[nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work... advice?
Sophie Trist
sweetpeareader at gmail.com
Wed Feb 5 12:38:14 UTC 2014
Bobbi, I agree with your suggestion of blocking the number.
She barely knows this person. She shouldn't have to deal with
another girl's baggage just because that girl has mysteriously
(and somewhat creepily) chosen her to unload on. I understand
listening and being sympathetic to someone's problems, but
enough's enough! There's a point where you shouldn't have to deal
with it anymore. Besides, it sounds like the girl needs
professional help, not just the listening ear and consolation of
a friend. Maybe if she blocks this stalker's number, it will
encourage her to seek help from a counselor or psychiatrist.
----- Original Message -----
From: Carly Mihalakis <carlymih at comcast.net
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org>,National Association of Blind Students
mailing list <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Tue, 04 Feb 2014 18:31:04 -0800
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work...
advice?
Hi, Bobbi,
Don't you think someone oughta deal with the problem directly,
personally and not do something so chicken shit as block your
number?
for today, Car
4908-209-3239
I would suggest calling her house and speaking with her parents.
Or
having her phone number blocked.
Bobbi A. L. Pompey
(336) 988-6375
pompey2010 at yahoo.com
http://pompey2050.wix.com/bobbi-pompey
On Dec 27, 2013, at 5:29 PM, Kaiti Shelton
<crazy4clarinet104 at gmail.com> wrote:
Hi all,
I have quite the puzzling situation on my hands, and I am not
quite
sure how to handle it. Thoughts?
Almost four years ago my mom and I went to this 3 day seminar
for
students in the state voc rehab program with visual impairments.
This
Friday evening to Sunday morning seminar was designed to show
students
and parents from around the state different employment options
that
were available, ranging from vending and call center jobs to
taking
the college route to get a degree in a two or four year program.
A
friend of mine and I, who lived close to each other, were
hanging out
early on. All of a sudden, this other girl was hanging all
over him
and would not give him his personal space. It was very odd,
considering that this was a very short period of time in which
this
all happened. Less than 24 hours after the students had met, my
friend was so creeped out by the almost constant and unwanted
attention that he began to avoid this girl. Other students,
seeing
how creeped out he was and some creeped out themselves due to
the same
thing, ended up following suit.
I was sixteen at the time, and could feel for my friend. The
girl was
very much in my face a lot of the time too, but I was a bit more
patient with her throughout the weekend. She seemed to be worse
with
the guys than the girls too, so I had a little more space than
my
friend.
About 3 months after the program in the summertime, she started
calling my house. The parents at the program were given a list
of the
other parents who attended, along with their phone numbers, so
they
could swap resources if they so chose. This girl got the list
from
her parents, and was using it to call me and my friend, possibly
other
students as well although I am not sure. The calls started off
being
about once every so often, then increased. She was a very odd
girl,
and liked to complain and cry about her problems to me and my
friend.
There was nothing social about the calls, just complaining and
negativity, and mumbling which was really weird. He quit
talking to
her much sooner than I did because I tried to get her to see
that
being visually impaired, (she didn't like the word blind since
she was
a large print reader, and kind of used that to elivate herself
above
other people), was not the worst thing in the world. She would
cry
and complain, and even tell me I didn't understand how bad
things
were, when her descriptions of things made it sound like she was
very
overdramatic. I decided at the end of my junior year, a year
after
the calls started coming, that I didn't want to talk to a
downer, and
that I wasn't going to be able to convince her that blindness
didn't
mean the end of the world.
The girl continued to call. My senior year was very busy with
activities and preparing for college. I would come home from
marching
band practices to find my siblings quite frustrated because the
girl
had kept calling, sometimes as much as 5 or 6 times in a span of
a few
hours. They didn't want to answer the phone because whenever
someone
told her I wasn't home she would instantly get teary and mumble
things
to herself, and it was very weird, but they didn't want her to
continue calling either. I remember one night over Christmas
break of
that year, she called and when I told her I was getting ready to
leave
the house, which I was to go pick up someone coming in from out
of
town for the holidays with my family, she got angry and wanted
me to
give her my cell phone number. I told her that I didn't want to
give
it out, and she started to get upset. Then I really had to go,
and
there was the characteristic mumbling.
My parents have told me that for the past year and a half that
I've
been in college that the girl has continued to call. My mom has
told
her that I live at school and do not come home much multiple
times.
My younger siblings, in frustration, have told her that I've
moved
away and have begun making up different things to tell her to
try to
discourage her from calling. She continues to call, and around
Christmas it is always terrible. A few nights ago she called
when my
parents were asleep a little after 11:00 at night, and has
apparently
called and left messages late at night before. My parents have
to get
up very early for work, so In order to stop the ringing and to
prevent
a message from playing over the machine I had to answer.
Everything
was exactly the same. I was heading to bed myself, so I told
her that
I was asleep when she asked for me. The fact that she had
called at
such a late hour didn't seem to phase her, there was just the
mumbling
and usual stuff coming over the line.
I don't quite know what to do. I've tried to be positive with
her and
that hasn't worked. My family has told her that I no longer
live at
home and am away at school among other things in frustration,
but
nothing seems to phase her. I know she still calls my friend's
house
as well, even though he does not live at home any more either.
I
don't quite know what to do about this. I barely know her and
she
barely knows me, and in spite of this I have tried to help her
with no
success. My parents and siblings have said that we should just
block
her calls, but I have hesitated in doing this while I was in
high
school because I didn't want to be mean, and then I honestly
forgot
about her for the most part while I was at school last year and
last
semester because I can't get calls from her there. After the
call a
few nights ago, I don't really know what to think. I am
slightly
creeped out that even after my parents have told her I am not
home for
the past year and a half that the calls are still coming. What
do you
think I should do?
--
Kaiti
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