[nabs-l] highschool question

Sat Aug 30 05:00:16 UTC 2014

Hi all,
Yes,I absolutely recommend joining as many extracurriculars as you
find exciting. In high schoolI was in choir, speech and debate, the
Key Club, a diversity club and Science Bowl. Clubs can really help you
make friends, they're a fun break from schoolwork, and at the end of
high school club involvement can really help you get into the college
of your choice and/or get scholarships. As an added bonus, many clubs
meet during lunch. I don't know about you, but I found the school
cafeteria to be an extremely unpleasant place. It was crowded,
everyone sat in their little groups, it was impossible to find anybody
I knew, plus the food was greasy and gross! Being able to have lunch
with a small group of kids who shared my interests was one of the
things that saved my sanity in high school, and helped me get the most
out of lunch period. I also ate in the TVI classroom sometimes, or
occasionally in a teacher's classroom and did homework, and those
solutions are fine, but I think joining clubs and especially those
that meet during lunch could really help with meeting people and
developing your talents.
Also, in high school most of my closest friends were blind. I found
that hanging out with blind kids allowed me to gain confidence and
build my social skils so it became easier for me to interact with
sighted people later on. I also tended to have deeper friendships with
blind kids because they understood a lot of what I was going through
and I never worried or wondered if they felt sorry for me or saw me as
inferior. I would encourage you to look for blind kids to meet by
talking to your TVI or going to a local NFB event in your area. I'm
not saying only hang out with blind kids, of course, but blind kids
who don't go to your school can still become great friends.
BTW, Lillie, I think you're a great conversationalist, and can't
imagine why anybody would not want to be your friend! And I am
definitely not saying that out of pity! :) In my experience, the
friendships your peers are building around fashion and selfie-taking
will probably not last beyond highschool, but the friendships based
around more sophisticated, mature interests probably will.

