[nabs-l] Sort of expanding on the social skills issue

[Lillie Pennington]

Hi Arielle
Thank you for your response. I am pretty sure my parents are going to bring up some of his actions at my iep. My guidance counselor said she felt I was fine taking these courses. I arrived at the meeting first so I got to talk to her by myself. I don't think he can officially do anything to me at this point. My dad warned me that he may try to say negative things about myself to future teachers. I am going to  circumvent this a little by having meetings with most of my teachers by the end of the school year.

Sent from my iPhone

> On Mar 5, 2014, at 11:45 PM, Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com> wrote:
> 
> Hi Lillie,
> 
> I am sorry you are having these issues. It is tricky to deal with the
> ignorance of people who are in authority over you, especially when you
> are still a teenager. If your TVI is a decent guy, he should listen to
> you if you calmly and politely explain your preferences. However, he
> may or may not take you seriously. If your parents agree with you, you
> may want to have your mom or dad call him and talk to him about how he
> is interfering with your success more than helping you. Blind students
> take multiple AP classes all the time and unless you took AP classes
> in the past that you weren't able to pass, he has no basis for talking
> you out of it. My guess is he probably doesn't want to spend the time
> preparing all your Braille materials for those classes, but that's not
> his right as a teacher to discourage you for his own benefit. You can
> also take this matter up with your guidance counselor or even the
> principal. The bottom line is your TVI is responsible for getting you
> Braille materials, not setting your schedule. You and your parents can
> also request an IEP meeting to discuss this stuff with him and with
> your teachers who are supporting you. Unfortunately, sometimes when we
> are young we just have to make the best of the situations we are in
> until we are old enough to get out of them. Bringing this thread full
> circle, my parents often admonished me for being "too independent" if
> I refused help. I didn't have blind adults to talk to and it took me a
> while to realize that I had the right to refuse "help" that made me
> feel uncomfortable. I hope we can offer you support as you deal with
> the barriers that other people sometimes put up in the name of trying
> to be helpful.
> 
> Best,
> Arielle
> 
>> On 3/5/14, Lillie Pennington <lilliepennington at fuse.net> wrote:
>> 
>> 
>> Hi everyone. We are talking about social skills mainly with students and in
>> some public situations. However, what about with teachers or parents?
>> I have had a decent number of moments where I have had to be assertive, and
>> I am still refining my skills. I am dealing with and I feel as if I am
>> walking on a very thin line for handling. I have a new tvi who is new this
>> year and is a little odd in his actions and word choices than I was used to.
>> I guess I am referring to his personality although I guess that sounds
>> rather rude and judgmental now that I think about it.
>> Over the past few months he has done some things that me and some of my
>> family thought was rather strange or out of place. He accused me of being
>> lazy and taking shortcuts but could not give any reason or examples of why
>> he felt this way. When I went on a school trip he asked questions that I
>> thought standard to ask someone about a trip such as how long the bus ride
>> was and then some stranger questions such as how long I knew each of my
>> roommates and wrote all of my answers down.
>> Today I had a confrontation about bap classes. He basically told me that he
>> thought I as a blind person shouldn't take 4 ap classes, even though I had
>> teacher recomendations for these classes. He decided to make an appointment
>> with my counselor, him and myself and I have a feeling that this is on the
>> agenda. I have been polite but firm in most of my dealings with him, such as
>> I apreciate and understand your concern, but I think I will keep my
>> schedule. Thank you for telling me how you feel.
>> These situations are occurring more often, and I am struggling with what to
>> do. Should I continue with my current tactic? He can tell me I am stupid or
>> lazy all he wants and I would respectfully listen as long as long as he had
>> even a single reason. I don't know what to do and I am sorry I'm complaining
>> on a public listserve like this.Sent from my iPhone
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