[nabs-l] family's misunderstandings of the real world

Thu Nov 21 01:08:47 UTC 2013

Sometimes, you do have to cut them off.  I have to keep my family on the
outside a good bit; I have to keep them out of just about every loop accept
school stuff.  Its either that, or cut them off completely. 

-----Original Message-----
From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Lavar Phillips
Sent: Wednesday, November 20, 2013 8:03 PM
To: List
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] family's misunderstandings of the real world

It's my belief that sometimes no matter how much you fight with your family
it may come a time where you may have to cut them off. I know that sounds
harsh but if you really want something that is good for you like having your
own family and they won't support you  then oh well. Just know it will be
harder

Lavar J Phillips
5003 48 Street Woodside New York 11377
Cell # (917) 858 3368
Twitter lavar1988
On Nov 20, 2013 7:48 PM, "Lavar Phillips" <lavarjphillips at gmail.com> wrote:

> In what way is your family saying you are obsessed with boys ? Have 
> you not been with your boyfriend for a long time.?Are they telling you 
> to give it time to see if you want kids with him? I understand wanting 
> to be able to have a healthy family. My girlfriend is 27 years old as 
> well and I want kids I love kids Also your family can't take your 
> freedom away. Sometime family can be a pain I'm sorry
>
> Lavar J Phillips
> 5003 48 Street Woodside New York 11377 Cell # (917) 858 3368 Twitter 
> lavar1988 On Nov 20, 2013 7:27 PM, "Beth Taurasi" 
> <denverqueen1107 at comcast.net>
> wrote:
>
>> I faced problems in Florida, and no, I won't take my cousin's advice 
>> to any mind, Arielle.  She doesn't understand any of what I would 
>> have said in this message.  I'm glad you at least had some say in 
>> your life as to whom you should marry, but my cousins and family are 
>> saying I am obsessed with boys and don't give it time.  Well, I'm 27 
>> and don't have any kids yet, and I really want to have healthy 
>> pregnancies like everyone else and not at 35 or older.  I'd like to 
>> be able to marry as young as I can, but 35 is an unacceptable age to 
>> be pregnant, and Blake's a bit younger anyway, so we have to gauge 
>> how much time we have left before there's complications due to age 
>> and stuff.  My family doesn't really want me to do it because they're 
>> fleshly and require fleshly things.  Blake and I are devout 
>> Christians, and don't believe so much that the all important job 
>> should be first before marriage.  I gained a lot of freedom by coming 
>> to Denver, and I'm afraid it will be ripped away because of whatever 
>> reason. It's so sad what families often think of us, as their pets, not
full members of the family.
>> Beth On 11/20/2013 3:48 PM, Arielle Silverman wrote:
>>
>>> Hi Beth and  all,
>>>
>>> The phrase "real world" has always bothered me, in  a similar 
>>> fashion as the word "normal". I'm not sure what the one "real world" 
>>> is supposed to be, but in my observation it seems that everyone's 
>>> reality is a little different. I would submit that people are living 
>>> in the real world whether they are adolescents living with their 
>>> parents, college students not yet paying their own bills, people 
>>> paying their bills through SSI, or working people. Your cousin's 
>>> implication that the "real world" is one dominated by sighted people 
>>> is something I find particularly offensive. I would consider people 
>>> working in  the blindness field, or married to blind people, as 
>>> still living in reality.
>>>
>>> I have dated both blind and sighted people. My husband is sighted, 
>>> but I didn't marry him because I was specifically looking for a 
>>> sighted husband; I married him because I fell in love with him and 
>>> he fell in love with me even though I am blind. My parents never 
>>> told me outright that I should marry a sighted person, but they did 
>>> send me that message indirectly by being less enthusiastic about my 
>>> blind boyfriends than about my sighted one. It is sad, but many of 
>>> our family members just don't understand what blind partners have to 
>>> offer us. I don't think you should give your cousin's advice in that 
>>> area much mind. Anyone who has not met your boyfriend, blind or 
>>> sighted, is not qualified to judge him in my opinion.
>>>
>>> I'm not sure what your family members think you will gain by moving 
>>> back to Florida, but it sounds like they don't quite understand what 
>>> you have in Denver or what problems you faced in Florida. Again, it 
>>> is your decision, not theirs.
>>>
>>> Best,
>>> Arielle
>>>
>>> On 11/20/13, justin williams <justin.williams2 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>
>>>> Beth, do your thing.  I don't know whether you should or shouldn't 
>>>> date the man, but if you like him, then enjoy the moment and see 
>>>> where it takes you.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Beth 
>>>> Taurasi
>>>> Sent: Wednesday, November 20, 2013 11:01 AM
>>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>>> Subject: [nabs-l] family's misunderstandings of the real world
>>>>
>>>> Hi, all.
>>>> I was recently Facebook chatting my cousin and she accused me of 
>>>> doing the following things:
>>>> 1. Obsession with my latest boyfriend, who she might have a problem 
>>>> with because he is blind.
>>>> 2. She said I should be open to dating sighted people, yes, 
>>>> Arielle, you are married to a sighted man, but not all sighted 
>>>> people like a blind woman, and statistically it isn't true that 
>>>> sighted people will go out with blind women.
>>>> 3. She says that blind people can do things, but she says I don't 
>>>> understand the real world.  What? I told her I do understand the 
>>>> real world, I pay my bills, I save money, I work with money. I 
>>>> don't pay taxes because in my understanding of the so-called "real 
>>>> world", SSI is not taxable, and finding a job for me is hard 
>>>> because I am dually disabled.
>>>> I need help also convincing her that parenting is possible even 
>>>> with my particular disabilities.  I've tried referring her to NFB's 
>>>> parenting without Sight thingies, and she doesn't seem interested. 
>>>> I have a lot of friends on here so I'm posing this question.  Also, 
>>>> she says I should move back to Florida, but after all this stuff 
>>>> I've been through back there, I said to her, "No.  I've got all I 
>>>> need in Denver."
>>>> Please help.
>>>> Beth
>>>>
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>>
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>
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