[nabs-l] Mentoring a younger student; when enough is enough
Darian Smith
dsmithnfb at gmail.com
Tue Feb 11 16:37:51 UTC 2014
Hi all,
Just to throw something else in, I doubt that there is any desire on the teacher’s part to put any of their workload on Lilly. I suspect they think she would be a good mentor and look to her in that way.
While that is likely a great compliment on her, it’s fine to draw lines as to what you feel comfortable with.
I’m sure Lilly has a good idea as to how to handle it in a respectful way that helps her, the student and teacher.
Please let us know how it goes!
Darian
On Feb 11, 2014, at 8:19 AM, Emily Pennington <emilypennington at fuse.net> wrote:
> Hi, everyone.
> Regarding Kaiti's question about the tour, I think I might have an answer.
> I'm not sure if the mobility instructor is or is not taking the initiative
> and helping with the tour, but they might have the mind-set that a student
> giving the tour would be more beneficial since that student is the one who
> attends that school on a daily basis. Heck, when Lillie was starting high
> school, I offered to walk around with her and our O&M instructor one of the
> first times she visited the building. I was really excited to show her some
> of the routes I took, introduce her to teachers, and the like. Besides, I
> knew my sister wouldn't turn into some crazy stalker chick. Haha. At any
> rate, I agree with everything that's been said: you can help this girl, but
> it's not your job to serve as TVI, O&M instructor, teacher, and so on and so
> forth.
>
> Emily
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Joshua
> Hendrickson
> Sent: Tuesday, February 11, 2014 9:38 AM
> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Mentoring a younger student; when enough is enough
>
> Hi Katy and all. I completely agree with you. I hope you didn't let that
> girl use your notetaker when she forgot hers at home. That wasn't your
> fault. The girl should have gotten all hjer school stuff ready the night
> before so she didn't forget anything. I also agree about getting your
> parents or O-M instructor to help get you oriented when it comes to figuring
> out your classes. My mom used to run through with me my class schedule for
> each semester of college all the time. Granted, I didn't always pay as
> close attention as I should have, but that was my fault. The older I get,
> the more I learn how importatant it is to learn your routes to your classes
> as soon as you can, and as well as you can. The sooner you can find your
> way to your classes the better off you'll be. This will give you much
> needed independence and help you in the long run. Good luck to Lily and the
> rest of you in your schooling. I just received my associates degree a
> couple weeks ago.
>
> On 2/11/14, Kaiti Shelton <crazy4clarinet104 at gmail.com> wrote:
>> Hi all,
>>
>> I totally agree. You come first, so do what you can to be helpful but
>> not at the expense of your academics or other school-related
>> obligations.
>>
>> As competent blind students we often are asked to help those students
>> who are younger, could use more independence skills, etc. I've been
>> asked to do it several times with several students in my school
>> district as well, and the requests have ranged from reasonable things
>> like braille tutoring and understanding tactile diagrams when the
>> student came from a school district with really horrible VI services,
>> to absurd things that jeopardized my schooling. Heck, one time
>> another girl in my school forgot her notetaker on the day of a state
>> exam, so I was asked to give her mine and go through my classes
>> without access to my notes or textbook files. Helping is not truly
>> helping if it is at anyone's expense.
>>
>> I do have one question though. I may just not understand because I
>> was always either the only blind kid in my school, or the oldest one
>> without multiple disabilities, but why exactly does the VI want you to
>> give the tour? I can see why she might want to connect the two of
>> you, but I personally have always done campus orientations and run
>> through my class schedule with my mobility instructor or my parents
>> once it became silly to call in the instructor when my mom and I could
>> get it done in 15 minutes. I'm just curious as to why the mobility
>> instructor who's job it is to familiarize this student with a new
>> school layout isn't involved in this, or if he isn't for some good
>> reason why her parents aren't taking initiative.
