[nabs-l] family's misunderstandings of the real world

Thu Nov 21 01:02:47 UTC 2013

It's my belief that sometimes no matter how much you fight with your family
it may come a time where you may have to cut them off. I know that sounds
harsh but if you really want something that is good for you like having
your own family and they won't support you  then oh well. Just know it will
be harder

Lavar J Phillips
5003 48 Street Woodside New York 11377
Cell # (917) 858 3368
Twitter lavar1988
On Nov 20, 2013 7:48 PM, "Lavar Phillips" <lavarjphillips at gmail.com> wrote:

> In what way is your family saying you are obsessed with boys ? Have you
> not been with your boyfriend for a long time.?Are they telling you to give
> it time to see if you want kids with him? I understand wanting to be able
> to have a healthy family. My girlfriend is 27 years old as well and I want
> kids I love kids
> Also your family can't take your freedom away. Sometime family can be a
> pain I'm sorry
>
> Lavar J Phillips
> 5003 48 Street Woodside New York 11377
> Cell # (917) 858 3368
> Twitter lavar1988
> On Nov 20, 2013 7:27 PM, "Beth Taurasi" <denverqueen1107 at comcast.net>
> wrote:
>
>> I faced problems in Florida, and no, I won't take my cousin's advice to
>> any mind, Arielle.  She doesn't understand any of what I would have said in
>> this message.  I'm glad you at least had some say in your life as to whom
>> you should marry, but my cousins and family are saying I am obsessed with
>> boys and don't give it time.  Well, I'm 27 and don't have any kids yet, and
>> I really want to have healthy pregnancies like everyone else and not at 35
>> or older.  I'd like to be able to marry as young as I can, but 35 is an
>> unacceptable age to be pregnant, and Blake's a bit younger anyway, so we
>> have to gauge how much time we have left before there's complications due
>> to age and stuff.  My family doesn't really want me to do it because
>> they're fleshly and require fleshly things.  Blake and I are devout
>> Christians, and don't believe so much that the all important job should be
>> first before marriage.  I gained a lot of freedom by coming to Denver, and
>> I'm afraid it will be ripped away because of whatever reason. It's so sad
>> what families often think of us, as their pets, not full members of the
>> family.
>> Beth On 11/20/2013 3:48 PM, Arielle Silverman wrote:
>>
>>> Hi Beth and  all,
>>>
>>> The phrase "real world" has always bothered me, in  a similar fashion
>>> as the word "normal". I'm not sure what the one "real world" is
>>> supposed to be, but in my observation it seems that everyone's reality
>>> is a little different. I would submit that people are living in the
>>> real world whether they are adolescents living with their parents,
>>> college students not yet paying their own bills, people paying their
>>> bills through SSI, or working people. Your cousin's implication that
>>> the "real world" is one dominated by sighted people is something I
>>> find particularly offensive. I would consider people working in  the
>>> blindness field, or married to blind people, as still living in
>>> reality.
>>>
>>> I have dated both blind and sighted people. My husband is sighted, but
>>> I didn't marry him because I was specifically looking for a sighted
>>> husband; I married him because I fell in love with him and he fell in
>>> love with me even though I am blind. My parents never told me outright
>>> that I should marry a sighted person, but they did send me that
>>> message indirectly by being less enthusiastic about my blind
>>> boyfriends than about my sighted one. It is sad, but many of our
>>> family members just don't understand what blind partners have to offer
>>> us. I don't think you should give your cousin's advice in that area
>>> much mind. Anyone who has not met your boyfriend, blind or sighted, is
>>> not qualified to judge him in my opinion.
>>>
>>> I'm not sure what your family members think you will gain by moving
>>> back to Florida, but it sounds like they don't quite understand what
>>> you have in Denver or what problems you faced in Florida. Again, it is
>>> your decision, not theirs.
>>>
>>> Best,
>>> Arielle
>>>
>>> On 11/20/13, justin williams <justin.williams2 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>
>>>> Beth, do your thing.  I don't know whether you should or shouldn't date
>>>> the
>>>> man, but if you like him, then enjoy the moment and see where it takes
>>>> you.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Beth
>>>> Taurasi
>>>> Sent: Wednesday, November 20, 2013 11:01 AM
>>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>>> Subject: [nabs-l] family's misunderstandings of the real world
>>>>
>>>> Hi, all.
>>>> I was recently Facebook chatting my cousin and she accused me of doing
>>>> the
>>>> following things:
>>>> 1. Obsession with my latest boyfriend, who she might have a problem with
>>>> because he is blind.
>>>> 2. She said I should be open to dating sighted people, yes, Arielle, you
>>>> are
>>>> married to a sighted man, but not all sighted people like a blind woman,
>>>> and
>>>> statistically it isn't true that sighted people will go out with blind
>>>> women.
>>>> 3. She says that blind people can do things, but she says I don't
>>>> understand
>>>> the real world.  What? I told her I do understand the real world, I pay
>>>> my
>>>> bills, I save money, I work with money. I don't pay taxes because in my
>>>> understanding of the so-called "real world", SSI is not taxable, and
>>>> finding
>>>> a job for me is hard because I am dually disabled.
>>>> I need help also convincing her that parenting is possible even with my
>>>> particular disabilities.  I've tried referring her to NFB's parenting
>>>> without Sight thingies, and she doesn't seem interested. I have a lot of
>>>> friends on here so I'm posing this question.  Also, she says I should
>>>> move
>>>> back to Florida, but after all this stuff I've been through back there,
>>>> I
>>>> said to her, "No.  I've got all I need in Denver."
>>>> Please help.
>>>> Beth
>>>>
>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>> nabs-l mailing list
>>>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>>>> nabs-l:
>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/
>>>> justin.williams2%40gmail
>>>> .com
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>> nabs-l mailing list
>>>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>>>> nabs-l:
>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/
>>>> arielle71%40gmail.com
>>>>
>>>>  _______________________________________________
>>> nabs-l mailing list
>>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>>> nabs-l:
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/
>>> denverqueen1107%40comcast.net
>>>
>>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> nabs-l mailing list
>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> nabs-l:
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/
>> lavarjphillips%40gmail.com
>>
>