[nabs-l] Finding a niche in campus orgs

[Carly Mihalakis]

Good early morning, Kaiti,

         Wow! My first thought upon reading your post was, did you 
expect different from a fraternity? Seems to me trying to feel 
accepted amungst a fraternity might be akin to trying to find such a 
feeling amungst the cliquish, Society group eva! And, hasn't this 
feeling of exclusion been a perpetual presence within your experience 
at least, since you were in like, Kindergarten? Did you expect 
different from ol' Sighty? I think I have learned that, ol' Sighty 
has no use we regard as constructive for us. He doesn't need us.
I am trying to be supportive, here, so please don't read this as 
being in any way calloused to your receiving the heev ho by ol' 
Sighty, that was not my intent. I'm just trying to talk a little 
Turkey, get you to think. Also, I would like to talk if you are 
feeling it, Please use my number if you also feel it...
for today, Car
408-209-3239

  :30 PM 4/6/2014, you wrote:
>Hi all,
>
>For the past 2 years I've struggled to find my place in organizations
>on campus.  I felt the same way in high school, but here is my
>situation now.
>
>Freshman year I was in a club for my major, as well as a community
>service fraternity.  I ended up leaving that fraternity at the end of
>my freshman year because of a few things, but mainly because I felt
>the chapter was run in a very beaurocratic style, and the same people
>always did everything and never let those of us who were on the
>outside do much.  The elections seemed more like a popularity contest,
>with really personal digs made by current exec board members against
>candidates who they did not want to see in future exec board
>positions.  Though I didn't run for anything, even as an outsider, a
>member just watching and casting my votes, it left a bitter taste in
>my mouth.  If that was how it was going to be run, I didn't want to be
>a part of the organization.
>
>That spring semester I pledged another fraternity that I liked a lot
>better.  This one is a professional organization more geared towards
>my major.  It is smaller, and still does service, which I like.
>However, I have increasingly felt like I am not a part of the group.
>One of the main problems this year has been a lack of communication
>and access to the google docs resources.  Of course, these things work
>fine for the other 20 members of the chapter who are sighted, but they
>do not work for me.  I feel that when I miss a piece of information
>that was posted online, or when I don't know to do something because I
>can't see it, people are like, "Well, she screwed up again," rather
>than thinking, "Oh, I wonder if she didn't see it."
>
>This all sounds much more bitter or dramatic than I really feel, but I
>am a bit frustrated by this.  I have good ideas, and can do my job
>very well if I know what is expected of me and have the accessibility
>to do it.  However, with the google docs system, and the lack of
>communication I receive from my sisters about visual things they just
>pick up on naturally, I am unable to contribute in the way I want to.
>
>I think my struggles with these things has also impacted me socially.
>We had elections a few weeks ago, and I was the only junior who was
>not elected to an exec board position.  I ran for 2, and really wanted
>the recording secretary position.  I feel like the issues I had this
>year have made me seem like I am uncapable of carrying out these
>responsibilities to my sisters, when they really don't know my
>situation and never asked.  I specifically chose to run for recording
>secretary because I have particular experience with this position, and
>I also know that the minutes are taken in Word Docs and member
>standing is kept track in a spreadsheet.  I would have run into no
>technological glitches whatsoever, so this position would have been
>great for me.  I also gave up membership in other clubs and musical
>ensembles in order to make time for an exec board position should I
>have gotten one, so I'm thinking false social perceptions have gotten
>in my way.
>
>I also feel socially left out sometimes because not all members of the
>chapter will talk to me.  I mean, I'm certainly not expecting to be
>best friends with everyone, but some of them just don't even speak to
>me, which isn't a good feeling.  And yes, I do try to speak to them.
>They don't openly shun me, and it's not nearly that bad, but unless I
>say something to them they won't say hi, or ask how I'm doing even
>when we're sitting next to each other.  This is not just a chapter
>issue; the people this happens with also don't really socialize with
>me in classes, and I'm one of those awkward people who gets along more
>with people who are older and younger than her than with students in
>my year.
>
>I really don't want to sound whiney, because that was not my intent at
>all, but I'm wondering how people in similar situations got through
>these issues.
>
>--
>Kaiti
>
>_______________________________________________
>nabs-l mailing list
>nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for nabs-l:
>http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/carlymih%40comcast.net