>>
>> On 2/11/14, Ryan Silveira <ryan.l.silveira at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> Hi Lillie,
>>>
>>> I agree with what has been said thus far. The only thing I would add
>>> to the above advice would be that, when you have the conversation
>>> with the TVI and the other girl's para, make sure that you convey the
>>> message that you are perfectly willing to help out, but that the
>>> student is not your responsibility. The other thing would be just to
>>> be careful giving out your contact information. This girl may
>>> somehow think you're her "BFF" and want to constantly hang out with
>>> you--I've seen it happen to some friends, so it's just something to
>>> watch out for. Hope this helps.
>>>
>>> Ryan
>>>
>>> On 2/11/14, Joshua Hendrickson <louvins at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> Hi Lily. I would tell your VI teacher, that you don't mind helping
>>>> out htis student a little if your schedule per mits. But, you don't
>>>> want to hinder your schooling, if helping this student is going to
>>>> be difficult because of having a lot of class work ETC. It also
>>>> really depends on the student and if they genuinely accept your help
>>>> if you offer it. When I was in college, a blind girl I knew called
>>>> my house and asked me if I could show her a couple routes on campus
>>>> that she was having trouble with. The next day, I waited for her to
>>>> meet me where we had discussed so we could go the couple routes, and
>>>> she never showed up. This happened another time as well. If this
>>>> new student accepts your helping, just showing them a couple things
>>>> might be ok, but again, it really depends on them.
>>>>
>>>> On 2/11/14, Lillie Pennington <lilliepennington at fuse.net> wrote:
>>>>> Thank you both.
>>>>> I basically plan on waiting and seeing what happens with the tour.
>>>>> I also asked my vi when it was mentioned to have her write me a
>>>>> list of questions so I can gauge her position. I will also make
>>>>> sure she has my contact information so she can ask more questions
>>>>> at
>>>>>
>>>>> Sent from my iPhone
>>>>>
>>>>>> On Feb 11, 2014, at 12:26 AM, Darian <dsmithnfb at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Hi Lilly,
>>>>>> I think the easiest thing to do is to just have that conversation.
>>>>>> Think that it is okay to have a conversation with your teacher
>>>>>> that says that you are happy to show them around campus, (You were
>>>>>> once the one who was trying to figure out campus) but that because
>>>>>> of your schedule, you will be unable to do anything else beyond
>>>>>> that.
>>>>>> I'm sure that your teacher will understand.
>>>>>> Hope that helps,
>>>>>> Darian
>>>>>>
>>>>>> This electronic message has been brought to you by my mobile device.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>> On Feb 10, 2014, at 9:17 PM, Lillie Pennington
>>>>>>> <lilliepennington at fuse.net> wrote:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Hello all
>>>>>>> I know my subject and message may sound heartless, and I apologize.
>>>>>>> There is a blind student a few years younger than me in my school
>>>>>>> district that will be attending my high school next year. I have
>>>>>>> helped this student by serving as a guide in going to middle
>>>>>>> school programs.
>>>>>>> My
>>>>>>> vi asked if I would do a tour of the high school and answer
>>>>>>> questions.
>>>>>>> This is fine with me.
>>>>>>> My fear is that I will be asked to help with some sort of
>>>>>>> tutoring. I do not feel I can do this. This student has multiple
>>>>>>> disabilities, I am not a teacher, and I will have a rigorous
>>>>>>> class schedule plus dealing with responsibilities with junior
>>>>>>> year. I have mentioned this to my parents and parra, who i feel
>>>>>>> are supporting me. However, I am afraid my vi will not understand
>>>>>>> my reasons or misconstrue them for me being rude, which I do not
>>>>>>> want to do. I do not want to say this to early and be
>>>>>>> presumptuous, but I do not want to be misleading. Thank you for
>>>>>>> any advice.
>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>>
>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>> on%40fuse.net her leisure. I am just afraid my vi will not
>>>>>> understand my scheduling problems since he is kind of out of the
>>>>>> loop with my scheduling and classes, or that I need additional
>>>>>> help with time management and such.
>>>>>
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>>>
>>> --
>>> Ryan L. Silveira
>>>
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>>
>>
>> --
>> Kaiti
>>
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