[nabs-l] family's misunderstandings of the real world

Sat Nov 30 00:42:05 UTC 2013

Hi, Beth,

         Seems to me, you may wanna be sure clear in your mind, the 
world according to whom? Remember, the world looks differently to 
each person according to his priorities, and his capabilities. And, 
everyone has his own reality. You sound a little nutty with this mad 
dash to have kids, anyway. How old are you? Remember, just because 
physiologically speaking, Mama nature says you can be a mother, 
doesn't mean you ought too. We don't want a baby, to be having a 
baby, now do we? I imagine Blake will undergo a change for the 
better, should you cool it on the kid thing.
Just sayin, sister.
for today, Car
408-209-3239

, Beth Taurasi wrote:
>I faced problems in Florida, and no, I won't take my cousin's advice 
>to any mind, Arielle.  She doesn't understand any of what I would 
>have said in this message.  I'm glad you at least had some say in 
>your life as to whom you should marry, but my cousins and family are 
>saying I am obsessed with boys and don't give it time.  Well, I'm 27 
>and don't have any kids yet, and I really want to have healthy 
>pregnancies like everyone else and not at 35 or older.  I'd like to 
>be able to marry as young as I can, but 35 is an unacceptable age to 
>be pregnant, and Blake's a bit younger anyway, so we have to gauge 
>how much time we have left before there's complications due to age 
>and stuff.  My family doesn't really want me to do it because 
>they're fleshly and require fleshly things.  Blake and I are devout 
>Christians, and don't believe so much that the all important job 
>should be first before marriage.  I gained a lot of freedom by 
>coming to Denver, and I'm afraid it will be ripped away because of 
>whatever reason. It's so sad what families often think of us, as 
>their pets, not full members of the family.
>Beth On 11/20/2013 3:48 PM, Arielle Silverman wrote:
>>Hi Beth and  all,
>>
>>The phrase "real world" has always bothered me, in  a similar fashion
>>as the word "normal". I'm not sure what the one "real world" is
>>supposed to be, but in my observation it seems that everyone's reality
>>is a little different. I would submit that people are living in the
>>real world whether they are adolescents living with their parents,
>>college students not yet paying their own bills, people paying their
>>bills through SSI, or working people. Your cousin's implication that
>>the "real world" is one dominated by sighted people is something I
>>find particularly offensive. I would consider people working in  the
>>blindness field, or married to blind people, as still living in
>>reality.
>>
>>I have dated both blind and sighted people. My husband is sighted, but
>>I didn't marry him because I was specifically looking for a sighted
>>husband; I married him because I fell in love with him and he fell in
>>love with me even though I am blind. My parents never told me outright
>>that I should marry a sighted person, but they did send me that
>>message indirectly by being less enthusiastic about my blind
>>boyfriends than about my sighted one. It is sad, but many of our
>>family members just don't understand what blind partners have to offer
>>us. I don't think you should give your cousin's advice in that area
>>much mind. Anyone who has not met your boyfriend, blind or sighted, is
>>not qualified to judge him in my opinion.
>>
>>I'm not sure what your family members think you will gain by moving
>>back to Florida, but it sounds like they don't quite understand what
>>you have in Denver or what problems you faced in Florida. Again, it is
>>your decision, not theirs.
>>
>>Best,
>>Arielle
>>
>>On 11/20/13, justin williams <justin.williams2 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>Beth, do your thing.  I don't know whether you should or shouldn't date the
>>>man, but if you like him, then enjoy the moment and see where it takes you.
>>>
>>>
>>>-----Original Message-----
>>>From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Beth Taurasi
>>>Sent: Wednesday, November 20, 2013 11:01 AM
>>>To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>>Subject: [nabs-l] family's misunderstandings of the real world
>>>
>>>Hi, all.
>>>I was recently Facebook chatting my cousin and she accused me of doing the
>>>following things:
>>>1. Obsession with my latest boyfriend, who she might have a problem with
>>>because he is blind.
>>>2. She said I should be open to dating sighted people, yes, Arielle, you
>>>are
>>>married to a sighted man, but not all sighted people like a blind woman,
>>>and
>>>statistically it isn't true that sighted people will go out with blind
>>>women.
>>>3. She says that blind people can do things, but she says I don't
>>>understand
>>>the real world.  What? I told her I do understand the real world, I pay my
>>>bills, I save money, I work with money. I don't pay taxes because in my
>>>understanding of the so-called "real world", SSI is not taxable, and
>>>finding
>>>a job for me is hard because I am dually disabled.
>>>I need help also convincing her that parenting is possible even with my
>>>particular disabilities.  I've tried referring her to NFB's parenting
>>>without Sight thingies, and she doesn't seem interested. I have a lot of
>>>friends on here so I'm posing this question.  Also, she says I should move
>>>back to Florida, but after all this stuff I've been through back there, I
>>>said to her, "No.  I've got all I need in Denver."
>>>Please help.
>>>Beth
>>>
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