[nabs-l] family's misunderstandings of the real world

Thu Nov 21 01:16:13 UTC 2013

Okay so they think your not thinking clearly.
Lavar J Phillips
5003 48 Street Woodside New York 11377
Cell # (917) 858 3368
Twitter lavar1988
On Nov 20, 2013 8:07 PM, "Beth Taurasi" <denverqueen1107 at comcast.net> wrote:

> They think it's because of mental health issues, but they are not seeing
> the big picture.  They are to blame for the mental health issues, and they
> didn't allow me as a teenager to have a boyfriend, to go to prom, to have
> friends period.  They simply isolated me from different clubs, youth
> groups, and such simply because I had suicidal ideations.  There's too much
> to cover in one email, and I wanna make it short.
> Beth Taurasi
> On 11/20/2013 5:48 PM, Lavar Phillips wrote:
>
>> In what way is your family saying you are obsessed with boys ? Have you
>> not
>> been with your boyfriend for a long time.?Are they telling you to give it
>> time to see if you want kids with him? I understand wanting to be able to
>> have a healthy family. My girlfriend is 27 years old as well and I want
>> kids I love kids
>> Also your family can't take your freedom away. Sometime family can be a
>> pain I'm sorry
>>
>> Lavar J Phillips
>> 5003 48 Street Woodside New York 11377
>> Cell # (917) 858 3368
>> Twitter lavar1988
>> On Nov 20, 2013 7:27 PM, "Beth Taurasi" <denverqueen1107 at comcast.net>
>> wrote:
>>
>>  I faced problems in Florida, and no, I won't take my cousin's advice to
>>> any mind, Arielle.  She doesn't understand any of what I would have said
>>> in
>>> this message.  I'm glad you at least had some say in your life as to whom
>>> you should marry, but my cousins and family are saying I am obsessed with
>>> boys and don't give it time.  Well, I'm 27 and don't have any kids yet,
>>> and
>>> I really want to have healthy pregnancies like everyone else and not at
>>> 35
>>> or older.  I'd like to be able to marry as young as I can, but 35 is an
>>> unacceptable age to be pregnant, and Blake's a bit younger anyway, so we
>>> have to gauge how much time we have left before there's complications due
>>> to age and stuff.  My family doesn't really want me to do it because
>>> they're fleshly and require fleshly things.  Blake and I are devout
>>> Christians, and don't believe so much that the all important job should
>>> be
>>> first before marriage.  I gained a lot of freedom by coming to Denver,
>>> and
>>> I'm afraid it will be ripped away because of whatever reason. It's so sad
>>> what families often think of us, as their pets, not full members of the
>>> family.
>>> Beth On 11/20/2013 3:48 PM, Arielle Silverman wrote:
>>>
>>>  Hi Beth and  all,
>>>>
>>>> The phrase "real world" has always bothered me, in  a similar fashion
>>>> as the word "normal". I'm not sure what the one "real world" is
>>>> supposed to be, but in my observation it seems that everyone's reality
>>>> is a little different. I would submit that people are living in the
>>>> real world whether they are adolescents living with their parents,
>>>> college students not yet paying their own bills, people paying their
>>>> bills through SSI, or working people. Your cousin's implication that
>>>> the "real world" is one dominated by sighted people is something I
>>>> find particularly offensive. I would consider people working in  the
>>>> blindness field, or married to blind people, as still living in
>>>> reality.
>>>>
>>>> I have dated both blind and sighted people. My husband is sighted, but
>>>> I didn't marry him because I was specifically looking for a sighted
>>>> husband; I married him because I fell in love with him and he fell in
>>>> love with me even though I am blind. My parents never told me outright
>>>> that I should marry a sighted person, but they did send me that
>>>> message indirectly by being less enthusiastic about my blind
>>>> boyfriends than about my sighted one. It is sad, but many of our
>>>> family members just don't understand what blind partners have to offer
>>>> us. I don't think you should give your cousin's advice in that area
>>>> much mind. Anyone who has not met your boyfriend, blind or sighted, is
>>>> not qualified to judge him in my opinion.
>>>>
>>>> I'm not sure what your family members think you will gain by moving
>>>> back to Florida, but it sounds like they don't quite understand what
>>>> you have in Denver or what problems you faced in Florida. Again, it is
>>>> your decision, not theirs.
>>>>
>>>> Best,
>>>> Arielle
>>>>
>>>> On 11/20/13, justin williams <justin.williams2 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>  Beth, do your thing.  I don't know whether you should or shouldn't date
>>>>> the
>>>>> man, but if you like him, then enjoy the moment and see where it takes
>>>>> you.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Beth
>>>>> Taurasi
>>>>> Sent: Wednesday, November 20, 2013 11:01 AM
>>>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>>>> Subject: [nabs-l] family's misunderstandings of the real world
>>>>>
>>>>> Hi, all.
>>>>> I was recently Facebook chatting my cousin and she accused me of doing
>>>>> the
>>>>> following things:
>>>>> 1. Obsession with my latest boyfriend, who she might have a problem
>>>>> with
>>>>> because he is blind.
>>>>> 2. She said I should be open to dating sighted people, yes, Arielle,
>>>>> you
>>>>> are
>>>>> married to a sighted man, but not all sighted people like a blind
>>>>> woman,
>>>>> and
>>>>> statistically it isn't true that sighted people will go out with blind
>>>>> women.
>>>>> 3. She says that blind people can do things, but she says I don't
>>>>> understand
>>>>> the real world.  What? I told her I do understand the real world, I pay
>>>>> my
>>>>> bills, I save money, I work with money. I don't pay taxes because in my
>>>>> understanding of the so-called "real world", SSI is not taxable, and
>>>>> finding
>>>>> a job for me is hard because I am dually disabled.
>>>>> I need help also convincing her that parenting is possible even with my
>>>>> particular disabilities.  I've tried referring her to NFB's parenting
>>>>> without Sight thingies, and she doesn't seem interested. I have a lot
>>>>> of
>>>>> friends on here so I'm posing this question.  Also, she says I should
>>>>> move
>>>>> back to Florida, but after all this stuff I've been through back
>>>>> there, I
>>>>> said to her, "No.  I've got all I need in Denver."
>>>>> Please help.
>>>>> Beth
>>>>>
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>>>>>
>>>>>
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