[nabs-l] Finding a niche in campus orgs

[Arielle Silverman]

Hi Kaiti,

Have you tried talking with the fraternity president or whoever does
the documents and  request  they email you the documents in accessible
format or let you know when something is posted? That seems reasonable
to me. They don't have to change their whole system, but just
providing an accessible format for you shouldn't be a big
inconvenience for them.

I have had similar experiences with not feeling completely included in
student groups. It still happens in grad school. I don't have a great
solution to suggest, except maybe to just try being friends with one
or two people in the group. That could go a long way.
I was involved with our Hillel Jewish Student Center in college and
served on their board for a year or two, but I don't think the
elections were very competitive. It was a big group and a lot of the
members didn't really talk to me either, but I was able to find a few
folks I hung out with pretty consistently, some of whom were on the
student board. I think I also had classes with or lived near some of
them too which was helpful.
If you really don't feel you belong in a group, though,  or if they
aren't willing to make things accessible or blame you for not getting
things done when it's an accessibility issue, then perhaps the group
just isn't a good fit for you. I'm sure you will find groups that are
more accepting and will make better use of your talents.

Best,
Arielle

On 4/6/14, Kaiti Shelton <crazy4clarinet104 at gmail.com> wrote:
> Hi all,
>
> For the past 2 years I've struggled to find my place in organizations
> on campus.  I felt the same way in high school, but here is my
> situation now.
>
> Freshman year I was in a club for my major, as well as a community
> service fraternity.  I ended up leaving that fraternity at the end of
> my freshman year because of a few things, but mainly because I felt
> the chapter was run in a very beaurocratic style, and the same people
> always did everything and never let those of us who were on the
> outside do much.  The elections seemed more like a popularity contest,
> with really personal digs made by current exec board members against
> candidates who they did not want to see in future exec board
> positions.  Though I didn't run for anything, even as an outsider, a
> member just watching and casting my votes, it left a bitter taste in
> my mouth.  If that was how it was going to be run, I didn't want to be
> a part of the organization.
>
> That spring semester I pledged another fraternity that I liked a lot
> better.  This one is a professional organization more geared towards
> my major.  It is smaller, and still does service, which I like.
> However, I have increasingly felt like I am not a part of the group.
> One of the main problems this year has been a lack of communication
> and access to the google docs resources.  Of course, these things work
> fine for the other 20 members of the chapter who are sighted, but they
> do not work for me.  I feel that when I miss a piece of information
> that was posted online, or when I don't know to do something because I
> can't see it, people are like, "Well, she screwed up again," rather
> than thinking, "Oh, I wonder if she didn't see it."
>
> This all sounds much more bitter or dramatic than I really feel, but I
> am a bit frustrated by this.  I have good ideas, and can do my job
> very well if I know what is expected of me and have the accessibility
> to do it.  However, with the google docs system, and the lack of
> communication I receive from my sisters about visual things they just
> pick up on naturally, I am unable to contribute in the way I want to.
>
> I think my struggles with these things has also impacted me socially.
> We had elections a few weeks ago, and I was the only junior who was
> not elected to an exec board position.  I ran for 2, and really wanted
> the recording secretary position.  I feel like the issues I had this
> year have made me seem like I am uncapable of carrying out these
> responsibilities to my sisters, when they really don't know my
> situation and never asked.  I specifically chose to run for recording
> secretary because I have particular experience with this position, and
> I also know that the minutes are taken in Word Docs and member
> standing is kept track in a spreadsheet.  I would have run into no
> technological glitches whatsoever, so this position would have been
> great for me.  I also gave up membership in other clubs and musical
> ensembles in order to make time for an exec board position should I
> have gotten one, so I'm thinking false social perceptions have gotten
> in my way.
>
> I also feel socially left out sometimes because not all members of the
> chapter will talk to me.  I mean, I'm certainly not expecting to be
> best friends with everyone, but some of them just don't even speak to
> me, which isn't a good feeling.  And yes, I do try to speak to them.
> They don't openly shun me, and it's not nearly that bad, but unless I
> say something to them they won't say hi, or ask how I'm doing even
> when we're sitting next to each other.  This is not just a chapter
> issue; the people this happens with also don't really socialize with
> me in classes, and I'm one of those awkward people who gets along more
> with people who are older and younger than her than with students in
> my year.
>
> I really don't want to sound whiney, because that was not my intent at
> all, but I'm wondering how people in similar situations got through
> these issues.
>
> --
> Kaiti
>
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