[nabs-l] Families misunderstanding real world

[Beth Taurasi]

Hey Bridget, you're right.  I truly love Blake, and there's nothing 
stopping me from loving him right now.  But we won't be marrying until 
he has the financial stability in place so he can take care of his 
family.  After all, I think being a stay at home mom would not be so 
bad.  When the kids go to school and tai kwon doh, we want them to be 
safe, then I'll consider both learning the martial art of tai kwon doh 
and perhaps working from home and in an office.  This way, we can expand 
on our income as a family.  That's waht I'm thinking.  I just don't want 
Blake to be all freaked out over an unhealthy child, no matter how hard 
I try to take care of my body.  We know that certain prenatal tests are 
out for now because of the risk of docs saying we need to abort and 
stuff, and about 80% of down's Syndrome cases in fetuses are now being 
aborted because people are stupid and don't know much about Down's.  
They haven't read "Count Us In", written by two Down's Syndrome men who 
grew up with the disorder.  Their moms were told to put the boys away, 
but like good parents should, both moms kept the boys and they became 
friends.  IF Blake and I end up with a child who has Down's, we know 
they can go far even with the disorder.  So what?  AT least the product 
will be there, and a family can be established, but adoption might be 
another option if I pass fifty by the time we're ready to actually make 
a commitment.  What I'm worried about though with adoption is the real 
world thing that says blind parents can't adopt.  I don't know how many 
blind Colorado people have adopted kids and how they went about doing 
it, but because of mental health complications, I don't know if adoption 
or even fostering is an option because nobody will give me good words.
Beth
On 11/21/2013 11:29 AM, Bridgit Pollpeter wrote:
> Beth,
>
> First, many, many women have children after 35. Technically, it gets
> more and more difficult to have children after 30 just because women are
> born with so many eggs that do not remain our entire life, but, if
> you're healthy, there's no reason to think you can't have children after
> 30. I had my first child at 31, and I'm type one diabetic. I have
> friends much older than me who had their first child well after 35. So
> this isn't a reason to rush children, or think you can't after a certain
> age.
>
> Also, the urgency to marry and have children shouldn't lead your
> relationship. Just let life happen. If you and your partner are ready
> for this, then do it. But at 27, honey , no one has a say in your
> choices but you. If you really love this person and see a future, move
> forward; not because you think you're reaching a sell-by-date and need
> to marry and have children by a certain time, but because you truly want
> to and are ready, and you have met the right person to do these things
> with.
>
> No one should dictate your choices. Beth, you say it's your life, your
> choices, but your actions indicate you are giving too much weight to
> what your family thinks and says. Again, at 27, you're a grown up and
> can make your own choices. Seeking advice and wisdom is great, but
> ultimately, you need to do what is right for you.
>
> If you're seeking a relationship just because you think you need to mate
> by your 30's, then maybe your family has a point, but if you really love
> this guy and want to be with him, then no one can stop you.
>
> So don't let people, or your own self-inflicted timeline dictate your
> life. Things truly happen when they are suppose too.
>
> Bridgit
> Message: 2
> Date: Wed, 20 Nov 2013 17:26:29 -0700
> From: Beth Taurasi <denverqueen1107 at comcast.net>
> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> 	<nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] family's misunderstandings of the real world
> Message-ID: <528D5335.3000706 at comcast.net>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1; format=flowed
>
> I faced problems in Florida, and no, I won't take my cousin's advice to
> any mind, Arielle.  She doesn't understand any of what I would have said
>
> in this message.  I'm glad you at least had some say in your life as to
> whom you should marry, but my cousins and family are saying I am
> obsessed with boys and don't give it time.  Well, I'm 27 and don't have
> any kids yet, and I really want to have healthy pregnancies like
> everyone else and not at 35 or older.  I'd like to be able to marry as
> young as I can, but 35 is an unacceptable age to be pregnant, and
> Blake's a bit younger anyway, so we have to gauge how much time we have
> left before there's complications due to age and stuff.  My family
> doesn't really want me to do it because they're fleshly and require
> fleshly things.  Blake and I are devout Christians, and don't believe so
>
> much that the all important job should be first before marriage.  I
> gained a lot of freedom by coming to Denver, and I'm afraid it will be
> ripped away because of whatever reason. It's so sad what families often
> think of us, as their pets, not full members of the family. Beth On
> 11/20/2013 3:48 PM,
>
>
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