[nabs-l] Sort of expanding on the social skills issue

[Arielle Silverman]

Hi Lillie,

I am sorry you are having these issues. It is tricky to deal with the
ignorance of people who are in authority over you, especially when you
are still a teenager. If your TVI is a decent guy, he should listen to
you if you calmly and politely explain your preferences. However, he
may or may not take you seriously. If your parents agree with you, you
may want to have your mom or dad call him and talk to him about how he
is interfering with your success more than helping you. Blind students
take multiple AP classes all the time and unless you took AP classes
in the past that you weren't able to pass, he has no basis for talking
you out of it. My guess is he probably doesn't want to spend the time
preparing all your Braille materials for those classes, but that's not
his right as a teacher to discourage you for his own benefit. You can
also take this matter up with your guidance counselor or even the
principal. The bottom line is your TVI is responsible for getting you
Braille materials, not setting your schedule. You and your parents can
also request an IEP meeting to discuss this stuff with him and with
your teachers who are supporting you. Unfortunately, sometimes when we
are young we just have to make the best of the situations we are in
until we are old enough to get out of them. Bringing this thread full
circle, my parents often admonished me for being "too independent" if
I refused help. I didn't have blind adults to talk to and it took me a
while to realize that I had the right to refuse "help" that made me
feel uncomfortable. I hope we can offer you support as you deal with
the barriers that other people sometimes put up in the name of trying
to be helpful.

Best,
Arielle

On 3/5/14, Lillie Pennington <lilliepennington at fuse.net> wrote:
>
>
> Hi everyone. We are talking about social skills mainly with students and in
> some public situations. However, what about with teachers or parents?
> I have had a decent number of moments where I have had to be assertive, and
> I am still refining my skills. I am dealing with and I feel as if I am
> walking on a very thin line for handling. I have a new tvi who is new this
> year and is a little odd in his actions and word choices than I was used to.
> I guess I am referring to his personality although I guess that sounds
> rather rude and judgmental now that I think about it.
> Over the past few months he has done some things that me and some of my
> family thought was rather strange or out of place. He accused me of being
> lazy and taking shortcuts but could not give any reason or examples of why
> he felt this way. When I went on a school trip he asked questions that I
> thought standard to ask someone about a trip such as how long the bus ride
> was and then some stranger questions such as how long I knew each of my
> roommates and wrote all of my answers down.
> Today I had a confrontation about bap classes. He basically told me that he
> thought I as a blind person shouldn't take 4 ap classes, even though I had
> teacher recomendations for these classes. He decided to make an appointment
> with my counselor, him and myself and I have a feeling that this is on the
> agenda. I have been polite but firm in most of my dealings with him, such as
> I apreciate and understand your concern, but I think I will keep my
> schedule. Thank you for telling me how you feel.
> These situations are occurring more often, and I am struggling with what to
> do. Should I continue with my current tactic? He can tell me I am stupid or
> lazy all he wants and I would respectfully listen as long as long as he had
> even a single reason. I don't know what to do and I am sorry I'm complaining
> on a public listserve like this.Sent from my iPhone
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