Arielle

On 8/29/14, Joshua Hendrickson via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> I Agree with Lily.  Joining activities both in high school, and in
> middle school, did help me to make friends, and have some fun as well.
> During Middle School, I was involved, in Wrestling, academic Bowl, and
> in a service club called Beta Club.  It was nice to contribute to a
> team and to enjoy talking to others who were interested in things that
> I was.  The nice thing about joining extra after school activities, is
> that you get out in your community, and just don't sit at home doing
> nothing.  I am so glad to be a part of this list, and to hear from
> younger blind people who want to pursue an education and better
> themselves.  This is something I feel very strongly about.  It isn't
> easy going to high school, or college, because we as blind
> individuals, often have to fight for the things we feel we need, but I
> believe, in the end, this makes us better people because, we have
> goals for our lives, and we do all in our power to achieve them.
>
> On 8/29/14, Lillie Pennington via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>> I have to agree with Kurts ideology here.
>> My high school has a general reputation, which I have found to be pretty
>> true in my experience, to be extremely clicky. These clicks don't seem to
>> have room for me besides being a cherody case.
>> Sure, their nice enough to me, but at the end of the day they really
>> don't
>> see the true values of being my friend.
>> There are several pretty cool people that I'm pretty good acquaintances
>> with
>> at my school; however, they have other friends, so as I said its an
>> acquaintance. I'm trying to not push back too hard because then again, I
>> run
>> the risk of being a cherity case; and that is a risk I am not willing to
>> take.
>> I would rather know that I am not wanted/do not fit in vs being  someone
>> to
>> be pitied.
>>
>> Part of this dates back to elementary school; quite honestly, I was a
>> weird
>> child that not a lot of people, blind or sited wanted to be friends with
>> me.
>> There were adults seemingly hovering all over the place, and what
>> elementary
>> school child would want to deal with that? That said, I did know a few
>> pretty cool people. I was also the target once of an extended period of
>> pretty not-so-good teacher behavior, shall we say. I was the kid that was
>> quite sad and really did not feel that I could relate to other people my
>> age.
>>
>> Relating is something I still kind of have problems with today. I don't
>> really feel that I care that much about today's generation trends such as
>> posting enormous amounts of pictures and other weird stuff on social
>> media,
>> and obsessing over fashion, for example. I also do not really feel that
>> they
>> could relate to day-to-day things with blindness, such as even the small
>> things like being annoyed that I had to do one of my TVI's weird
>> assignments
>> in study hall verses being able to do my homework. I sometimes have
>> trouble
>> coming up with conversation topics with my peers aside from a superficial
>> level. I also feel that I am a little more mature (I'm not sure if that's
>> the right word) and that I had to grow up a lot more quickly than my
>> sited
>> peers.
>>
>> Anyway, onto the original topic.
>> I'd definitely recommend joining some extracurriculars that you like, or
>> have an interest in. I'd also try to make sure that you have the
>> independence skills to be able to be a valuable contributor to the club
>> and
>> not just sit around. You have to be able to prove right from the start
>> that
>> you have something to contribute. I've met some of my afquaintances this
>> way.
>>
>> One last thing to be aware of: If this is an issue, I'd make sure that
>> your
>> school staff know that absolutely under no circumstances are they to set
>> you
>> up with friends, in the sense to ask someone to be your friend. I had a
>> group of friends (who I thought were my friends, anyway) in middle school
>> who I have very strong reason to suspect, although I could never prove
>> it,
>> that my aid at the time or someone else asked them to feel sorry for me
>> and
>> to be my friends. Anyway, once I pretty much figured it out, It served as
>> a
>> very strong source of humiliation for me and I hope nobody else has hod
>> to
>> go through that.
>>
>> I am sorry for the overall tone of this email being negative. I am sure
>> most
>> of you have had good experiences, and I am not trying to discount them or
>> create a sob story. I am just trying to paint a full  picture here.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Kirt via
>> nabs-l
>> Sent: Friday, August 29, 2014 8:59 PM
>> To: louvins at gmail.com; National Association of Blind Students mailing
>> list
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] highschool question
>>
>> This is fascinating. High school was when I first started to realize, if
>> only subconsciously, that most people don't treat me like a normal person
>> and blindness is pretty much the main reason. It's gotten better since,
>> as
>> I've learned to balance quality humor with genuine competence, but it's
>> not
>> an easy thing.
>>
>> Sent from my iPhone
>>
>>> On Aug 29, 2014, at 6:27 PM, Joshua Hendrickson via nabs-l
>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>>
>>> Hello to Anna and all.  I agree with what has already been said.
>>> Don't be afraid to joke around about your blindness if you are
>>> comfortable doing that.  I always used to joke around in college
>>> classes when I felt the time was right.  I got a lot of pretty good
>>> laughs from students from time to time.  I've also had a class of
>>> students become silent after I've made a joke and the teacher being
>>> afraid of offending me which I thought was pretty funny, since I'd
>>> been the one who made the joke in the first place.  Don't be afraid to
>>> talk to people around you.  If someone asks you a question about
>>> blindness answer the question if you can.  One time, I had a girl
>>> after one of my college math classes aproach me, and ask me some
>>> questions about what it was like being blind.  She wasn't even in my
>>> usual math class.  I answered her questions, then she came up to me in
>>> the studen center a few days later, and asked me a question, that I
>>> had never thought about.  She asked me how do you talk to a blind
>>> person?  I didn't laugh, although, I thought this was a different
>>> question.  I told her, you talk to a blind person the same way you
>>> talk to a sighted person.  Making friends can be very nice.  Good
>>> luck.
>>>
>>>> On 8/29/14, Sofia Gallo via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>>> Totally agree with Marissa, I've had a similar experience and I joke
>>>> about stuff all the time (smile)
>>>>
>>>>> On 8/29/14, Marissa Tejeda via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>>>> I know this may sound...  (lack for a word right now).
>>>>> I have made friends very easily all my life.  High school may seem
>>>>> hard, but it really isn't.  (smiles) I'm in the tenth grade, and
>>>>> have bunches of friends.  I am in band, but when I play with the
>>>>> others, no one notices I'm blind.
>>>>> It would help if I had some music, but that's a different story.
>>>>> I did perform in a pep rally last year.  I got two standing
>>>>> ovations, (there were two rallies so everyone in the school could
>>>>> go).
>>>>> I sat at a table by myself, one day.  (This was just this week.) Two
>>>>> girls sat across from me.  I didn't talk, so they didn't talk to me,
>>>>> (same would have happened, had I been able to see).  Then, my
>>>>> friends, Michelle and Jessica, came and sat by me.  I started
>>>>> talking with them; the two girls that sat across from me were
>>>>> friends of there's.  we ended up having a great time and now, I can
>>>>> ALMOST tell them by voice.  I still get confused between Michelle
>>>>> and Jessica, but I'm getting better.
>>>>>
>>>>> Just be open about it.  This may sound cruel to some, but I'm so
>>>>> open about my blindness, I'll joke about it in class.  "I can't see
>>>>> the board, can I move?" or someone says, "I'll see you tomorrow,
>>>>> Marissa." I'll turn, look at them, and say, "I won't."
>>>>> It gets people laughing.  I answer questions about being blind,
>>>>> whenever I'm asked.  Some people are shy; just say, "It's ok, you
>>>>> can ask."
>>>>> They think they will offend you.  Just let them know that they
>>>>> won't.
>>>>>
>>>>> If you need any help, feel free to email me off-list.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>> From: Ana Martinez via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>>>> To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>>>> Date sent: Fri, 29 Aug 2014 09:08:49 -0600
>>>>> Subject: [nabs-l] highschool question
>>>>>
>>>>> hi all I have a question, how do you make friends in highschool, for
>>>>> me it has been difficult because there a lot of students and in all
>>>>> of my classes there are different kids ,
>>>>>
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