woodside New York 11377
Cell # (917) 858 3368
Twitter lavar1988
On Nov 20, 2013 7:27 PM, "Beth Taurasi" <denverqueen1107 at comcast.net> wrote:

> I faced problems in Florida, and no, I won't take my cousin's advice to
> any mind, Arielle.  She doesn't understand any of what I would have said in
> this message.  I'm glad you at least had some say in your life as to whom
> you should marry, but my cousins and family are saying I am obsessed with
> boys and don't give it time.  Well, I'm 27 and don't have any kids yet, and
> I really want to have healthy pregnancies like everyone else and not at 35
> or older.  I'd like to be able to marry as young as I can, but 35 is an
> unacceptable age to be pregnant, and Blake's a bit younger anyway, so we
> have to gauge how much time we have left before there's complications due
> to age and stuff.  My family doesn't really want me to do it because
> they're fleshly and require fleshly things.  Blake and I are devout
> Christians, and don't believe so much that the all important job should be
> first before marriage.  I gained a lot of freedom by coming to Denver, and
> I'm afraid it will be ripped away because of whatever reason. It's so sad
> what families often think of us, as their pets, not full members of the
> family.
> Beth On 11/20/2013 3:48 PM, Arielle Silverman wrote:
>
>> Hi Beth and  all,
>>
>> The phrase "real world" has always bothered me, in  a similar fashion
>> as the word "normal". I'm not sure what the one "real world" is
>> supposed to be, but in my observation it seems that everyone's reality
>> is a little different. I would submit that people are living in the
>> real world whether they are adolescents living with their parents,
>> college students not yet paying their own bills, people paying their
>> bills through SSI, or working people. Your cousin's implication that
>> the "real world" is one dominated by sighted people is something I
>> find particularly offensive. I would consider people working in  the
>> blindness field, or married to blind people, as still living in
>> reality.
>>
>> I have dated both blind and sighted people. My husband is sighted, but
>> I didn't marry him because I was specifically looking for a sighted
>> husband; I married him because I fell in love with him and he fell in
>> love with me even though I am blind. My parents never told me outright
>> that I should marry a sighted person, but they did send me that
>> message indirectly by being less enthusiastic about my blind
>> boyfriends than about my sighted one. It is sad, but many of our
>> family members just don't understand what blind partners have to offer
>> us. I don't think you should give your cousin's advice in that area
>> much mind. Anyone who has not met your boyfriend, blind or sighted, is
>> not qualified to judge him in my opinion.
>>
>> I'm not sure what your family members think you will gain by moving
>> back to Florida, but it sounds like they don't quite understand what
>> you have in Denver or what problems you faced in Florida. Again, it is
>> your decision, not theirs.
>>
>> Best,
>> Arielle
>>
>> On 11/20/13, justin williams <justin.williams2 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>> Beth, do your thing.  I don't know whether you should or shouldn't date
>>> the
>>> man, but if you like him, then enjoy the moment and see where it takes
>>> you.
>>>
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Beth
>>> Taurasi
>>> Sent: Wednesday, November 20, 2013 11:01 AM
>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>> Subject: [nabs-l] family's misunderstandings of the real world
>>>
>>> Hi, all.
>>> I was recently Facebook chatting my cousin and she accused me of doing
>>> the
>>> following things:
>>> 1. Obsession with my latest boyfriend, who she might have a problem with
>>> because he is blind.
>>> 2. She said I should be open to dating sighted people, yes, Arielle, you
>>> are
>>> married to a sighted man, but not all sighted people like a blind woman,
>>> and
>>> statistically it isn't true that sighted people will go out with blind
>>> women.
>>> 3. She says that blind people can do things, but she says I don't
>>> understand
>>> the real world.  What? I told her I do understand the real world, I pay
>>> my
>>> bills, I save money, I work with money. I don't pay taxes because in my
>>> understanding of the so-called "real world", SSI is not taxable, and
>>> finding
>>> a job for me is hard because I am dually disabled.
>>> I need help also convincing her that parenting is possible even with my
>>> particular disabilities.  I've tried referring her to NFB's parenting
>>> without Sight thingies, and she doesn't seem interested. I have a lot of
>>> friends on here so I'm posing this question.  Also, she says I should
>>> move
>>> back to Florida, but after all this stuff I've been through back there, I
>>> said to her, "No.  I've got all I need in Denver."
>>> Please help.
>>> Beth
>>>
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